Colours
by Elizabeth T. Diaries
Summary: When 18-year-old Ana becomes the babysitter/tutor for 5-year-old Charlie Grey she inevitably meets CEO billionaire Christian Grey. Trapped in an unhappy marriage out of necessity, will Christian succumb to his desires? Will Ana let him? *AU/HEA/AGE-GAP* *NOW COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N:**

 **Hi guys. As some of you may know, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for the past few years and updates have been sporadic with my stories for that reason. Sometimes I have no motivation at all but with this new story I've been working on, I've actually** _ **enjoyed**_ **writing it for the first time in a while. With my other stories, I haven't enjoyed writing them anymore. (Not that I won't finish them of course) but I've been having a blast writing this story and I really want to share it with you, despite all my other stories I have going on. I've pre-written a lot of this story so updates should be more regular. I'm sorry I've been hit and miss. Along with the stress of second year English literature degree work, a few weeks ago I finally got started on a course of medication for my depression and my moods have been up and down. I've finally realized that I'm ill and that's okay, I'm going to try my best to get better so please, be easy on me. I hope you enjoy my new story. The next chapter will be soon and be sure to tell me what you think. Your feedback is what encourages me to keep going. Elizabeth x**

* * *

 _August 24th 2016_

It is a matter of circumstance and convenience which has brought me here today. I'm wearing a navy-blue dress with my hair in a ponytail. This interview now makes it my fourth in two weeks. As it turns out, not many people are willing to hire freshly out-of-school high school graduates for decent paying jobs. If I was being interviewed for Wendy's, _sure_ , but I've long outgrown rowdy fast food joints and groups of thirteen-year-old boys out on Friday nights. I'm in need of something calmer, dignified and more importantly, higher paid.

This year, I've decided to take a much-needed year out in order to save up for college. My father, Ray, will help me where he can but being as his job isn't amazingly paid and he has a house to look after, it will only be the minimum amount.

So I'm here, standing outside of one of the largest houses I've ever seen, for a babysitting/tutoring job for CEO billionaire _Christian Grey's_ young child. I'm here to be interviewed to pick up, take home, help with homework, entertain and keep occupied a five-year-old little boy, whose parents clearly have no time to do themselves. With their money and rigid schedules, if I land it, I'll be earning $35 an hour which is _definitely_ more than my last job.

So yeah, I really need this.

* * *

A tall woman with long blonde hair opens the door for me. I recognize her from websites and news magazines when being photographed occasionally with Mr Grey. She nods curtly and beckons me in. If I dare thought the house was big from the outside, it's incomparable inside. I walk along marble floors into a vast immaculate hallway with winding stairs but I barely have time to examine. She sweeps me forward into a small, neat office and gestures toward a chair opposite the desk. Naturally, she takes the seat on the other side.

The first thing she does is pick up a clipboard and peer at it closely. The first thing I do is notice the shiny diamond ring on her finger which is impossible to miss. I look at her face more observantly. She's _dripping_ in expense, from the diamond earrings to the eyelash extensions and designer silk blouse. I vaguely wonder what it'd be like to be this wealthy. It's a world I could never comprehend.

"Anastasia Steele," her voice is sharp and authoritative. I don't like it much. "My name is Emma Grey, as you're probably aware."

"Yes," I answer.

"You're here to be the tutor and babysitter for my son, Charlie." She acknowledges.

"Yes," I answer again.

"Okay," she picks up the clipboard again and flicks her hair behind her ears.

She's pretty, in a very traditional sort of way. Blonde, thin, elfin like. Her eyes are a deep chocolate brown that contrast heavily with her light complexion.

"You graduated in June," she says without looking at me. "GPA 4.0, previous jobs, Target, Kmart, excellent references from your teachers and former employers. You're on a deferred year from the University of Washington."

None of these are questions. They're facts she's reading aloud from my application. I sit in silence, waiting. Finally, she looks up.

"Tell me about yourself," she asks. "What's the reason you applied for this job?"

"I love children," I admit. "I actually would like to be a teacher. I feel as though getting to bond with a child and help them will not only enrich them, but myself also."

She nods her head. "Fantastic."

It's one of those times when I can't work out whether she's being sarcastic or not. I can tell from her demeanor that she's a very severe woman and not one to mess with. Honestly, she's intimidating. She gets to her feet to fetch something.

"My husband and I work long hours," she says, coming back with a big folder in her hands. "As you know, my husband is the CEO of Grey's enterprise holdings and I'm a lawyer."

 _Of course,_ "Yeah," I nod. "I know."

"Good." She opens the folder. "Now that Charlie has started school, he's in need of being picked up each day and attended to. He needs help with homework and entertaining in the evenings, before we get home."

She finds a wallet and rips it out of the folder, handing it to me.

"Look over this in your own time," she instructs. "It's Charlie's schedule and other things which you'll need to adhere to." She closes the folder and stands again to put it back.

"He finishes school at three but we're not usually back until between seven and eight, sometimes later." Her heels click on the tile floor as she walks. They're Jimmy Choos. "You're not expected to cook for him or clean, anything like that. We have a housekeeper for all of those things and she'll make you _your_ dinner too, which you'll eat with Charlie."

She stands in front of the desk now, with her legs crossed leaning against it. "You're to be his friend really. Look after him, keep him happy. Play games, take him to the park, that sort of thing. All you need to know is in the folder I got you. Do you have any questions?"

Yes. "Um, does this mean I've got the job?" I ask nervously. I never expected things to be this instant.

She looks at me as if I'm stupid. When she realizes I'm being serious, she answers.

"Yes," she says pointedly. "You'll start tomorrow if that's okay, three o clock? I'll issue you your keys, Charlie's car seat, and that will be all. Thank you."

She gives me the keys and then sees me out. It's all just so fast. I walk back to my car feeling surprised, confused, and _exceedingly_ happy.

* * *

The moment I get home I get out of my tight and stuffy dress before changing into sweats and a sweater. I leave Kate and Jose, my best friends, a message on the group chat that I got the job, as well as my mom and Ray, before heading downstairs to make dinner. I settle on baked potatoes tonight. In the kitchen, I marinate them with herbs and butter before placing them in the oven on a low heat. Ray won't be back for a while yet.

After I'm finished, I head back into the lounge where I switch on the TV. My home is a small, 2 bedroomed, 2 bath roomed, semi-detached house in a decent area. It's nowhere near as grand as the Grey's but I love it so much. Ray worked so hard to provide a decent place for me to live and he's the best father I could ask for. A couple minutes later, my phone rings. It's my mom.

"Hi mom," I answer, turning on the channel to some show about wedding dresses.

"Oh Annie I'm so happy for you darling, but you don't need to pay for college anymore. I've just made things official with Simon and I'll ask him to pay."

I roll my eyes. My mother has been expertly making her way through as many rich men as possible since I was eleven years old, trying to find long lasting love. She had that with Ray but gave it up for someone better. I love her dearly but she's a hopeless romantic, currently engaged to her fifth husband and living in San Diego.

"Mom, it's fine," I assure her. "I need a job anyway. I can't just sit still for a year."

"Oh alright," she sighs, "but I'm still going to help out with your funds. Also, I'm coming to see you soon. I've missed you honey."

Yes, my crazy erratic mother, Carla. Always full of empty promises and road trips that lead nowhere.

"I miss you too mom."

The door knocks and I immediately get up. "Mom, I have to go. Congratulations with Simon. I'll call you back later."

I ignore her protests, hang up, and go to answer the door. As presumed, it's Kate and Jose and Jose is clutching a huge bottle of wine wearing glitter all over his eyes.

"PARTY!" He screams.

"Shut up," I laugh, letting them in and closing the door behind them. "Did this occasion warrant the eye glitter?"

"No, but I'm glad I wore it," he says, as they both come into the living room and sit down.

"Ahh, bad date night?" I ask. Any time Jose has a bad date night he comes over in glitter to make himself feel fabulous and wine to drown his sorrows. Kate prefers short skirts, red lips and vodka.

"How did you guess?" He says glumly. "He was a dick. Wanted to fuck in the bathroom on the first date. I tell you, I could've hit him."

I fetch the wine glasses. "What an ass. Come on, let's take this upstairs before Ray gets back. The last thing he needs to see is us drinking."

"He's not coming," Kate grins. "Well, not till much later."

"What do you mean?" I ask, setting down the glasses as Jose opens the bottle.

"We told him we were coming over for a little while and suddenly he had a huge mountain of work to do, which would keep him there all night," she laughs.

"But I put in _two_ potatoes," I sigh.

"I'll eat one," Jose offers, pouring us all drinks. "I'm starving. I had to pretend to be satisfied with a salad at dinner. A fucking salad." He takes a big gulp of wine.

"Do you have vodka instead?" Kate asks.

I shake my head and go to find it.

* * *

 _August 25_ _th_ _2016_

By 2am, we're all pretty out of it. Kate and Jose are still dancing in the dark in my bedroom and I'm lying in bed feeling very sick and very stupid. I'm starting work tomorrow and I cannot be hung over and tired. I sit up and a wave of nausea washes over me. I sprint to the bathroom and vomit up wine, vodka and potato. It's disgusting.

"Right," I say, when I walk back into the room. I turn off the music. "It's bed time, I'm not waking up hungover. Jose you have work too."

"Party pooper," Kate pouts as we all climb into bed.

"Don't worry," Jose whispers to her. "You can help me out on tinder."

She squeals excitedly and that's the last thing I hear before I pass out.

* * *

I have a restful, dreamless sleep and awake at 8 by Jose pottering around the room. Surprisingly, I don't feel too bad. Perhaps a little tired, but that can always be fixed by a large dose of coffee.

"9 o clock start for the girl I'm tutoring," he says wearily, trying to comb his hair.

By night he works as a waiter at _Revolution_ restaurant and bar in town. In the days, he tutors children in violin. He's a music prodigy with an affinity for strip poles. Kate's still sleeping soundly. Her parents are rich so she didn't need to take a year out to save like us but she didn't want to go to college _without_ us either. She landed herself an internship at CHANEL for a year which is the biggest achievement ever. She only attends four days a week and today isn't one of them.

After Jose's gone, we head over to Scribbles cafe for breakfast. A place we've always gone to since we were kids. Children can scribble on the white board walls hence the name. I order pancakes, Kate orders bacon with extra bacon and black coffee.

"Still no carbs?" I ask.

She shakes her head. Kate has the worst hangovers. It's like trying to communicate with a blonde zombie.

"Nervous for today?" She finally asks, through a mouthful of bacon.

I nod. "Terrified. What if the boy doesn't like me?"

She makes a face and puts down her fork. "Not likely Ana. He'll love you, I'm sure." She leans across the table to give my hand a squeeze.

I smile and then my phone buzzes. It's from Ray wishing me luck also.

"What are you doing later?" Kate asks as we finish up and head out.

"Nothing, want to do something?" I ask.

She nods. "Movie night would be nice, or a drive somewhere."

"Sounds great, I'll message you."

"Good luck," she calls.

We both get in our separate cars and I make my way home to get ready for work.

After my shower, I dress smart casually in a blue satin blouse and my favourite pair of blue jeans. I've borrowed Kate's Louboutin flats for an extra confidence boost and I pile my hair into a high pony tail, wearing minimal makeup. I smooth over my blouse as I stare at myself in the mirror. My heart is beating fast.

All I can say, is that I sincerely hope little Charlie Grey takes a liking to me.

* * *

 **Please review xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hi guys i'm updating now because there was such an overwhelming response to the first chapter! Thank you for everyone who wished me well, hope you enjoy chapter 2 x**

* * *

 _August 25_ _th_ _2016_

Once I've placed the instructions to Charlie's school in my Sat Nav, I head off, feeling my heart beat a hundred miles per hour. Emma could have at least introduced me to him beforehand. What will he say when I just turn up? He doesn't know who I am. I wonder if they've even told him he'll be having a new babysitter. I'll have to go and speak to the teacher.

The school is not that far, but it is the elite parts of town which I never venture too. It's just past the Grey's house, which is in the _Acres._ I park up and survey from my window all the glossy cars and manicured moms standing and chatting outside of the gates. It's a prepatory school, of course. Independent day school from ages 5-11. I wait in my car, feeling a little sick until the clock strikes three and the gates are opened. Not wanting to be late for him, I get out immediately, bag in hand and make my way up through the wrought gates. Children are running in all directions, zooming around parents. I walk up to where the doors are open and teachers are gathering around.

"Hi," I say, to the kindest looking woman. "I'm here for Charlie-"

She cuts me off with a warm smile. "You must be Charlie Grey's new babysitter," she says kindly. "Mrs Grey has informed us, she says you have the signed form from her."

I'm confused for a moment before I remember the folder. "Oh!" I exclaim. "Yes, hold on a second."

It's takes me more than a second to grab the right document from the folder but I eventually do and hand it over to the lady.

"Fantastic! Let me go and fetch Charlie."

I wait nervously as I feel other eyes on me. Prying mom's wanting to know who the new girl is and if she could possibly have a child. One brunette woman actually makes her way over to me and asks me which child I'm waiting for. I'm about to answer when the teacher comes out again.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says curtly to the nosy woman. "Here we go, come on Charlie."

A little boy appears behind her and he really is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. He has loose dirty blonde curls, big green eyes and a wide toothy smile.

I bend down to his level and he stares at me with wide eyes.

"Hi Charlie, my name is Ana and I'm going to be picking you up from school and having fun with you until your parents come back. Is that okay?"

"Your name is Ana," he repeats.

"Yes," I smile. "So how about we go for ice cream before we go home? Sound like fun?"

He literally jumps in the air and the teacher laughs. "That's so fun! I love ice cream," he confirms.

I stand up, take his hand, and off we go.

* * *

Once he's all strapped into the car seat at the back, we head out for the ice cream shop I passed on the way. He chatters to me the entire time.

"How old are you Ana?" He asks.

"I'm eighteen, and you're five, right?"

"I am five years old," he counts five fingers and holds them up for me to see. "You're eighteen, which is younger still than my dad _and_ my mom. Daddy's just had a birthday for being thirty and mommy's a _whole_ thirty-five," he says in awe as if admiring an ancient dinosaur. I suppress a smile.

"So what's your favourite ice cream?" I ask him, as we arrive and I unbuckle him.

"Chocolate! Mommy never lets me have ice cream but daddy does," he says, holding my hand.

I want to agree with him that his mother looks like the type of woman that won't allow her children ice cream but I refrain.

"That's nice of your daddy," I say.

We enter the shop and I order him a small chocolate ice cream and I settle on the same.

"We match," he says excitedly.

"We do," I grin.

"I like you," Charlie smiles and just like that, my heart already warms to him. Children, they're so innocent and lovely, basing their approval of you on a chocolate treat.

I think we're going to get on just fine.

* * *

Once we arrive back home, he changes out of his uniform and I help him with his maths homework which takes no more than half an hour. After that, we play with Lego in his enormous playroom for a while and whilst he's occupied with building a particularly complicated pirate shop, I decide to explore a little. Familiarise myself with the place I'm going to be spending hours each day.

The Grey house is vast, enormous and possible the most luxurious house I've ever seen in my life. There's the main lounge, with white couches and glass walls and a smaller one with black leather and wooden flooring. The foyer is all marble and the winding staircases branch off into a first floor consisting of two offices and Charlie's playroom. Then there is a second staircase which leads to five large bedrooms, none of which I go in. Back downstairs, I find an indoor swimming pool which leads out to a tennis court. Back in the enormous white kitchen, I find a short middle aged woman wearing an apron.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say, embarrassed to be caught spying.

"Not to worry dear," she smiles kindly. "I'm Gale. You must be Charlie's new babysitter."

"Ana," I nod. "It's nice to meet you."

"Dinner's at five thirty," she tells me, before going back to her work.

I head straight back to Charlie and leave my wondering for another time.

Dinner is salmon, vegetables, potatoes and a side salad. I notice a large laminated sheet stuck to the fridge. Gale notices me looking as she places down two glasses of water on the table.

"Charlie's meal plan," she tells me. "Devised with Emma of course. She's very particular about what he eats."

 _Strict._ She means _strict._

The food is delicious however and afterwards, Charlie wants to watch a movie.

"Can we watch Toy Story Ana?" He asks.

"Course we can buddy."

He picks it out for me and I pop it in. We sit together in the white living room, and watch. He nuzzles into me. My hands automatically run gently through his soft hair.

"The chocolate ice cream will be our secret," he whispers.

I chuckle and we pinkie promise together. We get through almost the whole movie before I hear the door open. I look down at Charlie and he's still curled into me, fast asleep. I don't want to move in case I wake him. A few seconds later, Emma is standing in front of me with a slight smile.

"Looks like he likes you already," she says approvingly.

"We had a great time, he's wonderful," I say honestly.

"Well, I'll put him to bed. You can leave for the night and we'll see you tomorrow."

She picks him up gently and I bid her goodnight before grabbing my things and heading out of the door.

* * *

By the time I make it home, it's seven thirty. Ray's home and he asks me all about my day.

"It was good actually, Charlie's a great kid."

"I'm glad," he smiles. "Five days a week?"

"Yeah," I nod. "Weekends off."

"Not so bad."

I agree.

My beloved father has never been a man of many words, however the words he does say, are very meaningful. He's a wonderful dad.

* * *

After I change into some comfies, I call Kate over for movie night. Jose's working so it's just us. We put pitch perfect on and paint our nails.

"I'm glad it went well," Kate says, after I finish telling her about my day. "Have you met Christian yet?" She asks, blowing on her ice blue nails.

"No," I smile. "I suppose he literally works 24/7 doesn't he?"

She shrugs. "Has to come home sometime. He's so handsome, what is his wife like?"

"She's strict," I say. "Stern I would say, but she gave me the job so I guess she's nice enough."

We're quiet for a moment as I finish painting my thumb dusty pink.

"I can't see how you'd maintain a healthy marriage if both parents always work." Kate comments.

I shrug. "I suppose they make it work in their own way."

I don't really care about Mr and Mrs Grey's marriage to be quite honest. All I want to do is work, save and head off to college next year. I can't wait to leave this quiet town where everybody knows everybody and in which Samantha Collins' new bird tattoo is the talk of the town.

 _No Thank You._

"So what did you do today?" I ask her.

"Nothing," she lies.

I reach down and pull off her red scarf. "Just as I thought," I whisper. The bright purple fresh love bite is as visible as ever.

"Ugh, Ana," she moans.

"Not Jordan Kate. Tell me it's not Jordan."

She fidgets and I sigh.

"Don't do that Ana," she glares at me. "Your little sighs. We're…working through things. It's different this time."

I don't push her because she'll just get upset. "Okay, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt but if he hurts you again, I'll end him."

She smiles again and we resume our movie.

* * *

The next day, Kate leaves early for work and I go to the gym for an hour or so. Afterwards I come back to shower and have lunch with Jose. I lounge around for the rest of the afternoon, reading Lord of the rings before it's finally time to pick Charlie up. It's a warm day so today, I take him to the park. After that, we do art homework before dinner and then we do crafts until Emma arrives home.

And so the rest of my week continues and I finally start to feel happy and comfortable as I settle into my new role.

On Thursday night, just before I leave, Charlie asks me if we can go in the pool tomorrow. I ask Emma if this is okay at the door before I leave and she assures me it is.

"Charlie knows where all his armbands and things are. He's a good little swimmer. As long as you keep an eye on him, everything will be fine."

"Okay, thank you," I bid her goodnight and on my way home, I think about whether or not I have an appropriate bathing suit to wear.

* * *

 _August 30_ _th_ _2016_

Turns out, I do. It's a plain black one piece that unfortunately shows a little more boob then I would like but it was either this or my see through white bikini.

Charlie is excited about swimming as soon as I pick him up from school.

"I can't wait!" He grins excitedly. "Do you like swimming too Ana?"

"Of course," I reply. "Swimming is the best."

He thoroughly agrees.

Once we arrive back, Charlie changes into his swimming shorts, as do I quickly in the bathroom.

"Charlie, how do you turn this thing up?" I ask him, over by all of the fancy buttons. "We can have it warmer."

He runs over to me and shows me exactly how. "You're the smartest kid I've ever met you know that?" I tell him. He honestly is. He knows how to do things a lot of adults wouldn't.

He gives me a big grin and nods. Once I've adjusted all his armbands, he cannonballs in, splashing me from head to toe.

"Hey!" I squeal.

He giggles. "Come on in Ana, let's have a race!"

"Is it warm yet?" I ask.

"YES!"

So, like Charlie, I do. I jump in and the cold hits my bones.

"It's not warm yet!" I say to Charlie. "Just you wait, I'm going to come and get you."

He laughs, squeals, and takes off as fast as he can go.

We play in the pool for a good while. By the time were ready to get out, it's a lovely warm bath temperature. Just as I'm climbing the little stairs behind Charlie, he shouts loudly.

"DADDY!" He screams.

I look up and find possibly the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my life, slowly walking towards him. He's clad in an expensive navy suit, with the jacket off and top buttons undone and he wraps Charlie in his towel and hugs him close.

"Hi, were you having fun?" He asks him.

His voice is deep and masculine but like honey and velvet. No picture of Mr Grey online could have prepared me for how he looks in person. He's simply stunning.

"Yes, Ana and I played," Charlie answers, turning around and motioning to me.

Mr Grey looks me over now as I'm fully out and walking toward them and I'm desperately wishing I didn't leave my towel on the other side of the room. The bathing suit is clinging everywhere, I can feel it straining against my breasts. I see his eyes linger on them for just a second before they land on my face. _Men will be men_.

He clears his throat. "Ah, yes, Anastasia Steele. Pleasure to meet you," he holds out his hand and I shake it.

"Nice to meet you Mr Grey," I answer politely.

He withdraws his hand and strides off. I watch him as he collects my towel and thrusts it at me. "Please, call me Christian."

I wrap the towel around gracefully and put my hair behind my shoulders.

"Okay, well, I should probably get going," I offer, wanting nothing more than to escape this hazy room where I'm clad in a towel with running makeup standing in front of a gorgeous man.

"You're not staying for dinner?" Charlie pouts.

I go to answer but Christian steps in. "Of course she is," he tells him. "Ana, I'll get Charlie ready and you can sort yourself out. Second floor, there's a guest room with hairdryers and things. We'll all have dinner in half an hour."

I make to answer again but he's already got Charlie in his arms as he strides away.

* * *

In the guest room, that looks like a 5-star hotel room, I breathe deeply as I blow dry my hair. I try to tell myself to get a grip and calm down but I just didn't expect him to be so lovely looking. Sure, I always knew he was hot, but this is another level. And now, I have to eat dinner with him.

After I've finished blow drying my hair, it's falling in loose waves, almost down to my waist. All my makeup came off swimming but in the drawers, there's a new tube of YSL mascara which I help myself too and apply generously to my lashes. Feeling that will do, I nervously walk back down into the kitchen.

Christian and Charlie are already sitting, sipping water and Charlie smiles when he sees me. He pats the seat next to him.

"Dad isn't Ana's hair nice?" He asks Christian randomly.

Mr Grey looks me over again and nods. "Yes," he agrees. "Her hair is very nice. Take a seat Ana, Gail's making lasagna."

I blush.

"Lasagna is my favourite," Charlie tells me. "And ice cream," he whispers.

I giggle. I love this kid already.

Dinner is delicious and thankfully, Charlie talks enough for ten people. After, Charlie goes to play with his Lego and I'm left alone with Christian at the table. He stands up and fetches a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Would you like a glass?" He asks.

"I'm eighteen," I tell him, trying to be the upper most law abiding citizen.

"I know," he smiles. "It's just one glass."

I nod. "Okay."

He pours two glasses slowly. I watch him carefully. His watch is gleaming from his wrist and his shirt is untucked and unbuttoned. If ever a man had looked so good pouring wine, I'd like to know about it. He pushes the glass toward me and I take a sip. He stands opposite me, leaning over the table.

"Tastes expensive," I murmur.

He chuckles. "Charlie's been telling me all about you," he says. "Ana this, Ana that, I guess now I can see why he likes you so much."

I try not to blush again. "Thank you," I smile. "He's a really great kid."

He nods. "So, tell me, what are you planning on studying at college next year?"

"English literature," I reply, taking another sip.

"Yeah?" He raises his eyebrows, impressed. "You like literature? What's your favorite book?"

"I love Jane Eyre," I confess.

"Great choice," he grins. He takes a seat opposite me. "Reminds me of beauty and the beast."

"I get where you're coming from but I have to disagree. I find them to be both quite beast like. Jane and Mr Rochester were both quite ghastly and unloved weren't they? I guess that's why I love it so much. It's unconventional and perhaps much more realistic."

"Hmm, I see what you mean," he says. "Unconventional has always been my thing. What's your favourite contemporary?"

"Oh, the Great Gatsby or Lolita," I reply automatically.

"Fancy yourself quite the Daisy Buchanan?" He asks with a smirk.

I giggle and take another sip. "No, but you remind me of Gatsby."

He smirks again. "Lolita though," he says thoughtfully. "Unconventional again. A very controversial read."

"That's why I like it. The subject matter is definitely a debate but the writing style is beautiful."

"Is that what you'd like to be? A writer?" He asks gently.

"Yes, I suppose I do. But I also love teaching."

"Well, here's to being both," he raises his glass and we click them together.

I'm very surprised by just how easy it is talking to Mr Grey. It's crazy, I always assumed he'd be much harder to converse with. We talk about books all evening until we hear the door open. Christian slowly rises to his feet and I hear heels tapping across the foyer. Mrs Grey shrugs out of her coat and her eyes land on me, and then on the wine glasses.

"Anastasia, what are you still doing here?" She asks bluntly. She does not look happy.

I look over to Christian, waiting for him to explain but she doesn't even give him the chance.

"Your job description says nothing about staying over hours and drinking my wine when one of us is home. As soon as either of us get home that is your que to leave. I don't want this to happen again, understand?"

I nod.

"Emma-" Christian starts but she doesn't listen.

"You may leave now, I'll see you on Monday, thank you."

I practically sprint to the door and I hear Charlie run after me. "Aren't you staying for movie night?" He says sadly.

"No buddy," I tell him, putting on my coat and shoes. "I'm only supposed to stay until your parents are home but I'll see you on Monday again and we'll go for frozen yogurt."

He grins up at me and wraps his arms around my waist. I ruffle his hair.

"Bye Ana," he murmurs.

"Bye honey," and with that, I'm out the door.

* * *

 **Please Review xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

_August 30_ _th_ _2016_

By the time I arrive home, I already feel exhausted. I'm tempted to call Kate and Jose to cancel tonight's plans to go to _Oceania_ but I decide against it. Ray's out on a date night and I may as well make use of it. After a quick shower, they arrive. As were all getting ready, I tell them about Mr Grey and Emma.

"What a bitch," Kate scoffs, almost poking her eyes out with eyeliner.

"Totally jealous," Jose agrees.

"I have no idea why," I say, perplexed as I brush my hair. "We were literally just talking about books and Charlie. I look after his child five days a week; I'm supposed to know his parents."

"Annie you're so naïve," Jose comments. He's in the middle of straightening his hair. "Of course she's jealous. You're a beautiful eighteen-year-old sitting in her kitchen with her husband drinking wine and chatting."

"It's silly though, irrational."

He just shrugs. "People can be territorial."

* * *

We all finish getting ready and then we're off. Ethan, Kate's older brother drops us. "Do you have your ID'S?" He asks, checking.

We all check our purses. My ID is there, reading 21. Ethan had them made for us a few months ago when we finished school but we only ever really go to Oceania with it on Friday nights.

Once we're all in and breathing sighs of relief that our ID was accepted, we're able to enjoy ourselves. Oceania is an upper class bar, _not_ a club, and Jose likes to come here to try and meet sophisticated guys who want a meaningful relationship. Kate and I like the expensive décor, amazing cocktails and pretending we're rich elegant older women. Jose spots a young attractive guy immediately and makes a beeline with us giving him the thumbs up.

"Raspberry mojito's?" Kate smiles.

"Of course!"

We order four and sit at the bar, sipping and chatting.

"Maybe we should guy hunt for you tonight," she says, eyeing some men that come up to the bar.

I shake my head no and take a long sip of my drink.

"Ooo, that ones hot and he's looking right at you!" She gestures towards a tall blonde guy who is indeed staring.

"Kate, stop," I force her gaze. "I don't want to."

She rolls her eyes but doesn't push it.

After our cocktails are finished, Kate orders a bottle of red wine and we take it over to the booth to get away from the men.

"It's you in that skirt," I say as we settle in.

"Pftt, what about yours?" She dismisses.

I stare down at my dress. True, it's quite short, but it's still modest and tasteful. It's lace black and strapless. I like it very much. As we sip the wine, I feel it going to my head. Wine always does this to me.

"So many hot guys look at you Ana and you ignore them all," Kate says, through a long sip.

I shrug. "I'm just not interested."

"Are you a lesbian?" She asks bluntly.

I just stare at her. " _No_ , and you know I'm not. I'm just not interested in any of the guys I meet."

"You're so fussy. You're going to be a virgin forever."

I laugh. "Maybe. At least I won't ever catch anything."

She laughs and we finish our wine. After that, Jose pulls us over to dance and meet the guy he's been talking to all night. He's tall, black, and extremely good looking. I have a feeling Jose won't be coming back with us tonight.

As we dance and Kate flirts with a guy and Jose is kissing his, I'm completely aware of how different I am from my best friends. It doesn't bother me very much, only at certain times. Perhaps at this time, when I'm explicitly aware at how inexperienced I am with the opposite sex. I've kissed boys at prom and been on dates and dances but nothing else yet. I'm not sure why it hasn't worked out for me yet, I just haven't met the right guy. I am only eighteen but when Kate and Jose push the subject, it can make me feel a little insecure. I tell them I'm going to order another drink and I do. I order another large glass of wine and sip it whilst sat the bar. I've gone past the point of tipsy now and I'm feeling drunk but the wine tastes very very good.

"Want another one?" The barman asks me with a smile. He's short with greasy hair. "This ones on me."

I shake my head. "I've had way too much," I say, in a high pitched voice. Eek.

He chuckles and then talks to somebody behind me.

"What can I get you sir?" He asks.

"Can I please get a bottle of wine, white please," a deep voice responds and I almost freeze. It's the same voice that had a two-hour conversation with me earlier on about books.

Mr Grey is here and he's standing right behind me. I stay rooted to my seat, praying as hard as I can. _Please turn back please turn back_ I chant. He doesn't. He moves in closer so that he's right at the bar, and right next to me. He's so close I can taste his aftershave on my tongue. I can feel his body weight next to me as he waits for his drinks. Eventually of course, he notices me.

"Anastasia?" He asks.

Trying my best to look sober, I turn around to face him.

"Oh, hi Mr Grey," I say a little louder than intended and oh my, he looks every bit as good as he did earlier. He's wearing a pale blue shirt and jeans. Smart casual and he looks absolutely divine. I've never seen a man look so good and I just can't stop staring at him. He frowns.

"Are you drunk?" He asks. "How did you even get in here? Where are your friends?"

"One question at a time Mr Grey," I remind him. Act sober, act sober. "I'm not drunk no, um, my friend knows the manager and they're over there," I point lazily over to where Jose and Kate were last standing. "Where's Charlie?" I ask him, "where's Emma?" Why's he all alone at a bar?

"Charlie's with my parents and Emma's in the bathroom," he replies. "It's date night and I don't think she'll take too kindly to you being here Anastasia."

Oh. I should have figured. Date night. For some reason, I feel myself going red.

"I'm allowed to do as I please on the weekend," I say indignantly.

To my surprise, he actually chuckles. "Oh you have fire, I like that. But you _are_ underage and I'd hate for her to use that against you in anyway," he adds seriously.

I turn away, back to the bar and finish my drink quickly. After that, I get up.

"Well, I'll be on my way," I reply. "Don't worry, I wouldn't want to ruin _date night_."

I storm over to Kate and all but grab her by the arm.

"Ana what the hell," she cries indignantly.

"My bosses are here," I explain. "And we're all underage so we're leaving."

"Alright," she replies moodily.

I turn to face Jose. "Are you coming or are you going home with him?" I ask.

He looks first at me and then at the guy.

"Okay, fine," I say, haughtily, storming off at top speed. I need to get out of here. Once in the fresh air I feel a little better and I hear both sets of footsteps behind me. Jose and Kate are both behind me and with that, we call Ethan and I head home, feeling humiliated by the Grey's for the second time today, sick, and tired.

* * *

Tonight, we head back to Kate's and after throwing up twice, and changing into Kate's favourite pajamas, I finally fall into a dark and dreamless sleep.

Later today, I wake up around noon with a slight headache and a super dry throat. This is the last time I'm drinking I tell myself. Kate and Jose are still asleep and I tiptoe around them and down to the kitchen. I'm pouring myself a glass of water and almost jump out of my skin when someone clears their throat behind me. It's Ethan.

"Shit, _Ethan_ ," I say, glaring at him. He chuckles.

"Wild night?" He asks, placing two pieces of toast in the toaster.

"No," I say, sitting down at the breakfast bar and drinking my water. "I saw my boss out and he pretty much told me to go home."

He grimaces. "Ouch. Guess that happens when you're underage."

"Shut up, you got us the ID'S!"

He chuckles again and the toast pops up. He spreads a liberal amount of Nutella on each and passes me one.

"Thanks," I say, taking a bite.

"I'll take you all somewhere new next time," he promises.

"Thanks but no thanks. I think I'm going to be steering clear from all kinds of bars from now on."

He just smirks.

I pop up off the chair and make my way upstairs.

The rest of the weekend goes by quickly. We relax for the rest of Saturday, painting nails, watching movies and chatting and I spend Sunday with Ray. I clean my bedroom and bathroom, make dinner and we watch the football game together before I call it a night by sinking into a deep bubble bath full of lavender crystals and bath salts. I have work tomorrow and I'm praying I don't see Mr Grey again. The last thing I want is to give Emma a reason to fire me. I love this job and more importantly, I love Charlie and I'll be devastated if I have to leave. So if that means I have to play by the rules, then so I shall.

* * *

 _9_ _th_ _September 2016_

The week goes by smoothly. Each day around seven, Emma comes home and I leave straight away. I don't see Mr Grey and I bond even more with Charlie. It's now Monday again and we're in his playroom playing cars after a wonderful dinner of spaghetti.

"I miss daddy today," he says sadly, driving his red car along the carpet with little enthusiasm.

"I'm sure you'll see him today, when he comes home," I tell him.

"Every time he came home I was asleep," he pouts.

I feel so sorry for him. It must be so hard to have two parents you hardly see.

"You always see your mom though," I offer.

"I go to bed when you go." He looks up at me. "Will you not go today? Will you put me to bed?"

My heart breaks. "I won't be able to do that buddy but how about we go and make a cake instead?"

His little face lights up like a star. "I can make a cake?"

"Yes," I nod. "Come on!"

I hold his hand and we venture off to make a cake.

* * *

Around an hour later, Charlie is covered in cake and chocolate, the kitchen is a mess and there's an enormous cake baking in the oven.

"This is so much fun," he exclaims excitedly. "I never do this."

"Well, that's what I'm here for," I smile. "To have fun with you. Now come here, let me wipe some of that of your face."

I've just finished de-caking Charlie's face, when the door opens. I'm waiting for the sound of clicking heels walking across the marble floor but I hear nothing. Charlie runs.

"Daddy! Ana and I made a cake come and look!" He shouts.

I feel myself tense and Charlie comes back in, dragging Mr Grey all the way over to the oven.

"Wow, that looks great. Can't wait to taste it," Christian says, shrugging off his jacket.

"Well, Charlie, I best be going," I announce.

"Ana the cake isn't finished you haven't tried it!" He cries.

"Ana, stay and have some cake," Christian says, staring at me.

"I'm meant to go," I reply awkwardly. "Mrs Grey made it very clear."

"Well _Mr_ Grey is making it un-clear. I'm in charge," he adds pointedly. He takes a seat at the bar. "Emma's out tonight anyway. It's just us bud," he says, ruffling Charlie's hair.

"YAY! That means I go to bed later!" He spins around happily and Christian and I both laugh.

The Cake's done five minutes later and I take it out of the oven. Charlie tells Christian all about his day while I wait for it to cool. As it does, I cut three slices and place them onto little plates. I sit opposite them and we take a bite.

"This is the best cake I've ever eaten in my life," Charlie insists, shoving more of it into his mouth.

I have to agree. It is pretty good. I watch as Christian takes a bite and I'm surprised when he actually closes his eyes in pleasure.

"You're right," he says to Charlie. "This is the best cake I've ever eaten too."

I feel myself blushing and I stare down at the cake. I feel his eyes on me and it's like they're burning through my skin. After we've finished the rest of the cake, I make to leave. Truth be told, I'm still scared that there is a chance Emma walks through the door.

"Ana don't go," Charlie pleads.

"I have to. You should spend some time with your daddy." I tell him.

"I think there's room for one more," Mr Grey says, standing up now. "May as well make an evening of it."

"I can't-" but he cuts me off.

"I insist," he interrupts. "Come on Charlie, what do you want to do?"

 _Great._

* * *

 **A/N QUESTIONS: Few questions I thought i'd address. Firstly, there's been a few questions about whether Charlie is Christian's because of eye colour. Charlie's eyes are green and Christian's are a mixture of green and grey (Ana will describe them soon when her and Mr Grey get a little um..closer but I guess you can't wait that long!) so yes Charlie IS definitely Christian's child! 2nd Question is about Christian POV. There's no plans for one as of right now, i've already pre-written a lot of the story but if the need arises then definitely. I usually do a couple in each story I write so most likely. I know you want to find out about his backstory but were only 3 chapters in and he'll divulge all to Ana in due time. Thanks so much and please review for these very regular updates xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

9th September 2016

It turns out that Charlie wants to play with his plasticine and so we sit on the floor and make miniature dinosaurs and pretend food until he gets tired. Then he falls asleep on Christian's lap watching _cars_ and he quickly carries him up to bed.

I get to my feet instantly. It's one thing to stay with Mr Grey while Charlie's still here but a whole other thing entirely when it's just us alone. As I'm slipping on my shoes, he comes running down the stairs.

"Leaving?" He asks.

I nod. "Charlie's asleep so..."

"Well," he says somewhat hesitantly and I look up at him. For once, he looks a little awkward and I'm intrigued.

"Well?" I finish.

"Well I thought you might like a glass of wine and we could have some more of that cake. Have a chat for a little while."

"We all know what happened last time you saw me having a drink," I say pointedly.

He looks at me apologetically. "I wanted to apologise about that but at the time I was worried and it came out wrong. I didn't want Emma to see you."

"Yet you want to risk her seeing me now? Drinking wine again with her husband."

He nods and puts his hands up. "No, yes, you're right. It's probably better if you do go, forgive me."

I stare at him feeling thoroughly confused.

"I trust you can see yourself out," he offers, and with that he turns his back and heads toward the stairs.

I stare at his stupid back for a moment before I storm off, feeling confused and very _very_ irritated.

* * *

10th September 2016

Hooray. It's my birthday, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I've got work of course but since that isn't until three and it's currently nine am, I've got six hours of birthday bliss to kill.

I head downstairs where Ray is still finishing off his oatmeal. He gets to his feet immediately and hands me a card. "Happy birthday Ana," he says, giving me a hug.

I open the card. I have a nail appointment gift card at the salon in town and $300.

"Oh! Thank you dad," I say, hugging him again.

"Don't mention it. I'm sorry I've got work but you'll be celebrating with Kate and Jose right? And maybe we can do something on the weekend."

I nod. "The weekend sounds great."

After Ray leaves, I quickly go upstairs to get ready for the day and in about half an hour, Kate and Jose burst through the door holding balloons and parcels.

"Happy birthday!" They shout in unison.

They usher me into the living room and bombard me with their gifts.

"Open mine first," Jose insists.

I do. He's got me the new YSL perfume, some pretty hoop earrings and a pair of black stockings. Kate has gotten me a red lacy Victoria secret lingerie set, an assortment of too faced makeup and a hard back old edition copy of Gatsby.

"Is there a theme to all of this?" I ask, as I admire the stockings.

"It's the losing your virginity kit," Jose giggles.

I glare as I toss the stockings at him.

"I'll lose it when I'm ready," I insist.

Kate suppresses her giggles and stands up throwing her hands in the air.

"Come on Ana," she says, pulling me up. "We booked a birthday breakfast for you."

"And a little party," Jose says. "For after work."

They both then pull me close and hug me tightly.

"We love you Ana," Kate whispers. "Don't take anything too seriously, you know we're only joking. Now come on, pancakes are waiting!"

* * *

And so along with my two best friends, I have a very enjoyable birthday breakfast at the pancake factory.

The pancake factory is a little place we've been visiting ever since we were all little and it's nice to be back. They buy me a triple chocolate banana pancake tower and I can't even manage half of it. Afterwards, I go to get my nails done, choosing a pale pink colour. Once that's done, it's time for work. I say goodbye to Kate and Jose, who promise to be round later and head on over to pick Charlie up.

As soon as Charlie sees me he runs straight into my arms waving a big card.

"Happy birthday Ana!" He says excitedly as I hug him. He passes me the card and I see that he's made it himself at school. It's blue and pink with hearts and rainbows on. My eyes tear up at just how cute he is.

"Thank you honey," I tell him. "But how did you know it was my birthday?" I don't remember telling him, or anyone for that matter. Nineteen's not really that big of a deal and I've never been a huge birthday celebrator.

"Daddy told me," he grins. "We're making you a surprise!"

I hold his hand and we walk back to the car while I ponder this new revelation. Mr Grey clearly looked through my files and observed that it was my birthday. Then, he told Charlie about it and wants to surprise me? Even after last night? I'm so puzzled.

Once we get in, Charlie runs upstairs to get changed and we resume our usual routine of playing. Around 5:30 is when we usually have dinner but Charlie tells me were not having 'normal' dinner today. I wonder what on earth he's on about but at around quarter to six, Christian comes in through the door, carrying an enormous birthday cake and a lilac balloon which reads 19. I immediately flush red from head to toe and try my best to avert my eyes.

"Happy birthday Ana," he says as he lays the things on the table. "Come on Charlie! Ana, go out of the room a second please."

I hurry back into the lounge and nervously anticipate this. Before long, I'm called back by Charlie and the cake is an enormous three tiered white and cream one with pink roses and my name engraved in beautiful writing. I'm genuinely in shock.

"One layer peanut butter, one chocolate and one strawberry and vanilla. All your favourites as Charlie informs me," Mr Grey smiles. "Go on, blow out the candles and make a wish."

I do and they both clap. "Can we have a piece?" Charlie asks me.

"We'll have dinner first, Thai food's your favourite right Ana?"

"Oh, no it's okay-" I pause when I look at Charlie's hopeful little face. I know Emma told me to leave as soon as Christian gets home but…I just can't. Not after all this. "Yeah, it's my favourite," I finally smile.

* * *

After a delicious Thai takeout with all my favourite things, we cut the cake and each take big slices. I use the opportunity of Charlie being distracted by the yummy treat to stand a little closer to Mr Grey.

"So is all of this from Charlie…or from you?" I ask quietly.

He finishes cutting the last slice and slides it across.

"Both," he says, finally turning toward me. "Charlie because he loves you and me because I'm very grateful for you taking care of my son and making him happy when his parents can't. Also, I'm sorry about yesterday and the weekend."

"I forgive you," I say softly. "This was amazing, thank you."

He smiles down at me and once again I'm in awe of how beautiful he is. Without thinking I touch his hand as a thank you gesture. His fingertips instantly lock around mine and I look down at the table, our hands intertwined. I feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"Ana have you tried it?" Charlie's voice breaks through the moment and immediately I pull my hand away and pick up the fork.

My mouth's dry as I chew the cake.

Christian puts Charlie to bed about half an hour later. It's almost half past seven now and I should get going.

"Birthday plans?" Christian asks, as he comes down the stairs.

I nod as I slip on my shoes. "My two best friends are taking me out. And no, not to a bar," I say pointedly.

He chuckles.

"I have something for you," he says thoughtfully after a moment.

Before I can say anything, he retrieves a small box from his pocket labelled _Tiffany._

My mouth opens wide.

"It's a thank you present, again, for Charlie. You've made him so happy." He says in confirmation.

"I can't accept this," I shake my head. "It's too much."

"Please," he closes my hand around the box. "Now, I hope you have a wonderful birthday evening and I'll see you tomorrow," he says kindly to me.

I slip the gift into my own pocket, trying to find words. "Thank you," I whisper. "I…just… _thank you_."

* * *

I'm still in a daze as Kate curls my hair and Jose gushes over Mr Grey's present, which turns out to be a beautiful silver necklace with little emeralds around a stone.

"That's a bit much isn't it?" Kate says sceptically as Jose fondles the glitzy new treasure.

I nod and Jose scowls at her. "No it isn't, it's beautiful."

"Yeah, but she's just his son's babysitter _and_ he already got her a cake and takeout. Google how much that necklace costs," she insists.

"No, don't, please," I beg. "It's tacky and I'd rather not know."

"He must really like you Ana," Jose comments, placing it back in its box.

"He's confusing," I admit. "Sometimes I feel as if he likes me, sometimes I feel as if he doesn't."

"He's conflicted," Kate informs me, setting down the curler and running her fingers through my hair to separate the curls. "He's married, yet he feels attracted to you."

I shake my head but I wonder, _could_ this be true? Could Mr Grey be attracted to me? I'm _certainly_ attracted to him.

"Not that you can do anything about any of this of course," she continues, coming around to face me and admire her handiwork. "He's a married man."

"What are you…you're not insinuating I'd do anything…?" I say, appalled.

She shrugs and Jose rolls his eyes. "She's not _you_ Kate, Ana would never go after a married man."

"I'd never," I say, horrified. "I could never intentionally do that to somebody."

"We know Ana," Jose comforts me. "Now, hurry up and get ready. We've got a party to attend!"

* * *

My 19th birthday party is held at Kate's lavish house with all our high school friends, Ethan's friends and Kate's family members. Everyone's drinking punch and posing for pictures before we start to dance and mingle. Lights are strung everywhere and we're even equipped with a hot tub. Afterwards, later on, we strip down into bikini's (mine, aqua blue) and head for the warm water.

All in all, the party is a success and I end up having a really great time.

It's almost three thirty in the morning now and everyone has gone home except the three of us. Jose lays on the floor of Kate's room while we lay in bed and divulge all our secrets.

Kate's first. She tells us all about Jordan who she has been in an on-and-off relationship with since she was fourteen years old. He's cheated on her multiple times and vice versa. They've also called it off more times than I change my clothes but they _always_ go back to each other. It's toxic really but until she finds the right person, she'll never move on. Right now, their relationship seems to be _on_.

"He's changed," she says dreamily, staring at the ceiling. "I can really see it this time, you know?"

"We _don't_ know," Jose scoffs. "Bore off Kate, we all hate Jordan," (this is true) "my new guy Mario is _gorgeous_ and he's a killer in bed." He adds.

Kate and I both gasp. She throws a pillow at his head. "Jose you're such a whore. You literally just met him."

He shrugs and chuckles. "What about you Ana? Screwing your boss yet?" He says jokingly.

I flush brightly as for the first time, that image enters my head.

"Don't be stupid," I say.

"If my boss was Christian Grey, CEO billionaire, _I_ would."

"You'd screw anything with a pulse, so that's not saying much," Kate argues. "But on a serious note Ana banana, are you interested in him?" She asks, turning toward me and squeezing my heart in the darkness.

I immediately go to answer no but a voice at the back of my head whispers _that's a lie_ to me. It's a lie I've been telling myself ever since I laid eyes on him. And because I'm feeling slightly tipsy, I decide to divulge my biggest secret to my bestest friends.

"I am," I whisper. "I know how wrong it is, but I _am_."

* * *

 **Please Review xox**


	5. Chapter 5

_Saturday 21st September_

It's been a very long week and a half and I'm thoroughly delighted to be laying in bed right now, enjoying the morning sunlight playing on my face with no plans and obligations for the evening.

I've been working overtime all week. With Christian being away in New York for work, and Emma coming home at almost nine each night, I've been drained. I've had to put Charlie to bed and as soon as I've arrived home, myself to bed. It's been long and I'm glad for the weekend.

Around 10, I clamber out of bed to make myself a bowl of cinnamon crunch while watching crappy TV. I'm extremely surprised when my phone rings from an unknown number. I turn down the TV.

"Hello," I answer hesitantly.

"Ana?" It's Christian. I can tell immediately, just from one word. "Hi it's me."

"Oh, um, hi," I say, a little confused. Why is Mr Grey calling me at 10 am on a Saturday morning?

"Emma's away this weekend and I'm taking Charlie out for the day to the zoo. He's been wanting to go for ages and if you're not doing anything, we're wondering whether you'd like to come with us?" His voice is so silky smooth, I have a hard time concentrating.

I sit up. "Uh, you want me to come with you on your day out? I don't think Emma-"

He cuts me off. "I'm in charge too Ana. I have a say and Charlie wants you here. It's just the zoo."

I'm silent for a few seconds. "Okay," I finally relent.

"Fantastic," I can hear the smile through voice. "I'll pick you up in half an hour."

I'm about to ask if he knows where I live but the line goes dead. I realise he probably has read all my files anyhow and so I sprint upstairs to get ready. I leave my hair down in waves and put on my favourite pair of blue skinny jeans and a cropped pale blue jumper with converse. Casual but stylish.

At just after half past ten, Christian's car arrives outside and I quickly lock my door and exit. Both Mr Grey and Charlie smile at me from their seats in the car. I sit in the passenger seat next to Christian and I can smell his signature scent. It's been a while since I've seen him and it feels nice to see him again.

"Hi Ana!" Charlie says happily from back seat "we're going to the zoo!"

"I know," I grin, turning to look at him. "Are you excited?"

He nods.

Christian reaches out suddenly and fingers the necklace on my neck. I stare at him as our eyes lock.

"You have on the necklace I bought," he acknowledges.

I nod wordlessly.

"It looks beautiful."

"Thank you," I murmur. "It is beautiful."

We stare at each-other for a few more seconds before he shakes his head and starts the car.

"Right, off to the zoo," he announces. "Let's go."

* * *

It's a tense drive. My body's feeling all tingly for some unknown reason and I keep on looking out of the window to prevent myself looking at him. Charlie talks about all the animals he'd like to see and it's nice to watch the two of them interact. It's clear he loves his dad very much, and vice versa despite not seeing much of one another. When we arrive, it feels good to get out of the car and into the fresh air. Charlie is immediately at my side and reaches up for my hand. Christian smiles as he watches us and I notice how amazing he looks today. He's wearing a grey v neck sweater with jeans and his hair is tousled. He looks so damn good I'm having a hard time concentrating. _This is going to be a very long day_.

We spend the rest of the morning on a guided tour which is actually really interesting. We learn all about the animals and Charlie has a wonderful time taking pictures of the reptiles and the lions with his little camera. We get to hold a few birds which is great and he's grinning from ear to ear the entire day. It's so nice to see him happy. We have some lunch at the cafe and then see the offers feeding hour. All in all, it's a successful day and afterwards we head back to Christian's. I pretty much spend the whole day and evening with them and we have pizza for dinner before watching one of Charlie's favorites, _frozen._ Bless his heart, he ends up falling asleep half way through and Christian carries him upstairs to bed. For once, I don't make an beeline for the door and I wait for him to come back. I'm aware that I'm crossing a line and Emma would probably get rid of me if she knew, but I'm only spending time with them. I'm doing nothing wrong.

He comes back wearing a big smile and sits down next to me on the couch. "I'm surprised you're not putting your shoes on already," he smirks.

"Shut up," I say, rolling my eyes.

He chuckles and reaches for the remote to turn Frozen off. "Thought you'd have wanted to watch the rest," I smirk.

"More of a thriller fan if I must say so myself," he smirks back.

"Oh yeah?" I say, interested. "What's your favourite?"

"Big fan of the classics," he admits. "Silence of the lambs, psycho. Though I do have a thing for Gone Girl too."

"I love that film!" I say, probably a little too enthusiastically. "Thrillers are one of my favorites. Have you read the gone girl book? It's honestly even better."

"I'm embarrassed to say I haven't but I definitely will do now. Perhaps you can borrow it me."

"I'd love to," I grin.

"Would you like anything?" He asks gently. "Wine? Tea?"

"Tea would be nice," I say, bringing my knees up to my chest.

He disappears into the kitchen, coming back five minutes later with a steaming mug of tea.

"English breakfast, your favorite," he notes, placing it in my hands.

I take a sip. "How did you know it was my favorite?" I ask.

"I've seen you having it in the evening," he says and it touches me that he bothers to notice these little observations.

"It's good," I tell him.

He just smiles. "Thank you for coming today," he says after a few moments.

"I had a great time," I admit.

"As did I," he confirms. "And before it gets to the end of the night and I regret not saying it, you look beautiful today."

I can't help but blush. _Is he flirting with me?_ I take another sip of tea to cover it. "Thank you," I finally say.

"How have you been?" He asks. "It's been a while since I've seen you, which is another reason I asked you to come today."

"I've been okay," I tell him. "It's been a long week."

He nods in understanding. "I know, Emma's been working a lot and I've been away with work meetings. It's been hectic to say the least."

"You work hard," I note. "I don't know how you do it."

He chuckles. "I love what I do honestly, the only thing that's an issue is leaving Charlie alone but I don't worry about that half as much anymore. Not now he has you," he says pointedly.

I flush again and I can't help it anymore. I move slightly closer to him, so that he's just within reach.

"I missed you this week," I confess, staring down into my tea. I immediately regret saying it. I know I'm crossing many lines but I'm afraid I won't see him again for a while and I won't get another chance.

"I missed you too," he says, tilting my chin back up with his finger. I shiver from his touch. "As I said, it's been a very long week."

I can't help the smile that escapes me. _He missed me too_.

"I'm glad you're back," I continue.

"I'm glad to be back." He leans back into the couch, getting himself comfortable.

I've never been interested in a guy before but as I stare at Christian, the realization that he's not a guy dawns on me. He's nothing but pure _man_ and I just want to climb all over him. The knowledge that I can't is devastating. I've _never_ felt this way before.

"So," he says. "How was your birthday?"

"It was good. My friends threw me a party."

"That's nice of them. They sound like good friends."

"They're the best," I tell him. "They're the ones I was with when I was out at the bar. Kate and Jose."

"Any boyfriend?" He asks casually.

"No," I feel myself getting hot. "I just…haven't found the right person yet."

"I bet there's a whole que of guys waiting to take you out," he says.

I laugh nervously and take another gulp of tea.

"What is it you look for?" He says after a while.

"Passion," I say instantly. "A _connection_ , you know? It's important we connect. Have things in common, have the same interests. Somebody that makes me feel alive." _Like you_.

"I hope you find that," he replies quietly.

I take the last sip of tea, eyes still locked with his and place the mug down on the coffee table.

"So do I," I whisper.

And then he moves closer, so close I can taste his scent on my tongue. I want to kiss him so badly.

"Close your eyes," he whispers. I do instantly. I feel as if I'm in a dream and none of this is real. Surely this can't be real.

"Is this okay?" He asks. "I don't want to do anything-"

"It's okay," I say quietly, cutting him off. I reach for his hand and then his lips are on mine and _I'm on fire._ They're soft, so soft, but firm and molded perfectly to mine. He dominates the kiss and I just melt into it. I let a sigh escape into his mouth which opens the kiss and suddenly his tongue is caressing me. It's so _so_ wrong but it feels so right and so good. I could cry. We kiss until I breakaway so I can breathe. As we part, we stare into each other's eyes and the realization of what we've just done finally washes over me.

 _What have I just done? This isn't me._ He's a married man with a family for crying out loud. This is completely unacceptable. Christian clears his throat and looks away. I can see the regret written over his face as I do the same. The spell is broken and I get to my feet. I have no idea what to say and so I refrain from trying to come up with a speech I know I can't finish.

"I should go," I say, my voice breaking.

He nods once. "I should check on Charlie." He gets to his feet and places his hands in his pockets. "I'll, I'll see you on Monday."

I nod, "yeah," and dart for the door.

* * *

 **please review!xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

_Saturday 21_ _st_ _September 2016_

I'm in a daze as I sit on the front of the Grey's doorstep and message Kate to come and get me. What just happened? Suddenly my phone rings and it's Christian. I don't answer. I _can't_. A text message quickly follows.

 _I'm so sorry I forgot. Do you need a lift? How are you getting home?_

He must know I'm sat outside. My heart skips a beat at his thoughtfulness but I text him back quickly.

 _It's okay. Kate's getting me. Thank you though._

I place my phone back in my pocket and Kate and Jose pick me up ten minutes later. Soon, we're all home and in my bedroom.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KISSED HIM," Kate screams dramatically.

"Be quiet," I hiss. "My dad's downstairs, and it wasn't _just_ me. It was him also."

"Ana, that's so bad," she says quietly.

"I know." My head is in my hands.

"At least you know he likes you now," Jose says matter-of-factly. I look up at him through my hands to see him shrugging.

"I can't believe you just said that," I sigh.

"What? It's true and you know it. You wanted to know whether you he liked you, don't lie," he says pointedly.

I go to argue but I'm finding I can't. He's right. it's true. This _is_ my fault, I invited him in.

"Was it good?" He asks after a few moments.

Despite what I'm feeling, I can't help but giggle. It's just so _Jose_. He's so carefree.

"It was the best," I confess.

"Of course it was," Kate rolls her eyes. "You've only ever kissed like two guys and they weren't proper kisses."

"Shut up," I glare at her.

"He's so hot. You're so lucky Ana," Jose sighs longingly.

"She isn't," Kate snaps at him. "He's a married billionaire with a child. What was he thinking?"

"Still hot," Jose insists. "It was one kiss, big deal. You act like they fucked."

"Just stop," I hold my hand up. "I can't talk about this anymore."

I walk out of my bedroom and downstairs. If I think any more about this, I feel as if I'll explode.

* * *

Things are more relaxed once we're downstairs. We put on a movie and soon, Jose's fast asleep.

"Are you okay?" Kate whispers in the dark, once the film has finished.

"I don't know," I tell her honestly.

"Just, try not to worry about it," she says. "Jose was right in a way, although tactless. It was only one kiss. As long as nothing else happens, everything will be fine."

"I've never been this attracted to somebody before," I confess quietly. "It's overwhelming and it _isn't_ just because of his looks. It's _everything_. We have the same interests; we just seem to _understand_ each other."

She looks at me seriously then, straight into my eyes. "Ana, _nothing_ can happen," she finally says.

And it hurts, but I know she's right. I look away.

She's absolutely right.

* * *

 _Monday 23_ _rd_ _September 2016_

For the entire weekend, all I've been able to think about is Christian, and his soft lips pressed against mine. It's an image I don't think I will ever be able to erase.

As I get ready to pick up Charlie, my heart cannot stop racing at the prospect of seeing him later. I don't know what will happen and I have no idea what to say. I know what I _should_ say and I know what I _want_ to say. They're completely different things and I have to pick the right one.

Charlie's happy to see me at the school gates and we play tennis outside in the grey's yard today. Or better said, _land_. We have a blast and afterwards we come inside and work on Charlie's art homework.

"You're good at art Ana," Charlie exclaims. I look over at him, paint splatters on his t-shirt and furiously colouring in a green tree.

"So are you," I smile. "That tree is fantastic."

"I can't wait to show daddy, he likes painting too," he grins.

"Really?" I ask, my ears perking up.

Charlie nods. "He paints in the art room upstairs."

"That's great," I say honestly. I had no idea. The thought of Christian painting, brush in one hand, face with sheer determination fills me with a light and airy feeling of joy. I wonder to myself what kind of things he paints, what kind of things captivate and inspire him. It's enthralling to think about and I find myself desperate to see his art.

But shortly after dinner, Emma comes home first, and to say I'm disappointed is an understatement. She wraps Charlie in a tight hug.

"Hi sweetie, why don't you go and pick out a movie while I speak to Ana?"

I feel my insides freeze. _What's going on? Does she know? Did Christian tell her?_

"I don't have to go to bed?" Charlie asks with a big smile.

She shakes her head. "Nope. Movie night with mommy. Go pick one quickly."

He dashes off and she unbuttons her coat as she addresses me.

"I understand you went to the zoo over the weekend with Charlie and Mr Grey," she says without looking at me. She throws her coat over the chair and slips out of her six-inch heels.

 _Shit._

"Mr Grey asked me to come," I tell her honestly.

"Oh I know," she says with a smile. "Don't worry darling he told me all about it." She shrugs. "It's okay though, honestly. Christian often struggles by himself with Charlie, _bless_. He can be quite demanding at times. Asking the babysitter to come along helped him out so _thank_ _you_ , although try not to make a habit out of it. Christian does want alone time with Charlie and he won't want you tagging along all the time."

I don't answer. I don't know what she wants me to say. I feel as though she's talking about a different Charlie and a different Christian. Charlie is the least demanding child I know and Christian looks after him perfectly fine. But I guess she would know best… I feel a cold feeling run through me. It hurts. She stares at me for a moment, waiting for me to respond, and then we're interrupted by the door opening. Christian strides over and Emma turns to face him.

"Hi darling," she says softly. She runs her hand across his shirt and leans up to kiss him. He reciprocates and I turn my eyes away. I feel sick. How can he just kiss her like that in front of me? How can he use those same lips he used on me with her?

"What's going on?" He asks, moving slightly away from her now.

"Nothing," she smiles again. "I was just thanking Ana for helping out on Saturday." She touches him again and leans up to whisper something dirty in his ear. "I'll go and make you some tea before bed," she smirks, sauntering off. "Goodbye Ana dear, Mr Grey will see you out."

I head for the door immediately. I hear him at my heels before he reaches out and touches my shoulder.

"Ana-"

I spin around to face him. "No," I say sharply. " _No_. Whatever Saturday was, was a mistake. It won't happen again."

"I'm sorry-"

I cut him off again. "Don't worry. I get it. You bought along the babysitter for help and then what? You got bored, so you thought you'd kiss me?"

He doesn't say anything and I nod, feeling the tears stinging my eyes. "Well try someone else," I say angrily. "Now you better get back to your wife. I expect she's waiting for you."

"Ana, that is _not, -_ "

But I don't get to hear the rest. I storm out of the house, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

 _Friday 27_ _th_ _September 2016_

The week goes by slowly and with each day, I'm feeling more and more hurt. Emma's words have hurt me a lot and I'd probably have quit if it wasn't for Charlie. He's one of the happiest parts of my day, as sad as that sounds.

I haven't seen sight of Christian since Monday which I'm glad for but unfortunately, that means Charlie hasn't either and I know how much he loves his dad. He's missed him dearly. It's the end of the evening now, Emma's back and Charlie hugs me tightly.

"I wish you could stay," he says quietly.

"It'll be Monday before you know it," I say, bending down to him. "Do you have the chocolate frog I gave you?" I whisper.

He nods with a big smile. "It's under my pillow," he whispers back.

"Eat it tonight and I'll be eating mine at the same time," I promise.

"Really? How will you know what time?"

"Because I know your bed time," I grin. "And…I have super powers," I tickle him and he laughs delightfully.

I pull him forward for one last hug before saying goodbye. Emma smiles at me.

"See you Monday Ana," she calls.

"See you Monday Mrs Grey," I say politely. With one last wave to Charlie, I leave.

* * *

It's almost 10pm now and I'm finishing curling my hair at Kate's.

"Black or pink?" Kate asks, holding up two dresses.

"Pink, be bold," I say to her.

"You're right," she says, looking in the mirror and holding up the pink dress. "I'm gonna be bold and hot and pink."

She eludes self-confidence and I build her up. "Bold, hot and pink," I reply. "Bold hot and pink!"

We both laugh hysterically.

Jose sighs as he sits on the floor of the same mirror, applying 'guy-liner.' "You know when eye goes perfectly and the other turns to SHIT," he complains to himself, wiping it off and starting again.

We're almost ready and I'm quite looking forward to tonight actually. We're heading back to Oceania which is risky, considering last time, but what's life without a little risk? That's probably the wine talking. We've been sharing a bottle while getting dressed and I'm feeling excited to dance and forget about my problems temporarily.

"Ethan will be here in five," Kate replies, emerging from the bathroom in her dress and admiring herself.

I quickly slip on my own red skirt and top ensemble.

"You look gorgeous Ana," Jose says as he stands. "I almost hope we _do_ see Mr Grey tonight."

"Don't say that," I threaten.

"That would be bad Jose," Kate adds. "Ana's doing the right thing here. It can't go anywhere. It's wrong."

"Anyway," I say, not wanting to hear anymore. "I'm trying to get my mind off this so can we please talk about something else?"

"Oh! We can talk about how good my new boyfriend is in bed?" Jose offers.

Kate makes a face.

" _Anything_ but that," I say with an eye roll.

* * *

It's well after midnight now and I'm standing in line to the girl's bathroom with Kate behind me singing. My head is foggy and my attempts to rid Christian from my mind for the night has backfired. He's taken permanent residence there in the last hour and I can't help myself. I reach for my phone.

 _You can't avoid me forever. You can't do somethn like that to me nd stay away. I'm hurt._

That'll show him. I stare at my phone in self-satisfaction. Kate and I are both in one cubicle and she's taking her own turn peeing when my phone buzzes again.

"Ana you shouldn't text him," Kate complains but I can't hear her.

I look down and realise it's a call. I answer it immediately and exit the cubicle quickly.

"Christian. I don't appreciate what you did." I say breathlessly.

"Ana, are you drunk?" He asks. I can _hear_ the disapproval heavy in his voice.

"No _dad_ ," I say sarcastically. "I just wanted to tell you-"

He cuts me off. "Where are you?" He asks.

"Oceania," I reply without thinking. "Why?"

"I'm coming to get you. Stay right where you are."

Shit!

"Christian, don't be-"

But I have no time to say anymore. The line goes dead.

 _Shit._

* * *

 **Please Review and let me know what you think! xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Hi guys. I've had such amazing feedback which I'm so grateful for but along with that of course comes the negativity. A lot of people are angry that this is a cheating story but it does say in the description. I want it to reflect real-life and real life isn't always perfect and these things do happen whether they should or not. It's not a fluffy story. It's a story about self-discovery, secrets, lies, betrayal, sacrifice and true love so I hope you will stick with me because I promise it's a good one and rest assured EVERYONE gets a happy ending. Thank you.**

* * *

 _Saturday 28_ _th_ _September 2016_

I'm standing at the sink, staring into the mirror in a daze when Kate comes out.

"Ana, are you okay?" She slurs.

I shake my head. "Christian's coming to get me," I tell her.

"What? Why?" She's only half interested though. She's busy reapplying her lipstick in the mirror.

I shrug. "He just told me he's coming to get me. I think he's worried because I'm drunk."

"Aww that's sweet." I can tell how drunk she is too because it's definitely not what a sober Kate would say.

"Do you think I should go?" I ask, running my fingers through my hair.

"Only if you want to Ana." She turns to look at me then. "Only if he's taking you home, because you _are_ really drunk my Annie. But if anything happens phone me immediately." She then takes my hand and leads me out to find Jose where I tell him what's going on.

"I say go for it," he grins, sipping vodka coke.

"Jose!" Kate whacks him. "It's not like that, Ana's going straight home aren't you Annie?"

I nod.

A few minutes later, my phone buzzes again and it's Christian ringing.

"Ana, I'm coming in now, whereabouts are you?"

"BY THE BAR!" Kate and Jose shout deafeningly into the phone. He cuts off and I glare at them.

"How do I look?" I ask.

"Beautiful," Jose assures me.

"Oh Ana, he's here," Kate giggles, pointing behind me.

I turn around and see Christian walking toward me and he looks even better than I remember. How is it possible that he becomes more and more gorgeous with each time I see him? He's dressed in a t-shirt and jeans as he makes his way over to me.

I look up at him as he stands in front of me and he looks down disapprovingly.

"You're drunker than I thought," he says.

"She's not _that_ drunk," Kate disagrees, moving beside me. "I'm Kate, this is Jose." She gestures towards him and he winks. She then looks at me and places her hands on my shoulder. "Tell us as soon as you're home," she says before enveloping me in a hug. Jose does the same.

"Tell us if anything happens," he smirks.

"Shut up."

I wave goodbye to my friends and Christian leads me out front. I stumble a little on my ridiculous heels and he wraps his arm around my waist carefully. It feels lovely but I'm freezing once we get outside.

"It's warm in the car," he assures me. And he's right. His car is lovely, warm and smells just like him. He gets in beside me and then we're driving.

"Is your father home?" He asks after a few moments.

I shake my head. "I think he's out."

"Well I can't leave you alone," he says bluntly.

"I'll be fine Christian." I sink back in my seat, tired, and close my eyes. I feel his eyes on me.

"No, you're not." And then he turns the car around and we start to drive in a different direction. I open my eyes immediately and sit up.

"Where are we going?" I ask, alarmed.

"My hotel suite," he says casually.

"Christian-"

He looks at me then. "Ana, you're drunk and I'm not leaving you alone. Anything could happen and your friends are even drunker than you, so I can't leave you with them. All I'm going to do is take care of you, do you trust me?"

He looks at me with sincere eyes and through my haze I nod. I _do_ trust him.

He turns his eyes back on the road.

* * *

Around fifteen minutes later, we pull up to a beautiful hotel and Christian guides me in. We head up to a vast, luxurious suite but before I have time to appreciate it, I feel a wave of nausea wash over me and sprint toward the bathroom. I make it just in time and I feel Christian behind me. I'm mortified and try to protest.

"Shh," he dismisses me. He pulls my hair behind my head gently while I'm sick. I feel too ill to argue. Afterwards I quickly brush my teeth.

"Better?" He asks, standing up and staring down at me. He runs his fingers through my hair again and I can't help it. I melt into him and he hugs me tightly.

That's when the tears fall and I feel him kiss the top of my hair. "It's okay," he says quietly. "You're fine."

"Thank you for coming to get me," I whisper. I had no idea how much I needed this.

"I'll always come and get you Ana," he whispers back.

We stay there like that, in the bathroom, for a few more seconds until he takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed. I sit on the edge and he helps me take off my shoes.

He switches the light off as I lay down.

"I can sleep over here," he gestures to the big sofa in the corner but I pull him down toward me.

"I want you here."

He lies beside me and turns on his side while I lay on my back. He strokes the side of my face gently with his fingertip.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he whispers, more to himself than me.

I feel myself flush. Everything is still a haze and I know I'm not thinking straight but right now, in this moment, I _need_ this. I reach up toward him and he meets me in the middle as our lips touch. We kiss softly and it's like magic. I've never felt this way before and I never ever want it to end. He kisses me harder and I kiss him deeper. My hands wrap themselves into his silky hair and his hand brushes across my thigh. When we break away, gasping for air, his lips never leave my skin. He kisses across my face, my jaw line, my collar bone before back up to the side of my neck where he sucks softly and I sigh loudly.

"Christian," my mouth echoes his name and his lips find mine again. I'm enjoying every single second and I want more. I reach for his hand and place it over my breast but he stills momentarily.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

He withdraws his hand. "Not when you're drunk honey," he says quietly.

I flush again. "I didn't mean, I didn't want…I'm a virgin. I didn't want _that_."

And it's true. No matter how drunk I am, I never want to have sex for the first time like this. I just want more…

"You're a virgin?" He asks, eyes wide.

I nod.

"Anastasia Steele, where have you been?" he murmurs, kissing me hard. He withdraws just as quickly as he began and then motions for me to get under the covers. "Go to sleep honey," he insists. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

I turn around and lean back into him. He wraps me in his arms, kisses my neck and I fall asleep instantly.

* * *

 _Saturday 28_ _th_ _September 2016_

I wake with the bright sunlight shining on me. It takes me a few seconds to recall everything but once I do, I close my eyes again. How did this happen? How did I let this happen? Yet as soon as I feel Christian's hand running across my arm, I can't regret a single moment, even though I know I should.

I turn to face him and open my eyes slowly. He grins at me.

"Nice sleep?" He asks.

I nod. Truth be told, it was one of the best sleeps I've ever had in my life. I've never slept beside a man before, wrapped in someone's arms. It was everything I could have wanted.

"Me too," he agrees. "I ordered you breakfast. It should be here in a minute."

"Thank you," I say. My throat is dry. "I'm _starving_."

He chuckles.

We stay there like that, just staring at one another while he strokes my hair until the door knocks. Christian gets up to get it and I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. Mascara comes off and I realise how awful I must look.

Christian brings over a tray of tea, toast, bacon and eggs. I thank him gratefully and he pours me my tea while I take a bite of toast. There's so much to say yet I have no idea how to say it. My inner voice is panicking immensely while my exterior is trying it's best to stay calm. As if reading my mind, Christian looks at me seriously.

"It's okay Ana," he says. He takes my hand. "You did nothing wrong, everything is completely fine."

I put my toast down. "You're married," I say bluntly.

"I know," he replies.

"Then what are you doing?" I sigh.

"I've _never_ felt this way about anybody before Ana. Never, in my entire life. I can't just let you slip by, I have to see if there's something there and I know you feel the same way."

I stare at my tea as I bite my lip.

"It's wrong," I say quietly.

He lifts my face up gently. "No, it's _right_. Everything about you is right. Everything about _this_ is right."

He kisses me again as if to prove it and I can't help myself from kissing him back. Kissing Christian is everything. When we break away, we both eat and afterwards lay back down in bed, side by side.

"Where does Emma and Charlie think you are?" I ask him.

"Told them I had work to attend to."

"In the middle of the night?" I ask, staring at him. "She believed you?"

He shrugs. "Told her I was with Taylor. Something had happened at work."

I don't reply. I don't know what to think and I don't know what to say. I lay on my side and move closer into him. He puts his arm around me.

"Emma told me you only invited me to the zoo to take care of Charlie," I admit to him. "It's why I was so upset."

"Well, that's not true Ana and I think I've proved it's not," he says, turning toward me and raising his brows.

I giggle a little and he pulls me even closer.

"I think you could prove it some more," I challenge.

"Oh do you now?" He smirks. He tickles me and I laugh until I'm breathless. He hovers over me and I entwine my legs with his own. My skirt has now risen so high I'm pretty sure he can see my underwear. He bends to kiss my neck again and my fingers find his hair. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling when - a loud ringtone breaks our bliss and Christian immediately resurfaces to answer.

"Um, yeah, I'll be home in about an hour," he says, standing up.

The spell broken, I sit up and fix my hair and skirt. Christian throws his phone back on the bed and looks at me sheepishly.

"Emma?" I ask.

He nods. "It's Charlie, we're going to football practice today. It's his first lesson. I then said I'd take him for dinner after and a movie night."

I nod and stand. "Well, I think I need to go home too. My dad and friends will be worried."

He nods. It's just a game of nodding. I quickly slip back on my shoes and stare unnecessarily long at them.

"Ana-"

I cut him off. "It's fine Christian," I manage a forced smile. "You have a family."

He doesn't say anything after that and there's a heavy silence as he drives me home. As we pull up outside, I sit there, unsure of what to do next. Suddenly he turns to face me and holds both of my hands in his. "What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks.

I shrug, "I don't usually do much on Sundays."

"Good. I want to take you out, on a date," he says with a smile.

I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. "A date where Christian? Someone might see us."

"You'll see," he grins. "What do you say? I'll come and get you in the afternoon so we can spend the whole day together."

I don't answer straight away and he takes that as an invite to start kissing my neck very persuasively.

"Okay," I relent. "Okay."

He kisses me quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nod and get out of the car, knowing as soon as I get inside, I'll be crying my eyes out.

* * *

 **Please review!xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

_Saturday 28_ _th_ _September 2016_

My mind is racing throughout the entire day. I complete menial chores for hours just to try and block out Christian from my mind. I clean the entire house, as well as laundry and prepping dinner. However no matter how hard I try, there he is, right at the forefront of my mind. Images of his face flood my senses. His hand on my thighs, the taste of his breath against my own, his hands wrapped around me softly. It's _so_ wrong but when I'm with him, the entire world feels right and I _know_ I shouldn't see him tomorrow. I know I should cut it off. But I also know I won't. I _can't_.

After assuring my friends I'm fine for the 100th time and eating dinner with Ray, I decide to head upstairs to bed where I take a long hot shower. As I stare into the mirror, I trace the love bite on my neck. My reminder that it was all real and that his lips were indeed on my skin. Once in bed, Kate facetimes me. I debate whether or not to answer but then I decide against it. I can't just ignore my best friend.

"Ana," she smiles. She's in her unicorn pj's with a face mask on.

I settle back into my pillows, making sure my hoodie covers the huge love bite Christian has left imprinted. "You look cosy," I comment.

"I am," she laughs. "But anyway, were not here to talk about me." She gets settled comfortably into her silky sheets and pulls out a nail polish. "What happened with Christian last night?"

And for the first time in my life, when it comes to Kate, I find myself wanting to hide the truth. I can't admit what happened or what _is_ happening. Not yet at least. And so I have no truth but to lie.

"He just dropped me home," I say airily.

"Really?" She asks sceptically. "That was all? No goodbye kiss or anything?"

"Nope," I shake my head, popping the P as I remember my heavy kisses with Christian. "I was really drunk," I clarify. "Christian just helped me home and then we said goodbye."

"Oh," she says surprised. "Well, that's great Ana and it was really nice of him to make sure you were okay."

"It was," I agree.

"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" She starts to paint her nails a bright scarlet. "I thought we could catch a movie or something and get takeout."

"Oh," I stall. _Shit_. "Um, actually, I said I'd spend some time with Ray, have dinner or something as I haven't seen him much this week."

"Didn't you see him today?" She asks, blowing her right hand.

"Yeah but he's been busy and so have I. Cleaning and stuff."

"Oh," she says disappointed. "Okay then. I'll see what Jose's up to."

"But Monday will be great," I assure her. "After work."

"Okay," she smiles. "Anyway, I gotta go, my mums calling me. I'll text you later."

She blows a kiss goodbye and I fall back into my bed as I turn out the light.

So the lies have officially begun.

The lies have _officially_ begun.

 _Sunday 29_ _th_ _September 2016_

All night I debate whether to go, but on Sunday morning after eating a bowl of coco pops, I rush upstairs to carefully think about my outfit. Deciding that Christian saw way too much of my thighs the other night, I wear my favourite pair of light blue skinny jeans, a pair of knee high boots, and a dusty pink off the shoulder cosy sweater. After that, I brush my hair out in waves, apply some makeup and anxiously await. While I wait, I try to read but I can't focus on any of the words.

I'm going on a date with a married man. _How_ am I doing this? _Why_ am I doing this? This isn't me. But clearly, it is. I'm so torn and conflicted. I pace around the room anxiously and finally, I get a text.

 _On my way, - C x_ and my heart skips a beat.

I get into Christian's car very quickly when I arrive before I have time to change my mind. The warmth and smell is just all so inviting and Christian looks absolutely delectable today in a navy blue jumper and black jeans.

"You look beautiful, as always," Christian smiles, reaching across to squeeze my hand.

"So do you," I reply.

"I know," he winks, and I giggle.

"Where are we going?" I ask, once we start to drive.

"You'll see," he says simply.

"Come on," I whine, "give me a hint."

"We're doing a few things," he says, never taking his eyes off the road. "The last thing calls for the darkness so that will wait until evening."

Now, I'm even more curious.

"So what's the first thing, at _least_?" I implore.

"Sit tight Miss Steele. I promise you'll enjoy it."

After about an hour or so of driving, we reach our first destination. We park in front of the enormous Seattle theatre and I feel my insides squirm with excitement.

"We're going to the theatre?" I ask Christian as we get out of the car.

He nods and takes my hand. I squeeze it affectionately.

"I love the theatre," I smile.

"I know. We're seeing a performance of A Midsummer Nights Dream. You said you were a fan of the classics."

"I am." I'm touched at how he remembers all the little things. However, I can't help but look around cautiously.

"Christian, you don't think anyone will see us right?"

"I picked this spot carefully," he tells me. "It's early afternoon on a Sunday and it's over an hours drive from home. Our next two destinations are much more discreet," he assures me.

My heart is fluttering and I feel on cloud nine as we sit through the performance. Its magical and wonderful and he runs his fingers across my hands throughout. I feel the electricity sparking between us as we sit side by side in the darkness. It's tantalizing, the longing to reach out and touch his skin. I place my head on his shoulder and watch the stage in fascination as the fairies come out to play.

When the performance ends, I throw my arms around Christian as the lights come back on.

We walk out of the theatre quickly and once we're in the car I turn to him.

"That really was great Christian," I say again. I hold his hand and he kisses the palm of it.

"I'm glad," he says. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty hungry."

I nod. I want to kiss him _so_ badly but he starts to drive and I know he's making me wait. Hmm, well, two can play at that game.

"Where are we going now?" I ask as he turns on the radio.

"You'll love it," he promises.

As we continue to drive further into the distance, the sky starts to dim and there's a lovely hazy relaxed atmosphere with Christian by my side and the music playing softly in the background. By the time we pull up to a little driveway entrance, I'm feeling excited and thoroughly confused.

"Where are we?" I ask, peering out the window. He pulls up to what looks like an endless field filled with twinkling things. Curiosity burning in me, I grab Christian's hand as he gets out and opens the door for me. He locks his car and we walk forward. The closer we walk into the field, I see that the twinkling lights are lanterns, and there are huge tent-like mini houses made of wood surrounding the fields and lights. Flowers burst out from every direction and it's like walking through a magical fairy tale wood. I feel the tears pricking my eyes as we slowly approach our little 'house.' Inside is lit with gorgeous lights, a roaring fire place that sits in the corner surrounded by cushions and a table that's laid with wine glasses and gold plates. He closes the door behind us.

"Midsummer night's dream themed," Christian smiles. "Couldn't end it at the performance, could we?"

I throw my arms around him so tightly we fall into the cushions by the fire. He chuckles.

"I take it you like it?" He grins up at me, brushing the hair from out of my eyes.

I reply by kissing him hard. He tastes even better than I remember and he kisses me back passionately, his hands roaming the contours of my back. Breaking away, I start to kiss his neck and I hear him make a sound of pleasure which I revel in.

"This is perfect," I breathe.

"Like you," he replies, tilting my head up and attacking my neck with wild kisses. We sit up into a sitting position, me in his lap as we kiss. It's bliss. The fire, along with Christian's lips, is warming my skin in ways I never knew existed.

A soft knock on the door breaks us apart and we laugh as Christian gets up to answer. He lets in the waiters who must work at the park. One carries in two steaming plates of food. The other carries in a tiered tower of cakes and candy and all things sugary heaven. Christian lets them out before helping me up and over to the table.

"I know you like desert," he winks as he brings a mini sugar coated chocolate donut to my lips. I take a bite and he devours the rest.

I close my eyes in pleasure. "This is divine," I grin. I have an enormous sweet tooth and Christian definitely knows all about it.

And so we have dinner. It's a delicious dinner of spaghetti, another one of my favourites. We talk endlessly while we eat and drink wine and afterwards stuff our faces with the most gorgeous deserts. By the time we've finished, it's dark outside and Christian suggests we take a walk to look at the stars. He wraps me in his coat, which is of course oversized,, and holds my hand as we walk across the flowery grounds and up to a little garden wall where he lifts me up to sit and stands between my legs. Looking up at the sky, I find it's the most magnificent shade of deepest blue and thousands of stars are shining like diamonds. Along with the lanterns, it's as if the whole world has been bathed in glitter dust. It's breathtakingly magical. It definitely feels as though I'm in a dream.

"Make a wish Ana," Christian whispers.

"I think all my wishes are coming true," I whisper back, staring down at him.

We stay in silence as we absorb the starlit sky and Christian wraps his arms around me as I wrap my hands in his hair. It feels so perfect that I forget our predicament. I forget he's married and I forget that what we're doing is wrong because absolutely nothing feels wrong about this. It feels right.

"I don't want to leave," I confess. "Can't we just stay here forever?"

He chuckles into my neck. "I wish."

And as we realise that nightfall is descending, and its soon time to go, my happiness turns to sadness.

"Don't be sad because it's over," Christian tells me, considering my eyes and sensing my emotions. "Smile because it happened."

"Cheesy," I smirk.

He playfully bites my lip and turns me on instantly. I kiss him hungrily and wrap my legs around his waist tightly. When we pull away, he speaks.

"We better head back," he says regretfully.

I sigh. "But when will this happen again?" I ask. "When will we be together like this?"

"All the time Ana," he assures me. "I will always make the time for you. Weekends, week nights."

"But what about Charlie?" I ask, shaking my head. "What about work?"

"Stop worrying Ana," Christian tells me reproachfully. "Please."

Feeling slightly annoyed at his abrupt tone, I jump down from the wall and start to walk.

"Ana," Christian calls, annoyed. I feel him behind me.

"We better get back," I reply. "I forgot, you have much more important things to attend to."

He spins me around so fast I barely have time to blink. I look up into his face and I see he's angry.

"More important things to attend to?" He questions. "After I spent all night trying to plan the most perfect date for you? I was up for _hours_. Do you think I do this for people I don't find important? Do you?" He insists.

I realise I was harsh and now I feel awful. Tears sting my eyes.

"Sorry," I murmur.

He shakes his head, still pissed. "I never want to hear you say that again. You _are_ important to me. More than you realise."

I lean in gently and I'm relieved when he holds me.

"Tonight was magical Christian," I tell him earnestly, looking up at him. "It was everything I could have hoped for."

He finally smiles slightly. "I'm glad," he says. He kisses me on the forehead and hand in hand, we walk slowly back to the car.

It's dark as we drive back now and for some reason, I'm feeling very tearful as the night draws to a close. I look out of the window so that Christian doesn't see me crying but unfortunately he does.

"Ana?" He asks.

I don't answer.

"Shall I stop the car?" He asks me.

I shake my head but he doesn't listen. A few seconds later Christian pulls up into a little road and turns to face me.

"What's wrong?" He says, turning to face me. "Ana," he turns my face gently when I don't reply.

"I'm being ridiculous," I say, laughing half-heartedly.

"I'm not moving until you tell me," he insists.

"I had the best time with you," I confess. "I don't want it to end."

His face relaxes and he leans back into his seat. "It's not the end."

"I know that," I say huffily. "You know what I mean."

"What do you want me to do?" He asks, looking at me again. "We can't stay there forever." His voice is annoyed and my sadness fades as a new sensation replaces it.

"Nothing," I reply. "Just…can we go please? I'm tired."

He says nothing as he starts his car again and drives off into the night. I close my eyes.

It's pitch black and very late by the time we pull up. Having must of dozed off, I can't make out exactly where we are but it doesn't look like home. Once I adjust, I see it's a very nice car park that looks vaguely familiar.

"Christian, where are we?" I ask.

"Come on, get out," he instructs, exiting the car himself. He opens my door and I get out into the cold air, Christian's jacket still firmly wrapped around me.

"Why haven't you taken me home?" I ask as he strides forward.

"Because you didn't want it to end and you were crying."

I hurry forward to keep up.

"Christian, I didn't mean-"

But he continues to ignore me so I shut up.

Once inside the building, I realise we're at the hotel of Christian's luxurious suite once again.

"Why do you have this suite?" I ask, the thought occurring to me for the first time.

"I like to come here to work," he explains. "I like to come here for peace and quiet."

"Your house is huge," I say, scrunching my face up in confusion.

"Yes, well. I don't want to be stuck with Emma all the time do I?"

I'm silenced for a moment as we reach his room and he swipes his card across. He's never voluntarily offered information on his wife before and I'm eager to press further. I want to know why he doesn't love her, because if he's here with me, it's clear he does not. However, I won't push it right now. I'll wait a while.

The room looks exactly the same as we left it and it brings me comfort. I quickly send a text to Ray to say I'm staying at Kate's before I shrug off my boots.

"What's the time?" I ask Christian as I watch him take off his own shoes.

"Almost ten," he says. "Why?"

"Just wondering."

He stands by the window, looking outside and now that I'm feeling very happy, I make my way over to him and wrap my arms around his waist gently. I feel him relax and soon he turns around and raises his eyebrows.

"Quite the spoiled little thing aren't you Miss Steele?" He accuses.

I flush. "I just like being with you," I confess. "I liked sleeping with you the other night."

He smirks and I flush again. "Not like that," I swat him playfully. "You know what I mean."

His fingers come up to unzip his coat from me slowly. He parts it open and pushes it off my arms. I smile at the gesture.

"Can we watch a movie in bed?" I ask softly. "I'd like that."

"Hmm, I think so. But only if I get to pick the movie," he replies.

I laugh and take his hand as we walk on over to the bed and I lean back into the soft sheets.

"You're not going to sleep in those, are you?" He asks, gesturing to my sweater and jeans. "Bit much for bed don't you think?"

"I don't have anything else with me," I giggle.

"I have t-shirts," he offers. "Would you like one?"

"Yes please."

He gets up quickly and comes back with a soft white t-shirt which he throws at me and I catch. Feeling brave and excited that I'm spending the night again with Christian, I crawl onto him and he places both his hands on my waist, making nice little motions with his fingertips.

"Would you like to help me put the t-shirt on?" I ask, settling myself onto him more comfortably. I feel him shift slightly beneath me.

He smirks as his hands start to edge up slowly.

"Certainly."

 **Please review!xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

_Sunday 29_ _th_ _September 2016_

I raise my arms in the air and in seconds, the sweater is discarded and Christian's lips are on my skin. I'm in a black lace push up bra and his lips find my cleavage where he kisses softly. I've never been this far before, nobody's ever seen my breasts but I find that I'm not afraid. The way Christian is holding me, and staring at me, gives me a confidence I didn't know I possess. His fingers expertly unhook my bra and he throws that off too. Before I have time to think, his mouth is on my breasts, licking and sucking. I close my eyes in pleasure. I've never felt anything like this and I make little sighs of pleasure as the rest of his hands roam my skin. Soon, he lays me down and hovers over me as he sucks over the already large love bite on my neck. It's sensitive and I moan.

"You like that?" He whispers seductively into my ear.

"Mhmm," words are hard right now.

Now I feel his hands unbuttoning my jeans and he slides them elegantly down my legs along with my panties. I'm completely bare and I want Christian to be too. I can't help feeling a little self-conscious but he gets up from me and stares down as he lifts off his shirt.

"You're exquisite Anastasia Steele," he smiles.

I flush from head and toe and lean up to kiss him. He lifts me by my butt and pulls me on top of him. His hands are everywhere and his tongue washes over my mouth. I stare at the chiselled contours of his perfect chest. Instinctively, my hands reach out to touch but he recoils slightly at my touch. My gaze wonders up to meet his eyes in confusion but he distracts me by pinning me down again and the way he kisses down my body makes me temporarily forget anything else. He kisses back up until our lips touch again and I run my fingers through his soft hair, pulling him closer to me.

"You've never been touched before?" He murmurs against my lips.

I shake my head.

He hitches one of my legs around his waist and his fingers rub the insides of my thighs slowly. A foreign feeling overcomes me and I close my eyes tightly. "Please," I sigh.

He continues to torture me. He bites my lip and his fingers dance dangerously close to where I need them to be. And then finally, he's touching me and it's so overwhelming my hands clutch him tightly. His thumb circles my clitoris slowly and I cry out into his mouth.

"You're very wet for me, I like that," he comments. "Let's try this.'

I'm about to ask what he's going to try but I feel it instantly. One of his fingers makes his way slowly into my body and I momentarily still. I gasp as he starts to move it in and out slowly.

"Oh god," I cry.

The feeling is unlike anything I can describe. After what feels like forever, a second finger joins and with his thumb still rubbing me and his lips still attached to my neck, my breasts, my lips, I feel as though I'm about to explode. My breathing is fast and my eyes are shut tight.

"Come on Ana," he breathes. "You're close."

An orgasm. I'm about to have an orgasm, which I know so much about, due to Kate telling me how hard it is for women to reach them. His hand moves faster and faster until it happens. It's the most amazing feeling and I cry out his name as I come. He doesn't stop until I'm way too sensitive and I have to push his hand away. He smirks and lays down next to me, placing his hand between my boobs.

"Your hearts racing," he notes.

"That took a lot of energy," I comment.

He chuckles and props himself up on his elbow to stare down at me. I watch as he brings his fingers to his lips and licks them.

"Isn't that gross?" I wonder.

"Gross? No way. I love it."

"Would you ever…?" I trail off.

"Would I ever lick you out?" He asks matter-of-factly, smirking.

I blush.

"Of course I would," he laughs. "Want me to now?"

"I think I need to recover first," I giggle. I lean over and climb on top of him. Once I straddle him, I bend down and begin to kiss his neck. His eyes close and he stills as I kiss down his chest. When I reach his jeans, I begin to unbutton them slowly with slightly shaky fingers. I'm afraid I won't know what I'm doing. I've never even seen a man's cock before. He helps kick them off and then I see his boxers. The tight Calvin klein's encase him perfectly and I quickly pull them down before I can think about it too much. My eyes widen when I see what lies underneath. He is rock hard and _big_. Much bigger than then I expected but above all that, he's beautiful. Every single part of him is beautiful and I don't even think before I place my mouth on him.

"God Ana," he hisses.

I look up at him through my lashes and find he's watching me. I resume what I'm doing and find that most of is instinctive. I wrap my hand around the base and slowly move it up and down in time with my mouth.

"Lick your hand honey," he instructs.

I do as he says and then move it over him harder. I'm not entirely prepared when he orgasms.

"Ana," he groans. The noise turns me on all over again.

It's sweet and salty and not at all as bad as I expected. Once he's finished, I climb back up and he pins me beneath him, kissing me so hard it startles me. My hands roam his back as I pull him closer.

"I want you so badly," he says, against the hollow of my throat.

"Then have me," I whisper.

He closes his eyes, as if having a war with himself internally. Finally, he rolls off me, lying flat on his back and pulling me on top of him. He wraps his arms tightly around me and kisses my forehead slowly. I can feel his heart beating against mine and right now, it's the most comforting sound in the world.

"I want it to be special," he says quietly to me. "I want you to be sure."

And I kiss the closest piece of skin I can find. His words mean the world to me. Christian's fingers now run softly through my hair and the gentleness of his touch makes me want to cry. We're silent for what seems like hours, me breathing him in and him stroking my hair and skin. The moonlight shines through the windows, illuminating our skin, and he looks so beautiful. I can't really believe I'm here with him.

"Are you tired?" He asks, breaking the stillness.

I nod. "I don't want to sleep though." I look up at him and watch as his eyes stare back into mine. A multicolour of the most beautiful colours, grey, blue, but the most prominent _green_. They're spectacular.

"Then what would you like to do?" He asks, smirking.

"Why are you here with me?" I ask suddenly. The darkness gives me a sense of bravery, security in the stillness of the night.

"What do you mean?" I can hear the frown in his voice without needing to look at him.

I trace a pattern on his arm with my fingertips. "You know what I mean. Why don't you love Emma?"

He sighs, but he stays still. His hands still stay in my hair.

"It's complicated," he finally answers.

"I'm quite intelligent, I think I can understand," I say, with only a hint of sarcasm.

He's quiet again but I know that he is contemplating his answer.

"I can't tell you certain things until I tell you other things," he says eventually.

"So tell me the other things," I implore. I kiss his skin again. "I'd never judge you Christian, I hope you know that."

And it's true. I wouldn't.

He resumes his stroking of my hair and I nestle further into him. "I met Emma when I was twenty-three. She was twenty-eight and we were both looking for the same thing. Something not serious. I was into BDSM, I was a dominant and she was a submissive so it worked."

This is the part where my eyes widen. BDSM? Oh my goodness… I had no idea they were so kinky.

"We were together for a few years while I was building up Grey's Enterprise's and she was furthering her law career. The relationship suited us because we only really saw each-other for sex and it was good. We got on. But then she got pregnant."

"I'm guessing Charlie wasn't planned," I find myself saying, more to myself. I picture his smiling face as he grins up at me at the school gates and a pang of guilt stabs through me.

"No he wasn't but I'm very glad he's here. I love him more than anything. At the time, however, well we'd never discussed kids. It wasn't that kind of relationship but she didn't find out until she was about four months pregnant and neither of us wanted to get rid of it so we decided to get married."

"Surely that view isn't still held though?" I ask in confusion. "You don't have to get married just because of a child."

"It wasn't just that," he disagrees. "It was more out of convenience. As I said before, we got on. We both enjoyed the sex. We were in a relationship that we both wanted with no more expectations. With a child on the way, it just made sense to make ourselves a family. We wanted Charlie to have stability and to be raised in a somewhat normal family environment."

"But you didn't love her," I comment.

"I didn't love her," he confirms.

"But that's what marriage should be about," I mumble.

"I know," he squeezes me tightly but I find my heart breaking for him. How can he be content in a loveless marriage? It's my very worst nightmare.

"As the years pass it gets harder," he sighs. "Emma, she's cold, detached. Sometimes I feel as though she fails to see the beauty in the world, everything's about money and social ladders and events."

"She likes the name Grey," I offer. "What it brings her."

"Exactly!" He agrees. "She never smiles as much as when she's getting her photograph taken at an event."

I contemplate this for a second. "Why don't you divorce her?" I ask. "You should."

"I know," he agrees, "believe me I want to. But Emma…she's vindictive. She'll use Charlie against me."

"You're afraid she'll take him away?" I guess.

He nods.

"She can't just do that Christian," I assure him. "You have just as much rights as her."

"It's hard Ana. Also, how will it affect Charlie? Who will he live with? He'd be devastated."

"Well you can't stay with her," I insist. "Especially not now."

He doesn't answer me and I lift up to look down at him. "You know that right?" I ask.

His face is impassive.

"You can't stay with her Christian. It's going to hurt Charlie either way. It will hurt him if you stay with her and she finds out about us."

He sits up now and runs his fingers through his hair. "It's so complicated."

"No it's not," I pull his t-shirt over my head and stand up. "It's not complicated. You break up with her and you deal with the consequences."

"You don't understand," he says angrily. "You're nineteen."

"You didn't seem to mind how old I was when I was sucking your dick," I retort. "I'm mature for my age Christian. If you have no plans to end things with her then where is this going?" I gesture between ourselves. "Am I an experiment? A way to pass the time? What even am I to you?"

He stands up now and glares down at me. I've hit a nerve but I don't care. He needs to grow up.

"I have _never_ , in seven years, touched another woman apart from my wife. You are the first and you will be the last," he shouts. "Do you think I would risk my family and Charlie's happiness for any random girl? Because I certainly fucking wouldn't. You're the first person I've connected with since Emma. Actually no, you're the first woman I've _ever_ connected with. You call yourself an experiment? You think I need to experiment after what I used to do?"

His anger is much more impressive than mine and despite the way I'm feeling, I'm cracking under the weight of his words.

"You've just exploded into my life out of nowhere and turned everything upside down and you know what?" He steps closer. "It's the _happiest_ I've been in my fucking life."

The emotions overwhelming me, I can't help it when it the tears fall. He tilts my head up and kisses me hard. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me, my legs locking around his waist. We don't break away until I'm lying underneath him on the bed again.

"I know what I have to do," he says earnestly. "And I want to be with you Ana. I really do but I need time, I need time to figure things out okay? Can you give me that?"

I nod and pull his lips back to mine.

* * *

 **Please review xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

_Monday 30_ _th_ _September 2016_

Charlie is delighted when he spots me at the gates. He runs to me straight away and I hug him tightly.

"Missed you little one," I say earnestly. I really have missed his smiling face. He's such a ray of sunshine in my life.

"Me too! Are we swimming today?"

I nod as I take his hand and we walk to my car.

"Yes!" He says happily. "I didn't get to go swimming yesterday, daddy wasn't there again."

Guilt washes over me. No, he wouldn't have been, because he was with me…

"Why didn't you swim with mommy?" I ask in wonder.

"She doesn't like swimming." He says simply.

 _Figures_.

"What did you do then? You must have done something fun!"

He shakes his head and I instantly feel awful. I squeeze his hand tightly and stop momentarily to bend down to him. He looks at me questioningly.

"How about we go and do something fun before we go home and swim?" I suggest.

"Like what?" He asks.

"It's up to you. What would you like to do? Where would you like to go?"

"On an adventure!" He says instantly.

I laugh. "An adventure where?"

"To look for treasure!"

He's so cute that he melts my heart. I stand back up and he places his hand in mine while we set off on our adventure.

* * *

Our adventure ends up being a trip to a petting farm and exploring park not far from home. It closes at four thirty so we only have just over an hour but Charlie's thrilled all the same. He gets to play on all of the playground equipment, pet bunnies, and search for wildlife. On the way home he declares how much he wants a rabbit and how he's going to ask daddy for one.

By the time we get back it's dinner time. Gail serves us chicken and veggies and then we go off to swim. I turn the pool water up to a warm temperature and relax as the steamy water washes over me. Right now, it's one of my favourite places to be.

"It feels like a bath!" Charlie exclaims as he attempts to back stroke.

"It's amazing," I agree.

"But the bath upstairs smells much better," he giggles.

"I'm sure it does." The Greys' first floor bathroom is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The bath tub is round and enormous with four different taps and about a thousand luxury bath salts, bombs and products surrounding it. I would love nothing more than to sink into it, _especially_ with Christian. All day I've been trying to get him out of my mind but I'm afraid he's most likely permanently taped there with glue. I think about our night together and how amazing it was. I can't wait for it to happen again but unfortunately, I don't know how long that will be.

Emma comes home while we're still swimming and Charlie doesn't want to get out.

"Charlie, it's late," Emma says, as I climb out of the pool and wrap myself in a towel. "Come on, you have to have a bath before bed time."

He crosses his arms. "No, I want daddy to put me to bed," he frowns.

"Well daddy's not here," she says, irritated. "Get out now."

I bend down to him over the pool. "Come on Charlie," I say softly. "I'm sure daddy will be back soon."

"He won't Ana," I watch as his eyes fill with tears.

"He will," I assure him. "You've got to go and have a bath now and get all clean. Remember how nice it smells?"

He nods and brushes a tear away.

"Come on then honey," I hold out a hand to him and he takes it as I help pull him up. I turn to face Emma but I see she's already left. I smile in disbelief to myself at the complete lack of sympathy she shows to her five-year-old. After wrapping Charlie in his towel, we walk out into the living room where Emma is removing her heels and scarf.

"Finally," Emma says. "Now is not the time to be difficult Charlie," she states as she takes out her earrings. "I might start asking you to stay for the bedtime routine when Christian's not here Ana, I'm just too stressed out at the moment to deal with it."

I stare at her as Charlie clutches my hand. "Sure," I reply. "You'd like that wouldn't you Charlie?"

He looks up at me and nods.

"Don't worry about it for tonight though," she says. "Say goodbye to Ana Charlie."

We say our goodbyes before I head off to quickly change. Just before I get to the stairs however, Emma stops me in my tracks.

"Are you okay?" She asks suddenly, staring at my neck.

"What?" I'm extremely confused.

"That mark, on your neck."

I look down immediately and see that the makeup covering my love bite has come off in the water. I go red instantly and I hear her laugh.

"Oh, I understand. It's _that_ kind of mark."

I laugh nervously.

"I wasn't aware you had a boyfriend?"

 _Yeah, and he's your husband._

"Yeah, well…" I point to the stairs. "Got to go change!"

She nods. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I quickly run up the stairs.

* * *

By the time I get home I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I feel as though I could sleep for a year and I just want to fall into my bed. Ray however has other plans.

"Ana, is that you?" He calls from the lounge.

 _Who else would it be?_ I roll my eyes.

I walk in reluctantly and he's sitting with a takeout watching a movie.

"How are you?" He asks. "Feels like I haven't seen you for ages! Come and sit down, have a spring roll."

Having a spring roll is the last thing I want to do now but I oblige. I sit down with him as we watch an awful movie. It takes him seventeen minutes to bring up the topic he wants to discuss. The food is finished when he turns to me with a sigh.

"Your mother's coming on the weekend," he says.

My eyes widen.

"Why is she coming?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Wants to see you I guess. You are her daughter Ana and it's been almost a year now."

"I know," I sigh. "Now is not a great time though. I'm just so busy with work and everything."

"Yep, I know kiddo," he nods. "But she's your mother and she's going through a hard time. She just broke up with her fiancé."

"What?" I cry incredulously. "The last time we talked she'd just gotten engaged!"

"You know what your mothers like," he claims, getting to his feet and taking the plates. "Anyway, she'll be staying for a few weeks. I'm giving her my room while I sleep downstairs."

I force a smile.

 _Great. Just what I need._

* * *

Upstairs, I take a long hot shower and climb into bed. I haven't heard from or seen Christian all day, which I'm rather disappointed about so I decide to message him.

 _Hey, missed you today. – A x_

I wait for a reply for over five minutes but I start to feel anxious when a reply doesn't come. I'm about to send another and I'm just typing when he messages. I feel my body relax instantly.

 _Missed you too. Super draining day at work. How are you? – C x_

Smiling, I message back.

 _I'm okay. I'd much rather be in your arms again right now though. How about you? – A x_

 _Yes but unfortunately I'm at home. I'm in bed already and off to sleep now, I'm exhausted. Should hopefully be back in time to see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, - C x_

I frown as I place the phone on my bedside table. That was an extremely abrupt end to a short conversation and I'm wondering whether or not he would have said goodnight to me today if I hadn't initiated the contact. I had thought he would at least text but no, nothing. I reread the message and a cold shiver runs through me as I properly take it in. _I'm in bed already._ He's in bed. With Emma. Are they… are they having sex? Is that why he wanted me to stop texting him? Tears sting my eyes and I try to put it out of my mind. It's times like this I really need my friends but they can't help me because I haven't told them. I turn off my lights and try to sleep but it will not come easy to me. I lay awake for what I assume is hours before finally falling off into a fretful slumber.

* * *

 _Tuesday 1_ _st_ _October 2016_

The next day is a hard. I don't wake up until around 2am and having no time to eat, I grab an orange, quickly get ready and head out of the door. I don't even have time to do my makeup if I want to make it in time for Charlie. I'm feeling extremely restless and antsy but try my best to pull myself together before I get to the school. On the way, I drive through a Starbucks and order an espresso which helps to wake me up and give me some energy. I make it _just_ in time as the children come out.

Fortunately, Charlie's a little tired today and he just wants to play with his lego which is fine by me. I play with him for a while and we eat dinner together before putting on a movie while Charlie plays on his new Nintendo on the sofa next to me.

"Did you get to see daddy last night?" I ask him softly.

He shakes his head without looking up from his game.

"Daddy gave me this in the morning though!" he says about his Nintendo.

I sigh internally. Materialistic gifts to make up for a lack of presence is something that doesn't seem to work in the long run.

And so the evening is a quiet one, which we both quite enjoy. Much to my displeasure however, at around eight o clock, _Emma_ comes clattering in wearing her skyscrapers and holding two large folders and her usual oversized bag.

"Hi mommy," Charlie greets her.

"Hi darling," she says, without looking at him as she takes off her shoes and places her folders down.

"Ana," she smiles, removing her coat and making eye contact with me now. "You wouldn't mind tonight being one of the nights you put Charlie to bed would you? He's okay for a bath, he can have one tomorrow. I'm actually off for a bath myself now before I go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"That's fine," I assure her as she strides over to us. She gives Charlie a kiss on the cheek and ruffles his hair before walking over to the phone. She dials and the receiver picks up on the first ring.

"Hi Gail, I'm off for a bath," she says. "You wouldn't mind bringing me up a soy hot chocolate with caramel and a snack would you? Oh, yes, that would be nice. Thank you."

She puts down the phone and then disappears up the stairs.

Upstairs, Charlie changes into his pyjamas, brushes his teeth, and I brush his hair for him before he gets into bed. I put all of his fancy lights on and he picks out a bedtime story about a little prince.

"I like you reading me the story," he smiles.

"I like reading you the story too," I grin.

He falls asleep halfway through and I tuck him in tightly before exiting quietly. On the way down the stairs I see Gail in her pyjamas carrying a tray of elegant looking snacks. I bid her goodnight and make my way home.

Once I'm home and in my own room, Kate facetimes.

"I've missed you," she says, wearing a chocolate facemask and straightening her hair. "I need to see my Ana banana."

"I know," I agree. "I miss you too."

"Get together Friday night," she insists. "No excuses. Me, you and Jose are all having a girly sleepover at mine with nails, films, wine and food. I've already sorted it with Jose."

I smile. That sounds _exactly_ what I need right now. "Of course."

"Good!"

We chat for a bit more before saying goodbye and I lay down and try to watch a movie and block out my thoughts. Of course, this effort is futile. Christian said he'd see me today but he didn't. Not only that but he hasn't messaged me again all day either. It's taking everything in me not to cry and I feel so stupid. He's a grown married man. Of course he's busy. Of course he's not thinking about me twenty four seven like I am him.

I'm his weekend girl.

* * *

 _Thursday 3_ _rd_ _October 2016_

It's Thursday now and I'm feeling extremely down. I haven't seen Christian since Sunday and he hasn't bothered to text much either. Yesterday, Emma came home first again with no peep from Christian.

Right now, it's eight fifteen and neither Emma or Christian have returned yet. I put Charlie to bed almost half an hour ago after he was falling asleep on me. I've poured myself a glass of wine as I sit at the kitchen table and think about things. I feel completely disheartened that Christian hasn't bothered to see me since Sunday. I know he has work and other commitments but he could at least text me sufficiently. I drain the last drops from my glass and I'm just about to pour myself another when the door opens. There's no clicking heels. I stay where I am, feeling extremely nervous for some reason.

I smell his aftershave even before I _see_ him. I hear him remove his jacket and then I hear his footsteps get closer and closer. I stay exactly in the same spot, almost frozen and then I feel his arms around me and relax immediately.

"I've missed you so much," he whispers in my ear, pressing his lips against my neck and moving my hair aside.

Finally, I turn around to face him and I'm sure my expression is not a happy one.

"Really?" I ask sarcastically. "Could have fooled me. You haven't even texted."

"I know," he says apologetically as he sits down next to me. " _And_ I knew you'd be angry which is why I've arranged dinner reservations for Saturday evening and I thought we'd spend the night together. I have a surprise for you."

"Why didn't you text or call at least?" I frown.

"I genuinely _have_ been so busy Ana," he explains. "We've got new interns wanting to start for after Christmas which has been hectic. Also, I've had a lot of meetings. The main reason however is I feel like Emma's getting suspicious. I caught her the other day about to look through my phone."

My eyes widen.

"I know," he grimaces. "That's why I've bought a new phone and I'll text you the number. This phone will be just for you. We can talk, call, and take pictures. I don't want to deprive you of any part of a relationship that you should be having at your age."

I can't help but smile. The thought of Christian having pictures of me on his phone is a good feeling.

"Next week should be calmer," he says, holding onto my hand and rubbing it with his thumb.

I nod.

"Charlie asleep?" He asks now.

"Yes, I put him to bed."

He sighs. "I've been feeling like such a bad father lately. I've had so much on my plate… I've arranged a day out for us on Saturday though, before I see you in the evening. I'm going to take him to a trampoline park and out for lunch."

"He'll like that," I smile. "He's missed you a lot."

"I've missed him too," he agrees. "Emma's got a friend's baby shower on Sunday too so I'll have him then. I thought we could all spend the day together doing something fun here. He seems to love baking with you."

I nod again and lean in for a kiss. He kisses back enthusiastically and he tastes so good. I've been wanting this all week.

"I can't wait for Saturday," he whispers against my lips.

"Me too," I whisper back. "Emma will be here soon won't she?"

He nods regretfully.

"I know I should go," I say, withdrawing reluctantly.

He kisses me passionately once more. "I'll text you tonight on my new phone," he promises.

"You better," I threaten.

He chuckles and we both get to our feet. He helps me put on my coat and at the front door, he kisses me goodbye.

* * *

 **Please review and let me know what you think! Love hearing your feedback guys - Elizabeth. xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N For the past few weeks I have been suffering with panic attacks which has been a truly horrible experience. Balancing my anxiety along with my never ending amount of university work and my own personal writing has been a struggle. There has been a lot of messages pressuring me to update other stories and faster. I can only do my best and I'm sorry if that it isn't good enough. I appreciate all of you who are patient, understanding and loyal. Thank you xx**

* * *

 _Friday 4_ _th_ _October 2016_

I'm finally finished work and I'm currently heading to Kate's. I packed my stuff this morning so I wouldn't have to go back home first. My mom's due sometime tomorrow and since I'm busy all weekend, I won't be able to see her much. I also won't have to deal with Ray demanding I stay in. Charlie and I watched a movie today and he was delighted when Christian got home first. I left them about to have a late-night swim and hot chocolate afterwards which Charlie was ecstatic for.

I get to Kate's and Jose is already there. Kate's gone all out and the whole of her downstairs living room looks like some kind of sweet sixteen slumber party. She has face masks and nail polishes on a little table and tons of candy and food on the big one. Blankets, pillows and cushions of every colour adorn the floor and it's honestly really very sweet.

"Ana banana," she screams, wrapping me in a big hug. She's wearing a velvet lounge suit with a messy bun on the top of her head.

"This is lovely Kate," I tell her, "and really what I need."

"That's the plan. Come in and get into your lounge clothes!"

Twenty minutes later, I'm sat in an oversized hoodie, sweats and I'm on the floor by the fire eating chips with my best friends. Tangled is playing in the background and it's cosy and warm.

"What's been going on Ana?" Jose asks, applying a chocolate facemask with his fingertips. "How has work been?"

"Busy," I reply. "Christian and Emma have been coming back late almost every night so I've been having to put Charlie to bed."

"That's so sad," Kate sighs, through a mouthful of popcorn. "Why have a child if you're never going to be there for them?"

I'm about to defend Christian but then I realise that she's right. I can't really disagree.

"How have things been with Christian then?" Jose wonders nosily, digging his hand into my bowl of chips.

Red floods my face and I instantly know I've given it away.

"You're blushing," Kate acknowledges. "What's happening?"

"Nothing," I mumble. "Oh I love this part of the film."

"Don't evade us Anastasia Steele," Kate says. "Tell us."

I debate with myself whether or not to tell them. I realise that I'm stuck quite alone in this predicament with nobody to open up to. Carefully looking at my besties, I decide I need their support. I can't go through everything by myself.

"I've been seeing Christian," I say in a quiet voice.

They both gasp.

"No," Kate mouthes.

"Yeah, I have," I confess.

"When you mean seeing…" Jose trails off.

"I went out on a date to the theatre and to a glamping park with him last week and I'm going for dinner with him tomorrow night. I've also spent the night at his hotel a few times."

"Oh my god Ana," Jose grins. "Have you done stuff with him?"

I nod and flush again. "Not all the way," I confirm.

Turning to Kate, I see that she looks horrified. "Ana…," she starts but I interrupt her.

"I _know_. Both of us know how wrong it is but you don't understand how right it feels with him."

"It's not just about you, think about Charlie," Kate implores. "And Ana, do you know what will happen if this gets out? The names you'll be called by the media? The slutty teenage homewrecker."

"It's not like that," I insist.

"Maybe not to you but it will be for everybody else."

I don't answer her. There's a very small part of me that doesn't want to admit that she's right. That line of thought has never crossed my mind and I bite my lip nervously thinking about what the consequences _just_ might be if people found out.

"It's okay Ana," Jose says, throwing an arm around me and shooting a nasty glare at Kate. "Just think about things that's all. Is he going to break up with Emma?"

"He says he is," I whisper. "But he hasn't done anything yet."

"That's exactly what I mean Ana!" Kate sighs dramatically. "Men never want to do anything hard. They want everything the easy way. He'll end up staying with her and you'll be his side chick."

"Don't say that," Jose snaps.

Part of me wonders if she's right. He's making no plans to break up with her, is he? On the contrary he's hiding me even _more_ by buying a new phone.

"It's the truth," Kate mumbles. She then turns to me. "It's not you I'm angry at Ana, it's him. He should know better. Cheating is so wrong, if he's not happy with her he needs to break up and divorce."

"I know," I whisper. "I've told him that but he said he needs time."

"What he needs is to learn a lesson. He needs to learn he can't have his cake and eat it too. He's either with Emma or you, not both. You should put an end to it until he gives her up," she says determinedly.

"And what if he doesn't?" I ask.

"Then you're better off without him," she shrugs. "If he doesn't give her up it means he was never going to."

Tears spring to my eyes and Jose instantly envelops me in his arms.

"I thought you'd be there for me," I cry angrily. I cry when I'm angry. "Now you're literally just telling me what to do and saying that Christian doesn't give a shit about me!"

"That's not what I said Ana," she insists. "I just want the best for you. You know that. I don't want to see you get your heart broken by a billionaire douche."

"Let's just…put it to bed for tonight," Jose says, wiping a tear away from my eye. "What should we put on Ana, your choice? Oh and lets order pizza. Somebody pass me the laptop."

* * *

 _Saturday 5_ _th_ _October 2016_

Heading home early Saturday afternoon, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Even though telling Kate about Christian was _exactly_ as I'd feared, at least I'd told my friends now and don't have to go through anything alone. I know they'll always be there for me, even if Kate was a bitch about it.

When I pull up to my house however I feel myself tense again. My mom is there and I'm going to have to start lying a lot while she's around. Unlike Ray, she's not one to leave me to my own devices. She'll want to spend every spare minute I have with me and I just can't deal with that. Slowly getting out of the car and hitching my bag over my shoulder I make my way to the door. Not even two inches into the house, my mom comes bounding out of nowhere hugging me so tightly it almost crushes me to death.

"Oh honey I've missed you." Great, she's crying already.

"Missed you too mom," I say, hugging her back and pulling back. She looks the same as every only slightly less glamorous. Her shiny brown hair is somewhat limp and she's lacking makeup. I can tell it's been a rough time for her. "How was your flight?"

She gives me a very detailed account of her trip here from the gross water to the woman two rows across that kept giving her funny looks. Soon, we're all sat in the lounge while Ray makes us some tea and we have a catch up. I tell her all about work and my friends and she stays away from the mention of her ex-fiancé for now.

"I thought we could all go for dinner tonight," she says through a sip of chamomile. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Oh," I look down at my tea and fidget a little. "I'm seeing kate and Jose tonight. We already made plans."

"Oh," she says, surprised.

"You saw them last night Ana," Ray says pointedly.

"I know, but I didn't know mom was coming. These plans were made ages ago."

"What is it you're doing?"

I glare at him. _Now_ he decides to give me the inquisition in front of my mom. I try to think of something we could be doing that can't be missed.

"Jose's holding this concert thing," I say, that being the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Oh lovely! I haven't seen Jose in so long it will be lovely to hear him play. Do you think we could all go?

 _Shit._

"Mom it's really not a big thing."

"We get it," Ray explains. "You don't want us to come."

I grimace.

"That's okay honey," my mom says, reaching across and squeezing my hand. "There's always another day. I'm going to be here for a while. I'll probably have a bath and get an early night actually. I'm shattered."

I smile at her, grateful that she's dropped the subject.

 _The lies just keep on piling up._

* * *

After talking to my mom for a while more, I head upstairs to get ready. I take a long shower, making to shave all the important bits and wash my hair. The warm water feels good washing over me. It helps to relax all my nerves. Last night I made a decision to ask Christian just _how_ much time he needed. He can't expect me to just sit around waiting forever. Something needs to be done.

After my shower I blow dry my hair into long waves, apply makeup and ponder for way too long over what to wear. He says he's taking me to dinner and knowing Christian, it will be a very fancy expensive place so I decide to wear my red dress. It's a midi body-con ruffle Bardot style dress that hugs all the right places and makes me look at least twenty-one. I finish by applying some red lipstick and some nude Louboutin's I borrowed off Kate. I can't wait until the day I can afford my own nicer things. I procrastinate badly in order to delay going downstairs. My parents are bound to make a fuss and I'm already feeling nervous at is. Taking a deep breath and grabbing my clutch and overnight bag, I take one long look in the mirror before heading downstairs.

"Oh, Ana, you look amazing," my mom says, all teary eyed. Her hair is up and she's wearing one of Ray's old robes. "Can I have a picture?"

"Mom…"

"It'll only take a second!" She assures me running off to get her phone.

I indulge her and after hugging both of my parents, I make my way out. Since I'm supposed to be going to Jose's made up concert, I have to make my own way over to Christian's hotel suite where he'll be waiting. It doesn't take long to get there and Christian is waiting in the car park, leaning against his SUV as I park my car. He's dressed in a navy blue suit and his hair is slightly messy. I just want to kiss him all over. He approaches me as I get out and I watch his smirk widen into a grin.

"Let's get in the car quickly," I tell him. It's a bit earlier than we usually meet and people are bound to be out and about. Practically sprinting to his car, I buckle myself in and then we're off.

"You look absolutely stunning if it isn't obvious," he tells me sincerely, lifting my hand and pressing a kiss there.

"Thank you," I smile. "Where are we going?"

"To dinner," he replies, turning to face me.

I roll my eyes. "Go figure."

He raises an eyebrow. "You roll your eyes a lot. I've noticed that," he comments. Facing back toward the road, I watch as his sleeve rolls up slightly to reveal his expensive watch. Everything about him is luxurious. "Next time you do that, I may just have to punish you."

"What?" I laugh. "What do you mean punish me?"

"Spank you," he grins.

My eyes widen. "Is that from your kinky BDSM stuff?"

"No," he chuckles. He brings my hand again to his lips, his eyes still staying on the road. "I'd never do those things with you."

"Why not?" I ask, almost affronted. Not that I would want to however…

"Because you're not my submissive and I don't want you to be. I care about you Ana, very much so. You mean a lot to me. However, I don't see why I can't show you a few aspects. Only the pleasurable things of course. You'd be amazed at all of the things your body can feel." He places his free hand on my thigh and my breathing starts to get a little heavier.

"What kind of things?" I ask quietly.

"All sorts." He withdraws his hand and carries on driving, leaving me now thoroughly frustrated.

* * *

The place where Christian takes me for dinner is marvellous. With a modern interior, sparkling furniture shines from every surface and crystal chandeliers hang high casting down brilliant reflections onto the impeccable floor space.

"This is amazing," I say in wonder as we're led to a table by our waiter.

"Mr Grey," The waiter addresses him delightfully. "This way."

We're shown to a VIP private area upstairs in which there's nobody but the two of us. It's much more romantic up here and my eyes take in every detail. The lights are low, casting a hazy glaze around the blush red booth seats. We're shown to our table, cosy in the corner by a small fire.

"This is so nice," I tell Christian.

He smiles at me and looks up at the waiter. "Best white wine we've currently got and the five courses please Bob," he says politely.

Bob grins and runs off happily.

"You come here often?" I ask him, surprised he knew the waiter's name.

"Fairly often. It's my restaurant actually, did I mention that?"

" _Shut up."_

"It is," he chuckles.

"How many businesses do you own?" I ask, in disbelief.

"Quite a few."

"How did you get so successful?" I ask quietly.

"It was my only goal. I strove towards it every second of the day and I still do," he explains.

"Well, I'm very glad you succeeded," I tell him honestly.

Bob comes back a few seconds later bringing with him a large bottle of wine which he fills our glasses with.

"The food will be soon Mr Grey," he beams, before bowing and exiting again.

I'm amazed at the respect Christian commands. It's pretty intimidating. I take a sip of wine and he does the same, our eyes never leaving each other.

"How's your mother?" He asks, placing his glass down.

"The same as usual," I reply, mimicking his actions. "I've missed her though. I hated having to lie so badly to her about where I was going."

"It can be hard," he agrees. "I know the feeling."

"When are you going to tell her Christian?" I say quietly. "There wouldn't have to be any more lies."

"I'm speaking to a divorce lawyer right now and going through the finalisation of things. It's complicated."

"Did she sign a prenup?" I ask curiously, wondering if this could be the problem.

"She did," he confirms.

"Then what's the problem?"

Bob chooses to interrupt the moment with a tiny plate of what looks like two oysters and a side sauce.

"Have you ever had these?" Christian asks.

I shake my head. I haven't forgotten my train of thought however I shall save it for later.

"Let me show you how to eat them," he insists, coming to sit by me.

* * *

Dinner is absolutely delicious and I genuinely have a lovely evening. By dessert, (caramel panacota) I'm stuffed.

Christian doesn't pay, of course, and he wraps his arm around my waist as we make our way back to the car.

"I had a lovely time," I say, leaning into him.

He squeezes me in response. "Me too."

Once we're in the car, he immediately pulls me forward for a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck perhaps a little enthusiastically and kiss him back passionately.

"I've been waiting to do that all night," he says, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine. "You have no idea how amazing you look." His thumb brushes across my lip seductively. "This colour is _so_ sexy Ana."

I smirk and playfully bite his finger resting against my mouth. His eyes smoulder.

"What surprise did you get me?" I ask, suddenly remembering.

"I'll show you," he assures me and then his eyes turn to the road.

* * *

The hotel feels familiar already as we walk towards Christian's suite. Upon entering, I'm immersed in a warm glow. Fairy lights hang from the ceilings and it's _beautiful_.

"This is glorious," I say in wonder. "Did you do this?"

"I may have had some help," he smirks. "Hold on a second, I have a gift for you."

He runs off before I can even reply and retrieves something from a wardrobe drawer. I wait apprehensively as he hands me a small bag.

"What is it?" I ask nervously.

"Open it."

I finger the small bag with slightly shaky fingers to reveal a small Bulgari box. Inside, there lays a small rose gold ring. I look up at Christian immediately, feeling alarmed.

He steps forward and smiles gently.

"Hold out your hand," he insists.

"Christian, what-"

He reaches for my hand and slips the ring onto my fourth finger on my _right_ hand. "It's a promise ring," he explains. "That's all."

I breathe an instant sigh of relief as I examine the ring. "It's beautiful but what are you promising exactly?" I ask hesitantly.

"To always be there for you. To sort out all of this mess, to divorce Emma so we can be together. To show you that I'm serious about you." He's right in front of me now and lifts my face up to look into his eyes. He rubs my bottom lip with his thumb again. "You mean so much to me already."

I feel slightly hypnotised.

"A promise ring," I whisper, echoing his words.

He nods and encircles my waist, resting his hand on the small of my back. When he leans down to kiss me, I wrap my arms around his neck tightly and kiss him back with everything I have. By the time he moves down to my neck I'm heavy breathing. I feel his careful fingers unzipping my skin tight dress, slipping it off effortlessly. I'm wearing no underwear and I see his look of surprise as his hands roam the contours of my body.

"The dress is too tight to wear any underwear, it would show," I explain.

"I'm not complaining," he smirks.

I go to kick off my shoes but he stops me. "Keep them on and stay standing," he whispers seductively. Slowly, he starts to kiss down my body until he's on his knees in front of me. My heart starts to race as he's now at the apex of my thighs, kissing my thighs gently.

"Relax," he breathes.

I close my eyes and I'm completely not prepared when I feel his tongue wash over my clitoris. Gasping, I lean forward and hold onto his hair. He doesn't ease, his administrations get stronger and stronger until I almost can't stand. That's when Christian pushes me back on to the bed and lifts my legs onto his shoulders.

My mind is a blur, void of any coherent thought. I'm a mass of never ending sensation and intense pleasure. My red fingernails find the sheets to grip beneath them and my eyes flutter between open and closed. When I feel his fingers enter and start moving rapidly I know I'm done for. I scream loudly as the waves of my orgasm crash over me and Christian climbs back up on top of my body, shedding his clothes as he does so. I kick my shoes off and pull him down immediately, tasting my scent on his tongue. His hair is wonderfully soft between my finger tips and I watch as my ring glistens in the low lights.

"I want you," I breathe against his lips. "Now."

"Are you sure?" He murmurs against my hardened nipple.

" _Yes."_

* * *

The moonlight casts a heavenly glow on the room, along with the twinkling lights. Christian's scent invades every sense and his touch heightens every nerve in my body. I watch as he rolls the condom onto himself and I breathe deeply when he hovers over me and kisses my lips softly.

"I'll go slow," he says gently.

My mind is too occupied to say anything back. I grip onto him and tense in anticipation.

"Relax honey," he insists. "Don't tense, just relax."

He coaxes me into relaxation by kissing me so gently, so seductively, that it instantly turns me on again and I feel my body start to loosen. "There we go," he breathes. He lifts one of my legs onto his hip and I press my foot into the back of his thighs hard as my grip on his shoulders tighten. I am not prepared for the feeling of him entering me and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly as I feel him push through me slowly. _Fuck_. It hurts.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I'm going to stay still, try to relax."

I breathe in and out deeply as he kisses all over my face. Eventually, the pain subsides somewhat and is replaced with a feeling of being extremely _full_. As if he can sense the ease, Christian now starts to move slightly. It feels like his fingers do but much bigger and thicker.

"You feel amazing Ana." He gathers speed and as I feel myself getting wetter, it starts to feel a little nicer.

I kiss him hard, focusing on his lips and the taste of him I've come to love.

I have no idea how long we last, it feels like no time at all and I just want to stay here in his arms forever. Eventually, he comes and says my name as he does so. As he pulls out, he pulls me on top of his chest where I bury my face. I feel extremely…overwhelmed and vulnerable. He encases me in his arms and strokes my hair softly.

I fall asleep like that, listening to Christian's heartbeat, synchronising in time with my own.

* * *

 **please review xx**


	12. Chapter 12

_Sunday 6_ _th_ _October 2016_

Sex feels better the second time and by the third time, it actually starts to feel good. We're still laying in bed at almost noon, entwined between the sheets and each other.

"I don't want to get up," I tell Christian, as I wind my fingers through his hair. He looks so sexy in the mornings, with messy bed hair and no clothes.

"Me neither," he grins in reply, kissing my extremely puffy lips.

I've been kissing him practically all night and my body is aching all over as if I've just done a four-hour workout at the gym.

"I can't believe I'm not a virgin anymore," I breathe, a little overwhelmed that it's finally happened.

"I'm extremely happy you chose me worthy of experiencing your first time with you," Christian says with a smirk, running his fingers gently down my back.

I smile widely and look up at him. "I would never want anybody else."

"You feel like satin," he comments as he buries his face into my neck. "God, you're perfect Ana."

He looks up at me then and I reach for his hand, interlocking my fingers with his. "Name three places you'd like to visit the most in the world," he says randomly, throwing me off guard.

I giggle. "Why? Will you take me there?"

He nods. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go. I'll give you _anything_ you want Ana. Tell me, where have you always wanted to visit?"

I think for a moment. "England," I say first. "It's the place where all my favourite literary heroes lived. Jane Austen, Shakespeare, I think it would be magical."

He nods in agreement. "England is lovely, especially around Christmas time. I'll take you to London."

"Really?" I ask.

"Of course. Where else would you like to go?"

"Australia has always been on my wish list. It's just so hot with so many interesting things to see and do."

"Perfect summer holiday," he says. "And lastly?"

"Paris," I say quietly, a little flushed. "It's the city of-"

"Romance," he echoes, kissing my nose softly. "We can go there after England."

"You're the best," I say breathlessly, unable to contain my excitement. "I actually love you."

It takes me a few seconds to realise what I've just said and once I do I go a deep red and become extremely flustered, trying to avoid his eye contact. If he realises, he doesn't say anything which I'm grateful for. "I just think it'll be perfect, going to all those places with you," I clarify hurriedly. "Seeing all of those sights. Have you been to Paris and Australia?"

"I have," he responds, playing with my fingertips. "Only on business trips though."

"Have you been on vacation with Charlie?" I wonder.

"We took him to Disney World for the first time this summer in July. He's been to England also, last year, Spain and Barbados."

"He's five and been more places than me," I sigh.

Christian chuckles. "Not for long. Hopefully the next time he goes, you'll be coming with us."

And just like that the spell is broken and I'm skyrocketed back to reality. The reality in which Christian does not belong to me and he's still married to _her_.

"How is that going to work?" I whisper, wondering what on earth could possibly be running through his mind.

He shrugs. "I'm going to divorce Emma very soon. She'll go her way and I'll go mine, with you. We'll share joint custody with Charlie and he won't have to be raised with two unhappy parents anymore."

"That sounds lovely Christian," I say honestly. "However, don't you think it's a bit of a fantasy world? Do you truly think Emma's going to go so lightly?"

"Probably not," he agrees. "But I've been speaking to my lawyer. You were right, she can't just take full custody of Charlie. Especially when I'm actually the one who cares for him most. She works practically 24/7."

"She does," I reply. "She barely sees him."

"The sad thing is," he acknowledges, "I think that when it really comes down to things, she won't _want_ to have full custody of him. If she does, it will be out of spite. That's why I want to end it soon, before anyone finds out about us. If she knows about you, it'll be in revenge and trust me, she will do everything in her power to try and get it. Even if she doesn't win, our lives will be a living nightmare."

"You're hoping she'll be more agreeable if she thinks the relationship has fizzled out?" I confirm. "Instead of knowing you've found somebody else."

He nods.

"I agree. But what about after? I mean, she'll find out eventually."

"I don't care about later," he says. "I just want my son," he then kisses me again. "And _you_."

* * *

It's another half an hour before we eventually get out of bed and order room service. Afterwards, we take a shower together which is an enthralling experience.

"You're so small," Christian teases as he stares down at me.

"Shut up," I retort.

He watches as the water pours down my body and traces a droplet between my breasts. After staring at me for what seems like an eternity, he abruptly lifts me up. I squeal as I lock my legs around his waist.

He presses my back into the wall and kisses me hard. It's so erotic, I become very wet instantly. The water cascades over us and Christian looks even sexier if that's possible. Between our heated kisses, his hand slides down between my legs and I moan his name.

"Mhmm, very wet," he comments. "And I don't think it's the shower."

"It's definitely you," I sigh. " _Please_."

"Please what?"

"Fuck me," I whisper, blushing.

"Anastasia," he chides. "I better wash that mouth out with soap."

I pull him closer, tugging slightly on his hair.

"I can't baby," he says regretfully. "I haven't got a condom."

I scowl.

"You could see about birth control," he suggests.

I nod. I will. I will not be denied the opportunity of having this hot shower sex with Christian ever again. Instead, he fingers me until I orgasm and then we wash each other's hair and bodies before getting out and ready.

"What are you doing for the rest of the day?" I ask as I blow dry my hair.

"Just going to play with Charlie," he replies. "Emma will probably be giving herself a pamper day."

I make a face at the sound of her name and he raises his eyebrows.

"What?" I ask childishly.

"I _am_ still married to her Ana. We live in the same house and have a child together. I am going to have to mention her at times."

"Doesn't mean I like it," I retort.

We finish getting ready and I feel upset once again at our parting. I don't want him to go back home to her. I want him with me.

"Ready?" He asks me as I put my shoes on.

I nod. He then pulls me up and presses his lips to mine, cradling my face in his hands.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says quietly.

"You'll be home first?" I ask.

He nods. "I'm cutting back on so many excess hours. I want to be there for Charlie and I don't want to be a bad father. I know he needs me."

I smile and kiss him again. "You're a great father Christian," I assure him. "Charlie thinks the world of you."

He tucks my hair behind my ear. "Thank you," he murmurs. "That means a lot to me."

We leave the hotel a few moments later, Christian ushering me out toward the car. While walking through the car park however I feel him place his hand on the small of my back and move in front of me.

"Put your head down Ana," he instructs in a serious voice.

I do as he says immediately, feeling myself tense.

He tries to hide me with his body as best he can and ushers me into the car quickly once we get there.

"Keep your head down, sit lower in your seat," he demands. I do as he says and don't look up until we're out of the car park.

"Was that-"

"Paparazzi," he spits. "Yes."

I feel all shaky. "I didn't know the paparazzi follow you."

"Occasionally," he replies, his eyes never leaving the road. "If there's no celebrities in the area and it looks like I'm doing something interesting. Worthy of a story. They're vultures."

"You don't think they got anything do you?" I whisper.

"I don't know," he sighs. "If this gets out it's going to destroy everything I'm planning. I'm going to have to call it quits with Emma sooner than I thought."

Even though I know how stressed he is, and I hate seeing him this way, I can't deny the little burst of happiness that shoots through me at him having to end things with her soon.

The rest of the journey is silent and tense and with a quick kiss goodbye, he leaves me a block away from my house, staring after him until he's a dot in the distance.

* * *

The rest of my Sunday is less eventful. I have dinner and a quiet evening with my mom in which she grills me on every aspect of my life.

"So, is there any cute boys you have your eye on?" She asks as she paints her nails crimson.

"Mom."

"What? Can't I ask? I am allowed to be interested in my own daughter," she complains.

I sigh. "No, there isn't."

Christian is a man so it's technically _not_ a lie.

"At your age I was in my first serious relationship," she says dreamily. "Martin Johnson, captain of the football team. I'd dated him since we were fifteen and I thought we'd last forever."

"What happened?" I ask her.

"He went off to college and we lost contact," she shrugs. "I've been such a failure with my relationships Ana." She adds, now looking at me seriously. "I'd never want the same for you honey so just…be careful okay?"

I nod. "I'll try," I say weakly.

* * *

Later on in my room I stare out of the window and close my eyes as I breathe in the chilly night air. I'm transported back to last night and immerse myself in the feelings of Christian's lips on my own and his hands all over my body. I want to be with him right now and every single night forever. The feelings I have for him are frightening because I never thought it was possible to feel this way about somebody before. I just want to be with him all the time. Holding my ring up to the moonlight I stare at it and think about the words he told me as he gave it to me. I want to tell Kate and Jose but I have a feeling what Kate's answer will be already. She hates the idea of me with Christian and part of me sees why, but he truly does make me happy so shouldn't that be enough?

Clearly not.

Closing my window, I get dressed for bed, wishing I was back in the hotel suite wrapped in Christian's arms. Just as I'm about to switch my lights off though, I get a facetime call from Kate. I answer and I see her sat on her bed with a face full of alarm and panic.

"Kate?" I ask, afraid.

"Ana," she cries. "Have you seen TMZ?"

"What?" I say, confused.

"TMZ Ana!" She shouts. "There's pictures of you and Christian leaving some swanky hotel together."

I don't fully comprehend what she's saying immediately. My mind draws a blank and I go numb.

"There's a short story about you being a mystery woman. Christian is clear but you're kind of covered so it's hard to make out who you are. I thought you were being careful. Are you okay? Ana?"

I'm off the bed and walking over to my desk where I open my laptop. Robotically, I search Christian's name and the TMZ article is the first thing to crop up. I feel sick as I click onto it. Pictures of Christian flood the page and he's clear as day, standing in front of my body while my head is down. My face is partially covered by him but my body is visible. Frozen, I read the article.

 _CEO Billionaire Christian Grey spotted outside Four Seasons early afternoon leaving with mystery brunette woman. Did Mrs Emma Grey swap her blonde locks for a darker look? We don't think so. Standing several inches shorter than Mrs Grey and sporting a toned slender physique, mystery woman appears to be much younger than Mr Grey's counterpart. Date or business deal? Simply a friend?..._

Unable to read anymore, I close the laptop with a bang and stand up again. I feel as though I can't breathe as I collapse back onto my bed.

"Ana?" Kate whispers. "I'm coming round okay honey? Jose and I will be there in half an hour. Everything will be fine."

I can't even concentrate on what she's saying. I turn around into my pillow and cry.

* * *

 **Dot dot dot… eek! Please review!xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

**IMPORTANT A/N – Hey guys, my Christmas story 'A Boyfriend For Christmas' has been nominated in the FSOG Top Five stories for the January Subcategory 'Holiday stories' ! Please join the group on FB and vote if you want to! It would mean a lot and I hope you all had a fantastic holidays. Elizabeth xoxo**

* * *

 _Sunday 6_ _th_ _October 2016_

"I can't believe this is happening," I say as I sit on my bed sipping on a mug of chamomile tea. My face is red from crying and Jose and Kate are sitting on either side of me.

They've been consoling me for nearly an hour and the tears have finally stopped, however I'm still shaking.

"Has he contacted you yet?" Jose asks for the hundredth time.

I glance down at my phone, shaking my head.

"Maybe he doesn't know yet," Kate suggests.

"He knows," I whisper. "He suspected it earlier on. I just _know_ he knows."

"Then why hasn't he called or messaged?"

"I don't know," I snap.

"Why were you in a hotel in the afternoon?" She asks, ignoring my annoyance.

"I stayed," I reply.

"Did you…"

"Yes. We had sex. I lost my virginity to him and he gave me this promise ring," I show it to them and Jose grabs hold of it.

"It's beautiful," he smiles.

"You had sex," Kate repeats.

I nod.

"How was it?" She asks thoughtfully. "I know it was a big deal for you."

"It was everything I could have wanted," I say, tears springing to my eyes again. "And now… I have no idea what's going to happen."

"He'll sort it all out Ana," she promises, taking hold of my hand. "I know he will."

It's another half hour before Christian calls. I answer it on the first ring and sprint to my bathroom, shutting it behind me.

"I'm so sorry," I say immediately. "I never…"

"Shh Ana," he says, quietening me. "Let me speak."

"Sorry," I murmur.

"We're in a mess," he admits. His voice is tired and heavy. "But it's my fault, I should have been more careful, took you further away."

I don't speak.

"We're going to ignore it and not comment. Defending myself straight away will just arouse more suspicion. My sister, Mia, is coming here tomorrow for a while and I'm going to be seen out with her in public. Now the paparazzi are on my back, they'll be photographing me

and they'll see that _mystery woman_ was really her and leave me alone."

I don't quite what to say. It's brilliant yet… "does she look like me?" I ask, confused.

"Well, the pictures only show the back and side of you so you can't see your face," he explains. "She's small like you and also agreed to dye her hair dark brown. We owe a lot to her."

"We do," I say hurriedly. "She's amazing. What did you tell her?"

"The truth," he sighs. "She wasn't happy of course but she'd do anything to help me. She wants to meet you."

"Why?" I ask, afraid.

"She says she wants to meet the woman I'm risking everything for. I suppose I owe her that but Ana…we're going to have to not see each other for a while. Emma doesn't know anything yet but she will soon and even though Mia will be here she'll be suspicious."

I knew this was coming but even so, the words cut me like a knife.

"How long's a while?" I choke.

"I don't know. Until I sort all this out…"

"You act like I'm some sort of problem," I say, feeling anger rise to the surface. "Something you need to sort out, something you need to fix. We have sex for the very first time last night and now you want to take a break."

"We need to!" He says, his own temper rising.

"That doesn't make it hurt any less!" I cry. "It's not fair."

"Ana…I have to go."

"Of course you do," I say bitterly, unable to control myself. "Emma coming to bed?"

He doesn't answer which I take as yes.

"I can't even believe you're still sleeping with her in the same bed," I say.

"What do you want me to do?" He asks. "I don't want her to be suspicious. It will ruin everything."

"Maybe you're the one ruining everything," I retort. "It's you cheating, not her. Maybe you should have decided what you really wanted before you started a relationship with me. How do you think I feel? Knowing every-time you leave me you're going back to her. The same lips that are kissing me are kissing her. The only relief I have is knowing it won't be long until I see you again and now we don't even have that."

"Ana, I'm sorry. I have to go," he says seriously. "I'll be home tomorrow first. We can talk then. Goodbye," and with that, he hangs up the phone.

* * *

 _Monday 7_ _th_ _October 2016_

I pick Charlie up from school and drive home straight away today. I most likely look every bit as I feel due to him asking if I'm okay.

"I'm fine sweetie," I reply, forcing a smile at him through the rear-view mirror.

My hair is on the top of my hair in a bun and I've got no makeup on. I must look alien to him.

After the phone call last night, I curled up with Kate and Jose until I'd cried myself to sleep and then this morning, I woke up determined not to cry again over Christian Grey. I'd made my decision and so I dressed robotically and dried my eyes. If he can't make his own decisions yet, then I'm just going to have to make them for him.

* * *

Charlie and I colour, complete puzzles and watch TV until I put him to bed. It's a pretty quiet today but I'm proud of myself for managing to hold it together. At 8 o clock, Christian comes in looking thoroughly exhausted. He enters the lounge where I'm standing, already in my coat and shoes. I want him to know I'm not staying.

"Emma bought the story about Mia, she's _'coming from the hotel'_ tonight to stay" he says in air quotes. "She'll be here any minute now." He glances at his watch. "Emma won't be back for a while. Sit down and have a drink."

'I'm not staying," I tell him.

He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs before flopping down on the chair opposite me.

"Please Ana," he says, irritated. "I've just sorted out this entire mess for us and it's been so stressful. Cut the attitude, won't you?"

"That's the problem Christian," I say, fed up. "When you have to constantly use words such as _mess_ and _stressful_ when describing our relationship. This isn't what it's supposed to be like."

He begins to interrupt but I silence him. "The first word you said to me today was _Emma_. I know you have to mention her, I know you have to work things out, I get that honestly I do. But what happened yesterday was just a taster of what could happen if we stay together. Things could blow up and I can't risk that. Not for me, not for Charlie, but most importantly not for you. I don't want your life ruined because of me."

He stands up now, moving closer to me.

"You could never ruin my life," he says.

"I can," I nod. "If Emma finds out and gets full custody of Charlie. I can't let that happen to him or you and so I need to stop being selfish."

I move closer to him, taking hold of his hand in mine. He looks down at me with confused eyes.

"Being with you has been the best time of my life," I say. "I never thought I'd find someone like you but it's too risky and until you divorce Emma, this has to be the end."

"Ana, we don't need-"

"We do," I say, squeezing his hand. "I've been holding onto you so much because I can't bear the thought of losing you but I _have_ to. For all of us, I have to."

"You're leaving me," he says, withdrawing his hand and pacing the floor.

Hearing him say it out loud like that immediately brings back my tears.

"I don't want to," I cry.

"And what about this?" He gestures to his house. "Your job? You're just going to leave Charlie too?"

"I don't have a choice," I whisper. "It's the best for everyone right now. I can't be here, seeing you everyday, seeing you with her and not being able to kiss you or be with you. It's too painful."

Tears fall freely from my eyes now and when I look up at him, I swear I can see them in his own too.

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his chest tightly.

"You'll tell Emma I'm leaving to find another job that's less demanding right? I'll send an email too."

"Yes," he assures me. "Don't worry about it." His voice is void of all emotion and when he runs his fingers through my hair, sobs wrack my body.

I stain his t-shirt with my tears as I cry uncontrollably. Christian then pulls me back to wipe them away with his thumbs.

A tear falls down his cheek as he kisses my forehead.

"This isn't the end," he whispers.

It feels like _more_ than the end of him and I. Right now, it feels as though my whole word has ended. I have to pull back before I fall with the weight of this pain that's crushing me.

"Ana-" he says brokenly as I begin to walk away.

I walk toward the door fast, my path blurred, feeling my heart break with every single step.

* * *

 **Short chapter but super important! Next longer Update will be up within a few days xx Please review xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

_15_ _th_ _November 2016_

I'm relieved when the clock strikes eight and I can _finally_ hang up my apron.

"Finished Ana?" James, my co-worker and friend asks.

I nod, smiling, and fix my ponytail.

He hangs up his own apron too and grins. "Me too, do you fancy going for a coffee somewhere or something?" He says hopefully.

I smile awkwardly. He's a really nice guy, truly, but he definitely _isn't_ Christian Grey.

It's been over a month since we broke up and it's been extremely hard. I got a job as a waitress at a bustling restaurant in town and have generally just been trying to move on with my life. I've also began planning out and writing my novel which has been a nice distraction. It's a love story, kind of parallel to my own life and it takes a lot of concentration. I've had no contact with Christian whatsoever and there's been no rumours of divorce. I have no choice but to take it that he never really intended to divorce her anytime soon.

As James looks expectantly at me for an answer, I look him over. He's tall and blonde with a kind face. He's also nineteen, like me. I don't have any plans tonight and so I just decide to go for it. What's the worst that could happen?

"Sure," I say.

"Fantastic," he nods happily.

* * *

It's cold outside as we walk down the road to a lovely little Starbucks. I fold my arms against my chest and he offers me his coat. I shake my head. "I'll be okay," I assure him. I'm vaguely transported back to the magical gardens in which Christian wrapped his over me and I have to shake away the memories. Once we're inside, the toasty warmth and fresh smell of brewed coffee washes over me. I unwrap my scarf as we approach the counter and glance at the menu.

"I'll just have a hot chocolate please," I say.

"I'll have the same," James says kindly.

"Marshmallows and chocolate powder?" Asks the waitress.

"Yes please," we say in unison.

After we collect our drinks, we settle down in a corner seat booth which is admittedly very cosy.

"So, Ana, how are you finding work?" James asks, taking a sip of his drink. I do the same and it warms my insides.

"Great, it's pretty busy, which is good," I say.

"You like busy?"

"Keeps me distracted," I say honestly.

"What's troubling you?" He asks thoughtfully.

I shrug. I'm not really ready to talk to anybody new about Christian right now.

"Stressed I guess."

He nods in understanding. "Starting college next year?"

"Yes," I say.

"Studying?"

"English literature," I reply. "Earlier on in the year though…I felt so sure of what I wanted to do, now I don't even know anymore."

"You're feeling lost," he acknowledges.

"I guess I am," I grimace.

Suddenly, a burst of cold air washes over us and looking up, I see it's just another customer entering.

A customer who's wearing an extremely familiar coat with an extremely familiar hair style. My breath catches in my throat and I feel my heart stop.

"Ana? You okay?" James asks, but I can't hear him. All I can see is _him_ , standing at the counter and ordering. I feel as though I'm going to faint and almost like he knows I'm here too, he glances over and stares straight at me.

His eyes pierce into mine and James turns around, following my gaze.

"Do you know that guy?" He asks.

I nod and finally move my eyes away, back down to my chocolate. I'm not prepared for the feelings I'm having at seeing him again and it's taking everything in me to hold myself together right now. I smell his aftershave before I realise he's in front of me.

"Hello Anastasia," he says quietly. "How are you?"

I look up at him, speechless. _God I've missed his voice_. I feel as though I could cry.

"I'm Ana's former boss," Christian explains to James. "And you are?"

"We work together," James says hesitantly.

I watch as Christian glances down at my hand, specifically the finger on which he placed the promise ring I no longer wear.

"Do you like your new job Ana?" He asks me abruptly.

"Sure," I finally manage. "It's going good. Uh, how is Charlie?"

One of the hardest parts of breaking up with Christian was leaving the little boy I had come to love.

"He's great."

Everything's quiet then for a very long awkward moment.

"I better get going," Christian finally says, coffee in hand. "I'll leave you to your date." I can detect the bitterness in his voice through his forced tone. "Goodbye."

And with that, he's gone, slamming the door behind him.

James takes a big swig of his hot chocolate and chuckles to himself. "That was weird. I take it you didn't get on with your last boss?"

"Something like that," I murmur.

I swirl the leftover dregs of my hot chocolate, suddenly feeling very cold inside.

"You feeling okay Ana?" James asks kindly, taking hold of my hand and rubbing my knuckle with his thumb.

I look up at him, feeling grateful for him being here with me right now.

"Do you…maybe want to come over to mine for a bit? We can just hang out, get to know each other," I say suddenly, not recognising the words coming from my own mouth.

"Oh, okay, sure," James says, evidently surprised. "Your parents won't mind will they?"

"My dad's working," I shrug. "My mom's pretty welcoming."

At first, I thought my mom would be here for a few weeks _max_. Instead, she sent for her things from Cali and has moved in permanently. Her and my dad are definitely sleeping together again but they won't say anything just yet, not that I care much. I can only deal with one rollercoaster at a time.

And so we walk back to the car park at work and drive back to mine in my car. James looks slightly nervous and I realise that this is very forward behaviour, however I don't have too much time to ponder it as I pull up. As predicted, my mom is in the lounge sipping coffee with her hair in rollers. She's looking much younger and brighter these days which I'm happy about.

"Oh!" She says, upon seeing James.

"Mom, this is James, he's my friend from work," I explain. "James, this is my mom Carla."

"Nice to meet you ma'am," James says politely, shaking her hand.

"Call me Carla," she smiles at him.

"We're just going to hang out for a bit," I say to her. "That's okay right?"

"Of course honey, let me know if you need a drink or anything."

And with that, we head on upstairs.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I ask James, as he sits on the end of my bed.

"Sure."

"Are you sure you want to be here?" I ask, sensing his nervousness.

He takes my hand and pulls me close to him. "I do Ana," he says honestly. "I'm just surprised is all."

 _Me too._

* * *

We decide to put on Dead pool and sit on my bed, eating salted popcorn as we watch. It's awkward but not in a good way. It just feels as though two people who don't know each-other have been left in the room while the mutual friend goes to the bathroom.

"What made you decide to invite me over?" James asks, half an hour through.

I turn toward him. "I don't know, I thought we could hang out."

He looks at me for a moment and I look back at him, into his eyes. Without thinking, I lean forward and kiss him. His lips are warm but unfamiliar and as the kiss deepens and he encircles me in his arms I realise that his arms don't feel the same. The pressure on my skin is not what I'm used to and _It's all wrong_. I break away suddenly and he looks at me in utter confusion and bewilderment.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, turning off the movie and moving to stand up. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" He asks, alarmed.

"This," I gesture between us.

He sits up.

"I shouldn't have invited you over, I'm so sorry. I thought I could move on but I can't."

"Move on?"

I nod. "From my last boyfriend."

He stands in front of me and takes my hand. "That's okay Ana, trust me, I completely understand. I'm in the same situation."

I look up at him in relief. "I'm sorry," I say again. "You're a great guy-"

"And you're a great girl," he interrupts with a smile. "And I hope we can be friends."

I smile. "Of course."

"I'll see you at work tomorrow," he says gently, and with that, he's gone.

* * *

I feel exhausted in the morning and I'm very grateful I don't have work today. Last night seems like a blur. Seeing Christian, inviting James over to my house...it's just all very strange and not at all like me. I'm glad it's over.

As I make my way downstairs for breakfast, a glance at the clock tells me it's 12pm and my mom is already dressed for the day.

"How did last night go?" She asks, leaning against the counter as I pour out my cereal.

I shrug. "We're just friends mom. We watched a movie."

"He's handsome," she smiles. "And seems like such a lovely polite boy."

" _Friends_ ," I say again pointedly as I sit down.

"Well, it seems he may want to be more than friends," she smirks, returning to the lounge.

Two seconds later she comes back carrying an enormous bouquet of pink roses and my eyes widen instantly.

"Are they for me?" I ask.

"Yes," she beams, handing them to me.

They are absolutely beautiful and each one is pristine and clipped to perfection. Tucked deep inside, there's a note.

 _It's over. Call me. Yours truly - C x_

I tuck it quickly back inside in case my mom sees.

"Aren't they beautiful?" She admires. "And so expensive! He must have spent a lot on them. Oh it's so romantic Ana."

"I'm gonna go and put them upstairs in water," I say quickly, departing up the stairs and locking my door behind me.

Once again, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. What does he mean it's over? Him and Emma? He wants me to call him...

And so after hesitating for almost ten minutes, I finally call his number as I hold my breath. He answers on a few rings.

"Ana," he breathes.

"Christian."

"You got my flowers."

"You know I did."

 _Silence_.

"It's over Ana," Christian finally says.

"What do you mean?" I ask quietly.

"Last night, after seeing you...I realized that I couldn't take it anymore. Being away from you and trying to work things out have been awful... but seeing you on a date with that dick was my worst fucking nightmare. You're _mine_." The way he says that is possessive and not wanting to admit it to myself, I find it a very big turn on.

"I just told her I was filing for a divorce," he finishes.

"Why didn't you do it sooner?" I ask. "It's been ages Christian."

"I know," he sighs. "I've been going over with my lawyers again and again making sure she can't take him away from me. I've also been deciding what's going to happen with the house, the cars...I bought everything."

I stay quiet.

"I've moved out," he says next. "I've agreed to let her keep the house. She picked everything out in it anyway, none of it was my ideas, and it's still Charlie's home."

"Where are you staying?" I ask, feeling overwhelmed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm at my hotel suite at the moment but I'll look for a house soon."

There's so many questions running through my mind, so many thoughts, I feel as though they're all about to burst through.

"How is Emma?" I finally ask, fearing the answer.

"Furious," he laughs humourlessly. "She knows our marriage was doomed since day one yet is still intent on pretending there was something there."

"What is she going to do?"

"I have no idea Ana but she did threaten to ruin me. It's early days. I don't care anymore though. If she tries to ruin me, you can bet I'll _ruin_ _her_."

"Oh Christian…" I'm worried now. What on earth is she going to try and do to him? She's such a bitch!

"How's Charlie?" I ask when he stays quiet.

"He doesn't really know that anything has happened yet," he explains. "I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about it."

"Who's been looking after him while I was gone?" I wonder.

"We had to hire another nanny. Forty something year old woman named Lizzie who he likes. Nowhere near as much as you though. He misses you, as do I."

I'm quiet again.

"What's going to happen now?" I eventually murmur.

"I can't tell you what happens tomorrow, or the day after that, or even in a few _hours_ from now. What I can tell you though, is that you mean _everything_ to me Ana and I want to be with you, right now. If you quickly throw on some clothes and walk a few blocks down, you'll see I'm waiting for you."

* * *

 **IMPORTANT A\N: Please review and let me know your thoughts! So I've wrote a scene from Christian's POV where he breaks up with Emma after he sees Ana at starbucks and she threatens him. It's a juicy scene, however I'm refraining from posting it here because I want this story to be Ana's POV and not jumbled up with different POV'S throughout. I have decided that I will be doing more of these Christian POV's and you can get access to the first one on my new facebook page I've made for my fanfiction stories. My name is 'Elizabeth T Diaries FF' on there and it is the ONLY place where you will be able to get access to these exclusive Christian's POV scenes/chapters, outfits, pictures and various other things. So just type it in and press like. Hope to see you over there. Happy new year to all! Love always xoxo**


	15. NOT A CHAPTER

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N – NOT AN UPDATE**

 **Facebook has decided to be a total ass and review my account because of the large following/activity in just a few days which is ridiculous. I have decided to move the page over to my own website with no rules/regulations and so that everybody who hasn't been able to get access to the facebook page will now no longer have to miss out. Super sorry for the inconvenience, hopefully with my own website they'll be no further hiccups.**

 **Link to the website is in my profile and it's going to be much easier/accessible than fb so head on over there where you will be able to continue to interact with me. I also want to say a huge thank you! In less than a day the page already had almost 200 likes which is just incredible and hopefully the new site will be even more fun, easy and active. Thanks for your patience and a chapter will be coming soon. xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

_Sunday 16_ _th_ _November 2016_

I throw on jeans, converse and a sweater in a frenzy, taming my hair into submission at the same time with a brush. I grab my phone and with that, I'm out of the door.

"Ana?" My mom says.

"I'm going to spend the day with James," I say, much to her delight.

She can't know the truth. Not right now. There's still so much to figure out, so much to deal with.

I shut the door behind me.

It's freezing as I walk down the road and I curse myself for not bringing a coat but I see him almost immediately and sprint to the car. Opening the door is like stepping back home. The clean car scent and radiating warmth course through me and for a moment, we just look at one another. But then it hits me. He's here, in front of me, wearing a blue turtle neck jumper and looking intently into my eyes. I've missed him more than anything and so instinctively, I wrap my arms around him tightly, inhaling him deeply.

I never want to let go.

He reciprocates, burying himself into the crook of my neck, kissing me softly. I run my fingers through his hair, feeling the silkiness under my fingertips.

"Christian…" I murmur. "I've missed you so much."

He kisses across my collarbone longingly. "You have no idea," he murmurs back. "We have so much to discuss, so much to do," he pulls back, running his hands through my hair.

"But first, I need you." His eyes are smouldering.

And right now in this moment, he's all I need as well. I want him to undress me, devour every inch of me, make me forget my own name.

"Hurry up back to the hotel," I breathe.

* * *

We get back to the hotel quickly and once inside the room, Christian pins me against the wall, crushing his lips to mine heavily. I kiss him back instantly, pulling at his sweater in a frenzy while he does the same. He manages to tug mine off first and breaks away from my lips to attack my breasts, clad in an old t-shirt bra.

"Fuck, I've missed you," he sighs, expertly unclasping and discarding it on the floor.

Taking my nipple in his mouth, I moan his name and pull my fingers through his hair roughly.

"Hurry up," I squirm.

He smirks in response and we're all heavy breathing and messy kisses as we undress completely.

Sliding his fingers in my body and rubbing my clit furiously, he sucks hard on my neck and instructs me to lift my arms in the air.

"Above your head," he insists.

In this moment, with the sensations coursing through my body, I don't care about anything but feeling his skin against mine. I'll do anything he wants.

"I think you're ready for me," he says, withdrawing his fingers.

Without warning, he places them in my mouth.

"Taste how good you are."

I lick them slowly, closing my eyes, revelling in how hot this all is. It tastes salty but Christian's fingers in my mouth is just so erotic. And then without warning, he lifts me and tightens my thighs around my waist, plunging into me without warning.

I cry out, my hands automatically coming down. I grab him, burying my face in his neck, biting him softly in time with his thrusts. His grunts make me even wetter and when he hits my g-spot, I hold on to him tightly, screaming loudly.

"Christian…" I cry.

Christian fucks me harder and harder until I feel myself coming. Pinned tightly against the wall and the heat of his glorious body, I'm a writhing mess. One of his hands hold tightly onto my ass, and one kneads my breasts.

"You're close," he growls. "Come on."

He presses a finger hard against my clit and I'm done for. We come at the same time, together. He feels so so wonderful inside of me and I scream his name. It feels so good I could cry. Christian does not stop until I've fully reached the height of my orgasm and by the time he lets me down, my legs are shaking. He steadies me, looking down into my eyes as my heart rate starts to slow.

Wordlessly, he takes my hand and leads me over to the bed where we lie down, enclosed in eachother and the soft blankets. The sunlight streams over us as he runs his fingers across my belly gently. The moment is beautiful and I want to freeze it forever.

"Did you like the flowers I sent?" He asks quietly.

"They were beautiful," I say softly.

He smiles. "What have you been up to the past month?"

"I started my new job. I've also been writing a book."

"Really?" He asks.

I nod.

"That's amazing, what's it about?"

"A love story," I blush. "I kind of based it on us."

"You're adorable, I want to read it," he says lovingly, caressing my cheeks. "I'll publish it for you," he then promises.

"How do you know it's any good?" I giggle.

"Because you wrote it," he smirks, leaning in to kiss my neck.

I'm sensitive and tingly all over so when he kisses there I shudder with pleasure.

"I can't wait to divorce Emma and marry you," he says against my skin.

I momentarily still and lift his head to look at him.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"When I divorce Emma," he says simply. He tucks a fallen piece of hair behind my ear where he continues to stroke it. "I want to marry you."

"Is that a proposal?" I ask shakily.

He shakes his head, chuckling. "No. When I propose you'll _know_ about it. I'm just saying, for the future. There's never going to be anyone I want more than you Ana. You're quite literally the woman of my dreams, cheesy as that sounds."

"And so are you," I reply, taking his face in my hand and kissing him hard.

I roll myself on top of him, both hands on his cheeks now and kiss him with all I have. My centre is aligned with his cock, which is already rock hard again in anticipation.

"You wanna try?" He asks.

I nod against his lips and he helps ease me down on to him. I'm wet enough that he slides in with easily and I gasp with every inch that I take him in deeper.

With his hands on my hips, he moves me up and down, meeting me with each thrust. This position is so intimate, so deep, I can feel every glorious inch of him. My hands automatically press against his chest for support and I can't help but notice the hiss that escapes him. Looking down, I see that his eyes are closed and teeth gritted. My hands fly to his face again.

"Did I hurt you?" I ask.

"No," he shakes his head. "Just continue baby."

He thrusts upwards and I keep a steady pace until we both come again. I breathe heavily into his mouth.

"That was hard work," I say.

He laughs. "Wait till you see what I've got planned for you in the future."

I collapse onto his chest, remembering his reaction earlier. I also remember a time before, when I had tried to caress his chest and he had resisted.

"Christian, do you not like me touching your chest," I ask quietly.

He stiffens beneath me and I look up at him, slowly caressing his long eyelashes delicately. "You can tell me anything," I promise.

"I don't mind...not with _you_. But sometimes I'm unprepared."

I softly stroke his face, waiting for an explanation. He sighs heavily, closing his eyes.

"I was adopted as a child. My mother was a drug addict...I have no idea who my father was. Her boyfriend used to beat me."

Whatever I had been expecting, it certainly hadn't been that. I look up at him, pure shock covering my expression.

"My chest..." He continues. "Sometimes he'd burn out cigarettes there. I was rescued though. My mother died of an overdose some years later."

Tears immediately come to my eyes. "Christian..." I whisper brokenly.

He strokes my hair and manages a small smile. "Don't cry Ana, it's over," he assures me.

I bury my face in his neck where I continue to cry softly. This beautiful man...who could do such awful things to a child? I feel my heart breaking for Christian the boy, imagining the pain he was going through.

"I'm so sorry," I cry.

"I was rescued, adopted into the most loving family. Grace, my mother, means everything to me. And my father, Carrick. They provided me with love, they gave me everything a child could have ever dreamed of."

I feel consoled somewhat, but still not fully. Wanting to show him the depth of my feelings for him, I look deeply into his eyes, seeing my own reflection shining brightly in the glimmers of his pupils. And then I bend down, kissing under his neck softly, licking, sucking, biting... so gently yet seductively.

"God Ana," he breathes.

I continue my path down, stopping tentatively at his chest.

"When I touch you here, it's with all the love and tenderness I have," I whisper, tracing his nipple with my tongue before sucking softly. "Always."

I then trace the definition of his chest muscles with my fingertips, and this time when I look up at him, his facial expressions are one of pleasure and not hesitation. When I reach my destination, I lick slowly, teasingly, before taking him back to paradise.

* * *

Daylight is ebbing away and dusk approaching by the time we resurface from the soft sheets. My belly rumbles and Christian chuckles, placing his hand there.

"Someone's hungry," he comments.

"The only meal I've had today is you," I grin, pulling him forwards for a kiss.

I just can't stop kissing and touching him. It's like a drug. I'm addicted to him.

He kisses me back briefly before pulling away and sitting up, bringing me with him.

"How about some room service?" He asks. "Then, a bath."

"Sounds amazing," I agree.

And so that's what we do. We eat lobster, fries, garlic bread and chocolate cake naked in bed while watching friends on the giant TV.

"I can't believe you've never watched this before," I say in surprise.

He shrugs. "I rarely watch TV. I'm always so busy."

"Well, I'm going to introduce you. First friends, my favorite. Then, once upon a time, gossip girl. The list is endless."

"Fantastic," he grimaces and I laugh.

After that, we take a bath together in the enormous tub. Christian pours all sorts of expensive salts and bath bombs into the warm bubbly water and it feels like heaven once we both get in. I lean back against his chest while he wraps his arms around me.

"This is lovely," I breathe in the gorgeous scent of the bath, feeling extremely content.

"Watch the bath tub I'm going to have in my new house," Christian says, making patterns on my belly under the water. "It's going to be out of this world. I know you love baths."

"When are you planning on that by the way?" I ask curiously. "Getting your new house?"

"As soon as possible," he says. "I need to have Charlie moving in with me ASAP. I've already looked at a few properties but none of them have wowed me. I'd ideally _love_ to move out of Seattle."

"Your headquarters is here," I note.

"I know," he kisses the top of my head. "I'm thinking of having a new headquarters in the future. New York perhaps. You'd love it there."

"You want to move to New York?" I ask.

He nods. "It's a move i'm planning on in the future. I'll leave my offices here of course, for everyone else's jobs, but I'll take my top staff over there with me."

"Living in New York...that would be amazing," I agree.

"But for now...I'm going to get somewhere here. Quite far away from Emma preferably. You're planning on going to Washington university, right?"

"Yes," I say, somewhat hesitantly.

He detects the hesitancy in my tone. "Having second thoughts?" He asks curiously.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it for a while. I really just want to write these days. Do I even need to go to college for that? Also, I'm probably going to have to live at home since the accommodation is so expensive and I'm so near." I sigh. "I just don't know."

"Ana, if you want help with accommodation you know I'll give it to you. Alternatively, you can always come and live with me," he replies.

He then tilts my head back to place a kiss to my lips tenderly.

"Think about it," he whispers into my mouth. "We have a while to go. Just think about it."

I nod and deepen the kiss.

* * *

As night falls, I send my mom a text that I'm staying with Jose. I know she thinks I'm staying with James but she tells me to have a great time nonetheless. I'm going to have to tell my parents soon. Everybody's going to find out sooner or later and I just know hell will break loose.

Upon emerging from the tub, I get dressed into one of Christian's t-shirts and we slip back into bed together, watching friends and talking. It's blissful.

"Tomorrow I'm taking the day off work. I'm going house hunting," he says suddenly. "Come with me?"

I think to see if I have work and much to my delight I remember I don't. "Course," I smile.

"Good. I want your opinions. I'm thinking something on the smaller side. We don't need anymore than four bedrooms at the moment."

" _Very small_ ," I say teasingly, rolling my eyes.

He playfully smacks my butt and I giggle, feeling myself get slightly aroused at the action.

"Ana Steele," he says, smirking. "Naughty girl."

I flush and shrug. Everything about Christian Grey gets me hot.

He does it again, this time slightly harder and I squirm, feeling myself get wet. Watching my face intently to gauge my reactions, he moves the t-shirt up over my ass, caressing my cheeks gently.

"There's so much fun to be had with this gorgeous little thing," he grins, squeezing firmly.

I make an O shape with my mouth. Surely he's not talking about...

"Not yet," he laughs. "And only if you want to of course."

"You want to put your dick inside my bottom?" I ask in wonder.

He bursts out laughing, much to my delight. His laughter is infectious and watching him is wonderful. He pulls me on top of him then and squeezes me tightly, still smiling. He kisses me heavily. "You make me so fucking happy," he grins. "I love you baby."

* * *

 **A/N Just a fluffy little chapter between our fave couple. Probably the last for a while. The rain before the storm so to speak! Make sure to leave a review. They'll probably be another CPOV outtake updated some point tonight/tomorrow morning as well so see you guys over on my site. Thank you for everyone who's commented/followed! So appreciated xoxo**

 **IMPORTANT: There seems to be a LOT of confusion going on concerning the site, some people are even angry so I'm going to explain everything now. My FB page got taken down for whatever reason (completely out of my control and not my fault) and so I made a website especially for you guys and for me to write freely with no rules and regulations. I had no idea it would spur such a response from some people who are angry at me and I'm clueless as to why.**

 **Also, some people are saying they are disappointed or confused as to what's going on. Colours will continue as normal, on this website, from Ana's point of view. The website I've created is purely an additional little place where I will occasionally post Christian POV, Outtakes, outfits, pictures etc…. I can't do all of that on this site which is why I've created my own. If it's that 'annoying' or 'confusing' by no means do you have to visit the site. The site is for people who like a little extra while waiting on updates here and are interested in seeing CPOV etc. You do not have to be part of my site to still follow this story on here. Hope that clears things up. For those who are new/want to join, the link to the website is in my profile, I can't post it here because of FF rules so I've had to space it out. Thank you x**


	17. Chapter 17

Tuesday 18th November 2016

This weekend has been the most marvellous weekend with Christian ever. Yesterday, we went house hunting, unsuccessfully albeit. I couldn't help but be completely amazed at the enormous houses we were viewing. They were fantastic to me but to Christian, not so much. He was very much a perfectionist and needed to find _the one_.

I'm excited for today because for the first time in a really long time, I get to see my little Charlie. Christian is picking me up from work and together, we're going to get him from school and head back to Christian's new apartment. He decided he needed more time to find the perfect house and so he rented a penthouse apartment for the mean time where Charlie can live. And me whenever I like.

Things are a little awkward with James today but he's such a nice guy he doesn't even mention it which I'm grateful for. All day long I stare at the clock, counting down the time until I'm finished. James notices.

"Busy?" He asks, swinging the tablecloth behind his shoulder.

"Yeah," I say hurriedly, rushing to the back room to gather some glasses.

* * *

I hang up my apron and bid James goodbye at 2:30 on the dot. It's a cold day but I sit on the bench outside as I wait for Christian. A few minutes later, he calls.

"Finished work?" He asks.

"Yes," I smile. I'm so excited to see him. It feels as though I just can't get enough of him, regardless of the consequences. It's reckless yet instinctive. I can't help it.

"I'll be there in ten baby," he replies and I melt. I love it when he calls me that.

True to his word he shows up _before_ ten and I all but run to him, throwing my arms around him and kissing him wildly. As I pull back, I worry a little about Charlie.

"I hope he's happy to see me," I say uncertainly as we drive. "And not angry with me for leaving."

He laughs at me. "He's five," he says. "He doesn't hold grudges. He'll be delighted, trust me."

He leans in to kiss me and I instantly reflex. It's like magic.

"You taste like bubblegum," he smirks.

I laugh. "James gave it to me," she says.

I realise it's a mistake as soon as his eyes narrow. "Starbucks guy?" He asks.

I nod.

He stays quiet.

"Christian, he's just my friend," I say, somewhat annoyed. He's really ridiculous sometimes.

"I saw the way he looked at you," He says moodily.

I shrug. "That's irrelevant. You can't stop people from being attracted to you. How many women want to get into your pants at work?"

God, sometimes he's so infuriating.

He opens his mouth but then stops because he knows I'm right.

I smirk in satisfaction and reach for him. "I'm yours," I say defiantly. "I'm only interested in you. I only fancy you. I only _love_ you. James, or anybody else for that matter, will be forever incomparable."

It's the honest truth. I want him always and only him.

"Okay," I he relents. He leans in for another kiss. "You win."

"Of course I did," I wink.

* * *

Once we arrive, Christian gets out to get Charlie and I wait in the car with Taylor. I'm slightly apprehensive and I just hope he's as excited to see me as I am him. It feels like forever before I finally see them approaching. Christian is holding him and I affection rises up in me for the little boy I've so dearly missed.

Once they're close, I open the door and wait as Christian places him down. As soon as he sees me his eyes widen and he screams at the top of his lungs.

"ANA!"

I'm practically crying at his reaction. I lift him into my arms and he squeezes me furiously. "I missed you darling," I whisper.

Once he pulls back, I run my fingers through his hair and hold him close.

"Daddy Ana's here," Charlie says to Christian as he gets in and.

"I know, isn't that great?" He grins.

Charlie nods and once he's in his seat, Taylor takes off.

On the journey back he fills me in on everything I've missed, including him learning to play piano and eating 3 whole cookies that made him feel sick one weekend. I'm absorbed in his tales so much I don't even realise when the car stops.

Christian lifts Charlie out and holds my hand as we walk up to the building. It's a large, luxurious apartment block.

"Where are we going daddy?" Charlie asks in confusion.

"We're going to be living somewhere different for a while Charlie," He says.

I'm quiet as we make our way up. I wonder what the penthouse will look like and I envision myself prancing around here in underwear on the weekends, making breakfast for Christian in one of his shirts. He runs his fingers through my hair and I smile up at him.

When we get to the floor and he opens the door, I'm amazed once again. It's like something out of a movie scene. An enormous glamorous apartment, all shiny and new.

"This is beautiful," I tell him.

Once he sets Charlie down, he runs to stand by me, grabbing my hand and Christian bends down to him, looking at him seriously.

"We're going to be living here for a while buddy, until daddy buys a new house."

"Why?" Charlie asks curiously.

"Well, daddy and mommy have decided it's best if we don't' live together anymore. You're going to be living with me but don't worry, you'll still get to see mommy." He says carefully.

"And Ana?"

I give his little hand a squeeze. He is so sweet.

"Ana will be here with us most of the time," Christian smiles, standing up.

Yes. I will.

"Yay," Charlie grins. "Is Ana going to look after me again?"

"I don't know about that," Christian says uncertainly. "But she'll still be here and you'll see her lots."

Surely Christian knows I'd look after Charlie whenever he needed me to. I've missed him so much and he's surely missed me. "I'll look after you," I promise, looking down at him and he wraps his arms around me again.

* * *

After an extensive tour around the impressive apartment, I go to Charlie's new room to play with him for a while, whilst Christian replies to emails. There is already a brand new bed in here along with boxes of Lego, a fully stocked wardrobe and some of Charlie's favourite things from home. Soft bean bags adorn the room, cushions and soft toys. It's like little boy heaven. I'm helping him build an airplane when Christian comes in. His face isn't happy and I instantly stand up.

"What's wrong?" I ask, walking forwards toward him.

He looks at the floor before back at me.

"Emma's fucking coming," he says angrily now.

My heart drops.

"Now?" I ask.

He nods. "She's demanding to see Charlie, I can't exactly say no."

I sigh and turn around to face him. Is this what I'm going to have to put up with forever? Emma?

He holds my shoulder and spins me back around tenderly. Placing his hand on my waist delicately, he looks into his eyes regretfully. I can see how sorry he is.

My chain of thought changes in that moment and realise how much I love him. He'd do anything for me and I'm determined to do anything for him. Even if it means having to deal with Emma.

"I understand," I say. "Don't worry, I'll go." I'm disappointed but he needs to figure and work things out. I don't want to cause any more complications than necessary.

"Ana, I'm sorry," he says honestly.

"It's not your fault." I say. I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"I'll phone you later," He promises, taking my chin and kissing me deeply.

I don't want to stop but I have to. Five minutes later, Taylor drops me home.

"Thanks Taylor," I say as I get out. It's getting dark and I wonder how many hours Christian makes him work. I want him to know how appreciative I am.

"My pleasure ma'am," he says before driving off into the night.

With a sigh, I walk to my door.

* * *

I decide to do a bit of yoga in the evening, and after having dinner with my parents and showering, I lay in bed working on my book. I'm just at the scene where _Ben_ and _Lucy_ kiss for the first time when Christian face times me. I'm not wearing any makeup and my hair is wet but I could care less. That's how comfortable I feel with him now.

"Hey, how'd it go?" I ask.

He's sitting on his desk chair with his head in his hands. He looks so tired. I want nothing more but to comfort him, give him a massage…

"Disastrous," he says. "God, I'm sorry Ana."

"Sorry for what?" I ask.

"Emma came and Charlie was crying for you. She knew you were here. She figured it out."

Oh no. "Did you tell her I was just babysitting?" I ask hurriedly.

He shakes his head. "I told her I love you."

I'm silent for a second, processing. "Why would you do that?" I finally say.

"Because it's true," he says simply. "I'm tired of the lies."

"Christian, she's going to ruin our lives," I say slowly. I don't think he realises that. For a man so smart, he sure is stupid and quite frankly, he's pissing me off at his careless behaviour. It's not just about him. It's about me and Charlie too.

"She was going to try either way," he replies.

"She didn't know about me!" I shout.

He sits up now. "She won't do anything," he says. "I'm pretty sure I can pay her off."

I glare at him. I hate when he acts like this, so entitled. He thinks his money can get him absolutely anything he wants and it's the one quality in him I dislike.

"It won't work," I insist. "And even if it does, she'll want more and more. She'll always be there blackmailing you."

"Once I come out to the world with you, she won't have any ammunition," he says. "I just have to keep her quiet until the divorce is finalised in a few days."

"You have everything planned out, right?" I say sarcastically.

"I do."

"I'm going to bed," I say. I don't want to talk to him anymore tonight. I'm so angry.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says.

"I have work," I reply, dead-pan.

"Isn't it about time you gave up that job now?" He says.

"And why would I do that?"

"You have me," he shrugs. "You don't need to wait _tables_ Ana; you know I'll give you anything you want."

There he goes again. _So_ , self-entitled.

"I'm not a gold digger Christian," I say forcefully. I'm not going to just accept handouts for no reason whatsoever. It's not me.

He rolls his eyes. "Quit the job Ana, I'm serious. It's getting in the way. Just write your book. The divorce will be finalised by Friday and I'm taking you and Charlie to Arizona on the weekend."

"Arizona?" I ask, momentarily distracted. I've never been there…

He nods. "I'm there for business but it's only a few meetings. Thought we'd make a weekend of it. Charlie will love it."

I stay quiet for a moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow when I finish work," he says getting up. "Do you want to pick Charlie up?"

I narrow my eyes at him. He knows I love Charlie. I nod reluctantly.

"Goodnight, I love you," he says.

He doesn't even wait for me to reply before hanging up.

* * *

 **Longer chapter later this week. Haven't had time to edit much so ignore any errors, I will edit properly when I have some more time. Had an extremely busy couple weeks, sorry for the late update. Hope you enjoy. Please leave a review and look out for a preview of next chapter over on word press later. xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

Wednesday 19th November 2016

As I walk into work this morning, I hold my printed out notice in my hand.

Christian messaged three times last night telling me to quit and once I'd really given it some thought, I decided I couldn't be bothered to argue with him on this one. _Choose your battles Ana,_ I tell myself. Besides, it didn't pay very much and I didn't have any friends there so the only thing keeping me there was misplaced pride.

It's 2:30 when I leave. I bid James goodbye and head off to get Charlie from school.

As I drive, I can't help but wonder about everything. I can't help but wonder about Emma, what she's going to do, when she's going to do it. I woke up this morning fully prepared for a bold headline on TMZ. Christian Grey has affair with Teenage babysitter mistress…

It still could happen. Today, tomorrow, whenever she decides really. I'm feeling forever on edge and have to remind myself to breathe as I pull up to the gates.

As I get out and walk up, I feel eyes on me. It's the moms. Surely they can't know can they? _Stop it Ana. Stay calm. You're being paranoid._

A curly little blonde haired boy instantly diverts my mind from the prying eyes when he runs at me, jumping into my arms.

"Ana you picked me up!" He cries.

"I know," I grin, walking with him back to the car. "Are you happy?"

He nods.

Once in the car, he asks me what we're doing today.

"What would you like to do?" I ask.

"Swimming," he says.

I sigh. There's definitely no swimming pool in the penthouse and it's something I knew he'd miss.

"That's gonna have to be another day buddy, when we can get to a pool. I'll ask Christian when he gets home."

I watch his sulky little face pout in the rear-view mirror and it makes me chuckle.

"I've got an idea," I say, a few minutes later. "There's this new recipe to make rainbow cupcakes but I don't know how to do it by myself. It's a shame, I really fancied them as well."

I wait for his reaction.

"I can make rainbow cakes!" He says instantly. "I know how to make them."

"You do?" I ask. "That's pretty impressive."

"Yeah!"

"Okay then. You can help me make rainbow cakes."

His little smile is heartwarming.

* * *

Once I arrive at the penthouse and Charlie hops down, taking my hand. Christian gave me the keys yesterday before I left and so I fish them out of my pocket and open the door.

The front door opens out immediately to the large living room, where a girl with long dark brown hair is sat on the sofa, watching us intently.

"Mia!" Charlie runs to her and she stands up, hugging him.

I'm confused for a moment before she looks at me again.

"Hello Ana," she says warmly. "It's nice to finally meet you." She extends her hand.

"I'm Mia."

* * *

 _Mia_. Christian's younger sister. She has a small heart shaped face and kind big brown eyes. She's beautiful.

"Hi," I finally say, shaking her hand but instead she pulls me forward for a hug. I'm surprised to say the least.

"Aunty Mia, are you going to help us make rainbow cakes?" Charlie asks her sweetly.

"Of course I am," she says animatedly to him. "How could I miss out on the chance to make rainbow cupcakes? Why don't you change out of your uniform first and then we'll get started."

He runs off happily to his room and Mia turns to face me again.

"Rainbow cakes," she smiles. "No wonder he likes you." She then flops back down on the sofa, looking me up and down slowly.

"I knew you were pretty," she says suddenly. "But I didn't know you were _this_ pretty."

I flush a little and take a seat opposite. "Thanks," I murmur.

"I can see why my brother's so smitten. And Charlie for that matter."

I don't know what to say to that so I don't say anything.

"You're nineteen?" She asks.

I nod.

"You seem mature for your age," she comments, sitting up a little.

"Thank you," I say once again.

"I'm staying here for a while, I hope you don't mind. Christian doesn't know yet. I got into a fight with my parents," she adds sadly.

"I don't mind," I assure her quickly. "What did you fight with your parents about? If you don't mind me asking." I can't help my curiosity.

I have a feeling what it was about. I want her to confirm if it's true.

"Christian," she says. "I obviously just want him to be happy and he's clearly happy with you. He wasn't happy with Emma, he never was, but obviously my parents don't understand. At least right now."

"They think I'm the home wrecking teenage slut too?" I say bluntly.

She grimaces. "I wouldn't put it like that."

"Great," I stand up now, heading to the kitchen and calling Charlie.

Time for some rainbow cupcakes to brighten up my suddenly _grey_ mood.

* * *

As the cakes bake in the oven some time later, Charlie sits in the lounge watching TV. I'm clearing up in the kitchen and Mia is by my side once again.

"Ana, I didn't mean to offend you," she says apologetically. "I think you're fabulous and so will my parents. They just need to understand everything first. They need to understand how unhappy Christian was. Emma spent yesterday crying her eyes out to them saying she didn't know where they went wrong."

"She cheated on him too!" I cry, outraged. _Oh god, she's good_. She's much more vindictive than I ever gave her credit for.

"I know," Mia shrugs. "But there's no evidence to that I don't think. You and Christian have blurry pictures all over TMZ."

"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?" I ask bluntly, looking her in the eyes.

"Better of course…oh I don't know. I'm sorry. I have an awful tendency to just say what I think, don't listen to me. I really don't mean to make you unhappy."

I'm about to reply but Christian walks through the door at that precise moment. He's on the phone, suit jacket on his arm and looking extremely flustered.

"Don't try and compromise with me," he says angrily. "Just get the job done now. End of discussion." He hangs up and tosses the phone, along with his keys, onto the table beside the door.

He gives me a weak smile but then his eyes are on Mia.

"What are you doing here?" He asks abruptly.

"Nice to see you too brother," Mia replies rolling her eyes.

He shakes his head. "Of course I'm happy to see you. Just work, and everything- never mind."

She walks toward him and he embraces her in a tight hug. I turn back around and retrieve the cupcakes from the oven, feeling slightly annoyed that he didn't speak to me or hug me first. Glancing over, I see them still in heavy conversation.

I take the cakes over, placing them on the cooling rack one by one. When I've finished, I eat one, even though it's scalding hot. It's delicious.

Finally, Christian decides to make his way over to me. I hear him approach and feel his arms wrap around waist slowly. I help myself to another cake as I turn around to face him.

"Two already?" He smirks, raising his brows.

"I'm hungry today," I say stubbornly through a mouthful.

He chuckles and leans down to kiss me.

"Mmm you taste like cake," he whispers. "Maybe we could put some on…"

Charlie interrupts whatever filthy thing he was about to say by hugging him around his waist. Christian lifts him onto the counter as he asks for a cake.

"When they're cool," I tell him.

He narrows his little eyes at me as he watches me chewing. "You're eating them!"

We all laugh out loud.

* * *

After cakes, Gail makes us all pasta for dinner and I chat with Charlie while Christian chats to Mia. I've never seen Christian interact with anybody else this way, or smile as much with, or seem so _relaxed_ around. He's usually very intense and edge. Even with me sometimes. I remember him telling me how much his family meant to him and it's evident. It's nice, to see him happy and laughing and carefree, honestly. It's just…I wish it could have been at another time. After all we've been through these past few days…I was hoping for some time with him and Mia's taking it all up.

After dinner, we relax in the lounge while Charlie does a puzzle on the floor. Christian then takes him to get ready for bed while Mia sips wine laying down on the sofa. From her eyebrows all the way to her toes, she is luxurious, kitted out in the most lavish designer clothes and elegant jewelry. I wonder what it must be like to be that rich. To never have that worry about money. Growing up, Ray had to work so many hours in order to keep a roof over our heads. Most nights after school I was with Kate and her mom. I was practically raised by her. She even took me to swimming lessons. Ray wouldn't pick me up until dark.

"So Ana," Mia says, breaking me out of my train of thought. "What are you studying at college next year?"

"English, I suppose," I reply. "Though I'm still undecided whether I want to go or not."

"It's not for everyone," she agrees. "My brother Elliot never went. Oh, he can't wait to meet you. When we're back from Arizona we should all go out to lunch, I've told Christian."

"That'll be nice," I smile. I'd like to get to know Christian's family more. I want them to warm to me and see for themselves that I do truly love him.

"Oh, and we should go shopping," she grins. "Girl time."

I don't think my budget fits Louis Vuitton sunglasses and Dior purses but I smile and nod anyway.

Christian comes back in some time later and sits down next to me.

"I was telling Ana about going to lunch after Arizona with Elliot," Mia says animatedly and that's when I catch on to what she just said.

 _We_. Does that mean?

"You're coming to Arizona?" I ask her suddenly.

She nods excitedly. "That's where we can go shopping!"

"I didn't know you were coming," I smile.

"Christian asked me," she grins. "We're going to have such a great time."

I try to look enthusiastic but I'm not quite sure how successful that is. As the evening wears on, it's clear Christian is having catch up time with his sister. He's barely said two words to me. Now, they're laughing at family jokes.

"Do you remember when mom tried to set you up with Clarissa, oh my god that was so funny Christian," Mia laughs through heavy breaths. "Elliot and I were trying so hard not to laugh at your face when she was introducing her at the ball…"

She's on her fourth glass of wine and from the word 'ball' it's clear I'm not part of this fairy-tale world. After deciding I've had enough for tonight, I stand slowly.

"I best get home, it's getting late," I announce.

"Oh," Mia looks at me as if noticing that I'm there for the first time. "It was so lovely to meet you Ana."

"Why are you going?" Christian asks, looking up at me from the sofa confused. "I thought you were staying the night."

"Well I'm not." It comes out sharper than intended but I'm in too much of a bad mood to apologize.

Christian looks taken aback but stands up. "Let me walk you back down then, at least."

I walk ahead of him, out of the penthouse and into the elevator. In there, he turns toward me.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked.

"Nothing," I shrug.

"Did you quit the job?" He asks curiously. "Is that why you're in a bad mood with me?"

"I quit the job," I sigh. "And I'm not in a bad mood with you."

He rolls his eyes. "Of course you are. Do you not like Mia?"

"I wouldn't know," I shrug again. "I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her, since you and her decided to take a trip down memory lane all evening."

Even I know it's ridiculously petty but I can't help it. Everything's just too much and I'm feeling too overwhelmed right now.

"I hardly see her…" he says slowly.

"Well you'll see plenty of her in Arizona. Don't worry, I'm not coming."

The elevator stops and I stride forward but he pulls me back.

"Whatever I've done, I'm sorry," he says impatiently. "But this is shitty for me too Ana. There's so much going on right now. I can't take you being all sarcastic and moody with me on top of that."

"I feel as though we just keep going around in circles," I say. "One thing after another. Did Mia tell you that your parents basically hate me? Or that Emma spent all day with them crying?"

"She explained wrong…"

"So you knew?" I challenge. "You knew and you didn't tell me. You haven't even made a statement Christian. A statement to the public. Everyone, including your parents, think I'm a home-wrecking whore and you don't even care."

"Of course I care!" He shouts. "But I thought we agreed to not give a statement."

" _You_ did!" I shout back. "You decided that on your own, not me. Just like you decided I needed to quit my job, just like you decided that your sister was going to come on _our_ weekend away. A time when it was supposed to be just _us_. Away from everything and from everyone."

"Ana," he steps forward. He goes to say something but then stops. "I'm sorry."

"I have feelings too," I say. I can feel tears stinging my stupid eyes again and I brush them away angrily.

"I'm going to make the statement tomorrow," he says quietly. "And I'll tell Mia I don't want her to come."

Despite my tears, I find myself laughing as I roll my eyes at him.

He pulls me forward and hugs me tightly. "I'm not letting you go home upset," he strokes my hair gently.

"I can't keep lying about where I am," I cry again. "It's exhausting."

"Well, tell them the truth."

He tilts my chin up to look at him. "I'll tell them with you," he says softly. "I'm not going to hide you anymore. You're _not_ my secret Ana. I'm going to shout it out the world that you're mine. We'll tell them tomorrow, okay? No more secrets."

He kisses my forehead as he wipes a tear away. It feels like a satin caress.

"No more secrets," I echo.

* * *

 **See you over on word press for a preview of next chapter and another CPOV of him talking with his parents which I have scheduled for tomorrow. Please review. xoxoxo**

 **First five reviewers however will get the preview of the next chapter to read RIGHT NOW after this. Saying 'Update' doesn't count :p xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

Wednesday 19th November 2016

We don't have sex tonight. In bed, we just cuddle and watch friends together. I lay in Christian's shirt, entwined with him between the warm sheets and he just holds me.

It's intimately beautiful and I fall asleep safe and sound in his arms.

* * *

Thursday 20th November 2016

In the morning, Mia drops Charlie to school and Christian and I have breakfast together. I can barely keep anything down in anticipation of telling my parents this morning. I feel so sick. Christian is taking the morning off work and I told Carla and Ray I had something very important to discuss with them.

Christian notices my nerves and squeezes my hand affectionately.

"Everything will be fine," he assures me.

I only wish I could have even an _ounce_ of his confidence.

On the drive there, I tense.

"I'm scared Christian," I say honestly.

"I know, but there's nothing to be afraid of honey. What's the worst that could happen?"

I shrug. "That they kick me out and disown me."

"They wouldn't do that," he chuckles. "And even if they did, I'd take you right back home with me."

He lifts my hand to kiss it and despite me knowing I'm being silly, that little bit of reassurance means everything to me.

We park right outside and my nerves start back up again as we slowly walk hand in hand to the front door. Both cars are parked which means they're both there. My mom was pretty alarmed when I told her I needed to talk to them and I'd be bringing someone with me. I know she's in there biting her nails right down to the quick right now.

Christian's arm is wrapped tightly around my waist as we walk up. He's making calming little circles on the small of my back and it's such a great comfort. Finally, we run out of steps and I hold my breath as I retrieve the keys from my pocket and open the door.

The house is quiet as we enter. We round the corner together into the small living room where my parents are both sat together on the sofa. My mom immediately gets to her feet when she sees me, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Oh baby," she cries, pulling back quickly and examining me all over. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine mom," I brush her off. "Nothing's wrong with me."

"Who's this Ana?" She asks, noticing Christian.

I steady myself.

 _No more secrets. Christian is not my secret. I love him and he means the world to me. Screw what my parents think._

"This is Christian Grey," I say, leaning into him. "Christian, these are my parents, Carla and Ray. Christian is my boyfriend."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Christian says politely.

He extends his hand but nobody takes it.

He withdraws it and I take it instead, feeling angry at my parents. My mom is not saying anything, just gaping at him. Ray's chosen expression is more of a glare.

"Christian Grey?" My mom finally whispers. " _The_ Christian Grey?"

"The one and only," Christian responds.

Ray stands up at this, seemingly regaining his speech.

"Ana, what is this?" He asks. "Some kind of joke?"

I'm affronted. "Yes dad, it's all an enormous joke," I say angrily.

"Aren't you, like, _old_?" Ray says bitterly. "Ana's a teenager."

"I'm nineteen dad," I correct. "I'm not a child, and he's _not_ old." I'm offended.

"Christian, have a seat," Carla gestures with a forced smile. "Ray, you too. Let's all take a seat and talk calmly please."

I have no idea what my mom thinks sitting will resolve but we do so anyway. Christian holds my hand in his lap.

"I met Ana when she was babysitting my son, Charlie. You know about him I presume?" Christian asks.

"Of course, Ana's very fond of him," my mom says.

"Things just happened…" he continues. "She's the first person to make me happy in years."

I can't help but smile when I hear that.

"I love your daughter Carla and Ray. She means the world to me. I would never do anything to hurt her."

"Oh, that's lovely," my mom says, smiling for real now. She's so easy going and accepting.

Ray on the other hand, isn't so convinced.

"What do you want from Ana?" He barks. "You're a married man with a child! If you're messing her around…"

"I'm not, sir." Christian says calmly. "I'm separated from my wife actually. The divorce shall be finalised tomorrow."

"Ana, you're so young…" he implores, looking at me now.

"And so what's the alternative dad?" I ask. "Somebody like Jordan? Who messes Kate around constantly? Another nineteen-year-old like me who smokes pot and drinks every weekend?"

"She has a point Ray," my mom says pointedly to him.

He's quiet for a moment.

"So…this is where you've been?" He suddenly says, changing the subject. "With him? You were _lying_ to us. I never raised you to lie to me Ana."

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. "I didn't want to."

"Christian, would you like a drink?" My mom interrupts, getting to her feet. "Tea, coffee?"

"I'm fine thank you," he says politely, standing too. "I need to be getting to work."

"Would you like to come around for dinner sometime?" She asks. "It'd be lovely to get to know you properly."

"That would be fantastic," he smiles.

"Great," she says happily. "Ana will see you out then."

He bids them goodbye and we walk to the door.

"Could've gone worse," he smirks.

"My mom seems to like you, my dad…"

"Is your dad," Christian finishes. "I expected it and don't worry, it's absolutely fine. He's protective of you. He'll come around eventually."

He bends down to kiss me.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks. "We're flying out in the evening. You should tell your parents."

"I will."

He starts to walk back to his car but I call him suddenly. He turns around.

"I'm looking forward to Arizona," I smile. "And, I don't mind Mia coming, honestly. I love you Christian."

He smiles softly at me. "I love you too."

My parents quieten immediately as I walk into the room. Their whispers turn to silence and their gaze directs toward me. I take advantage of the stillness.

"I'm actually going to Arizona tomorrow," I say quietly. "Christian already booked it. it's only for a weekend."

"That will be lovely," my mother says. "Nice and warm. I always loved it there. You know, when I lived with Steve…" she trails off.

Ray says nothing. Instead, he stands.

"I'm off for…um…groceries," he states before walking quickly toward the door and slamming it shut behind him.

"He never gets groceries," I murmur.

My mom pulls a face and holds out her arms as I fall into them.

"He hates me now," I cry, feeling tears burn my eyes.

She strokes my hair. "He could never hate you sweetheart," she assures me. "It's just hard for him to watch you grow up. He'll come around, I'll talk to him." She then pulls me back to look at her. She's quiet for a moment. "You can handle all of this right Ana?" She asks seriously then. "The things that come with being with him. The media, his wife… I can't stand to watch you get hurt. You're my baby girl."

"I'll be okay," I assure her. "I love him so much mom, I'd put up with anything for him."

She smiles at me softly and kisses the top of my head.

"That's my girl."

* * *

Friday 21st November 2016

I spend the day with my mom. We go out for lunch and manicures before Christian picks me up late afternoon. We head back to the penthouse for a while whilst Charlie runs around excitedly at the thought of his trip.

Mia has two enormous louis Vuitton suitcases that look ridiculous next to my small black one. I'm still annoyed that she's coming but I'm trying not to be petty. If Christian hardly sees her, then I'll deal with it.

"Is that all your bringing Ana?" She asks disapprovingly as she stares at the suitcase.

I roll my eyes. _Okay. Maybe this is going to be a longer weekend than anticipated._

* * *

"When are we going to the airport?" I ask Christian as Mia sits there eating salad.

She smirks. "Didn't you tell her Christian?" She says.

"Tell me what?" I demand. Is this another sibling secret?

"We're taking my jet honey," he smiles at me.

I stare at him dumbfounded.

"You have a jet?" I ask deadpan.

He nods. "Charlie Tango if you please," he grins. "After Charlie of course, I got it soon after he was born."

I shake my head. This man….

* * *

I'm in awe as we board Christian's private jet. It's ridiculous, as if I'm living in some kind of game and Christian is the imaginary man you get to construct to be perfect.

"This is crazy," I murmur as he holds my hand up the steps.

"Better get used to it baby," he chuckles.

We set off around 6pm. Charlie sits next to Mia contently, watching a Disney movie on the flat screen and I'm curled against Christian with my feet up reading _Pride and Prejudice_. He's on his laptop and Taylor and Sawyer, Christian's security guards, sit in the back along with Andrea, Christian's PA. The jet is amazing. It's all beige leather, flats screens, reclining chairs and _luxury_. I'm still in awe.

"What time is your meeting tomorrow?" I ask him.

"Eight thirty," he replies.

"That's early," I yawn.

He smiles and turns toward me. "You tired already?" He asks.

I nod. "A little," I confess.

"You can nap for a few hours, until we get there," he says softly, stroking my hair. "I'll get you a blanket."

"I don't want to be boring," I murmur.

He chuckles. "You're not boring."

Soon after that, I indeed fall asleep. I awake when we land and find that Charlie's fast asleep draped over Mia.

"Oh bless him," I smile.

"I'll put him to bed when we get in," Christian states, getting to his feet.

As soon as we step of the plane, I feel the temperature difference in the air. It's cool, but Phoenix air is much warmer than Seattle. A car is waiting upon arrival and it takes us directly to the hotel. I really do feel like a movie star.

We're at the four seasons and Christian has booked the penthouse suite _obviously_. There's a kitchen in there, a luxurious bathroom with a huge tub and 2 enormous bedrooms with a little hallway separating them. Mia and Charlie share one while Christian and I of course have the other. There is also a large lounge area. It's all very neutral coloured with fresh flowers. After Christian puts Charlie to bed I decide to have a bath.

"I'm going to head down to the bar," Mia states, curling her hair in the lounge mirror. She travelled in sparkly Jimmy Choo heels, tight leather jeans and a silk shirt. I wore leggings and one of Christian's hoodies. "Sure you don't want to come?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I'm having a bath."

"Okay," she smiles. "Well, I'll see you in the morning. We'll go down to breakfast together."

I bid her goodbye and then run my bath and sink into the warm bubbles. Of course, Christian joins me.

"What if Charlie wakes up," I giggle as he climbs in, disturbing me. "Or Mia comes back."

He kisses my neck lovingly. "I don't care," he insists. His hands trail down to my breasts underneath the water and he squeezes them approvingly.

"Are you horny?" I ask, leaning back against him.

"Always for you," he says seductively.

I turn around and kiss him hard.

* * *

Our bath is lovely and Christian carries me into our bedroom still naked and deposits me on the bed.

"I want to try something with you," he whispers against my lips as he hovers over me. "You'll enjoy it I promise."

I'm wary but he kisses me softly. "You'll like it," he says again, looking into my eyes. "Do you trust me?"

I nod. "Of course."

He then pulls a pair of handcuffs out of his bag from the floor and my eyes widen a little. He brought them with him? He's clearly been planning… I can't deny the part of me that's extremely turned on by this. My heartbeat rises in time with my breaths and I bite my lip as he handcuffs my hands to the bed. I pull, and of _course_ find that I cannot. With my hands above my head, I feel extremely vulnerable and exposed. I feel the wetness gathering between my thighs and Christian teases me with his tongue against my ear. He pulls my lobe into his mouth and I groan. I want to run my fingers through his hair but I can't. It's so frustrating, yet so erotic. When he gets to my breasts, I'm even wetter. He blows torturously on my nipples before encircling them with his tongue.

"Please," I plead.

He doesn't listen. He takes his time, slowly, _so_ slowly. I watch as he dips his tongue into my belly button and I pull against my restraints. His eyes flicker up to mine as he smirks. He's enjoying this. However, I'm about to burst. He kisses move on from my belly button to the my ankle, slowly making their way back up. I wrap my leg around his head as he gets to the apex of my thighs. He kisses and licks there and he sucks hard on the inside of my left leg, giving me a love bite. I squeeze his head tighter and finally; he licks across my clitoris languidly and I arch my back.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" He murmurs before placing his tongue back on me. He alternates between fast and slow licks and every sensation is _so_ much more intense because I can't move. I give myself over to him completely and revel in every kiss, every caress, every touch.

* * *

"What's the time?" I ask Christian we lay in bed, watching moon shine over us.

"Almost midnight," he replies.

"I'm hungry," I confess.

He laughs and squeezes my ass. "Did I tire you out that much?"

I nod. "I want cheese fries or something salty."

"I can give you something salty," he winks.

I burst out laughing. "You're gross."

He kisses me and I hold onto him.

"Your divorce is finalised," I say seriously after a moment. "How does that feel?"

"Amazing," he grins. "I finally feel free. I can finally share you with the world when we get back."

"They're going to hate me," I say. "I'm the villain. Or so they'll think."

"Who could hate you?" He murmurs, caressing my cheek. "Don't worry about anything okay? Emma will _not_ make you out to be the bad guy, I promise."

And as I look into his eyes, I can't help but believe him.

* * *

Christian is gone when I wake up and the sunlight is beaming in through the windows. I saunter out of bed, wrapping myself in one of the robes here. Charlie is up and dressed in the lounge colouring and Mia is once again dressed to the nines in a mini denim skirt, high heeled sandals and a ponytail.

"Hi Ana," Charlie grins. "We're going to have breakfast."

"That's good," I smile. "I'm starving. How are you up so early?" I then ask Mia as I yawn. "You went out last night."

"I'm used to it, I'm always on the move," she grins. "Come on sleepyhead, get ready!"

I leave my hair down in waves and opt for a pair of denim shorts and a shirt. I slip on my converse, grab my bag and we're off.

The breakfast is lovely. I have blueberry and chocolate pancakes with syrup and Charlie copies me.

"Can we go to the beach?" He asks me as we finish. He reaches up to hold my hand and Mia walks a few steps behind us.

"Of course," I grin at him.

His little face lights up.

The beach is pretty much right next to the hotel and it's quite empty when we arrive. It's winter and so I expect it's not that hot to the people that live here but it is to us. Charlie runs around on the sand, revelling in every minute and Mia and I lay back on the sand, staring up at the sky. I use this opportunity to facetime Kate and Jose and we talk for a while. I miss them and we promise to have a sleepover and catch up when I'm back. Everybody has been so busy lately but I always want to make time for my best friends. They're the glue that has always held me together.

"I want to go shopping," Mia complains when I finish.

"Do you?" I ask idly. "I love it _here_. I like being outside in the open, the warmth…it's so peaceful."

She sits up and brushes the sand off her. "I'm going to get a coffee; do you want anything?"

I shake my head.

* * *

We pretty much stay at the beach all morning and then Christian messages me to say he's finished. We meet him at 12:45 at an Italian restaurant and I hug him as though I haven't seen him in years.

"I missed you," I say, looking up at him.

"You look gorgeous," he smiles.

"Daddy we went to the beach," Charlie tells him.

"That's great. We'll have to come again tomorrow so I can play with you," he answers.

For lunch, we share an enormous pizza and then Mia _insists_ on going shopping. Taylor has to drive us to the Scottsdale mall because the shops here are 'rubbish,' in her own words.

"Ignore Mia," Christian says to me as we get out of the car, sensing my irritation. "She just loves to shop. I think she has an addiction. Later, I was thinking that she can look after Charlie while we find something fun to do."

"Like what?" I ask, holding his hand.

It feels _so_ good to hold his hand in public without fear.

"Whatever looks good," he shrugs. "Just the two of us."

"That sounds perfect," I agree.

The stores here are much more upmarket and Mia seems satisfied. "I need a new bag," she explains as we walk into _Chanel_.

"What's wrong with the one I got you for your birthday?" Christian asks suddenly.

"That was ages ago Christian," Mia insists.

"It was last month," Christian says bluntly.

I can't help but laugh. She rolls her eyes in response.

The store is amazing. I've never actually set foot in a Chanel before. There's no point really, I doubt I could even afford a perfume in here. Charlie, understandably, is bored and takes to messing around with the mannequins. The sales assistants are all very welcoming as soon as Mia picks up an elaborate jewelled clutch bag. The price tag isn't even on there, that's how I know it's thousands.

"Oh Ana, isn't this amazing," she grins.

"Sure," I nod, but my eye is on the much more traditional one in the back. It's black quilted with a delicate chain and I think about how pretty it is. I've never been one for material things really, but it would be nice to own a few pretty things. What girl wouldn't like to? I have absolutely nothing like this.

"You like that?" Christian asks, breaking me out of my trance.

"Oh," I shake my head. "I was just looking."

However Christian being Christian doesn't listen to me.

As Mia buys her bag, Christian buys me the black quilted one. Just like that. A three-thousand-dollar purse sits prettily in the white shoppers bag he hands to me. I can't help but be a little giddy.

"Thank you," I say honestly. "So much."

He kisses the top of my head in response and grabs my hand once again as we head out of the doors, leaving me to wonder what I ever did to deserve him.

* * *

 **Bit of a light-hearted one. Breather from the drama for a second! Please leave a review and tell me what you thought. Love always xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

Monday 24th November

My weekend in Arizona was wonderful. On Saturday night, we went to a lovely dinner and then walked along a river for miles, hand in hand as we watched the sunset. It was beautiful. Sunday, we explored with Charlie, did some more shopping and went to a water park which was fantastic. Now, I'm back on the jet and bracing myself for the inevitable back lash of Christian's divorce and subsequent 'runaway.'

Once we arrive, we're ushered into a car and driven back to the penthouse where as expected, paparazzi lurk outside.

"Mia, take Charlie inside," Christian takes seriously.

She walks out first, holding him, head down and straight into the building. She's professional and clearly used to the attention. We're next and I try to keep my head down while Christian holds his arm around me securely and Taylor stands on the other side. Flashing lights come from each direction and loud shouts engulf my senses. It's extremely overwhelming.

"Hey Mr Grey, how's Emma taking the divorce?" One of them asks.

"Mr Grey is it true that you're fighting for custody?"

"Ana what's it like being with a billionaire?"

"Hi Ana, you look lovely today, did Christian buy you that new purse?" This one gets too close and Christian stops, eyes glaring with anger and squares up to him. He towers over the small pot-bellied man and he has the decency to bring his camera down slightly.

"Don't you talk to her," he spits.

"Sorry Christian," the man jeers.

We walk into the building as quick as we can. I breathe a sigh of relief once we're there but Christian is immediately on his phone to one of his employees.

"Did I or did I not tell you to make sure the fucking pap's weren't outside my fucking building?" He is seething and I'm quiet as I stand next to him in the elevator.

"I don't care. Get extra security from now on, get a restraining order. I don't want them within ten feet of Ana and my son. You're getting on my last nerve Welch. If you want to keep your job I expect you better start earning it."

He snaps the phone shut and I hold his hand in comfort. He returns the gesture wordlessly and we soon arrive at his penthouse.

"I want a house," he says as we stride in.

Mia looks at him expectantly.

"I want a fucking house, far away from here. Far away from the city, far away from Emma. I want to live my life in peace."

"Christian, you know you're probably the biggest deal here," she says sympathetically. "Seattle doesn't have a whole lot of celebrities."

"I don't care," he flops down on the couch, pulling me with him. "I didn't sign up for this. I'm a businessman not a god damn pop star."

She makes a face.

"Have you heard from Emma?" She asks after a few moments.

He shakes his head.

"I don't know if that's a good or bad thing," she says biting her nails nervously.

I feel sick just thinking about it.

Like, actual sick.

 _No, I'm going to vomit._

I sit forward suddenly and feel my stomach lurch instantly.

"Ana?" Christian asks.

I run to the bathroom making it just in time.

"Jeez Ana," I hear him behind me a few minutes later holding my hair. "Are you okay?"

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I feel nausea wash over me once again. I shake my head. He kneels beside me and lifts my face to look at him.

"We're going to leave here," he promises. "You won't have to deal with all of this forever."

He strokes my forehead, checking for a fever.

"How are you feeling now?" He asks.

"Tired," I confess.

"You should nap."

He then carries me to his bedroom and deposits me on the bed.

"I've got a few things to sort out, I'll wake you up later." He kisses the top of my head and leaves.

* * *

I wake up myself a few hours later to loud noise and pad out to the lounge. I hear voices. _Raised_ voices. Turning the corner, I see Mia sat on the couch with Taylor standing behind her. Christian is standing opposite and a curtain of blonde hair turns my way.

 _Emma_.

I haven't seen her in a long time. She looks different. Less makeup, no heels, but her face is scrunched up in the same angry way.

"Oh, there you are," she sneers.

"Emma leave," Christian warns.

"Are you having fun with my husband?" She says.

"He's not your husband," I reply just as bitterly. She's not about to chew me out in front of everyone. She has no business being here. Christian is _mine_.

"Yes, you saw to that didn't you? You home wrecking _whore_ ," she spits the last words. "I pitied you. I gave your broke ass a job you weren't worthy of, let you into my home and this is how you repay me?"

"Get out!" Christian shouts.

She spins around to face him. "No I fucking won't! My son is here and I have a right to see him. Don't you _dare_ tell me to leave."

"Don't speak to my brother like that," Mia says icily.

"Mia and Taylor can you leave for the moment," Christian says. "Mia check on Charlie." It's not a suggestion it's a command and though reluctantly, they get up and leave.

Emma turns back to me.

"Did Christian tell you he loves you?" She sneers. I don't answer and she laughs at that. "Of course he did didn't he? Well he _doesn't_. He doesn't love anybody sweetheart. He's a fucked up sadist who will never be who you want. He'll move onto the next one soon. Did he ever tell you how many submissive's he had?"

 _No. He didn't. He doesn't talk much at all about his BDSM life…_

'You're his twentieth," she says happily.

I gulp back my surprise but do my best to remain calm. "I'm not his submissive. I'm his girlfriend."

"Same difference," she shrugs. "I was his wife. He'll ease you into it but mark my words before you know you'll be tied to the ceiling. He needs it. He can't…"

Christian is in front of her. "Get out of my house right now," he says. "I don't give a shit if you want to see Charlie. You _never_ wanted him. You could care less about seeing him! I offered you a deal, you blew it. You sold a story to TMZ, you're stalking us, you come in to _my_ house…you fucking dare come in to my house. I will now fight for _full_ custody of him. Mark _my_ words you bitter bitch."

"You won't win," she says smugly.

"Yes I will," he says confidently. "Just wait. Any day now. Now get out before I call the police."

The smile is wiped off her face. Despite the façade I can see the hint of fear there. "This isn't the end," she promises bitterly.

"No, the end will see you packing your bags and going back to Florida."

"Never going to happen," she hisses. She hitches her bag over her shoulder and walks to the door. Before leaving however, she turns and stares at me.

"Enjoy it while it lasts Ana," she says. "Ask him about his subs. Ask him all about Elena who he _still_ speaks to. Ask him about his mommy issues."

Christian's eyes widen. "How do you know?...I've never told you…"

She smiles at him. "I'm a lawyer and _you_ should have more loyal friends. It's amazing what people are willing to divulge when tempted with desirable offers."

With that, she closes the door.

* * *

We're silent for several long seconds. I don't know where to start. There's just _too_ much say, too much to ask. The questions in my head are endless.

"Are you feeling better?" He finally asks, looking through me.

"Christian," I shake my head.

"Don't listen to her," he walks forward toward the kitchen and grabs a beer. "She's a fucking liar."

"Who's Elena?" I ask flatly.

He slams the bottle onto the counter top and I jump back a little.

"I said not to listen to her!" He shouts.

I grow red with anger.

"I want to listen to _you_ ," I shout back. "What did you say about no more secrets? Or was that just all bullshit Christian?"

He walks out. "I don't need this."

I follow him as he grabs a coat from the rack by the door and puts it on.

"Where are you going?" I ask outraged.

He ignores me, opening the door and slamming it back shut again.

I'm left standing speechless.

* * *

Mia finds me on the couch sobbing my eyes out. She hugs me gently, stroking my hair and soothing me.

"It's okay, he's just overwhelmed," she assures me. "He'll be back when he's calmed down."

"He walked out on me," I cry.

"Shh," she says. "He does that when he's mad. He's got a lot going on Ana."

"So do I," I blubber.

"Come on," she says, standing and holding my hand. "Let's order some food and watch a movie. Take your mind off things for a while."

It's my only option right now so I agree. Anything to distract me from the hurt I'm feeling.

* * *

The movie is boring and I can't stomach the pizza. He's been gone for almost three hours now. I don't feel better. I'm lying on his bed wishing he would come back while thoughts run endlessly through my head. I shouldn't have shouted at him, I should have stayed calm, tried to talk it through later. The last thing I ever want to do is become like Emma. I pick up my phone and call him. As suspected, he doesn't answer but it still hurts all the same.

I bury my face into his pillow and cry myself back to sleep.

* * *

I awake to a dark room and shuffling beside me. I'm momentarily scared until I realise it's Christian. I breathe a sigh of relief. He's standing beside the bed, ridding himself of his shirt. Forgetting my anger, I lean up and wrap my arms around his middle. He kicks off his jeans and boxers and turns around, pushing me wordlessly onto my back. He takes my clothes off quickly and kisses my neck hotly. His fingers skim my breasts, down to my pussy, plunging in without warning. I moan as he fingers me deeply. Thoroughly. Once I'm ready he grips my hips sexily with his still wet fingers and plunges in, filling me to the hilt. I cry out and bite his shoulder. Meeting his thrusts with my hips I feel him going deeper and deeper. He raises my legs higher until they're almost in the air and I savour every moment.

We don't speak. I feel him come heavily inside of me and sleepily sated we both fall asleep soon after.

* * *

Sunlight wakes me and I'm reminded of yesterday's drama with a sigh. I don't want to move. I don't want to face the world right now.

My belly appears to have other plans though. I once again feel nauseous and groan as I sit up. Christian sits up with me.

"Are you sore?" He asks.

"A little," I admit, now becoming aware of the tenderness between my legs. He went extremely deep and hard last night but that's not the most prominent feeling right now. "I feel sick again," I say.

"Lie back down then," he instructs. He pushes me back down gently and gets out of bed. "I'll get you some water."

I'm feeling a little better after some water and we sit in bed silently for a while as I sip.

"Where did you go last night?" I ask quietly.

"I went to calm down."

"That's not what I asked."

He sighs once again and stares at the ceiling. "I had a drink or two at the Mile High."

I place the water on the bedside table and look over at him. He's undeniably stressed out and I don't want to contribute to that right now. Whatever questions I have, they can wait. I lean over and kiss him softly on the lips.

"I don't want her to come between us," I say seriously. "It's what she wants. We can't let her try and tear us apart."

He holds my hand and kisses it. "She won't."

Tears fill my eyes. God I wish I could stop crying.

"It'll all be over soon," he says, looking toward me. "I promise Ana." He wipes the tear away. "Don't cry."

He leans in to kiss me again and I roll on top of him, claiming his as mine.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter. Uni is so busy and I at least want to get something out regularly. Hope you enjoy and please review! Your comments mean a lot to me. Love always xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

Friday 28th November

I've spent the last few days in Christian's penthouse. I can't face the world right now; everything has finally become too much. Between all his secrets and all the drama, I'm slowly draining out. My parents and friends are pleading with me to come home but I just can't. I'm physically and mentally worn out. I don't want to talk, see, or be with anyone.

It's currently 11 am, Charlie's at school, Christian is at work, and I'm in bed. I've been awake for a while just laying here. I'm not sure what to get up for or what to even do once I'm up. A permanent sadness has taken residence inside of me and refuses to go away. A soft knock at the door interrupts my depressing thoughts. It's Gail and she looks at me pityingly.

"Would you like some breakfast Ana?" She asks softly.

I shake my head. The thought of eating right now makes me want to throw up.

"Mr Grey told me to make sure you eat something," she says nervously. I sigh. I know she will most likely face the wrath of Christian if I refuse so I agree to something small to appease them both.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm eating a white egg omelette with spinach and orange juice. Gail looks over at me as she pours herself coffee.

"Are you sure you're okay honey?" She asks. "You look pale."

Great. Now I look as crappy as I feel. I take a sip of juice and nod. "I'm just tired," I admit. "I didn't anticipate how overwhelming everything would be."

She takes a seat opposite me, sipping her coffee.

"It's not my place to say," she starts, "but I can see the way he looks at you. You mean the world to him and it's the first time I've _ever_ seen him like this. Mr Grey – he's been through so much and I know that sharing his feelings and problems is one thing that he finds extremely difficult. Just know that he loves you and when he's ready, he'll open up."

"Thank you," I smile. Her words are comforting to hear and I finish my breakfast with her before I head off to shower. As I'm coming out and towel drying my hair my phone rings loudly again and again. It's Kate.

"Hello?" I ask concerned. I have around a dozen missed calls from her already.

"Ana, Jose and I are downstairs," she says impatiently. "Security guards won't let us up, can you please confirm you know us?"

A man then speaks. "Madam Steele, are these two licensed to visit?"

"Of course, they're my best friends."

The line goes dead and a few moments later the door knocks. When I open it, Kate and Jose launch themselves onto me and feeling overwhelmed, I begin to cry.

"Oh Ana," Kate says, pulling back and wiping my eyes. "We've missed you so much."

"Me too," I say. "I'm sorry about ignoring you, I just…"

"I don't even need to ask why," she states interrupting me. Her eyes are deeply concerned and she looks so worried about me.

"It's all too much," I sob. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Shhh," Jose soothes. "Come on, let's go to your room."

A few minutes later, I'm in my sweats, sitting on my bed with my two best friends. I didn't realise how good it would feel to have them here and I realise I've been neglecting pretty much everyone lately. Pushing people away when things get hard has always been something I've done and I know how damaging it can be. My parents are currently feeling the wrath right now and I hate it. I pull a cushion to my chest and proceed to tell them about everything.

"Emma just won't go away," I sigh. "She's always there, lurking, ready to pounce and I just can't _ever_ feel settled. I just keep waiting for the next story to pop up, the next time she comes here unannounced. I constantly feel on edge and I want it to stop. Ray hates me also and I can't go home. They'll be reading stories and comments on the internet about me being a whore…I know how disappointed they must be in me. They had such high hopes."

"Don't talk about yourself like that and Ray doesn't hate you Ana," Jose insists sharply. "He's called us loads of times to persuade you to come home. He wants you back but you can't blame him for not wanting you involved in all this drama."

"I _am_ the drama," I state, laying back down. "I'm just going to stay locked in here forever until everything goes away."

"It doesn't work like that sweetie," Kate says, lying next to me. "Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and that bitch is going to continue to fight."

Jose joins us. "She's right," he agrees. "This is what she wants. She wants you and Christian to break and you can't let her win."

I know that they are right. Sometimes however, it is hard to be strong when the world feels like it's crashing down on you.

* * *

Kate and Jose are staying, and we're sat at the island while Gail makes us dinner when Christian gets in, well after five. He makes his way over to us and

Kate introduces herself immediately. "I'm Kate, this is Jose." She motions to him.

"I believe we've met once before," Christian responds, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. "Not sure _you'll_ remember though."

 _Why does he always have to be antsy?_

"Where's Charlie?" I ask him suddenly, realising he isn't here.

"Mia picked him up today to take him to the theatre and for dinner," he explains.

He sits next to me and everything goes quiet for a moment.

"Your place is amazing by the way," Jose says after a while, breaking the silence.

"Definitely," Kate agrees. "So lush."

"Thank you," Christian replies.

I take in his facial expressions and he looks so drained. He looks exactly as I feel and I know this is hard on him too. Perhaps even harder.

"Ana's been really upset," Kate says. "We came to stay with her for a while."

"For how long?" Christian sighs.

"Just the weekend, if that's okay with you?" She asks.

"Yes sure, fantastic," he says somewhat irritably.

I'm annoyed with his attitude toward my friends but I ignore it as Gail serves us spaghetti. We eat in relative silence and then Christian insists he has work to do, retreating to his office silently.

"I'm sorry about that," I say to my friends, helping Gail clear up.

"It's fine," Jose insists. "I know you're both having a hard time."

"He doesn't have to be a dick though," Kate disagrees and I chuckle. She's never one to sugar coat a situation. "Where are we sleeping?" She wonders, coming over to help me.

"There's a couple of guest rooms," I shrug. "You can sleep wherever."

"How about we go out shopping tomorrow?" She suggests. "Jose wants new clothes and I want makeup."

"That sounds great," I smile. "Maybe I'll get Christian something…"

"Will he be getting _it_ tonight?" She smirks nosily. "I think he needs cheering up."

I swat her. "Shut up."

She raises her eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"Maybe," I relent. "So don't listen out."

She laughs loudly. "Is it good then? You know what they say about an _older_ man."

"He's not old," I frown. I hate when anybody says that. If thirty is old then we're all doomed in the future.

"He's older than you," she says pointedly.

I shrug. "I don't notice the age difference. Not really. But yes, it's _very_ good," I say satisfactorily.

"I bet," she fantasises. "He looks so pent up and frustrated. I bet he wants to exercise it out on you. Tell me, does he have any hot older brothers?"

"As a matter of fact he does, but I've never met him."

Her eyes widen. "Put in a word for me," she winks.

"Sure thing."

* * *

After that, I give Jose and Kate a tour and then we just spend time together, laughing, talking and eating junk food that I raided from the hidden parts of the kitchen. Around nine, Jose goes to talk to his boyfriend, Kate heads off to shower and I head to Christian's office. I let myself in and see him just sitting at his desk, staring into space. My heart pangs for him and I quietly make my way over, settling myself in his lap. I stroke his hair softly.

"I love you," I say simply.

He looks into my eyes before resting his forehead against mine.

We stay there like that for a while until he speaks. "Charlie isn't back yet. I told Mia to have him back by eight."

"Call her?" I suggest.

"She's not answering," he frowns.

"That's strange," I say.

He nods. "I'm going to have to look for them soon."

"I'm sure they're just caught up having fun but if you go, I want to come," I insist. Charlie means just as much to me. I _adore_ that child.

He smiles for the first time and kisses my cheek. "I wouldn't go without you."

I kiss him gently and he reciprocates.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, placing his hand against my stomach. "I know you've been a little unwell."

"I felt sick this morning," I admit. "But I'm fine now."

His eyebrows knit together for a moment and he looks down at his hand. A call suddenly interrupts us.

"It's Mia," he says, jumping up and answering her. I sigh in relief and he puts her on loudspeaker.

"Christian!" She's frantic and I suddenly start to panic at the sound of her voice. _Oh no. What's happened?_

"Mia what is it?" Christian asks, equally as alarmed.

"Christian," she's sobbing and it's hard to make out her words. "I…I was on my way to get Charlie from school and I was…somebody grabbed me and bought me to your old house. They locked me in the kitchen for _hours_ and there was no phone." She's hyperventilating and so am I. "I only just got let out and I'm on my way over now in the uber…."

"Mia, where is Charlie?" Christian asks anguished.

"I don't know," she cries. "Oh God, Christian I'm so sorry. I tried my hardest to get out but…"

"She's taken him," Christian breathes. I watch as his face twists in anguish and two seconds later the phone is flying through the air and he's practically pulling his hair out.

This is my worst nightmare times ten. Everything I ever feared is happening right in front of my eyes but this isn't about me right now. It's about Charlie and we _need_ to find him. I run out of the room at full speed and find Taylor. He looks startled by my expression.

"Taylor," I breathe heavily. "Charlie's missing, we think Emma's taken him. Christian is…I… _God,_ please, can you do something?"

He picks up his phone straight away to make calls and Christian comes striding out of his office at that moment, Kate and Jose behind him. They must have heard the commotion. Kate's hair is ringing wet as she pulls on her hoodie and jeans.

"We're all coming," she insists.

I try to take deep breaths as I pull on the first coat of Christian's I see hanging up.

Christian has the expression of a madman and I stand in front of him before he opens the door. He looks down into my eyes frantically.

"We _will_ find him," I promise, tears silently streaming down my face. I watch as they start to form in his own. I take his hands. "She's not going to win." Despite my sadness, there's a fierce determination in my voice and it's time for me to take control and become the woman Christian needs beside him. I'm going to fight fire with fire and I'm going to fucking _win_. "I love you," I continue. "We're going to get him back." I tiptoe up and kiss him passionately before I grab his hand and throw open the door.

This bitch is going down, once and for all.

* * *

 **Eek, I know. Don't hate me. Update really soon. As said, uni is busy. Love always and please please please review! Preview of the next chapter will be over on the site. xxx**


	22. Chapter 22

Sunday 30th November

We're all in Taylor's SUV as he starts to drive. I'm holding Christian's hand tightly and Taylor's speaker phone is on loudspeaker as he talks into it.

"I want the location of Emma Grey's car right now," he orders. "Then I want helicopters dispatched immediately to survey the surrounding area."

"What if she's using a different car?" I say to Christian anxiously.

He's leaning forward, hands against the back seat, listening intently to everything Taylor says.

"Check surveillance footage of the school," Christian now shouts. "I want to know exactly _what_ car she left and arrived in."

"Coming through right away boss," the voice on the other end of the line answers.

"Ok get on that _now_ , pass me Welch,-" Taylor continues but Christian cuts him off angrily.

"FUCK Welch," he growls. "He's fucking done and that son of a bitch is gonna pay. Get Ros."

"Yes sir," Taylor nods obediently.

A few minutes later surveillance comes through. She has in fact used a different car and now we can track it straight away. I bite my nails as I wait.

A woman's voice now comes through the phone. "Christian the maps are through," she says roughly. "She's in Vancouver and the car is stationary outside a diner."

"Fucking Vancouver!" Christian shouts, punching the seat.

"She's on route to the airport," Ros says then. Her voice is strong but I can sense the anxiety there. "As soon as she gets there...she'll be on the flight," she continues. "We'll lose her after that."

"Over my dead body," he growls.

I feel sick. This is all my fault. She's going to get on the airplane and take Charlie away forever. From his father, from me...

Suddenly, something inside me stirs. A fierce determination to protect the boy I love. It's a strength that courses through my whole body.

I _won_ _'t_ let it happen.

I sit forward instantly.

"Turn around," I tell Taylor. As expected, he ignores me and so I shout. "TURN AROUND AND GO BACK TO THE PENTHOUSE," I yell.

He looks alarmed. Christian turns toward me.

"Ana, what the hell?" he says angrily. "We need to get to the airport so we can fly out to Vancouver."

"It's no use!" I say back with just as much force. "We won't make it. Right now we're closer to the penthouse. We need to get in your jet."

"We're already dispatching helicopters!"

"I don't care! I trust _us_ to find him Christian. This is my fault. The more the merrier but we _need_ your jet. It's faster."

Taylor glances back. "Boss?" He asks.

"Fine, fucking turn back," he hisses. "And hurry up!"

We're back in less than fifteen minutes and I practically run to the penthouse. Sawyer is waiting for us to fly as instructed. Christian is way too anxious to even attempt piloting right now.

Kate and Jose start to follow but I stop them.

"I appreciate you so much, but I think it'd be better if you stayed here in the penthouse," I say breathlessly. I notice Kate's sour expression but I'm way past caring. "Christian's sister, Mia, will be here soon. You can keep a watch out here."

I hug them quickly and leave before they have a chance to reply.

* * *

In the private jet, Christian paces up and down endlessly. There's no use in trying to tell him to relax, I'm feeling exactly the same. Taylor suddenly comes off the phone and turns to him.

"She's left the diner," he says in a strained voice.

Christian throws punches at the chair, so hard that one of them leaves a dent. I jump up and tears spring to my eyes. I can't believe this is happening. It all feels like a nightmare.

"Please hurry up," I shout, hoping Sawyer can hear. " _Hurry_!"

"He's trying his best, he has to fly safe," Taylor reprimands me coldly.

Suddenly, Christian is right in front of his face.

"Don't fucking speak to her like that," he says venomously.

"Christian," I place my hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Taylor walks away and Christian storms away from me, making a path of destruction with each step.

After regaining control, I head to the front to speak to Taylor.

"Do you know what flight she's getting on?" I ask him.

"No idea," he says. "We've tried and tried but she's not stupid. She's using an alias and we clearly have no way of knowing which woman she is."

"Fuck," I mutter.

"What time does the earliest flight leave?" I ask now, not really wanting to know the answer.

He sighs deeply before replying.

"The next flight departs in forty five minutes."

My heart starts to race.

"And how long have we got until we get there?" I plead.

"Half an hour."

I'm shaking like a leaf. If that's the flight she's getting on, then we will literally have minutes. I'm struggling to think rationally. I'm struggling to _breathe_.

As soon as we land, we run into the SUV Taylor arranged to pick us up. It's pitch black outside now and it adds to the fear. Nobody speaks as we drive to the airport. It's a matter of moments and I'm freaking the fuck out. She can't take him, she just _can'_ _t_. I picture his sad little face, wondering where Mia is. He was looking forward to going out with her, he will be feeling so confused. He'll be missing his dad. _Missing me_...

I feel sick to my stomach. She can't take him away. I won't let her.

* * *

When we get to the airport, we all run inside. We're frantic as we search around, screaming Charlie's name. People look at us like we're crazy, but I don't care. There's way too much at stake to be acting sane right now.

"He's not here," Christian cries, running back to us. " _Fuck_! He's not here!" Tears fill his eyes and I feel my heart break.

"We're not out of time," I assure him, trying to stay strong. "The earliest flight doesn't depart for six minutes!"

"I can't lose my son Ana," Christian murmurs, tears falling freely now. "I just can't. He's my life."

"I know," I nod. "We won't. I promise."

Taylor and Sawyer leave to search around more and I head outside with Christian. I take his hand, pulling him forward.

"Maybe she hasn't arrived yet. There's other flights Christian. The earliest one is heading to Chicago and I can't see her going there. I think she'd want to get further away."

He doesn't answer and were once again hit by the cold night air. We walk around endlessly, for any sign of a new car approaching. I feel myself panicking. What if she's playing us? What if he's already gone?

 _Breathe Ana, breathe. She_ _'s coming here. We're going to get Charlie._ Christian's still calling his name and that's when I see a light in the vast empty space of distance. It approaches in the back of the parking lot and I squint to see harder, making my way forward.

As I get closer I see that the car is purple. It's pretty hideous and I see a woman get out. I run but it's quite far away. A halo of blonde hair comes into focus and I just _know_ it's Emma. I run as fast as I can but then I see her turn toward me. She catches my eye and bolts back into the car.

"EMMA!" I screech. She is _not_ going away. She is not taking him. I'm running but it's far and I've never been a good runner. I'm so tired but everything in me tells me to keep going. I'm not really aware of the flashing of the car lights, or Christian's screams and footsteps behind me. I have one goal and one goal only, which is to get Charlie back.

"STOP THE FUCKING CAR EMMA!" I screech. "ITS GAME OVER YOU BITCH."

I'm so close now that I can see her in the car screen. She's seething but I'm right in front of her. I've won, there's no where for her to go. I smile in victory, turning around to see Christian behind me breathless. His eyes are wide and he's screaming something but I can't make out the words.

And then I hear him shout.

"MOVE!" It's a blood curling scream and then everything's in slow motion. I turn back around toward the car slowly. I see it move, I feel hands around me as my head hits something with a piercing force and everything goes black.

* * *

When I wake, everything feels foggy. My head kills and I sit up with a groan. My surroundings are white and pristine. I quickly realize I'm in a hospital room. Looking around frantically, I find Christian in a bed across from me, propped up on his computer. My voice is hoarse as I call him, panicking.

"Baby," he says immediately, getting out of the bed and dashing across to me.

"What's happening?" I ask anxiously. I wince as a pain washes over my head and I press my hand against it.

He sits on my bed and that's when I notice his arm in a cast and scratches decorate his perfect face. _What the hell_. I try to trace back in my mind the events that I last remember. Us trying to find Charlie, driving to the airport, Emma and her car…

I gasp. "Emma, she ran us over?"

He nods. "Psychotic bitch."

"Where's Charlie?" I cry.

"He's safe," Christian breathes. "He was in the car, Taylor and Sawyer got him. He's back at the penthouse with my parents and Mia."

"Thank God." I start to cry properly now and flop back onto the pillows.

"She could have killed us," I whisper.

"She's claiming it was an accident."

I laugh through my tears angrily at her audacity.

"What happened to me?" I ask tentatively after a few moments.

"You had a very bad concussion and lots of bruising from the impact of the fall. You've also got a fractured rib and broken ankle. I pushed us out of the way just in time to avoid serious damage."

"You saved me," I whisper.

He picks my hand up and presses a kiss there softly. "I'm _so_ sorry I got you into this. I…I just don't even know what to say."

I shake my head and bring his hand to my wet face. "Not your fault."

We stay like that for a while. I try to absorb everything while thanking God that Charlie is safe and okay. That's all I really cared about.

"Where's Emma now?" I wonder.

"Well, I have a restraining order against her. I'm also pressing charges for kidnapping and running us over." He sighs sadly then. "Unfortunately, my kidnapping charge isn't great. Because I don't have full custody, she's technically _allowed_ to take him on vacation, which is what she insists she was doing. Their flight was booked to California and so it's believable. She claims she intended to bring him back and she didn't tell me because I wouldn't approve."

"She's good," I laugh weakly. "She knows what she's doing doesn't she?"

"Yeah," he spits. "But so do I and I'm _this_ close to getting my evidence." He imitates a pinching motion with his fingers.

"How long have I been here?" I ask after a second.

"Almost two days."

"No wonder my head hurts. When can we go home? Do my parents know?"

"They know," he nods. "I phoned them and they were here this morning. As for going home, I have no idea. I expect they want you in for a bit longer to keep an eye on your concussion."

I sigh. I just want to get out of here and go as far away as possible.

"I want to leave," I say quietly. "Just, pack our bags and _go_."

"That's my intention Ana," he says sincerely. "I promise."

* * *

The doctor comes a little while later and checks all my vitals. She says _both_ of us are absolutely fine and healthy but wants me in another night just to make sure. I also find out that Christian was in fact discharged yesterday.

"You should go home to Charlie," I tell him. "He'll be missing you."

"I need to be with _you_ Ana," he insists. "You're the one lying in the hospital bed. Charlie's eating pizza with his family. He's fine."

I bite my lip. I can't get Emma out of my head. What if she tries to take him again? I somehow don't think that a woman who was prepared to run me over really cares about a restraining order. I want Christian to be there with Charlie.

"Where is Emma?" I ask. "Is she at the old house?"

He nods. "I assume. The police have agreed it's best she doesn't see Charlie until the court hearing."

"What court hearing?" I ask alarmed.

"The custody hearing," he answers, placing his hands in his head. "We're both fighting for full custody."

"They can't possibly let her win Christian," I say certainly.

"They usually favor mothers."

"But she's never there for him!" I'm shouting now. "Charlie much prefers you. She _can't_ get him."

He shakes his head and lays down next to me. "I don't want to talk about it." He then turns toward me and brings his fingers up to stroke the side of my face. "How's your head?" He asks softly. "You're quite hurt."

"It's alright," I shrug. Truthfully, I am in pain, but I don't want to admit that in case it earns me another night here.

For the first time in what feels like forever, he brushes his lips softly against mine and I close my eyes. "I was terrified when you wouldn't wake up," he admits. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Ana."

"Shh," I say gently, stroking his own face now. "I'm okay, and you're okay."

I kiss him back and then we're interrupted by a nurse.

"I've just come to change your dressing and check your rib bruises honey," she says sweetly.

Christian moves back to the chair beside me while she tenderly changes the dressing around my mid section. I wince while she does. For the first time I see that the left side of my chest is ravaged. Cuts and bruises litter all of it and there's a particularly nasty deep cut just underneath my breast. This is where she changes the dressing.

"Sorry sweetheart," she says as she tenderly places a clean one over it. "It's a good job it is this high up though," she smiles. "No damage to the little one now."

"What?" I ask confused.

She knits her eyebrows together and a glance at Christian tells me he's just as puzzled.

"The baby," she says, as if it's completely obvious. "The doctor told you the both of you were fine."

"What?" I breathe rapidly. "No….no, she said both of _us_ were fine and healthy." I gesture between myself and Christian.

She pulls down the hideous nightgown as she straightens up and smiles down at me again.

"You're almost thirteen weeks' pregnant sweetheart," she says gently. "It's okay. You're _both_ fine."

* * *

 **Please review. Christian POV will be up soon over on the blog. xoxo**


	23. Chapter 23

Tuesday 2nd December

I'm at the penthouse now, on the couch cuddling blankets and cushions. It's evening, Charlie is in bed and Christian is making me some tea in the kitchen.

The past few days have been rough. Christian has been arranging court meetings and pressing charges and with the news of my pregnancy, I've just been very overwhelmed. I can't wait for this to just all be over so that we can move away. We've decided not to tell anybody the news, we want to wait until all this mess is over so that we can celebrate properly.

Christian now comes over to me.

"Thank you," I say quietly as he places the mug in my hand.

I wince from reaching up. My side is still really sore and Christian has to change the dressing each day for me. My forehead cut has also been stitched up tightly; I've got some strong painkillers for the headaches.

He sits beside me and I lean into his side (my good one). His lips brush the top of my hair and I feel instantly comforted.

"How you feeling?" He asks.

"Better now you're here." I take a sip of tea and it warms my insides.

"Looking forward to Christmas?"

I look up at him. "I haven't even thought about it," I say sadly. "With everything going on."

"That's exactly _why_ we should think about it. How do you feel about spending it in Australia?"

I look at him in shock.

"I'm serious," he chuckles. "It will be nice. I'll get us a penthouse overlooking the beach. We can sunbathe every day, visit kangaroos, swim with the turtles. Whatever you want."

"Really?" I ask. I can't contain the huge grin on my face right now.

"Of course. We need a getaway and I think Christmas will be the perfect time for it. We can celebrate our first together. Charlie will be delighted."

I pull his head down so that I can kiss his beautiful face. "You're the absolute best," I say. "That would be a dream Christian."

He kisses me softly and I want him so badly. I haven't been able to because of my injuries and it sucks. Regretfully, I pull away and finish my tea while we sit in a comfortable silence. Finally I ask the question I've been wanting to ask for the past few days.

"Have you…set a court date yet?" I finally say.

"Friday," he answers quietly. "I've been speaking with my lawyers and they've put together a really strong case for attempted kidnap and driving the car into us with intent to harm."

"That's good right?"

"Very good," he says, but I can sense nervousness still in his voice.

"What is it?" I ask softly, taking his hand in mine.

"They think it would be a good idea for Charlie to stand trial. Tell them what happened on that day and how he feels about myself and his mother."

I grimace. He's a child who might get nervous and not know what to say.

"You don't have to," I remind him.

"I hate the idea, but I do think it will make the case stronger," he says. "I'm just worried for his sake. Having to give evidence against his own mother."

"She tried to kill me Christian," I remind him. "And she tried to take Charlie away from you forever. You can't keep sparing her feelings."

"I'm not Ana," he sighs. "I don't give a fuck about her. I'm just scared for my son. What he'll think of her when he grows up."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, we need to do anything and everything to get full custody of Charlie. We need to be ruthless, just like she is."

He brings my hand up to his to kiss. "I don't want you to worry about it too much okay? You're pregnant and you're healing from the accident. Just concentrate on being happy."

He kisses my lips then and I cup his face between my palms.

"You make me happy," I murmur.

"As do you."

I shake my head. He's misunderstanding me and so I bring his hand to brush across my breasts.

"You can make me _very_ happy this way," I breathe.

His hand lingers there for a moment before moving down to rest gently on my hip.

"You know we can't."

"We can if you're careful." I kiss him again, firmer this time. "Please."

He narrows his eyes at me before very carefully pushing me down onto the couch while he hovers over me. I'm all tangled in the blankets and my breasts are straining against the tank.

"I'll give you a release but I'm not fucking you," he smirks, knowing how much I crave his touch. "I'm not going to risking hurting you."

I pout but he erases that when he places his lips over mine, getting me all worked up. Through my top, he palms my boobs, which are feeling very sensitive today.

"They'll get bigger," he notes as he slides his hand underneath now.

"I know."

He tweaks my nipple between his fingers and I sigh loudly.

"Shh, we're in the living room," he grins.

Soon, underneath the blankets and underneath my pyjama shorts and panties, his fingers find my wetness where they circle slowly around my nub while I breathe heavily into his mouth. There's something very erotic about still being dressed while being pleasured on a couch.

"Always wet for me Ana," he says satisfactorily as he slides two fingers in promptly, thrusting them toward my g spot. I cry out.

"Let's try three," he says sexily as another one joins in. It's such a tight fit and I feel very full.

"Good?" He asks, knowing full well it is.

"Mhmm."

He moves faster and faster until I reach a quick but powerful orgasm.

* * *

Wednesday 3rd December

It's officially only two days until Friday and I'm terrified. On top of that, I'm meeting Christian's parents for the first time tonight. They're coming around for dinner and to talk about things, along with Mia and Christian's brother Elliot whom I've never met. Christian has assured me over and over again that it will be fine but I'm not so sure. I'm bringing Kate for support; Jose has work unfortunately.

"What should I wear?" I ask him as we drop Charlie to school.

Security will now be waiting outside of Charlie's school all day until court but Christian will be driving him to and from there. This is what Emma has reduced us too.

"Wear whatever you want Ana," he says calmly, eyes on the road.

"Okay, so sweats and your t-shirt?" I say sarcastically.

He shrugs. "If you'd like."

"Christian."

"We can go shopping if you'd like. Get you a ball gown."

I roll my eyes but can't help laugh a little. He's such an idiot at times.

"Why are you wearing a gown Ana?" Charlie asks from the back.

"I'm not, daddy is being silly."

"Are you and daddy married?" He asks curiously then.

I glance at Christian and he just shrugs back, leaving me to answer.

"No, not yet honey," I say. _He hasn't asked me._

"Will you?"

I'm not really sure how to answer that. Luckily, we're now at school and Christian hops out. Charlie waves goodbye and I sit, waiting for my _boyfriend_.

* * *

We do end up shopping. We hold hands as we look around, Taylor and Sawyer walking a few steps behind us. It feels nice to be out with Christian, not caring if we're seen. Just getting to be a normal couple for once. There's no more sneaking around and I love that.

"Should I wear a dress?" I ask him as I finger through some pretty slinky ones.

"It's just dinner Ana."

"I don't want to make a bad impression," I insist. "They're going hate me anyway, no need to add to it."

"They're not going to hate you," he says harshly.

"Whatever."

We carry on looking around until I eventually settle on a nice pale blue silky top with a matching midi skirt. Smart casual. Not too over the top. After that, Christian buys some expensive wine and things before we have lunch. It's a nice little day and I almost forget about dinner until we're on the way home.

"Please stop stressing Ana," Christian says, once we're inside.

"I can't help it."

He holds my shoulders and looks down into my eyes.

"Please, try to relax." He circles me in his arms, hugging me tight.

"I'll try," I say quietly.

* * *

The day drags. When Christian goes to collect Charlie from school I take a bath and facetime Kate.

"I'm so excited for tonight," she grins, applying a face mask.

I only wish I could share in her excitement.

"Is the hot older brother going to be there?" She asks.

I nod but warn her. "Kate, he's even older than Christian, he's like thirty-three I think."

She shrugs. "I don't care. _Imagine_ how good the sex will be."

I roll my eyes.

We discuss what we're both wearing and I want to tell her I'm pregnant so badly. And I will. I want to tell her and Jose at the same time, just after I get this dinner out of the way. I want them to know and to be excited for me. Staring down at my belly, I still don't think it's hitting me that there's a tiny baby in there. A little human that is half me and half Christian who is all ours. I'm about to become somebody's mother…

"Ana?" Kate snaps me out of my reverie, pulling me back to the present.

"Red or black?" She asks, showing me two dresses.

"Black."

"I think I'll go for red," she says.

* * *

They'll be coming any moment now. I'm all dressed and ready and Kate's presence has helped me relax a lot. She's a stranger to them too.

"Relax Ana," she says. "They're just Christian's parents. Does it really matter what they think of you?"

I look at her incredulously.

"Um, yes it does."

"Christian loves you and so does Charlie. Mia likes you too so what's to worry about? If they don't like you then that's their problem. Not yours."

"Christian isn't just a boyfriend Kate," I say, fixing my hair in the mirror. "He's it for me. I want him forever and so they _need_ to like me."

I can see her internally rolling her eyes, not believing me but I don't care. I know that it's true.

Christian's family arrive just after six. Mia walks in first, dressed in an elaborate sparkly jumpsuit and holding wine. Next, a very tall and muscular blonde man who I can only assume is Elliot.

Kate elbows me from our place on the breakfast bar.

"He's _gorgeous."_

I'm sipping water nervously, too anxious to respond.

I glance over to see an elegant blonde woman wearing chiffon pink and heels followed closely by a tall man in his late fifties. They scream glamour, elegance, beauty and wealth and it's easy to see where Christian gets his charm and taste from. I'm a little intimidated to say the least. I watch as Christian greets his parents, kissing his mother respectively on each cheek. Charlie runs to them and Elliot lifts him, spinning him around. I idly wonder if they'll be that affectionate to my baby.

 _My baby_.

A sudden urge of love washes over me for my unborn child. I can't wait to meet them and I silently vow to take care of them forever and ever.

I stay stationary at the bar, sipping my drink. When Mia comes in she gives me a tight hug and so does Elliot much to my surprise.

"Nice to meet you," he grins. "Elliot."

"Ana," I smile, happy at his display of affection.

"And you?" He turns toward Kate and for the first time ever, I see her blush.

"Kate," she says, looking dreamily into his eyes.

I'm torn away by Mr and Mrs Grey approaching with Christian. I stand and Christian pulls me into his side, circling my back gently.

"Mom, dad, this is Ana. Ana, Grace and Carrick."

"Nice to meet you," I smile.

Grace gives me a small smile and shakes my hand warmly. Carrick does the same although the smile doesn't quite meet his eyes.

"Pleasure to meet you," he says stiffly.

"I can see why my son likes you," Grace says, taking me in. "You're absolutely lovely to look at." I can't tell whether it's a compliment or not so I refrain from answering, opting to smile awkwardly.

"Let's eat," Christian announces, breaking the tension.

We all follow him into the dining room where Gail serves us starters of some type of chicken salad volantes. Grace uses this opportunity to get to know me.

"Are you a student Ana?" She asks.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm taking a year off, I plan on going next year."

"She doesn't know if college is what she wants," Christian interrupts. I shoot him side daggers.

"What would you do then?" Carrick asks.

"I'm writing a book," I explain.

"That's amazing," Mia chimes in. "I can't wait to read it."

"That's lovely," Grace smiles. She then turns her attention to Christian rapidly, firing him with a series of questions about the court hearing.

"I've got it under control," he assures her.

"Do you know what she's planning son?" Carrick interrupts.

He shrugs in response. "My team and I have a strong defence. _Please_ stop worrying."

"Of course we'll worry," Grace snaps. "You know, if you just went for joint custody this would all be so much easier."

Christian glares at her. "I don't want to have joint. She's never looked after him properly. I want full and I'm getting it."

The rest of the table is silent, apart from oblivious Charlie who scrapes his fork across the plate loudly.

"Very well," Grace replies. She looks down at the table and Carrick places his hand in hers comfortingly.

"Would anybody like wine?" Mia asks, breaking the tension suddenly. She pulls out an expensive bottle of red and begins pouring glasses for everyone.

"No thanks," I say when she gets to me.

Nobody notices anything except Kate who looks at me expectantly. I shake my head, indicating it's not a topic up for discussion right now. She shrugs and turns back toward Elliot.

The rest of the dinner runs pretty smoothly. Grace and Carrick keep pretty quiet and Kate and Elliot are engrossed in conversation and drinking copious amounts of wine. I have a feeling she'll be going home with him later tonight. As for me, I'm feeling tired. I just want to go to bed and snuggle up with Christian.

As we eat dessert, I feel Grace's eyes watching me. I wonder what she really thinks of me and whether or not she'll warm up to me eventually when she realises that I can make Christian happy.

"We should have dinner at your place sometime Anastasia," she says. "I'd like to get to know your parents. What do they think of all this?"

I shrug between a lick of my spoon. "They're not happy, mainly my father and so I've been staying here."

"You've moved in here?" She asks surprised.

"Unofficially."

She nods for a moment. "I think it would be good to invite your parents here in that case."

Why does she want to see my parents so badly? Is it a little suspicious or am I just paranoid?

"I don't think they're in the mood for dinner dates," I reply. "But maybe one day."

She purses her lips but stays silent. Carrick smiles over at me, almost apologetically.

I'm glad when dinner is finally over. It's not even eight yet but I'm exhausted. Everybody congregates in the lounge to relax and talk and I don't even notice when I fall asleep in Christian's arms.

* * *

I awake to fluttery kisses and face caresses. I smile while my eyes are still closed, my lips hungrily searching for their missing pair. Christian kisses me back softly and I feel the warm bed underneath me. Glancing down, I see that I'm in my pj's and my dressing is all cleaned and changed.

"You did all this while I slept?" I ask softly.

He nods. "I didn't want to wake you up. You were so tired, you fell asleep on me while everyone was here."

"That's embarrassing," I grin. "What happened to Kate?"

"She went home with Elliot," he grimaces in response.

 _Just like I thought she would. I can't wait to hear all about it._

"Your parents?"

"They left first, about half an hour after you fell asleep. That's when I put you to bed. The others didn't leave until much later, we were all just having a drink really."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." I kiss him again a little more forcefully. Gripping onto his bicep, I look my delicious boyfriend up and down.

"I miss you," I tell him.

"I miss you too," he says wistfully, leaning down to kiss my neck. "I'd love to be buried inside you right now. Away from the world and consumed in you."

Closing my eyes, I run my fingers through his soft hair. " _Please_. You can go slow, I know you won't hurt me. We can do slow."

His kisses move down to my breasts and it doesn't take much convincing after that.

* * *

Please Review!xxx


	24. Chapter 24

Friday 5th December

This is it.

The day that we've all been waiting for. The predetermined date that was made the moment Christian and I first kissed. It feels as though everything has been leading up to this moment and soon, we'll find out whether or not Christian will get full custody of Charlie. I am absolutely _terrified._

It's 7am in the morning and I've just awaken. Christian isn't next to me, as expected. He's been out of his mind and I know without a doubt that he wouldn't have gotten a wink of sleep last night. I get out of bed, pulling on his robe and pad out to the kitchen where I find him already dressed in his suit and sipping coffee anxiously.

"Court's not till ten," I say, rubbing his shoulder soothingly as I take my seat next to him.

He doesn't answer and Gail looks across me tiredly.

"Coffee Ana?"

"I'll have a small cup," I say politely.

She nods and bustles around. I turn Christian to face me.

"Hey," I say, stroking his face. "Look at me, everything's going to be okay. I promise."

He doesn't answer but rests his head on top of mine and I know that right now that this is all he needs. Minimal speaking, lots of comfort.

After my coffee, I take my time getting ready for the day. I'm standing trial to say what happened when she tried to run me over and I'm nervous of messing up. I shower quickly and let my hair dry as I do makeup. I keep it very low key and minimalistic and I dress in a navy blue casual suit Christian bought me yesterday. Charlie wakes after eight and Christian gets him ready while I sit and worry. Worrying isn't good for my baby, I know that, but I can't help it. On the small chance that Christian doesn't get full custody, I'm not sure what would become of him. Or Charlie.

 _No negative thoughts Ana. Only positive. I have to do this, I have to be strong for them both._

And so with all the strength I can muster, I stand up, plaster on a smile and vow to be the woman that Christian and Charlie need in their life.

* * *

Walking into court, my heels clapping against the wooden floor feels a little surreal. It's like a court drama but I'm not just watching behind a screen anymore. I'm the active participant whose voice matters. I see Emma instantly. Her hair is shiny and sleek, she's in a modest dress with minimal makeup, trying to uphold the look for mother of the year.

Christian's family are all here to support us which is nice. He needs that. The room isn't very big, it's not a huge court like I've seen on TV. It is quite modest and there is no jury as this is family court. I'm absolutely shaking like a leaf when I'm guided to my seat. The judge then speaks.

"Mr Christian Trevelyan Grey, Ms Emma Louise Davies, both of you are fighting for full custody of Charlie Christian Grey," he says, reading from his papers. Both Christian and Emma respond yes.

"It is in my understanding that joint custody of the child is not an option?"

"Ms Davies is agreeable to joint custody," Emma's lawyer says. He's young and defensive of her and I immediately wonder when she decided to lift her skirt up for him.

"Mr Grey, you are not agreeable to joint custody is that correct?" The Judge asks.

"Mr Grey is not agreeable to joint custody." Christian's lawyer, Simmons, speaks on behalf of him.

The judge looks down at his papers again. "I understand the child is currently residing with Mr Grey due to an altercation last week after charges were made against Ms Davies, accusing her of attempted kid."

"Yes," Christian says immediately. "She took Charlie from school and attempted to fly him out of the country."

"Sir, my client assures me she was surprising her son for a Disney World getaway," Emma's lawyer butts in. "I have the tickets as proof."

"Which my client was not aware of. Why was the father not informed?" Simmons counteracts.

"She did not want to face the wrath of Mr Grey's anger," he replies simply.

The judge looks toward Emma. "Ms Davies?"

"It is true," she says, looking at the floor. "He can be intimidating. I did not want him to refuse and get angry with me."

I'm seething and I see that Christian is too. His fists are clenched white against the table in front of him. I can hardly believe she'd stoop this low. That she'd _dare_ go down this route.

"Sir, the tickets were indeed booked to Florida," Simmons cuts in. "However, both names were changed when booking. Ms Davies used alias' to cover her tracks and also payed cash for a new car."

He hands the judge this evidence and he scans them over quickly. He then turns to Emma waiting for an explanation.

"Again, she was frightened of what would have happened, had she told Mr Grey," her attorney says in defense.

"What do you think might have happened, if you had told Mr Grey?" the Judge asks sympathetically.

Emma looks down again and shrugs. "His temper sometimes gets the best of him. I was afraid he might hurt me."

"Bullshit," I cry out. The judge immediately silences me and Mia tells me to calm down but I won't listen.

"He is _not_ violent," I interrupt again. "She has not _once_ made a charge against him and I'm here to testify that he has never laid a hand on me or even raised his voice. Christian would _never_ hurt her."

"Ma'am, you are?"

"The nineteen-year-old he left me for," Emma says quietly.

"I'm the woman she ran over on that night as I was trying to save Charlie from being taken away. She deliberately drove her car into me, trying to kill me," I say vividly. "I blacked out and was taken to hospital, sustaining several injuries."

Christian's lawyer then presents the judge with my medical evidence.

"There's also CCTV footage," he adds.

"My honour, it was an accident," Emma says but she's silenced while he reads over everything. He then looks directly at me.

"You say you were trying to save the child?" He asks.

"Yes," I say hurriedly. "We were in a frenzy. She was going to take Charlie away forever. It was the culmination to a series of events that started ever since I've been with Mr Grey. Emma has been out for revenge ever since. Between leaking stories to the press and blackmailing Christian's staff for information, she has been relentless."

Emma goes to say something but is silenced again. I then present the judge with my own evidence of tabloid stories and text messages uncovered from Sawyer of the messages between Emma and Welch.

The judge considers this heavily.

"It is now definitely seeming like a pre-planned act of revenge," he says. "However, that is not reason alone to warrant full custody of a child. I want to know details of the child's relationships with both parents. Gary should be finished now."

During this process, Charlie has been taken into another room to talk about his parents. His little face now appears on the screen, talking to a friendly looking man. We all hold our breath as we wait for it to play.

"So Charlie, can you tell me what you enjoy the most about school?" Gary asks.

"Painting and we play the piano like with daddy," he says quietly.

"That's fantastic, is that something you do a lot with daddy?"

He nods.

"What else do you do with him?"

"Climbing and tennis and swimming all the time. With Ana I get ice cream and go to the park and play Lego and watch movies."

"That sounds brilliant, is Ana nice to you?"

He nods again. "I love Ana."

"What about mommy? What kind of things do you do with her?" He asks then.

I watch Emma draw a sharp intake of breath.

Charlie doesn't respond for a while. "She doesn't like swimming," he finally settles on.

"Okay, a lot of people don't like swimming but I _love_ swimming too. Can you tell me about the night mommy came to get you from school?"

"I wanted Mia," he says sadly. "We were going to the theatre."

"Mia, is that your aunt?"

He nods.

"Did mommy take you somewhere else exciting though?"

He shakes his head. "She wouldn't let me call daddy and then we hurt Ana."

"You hurt Ana?"

"From the car," he nods. "I was scared but she's okay now."

My heart breaks for this poor sweet child. I love him _so_ much.

"And would you be happy if you lived with mommy all the time Charlie?"

He shakes his head no.

"And what about daddy?"

He shakes his head yes. "Mommy can visit me."

The screen cuts away and we all turn around.

Emma's face is bright red, with anger or sadness I can't be sure. Simmons then presents the judge with an outline of Emma's work schedule.

"Ms Davies having full custody of the child would likely result in a full-time nanny," he explains. "She spends no time with her son whatsoever and we can attest to that."

"Mr Grey also works long hours," her lawyer says bitterly.

"Mr Grey is a CEO with his own flexibility," Simmons replies. "Plus, Ana is willing to look after him when Mr Grey cannot. Your honour, I implore you to see reason. The child is happier with his father, Ms Davies never sees her son and they barely have a functioning relationship. Ms Davies is out for revenge against Miss Steele and has had several affairs before Anastasia even came into the picture." Again, he hands over evidence of text messages. "She is out to spite Mr Grey by sabotaging a loving father-child relationship. She has also shown to be impulsive and dangerous, kidnapping Charlie from school against his well, attempting to disappear with him and almost fatally killing a young girl. Mr Grey should be granted full custody of Charlie Grey with visitation rights."

There are no more replies to that and I wait, feeling my stomach doing back flips.

"The child will reside with Mr Grey until we reach an affirmed decision," the judge finally says. "Contact with the child on behalf of Ms Davies will be suspended until then due to the sensitive situation."

"What?" Emma cries, her anger finally bursting through. "You can't fucking do that, how long will it take?"

"Usually a while," he replies. "In this case however, a few weeks should be sufficient."

 _In this case_. Which basically means the amount of money Christian has paid him to get it over with quicker, much like his divorce. Still, I can't stand the anticipation of waiting that long. I need to know _now_.

A few seconds later, I feel Christian's arm around my waist and I lean into him, instantly feeling safe and comforted. Not giving a fuck who's watching, I reach up, taking his face in both hands and kissing him fiercely. He responds just as enthusiastically and then takes my hand as we head home leaving Emma looking angry and ridiculous.

* * *

Monday 15th December

Ten days until Christmas. Ten days since the court hearing. I've been ill with morning sickness for the past week but I've managed to play with Charlie and continue writing my book. For the most part, we have tried to not think about the case and get on with daily life. Emma has taken away enough precious days from us already. Charlie is off school for the holidays now and our trip to Australia has been booked for Thursday. I'm beyond excited and have already packed most of my things.

Christian's currently still at work and Charlie is watching a movie. Kate suddenly facetimes me and I answer excitedly.

"How's Elliot?" I ask.

Kate has that all loved up glow and I have a feeling Jordan is long forgotten.

"Great," she says coyly.

"Tell me more," I demand, stuffing my face with popcorn. I throw one to Charlie and he giggles, catching it in his mouth.

"We went out for a meal yesterday, he brought me flowers and everything. He's stopping over tonight. I have a feeling this might be serious Ana," she says.

"Kate, I'm so happy for you," I smile honestly. "You truly deserve the best."

Elliot seems just as infatuated with Kate as she is with him. They wasted no time in getting together. Apparently, the night they met, Kate had _the best sex of her entire lif_ e and came _three_ times. She insisted on telling me. They've been obsessed with each other ever since.

We talk for a little while until Christian gets in. I say goodbye to her and go to greet my beautiful sexy boyfriend at the door. I've missed him. I always miss him and I throw my arms around his neck.

"What's that for?" He chuckles.

"I just love you," I smile.

"Thank you," he smirks cockily.

I playfully shove him and his hands grab my ass.

" _Oh_ , feels firmer," he grins.

"Are you saying I'm fat?" I say, pretending to be abashed.

He lifts me up and presses me against the wall, leaving me trapped between himself and the wallpaper.

"You're perfect," he says, leaning in to kiss my neck and if Charlie wasn't in the next room, all of his clothes would be long gone.

Tonight is wonderful. We all finish watching Charlie's movie with him and then we order dessert as a treat and make a fort on the floor. Charlie ends up falling asleep cosily in there and Christian makes me scream his name endlessly with a very erotic display of handcuffs and toys.

The next morning, he attempts to make me breakfast in bed (bless his heart.) We end up however with a store-bought fruit salad and a few hours later, find out that Christian has been granted _full_ custody of my precious little Charlie.

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait! It's exam season and I've been busy! Hope you enjoy this chapter, I loved writing it, and as always, please let me know what you think!xxx**


	25. Chapter 25

Friday 20th December

As we descend the plane doors and onto the steps, the rush of delicious heat hits me in all the right ways. It's fantastic, and worth every second of the extremely long flight.

We flew first class and I napped for half the flight and watched movies with Charlie the other half. It's just Christian, Charlie and I – (and baby Grey in my belly of course) which is great because we're desperate for some much-needed family time. Per Grey fashion, a car is waiting for us to drive us down to the villa in which we'll be staying. Christian has rented us out a lavish four bedroomed three bath-roomed house, overlooking the most marvellous private beach. It is the Versace Palazzo, situated among palm trees, an enormous pool and hot tub. Opulence would perhaps be the biggest understatement.

"To your satisfaction?" Christian asks, breaking me out of my gaze and coming up behind me.

I'm standing on the balcony that overlooks the glorious blue ocean; It's just outside our master room. His hands wrap around my waist and I lean back into his chest. My haven.

"Beyond any expectations," I whisper.

He moves my hair to the side, kissing there softly. I close my eyes and give myself over to the feeling.

"What would you like to do first?" He asks.

"You," I say back sultrily.

"Apart from that," he chuckles.

"Charlie really wants to go to the beach," I say, turning around and looking up at him with a smile.

His hands are still wrapped around me and he nods, kissing the top of my head softly.

"The beach it is."

The beaches here are spectacular. We visit the nearest one from our villa which is literally a two-minute walk. The sand is like golden powder, silky to the touch and completely iridescent. The baby blue ocean is the same; it ripples through my fingers shining aqua and emerald. As I stand there, watching the never-ending water, a feeling hits me deep in my chest. Overwhelming emotions spirals over me as I contemplate the events which have led me here today. Never in a million years did I dream I would find somebody like Christian; someone whom I love so much. Charlie breaks me out of my reverie by asking for help with a fort he's building.

"Are you having fun?" I ask him as I bend down to let the silky sand touch my skin.

"This is the best," he grins. "I love you Ana."

His little admission greets me by surprise. I can't help but smother him while he tries to wriggle away.

"I love you too sweetheart," I say, kissing his hair.

He finally escapes my grasp and resumes his building. As I look closer at his features, I realise that he is looking more and more like Christian every day. His hair is even darkening to Christian's magnificent shade.

Speaking of my beloved boyfriend, he now walks over to us slowly, balancing three large ice creams that are quickly melting in his hands. I run to him and relieve him of one; the chocolate to be exact. I lick it slowly and he watches me with a shake of his head.

"Do you know how sexy you are running around in that little bikini?" He asks.

I give him a twirl. I'm wearing a bright pink two piece, something that I knew would have Christian captivated all day. When we reach Charlie, he grabs the strawberry and Christian is left with – " _vanilla_ ," I whisper to him. "Are you a big fan of vanilla Mr Grey?"

"Seems so," he smirks.

And now we sit, on the sand eating ice cream in all its glory as the sun burns down on us.

What are you thinking about?" Christian asks me, reaching over to interlace his fingers through mine.

I shrug. "How happy I feel in this moment," I say, never breaking my eyes off the pretty ocean view.

"Good," he says, and I can hear the smile through his voice. "That's all I want, is for you to be happy."

I look at him now. I drink him in as he sits there licking his ice cream in expensive shades and a white t shirt. The knowledge that he's all mine is sometimes a little too much to comprehend.

"I'm happy with you and Charlie," I tell him honestly. "It's the happiest I've ever been. All of the drama and tears has been worth it for this moment right now."

He squeezes me hand and we continue in a comfortable silence, breathing in the air and taking in the peaceful atmosphere.

After spending a few hours on the beach, we head for lunch in a glitzy four-star restaurant right on the shoreline. Feeling hungry, I opt for pizza and fries and Charlie copies me.

"I bring you all the way here and you choose pizza?" Christian laughs as he devours some exotic strange looking salad.

"Cravings," I tell him.

He looks at me lovingly then, knowing that I'm referring to our baby.

As the days, have gone by, I've gotten more and more excited about being pregnant but the weight of not telling anybody is still sitting heavily in the back of my head. So far, it's still only Christian and I who know and I quite like it that way. Although I do want to share my amazing news, I've been loving having something that's just completely ours. However, I know that I'll have to tell soon; although I'm not showing yet I will be in a few more weeks.

My parent's reaction will likely be one of horror. I still haven't had much contact with them since moving out and when I told my mother I was vacationing in Australia over Christmas; she practically broke down over the phone. Hearing her cry did hurt me a lot but there wasn't much I could do. I love my family, I truly do, but Christian is part of my family now. He's the father of my unborn child and if my dad can't accept that, then I must decide.

After lunch, we go shopping for a while. Charlie apparently has inherited his father's expensive taste in clothes and points at several new outfits in Gucci that he'd like. I roll my eyes and Christian notices.

"What?" He asks.

I look over at Charlie who is trying on his new $300 shoes.

"It's just a bit unnecessary don't you think?" I ask him. "Why does a five-year-old need such extravagant designer clothes?"

He shrugs in response. "Because I can afford it."

"That's not the point."

"It is the point," he disagrees. "Why have all this money if I can't spend it as I wish? These clothes are nothing to me Ana; they're like loose change. I could buy you an island if you wished."

"I do not wish for an island," I say annoyed. I hate when he acts so entitled.

"I work hard for my money," he adds more seriously then. "If I want to buy my son nice clothes then I shall. I'll be doing the same for my other child when they come along."

"You're going to dress a newborn in Gucci?" I ask in disbelief.

"Or Chanel," he wagers. I glare at him. "Look Ana," he continues. "I'm not like normal people. I'm a billionaire; I live a lavish lifestyle and now, so do you. You better just get used to it. If I didn't have all this money, you wouldn't be here in Australia and you would not be carrying around that bag," he motions to the Chanel purse I'm carrying. "You don't seem to complain when it's for your own benefit."

And just like that the magical happy spell is broken. I turn away from him, fighting back the tears in my eyes. The fact that he's implying I'm selfish and like his money when it's used to my advantage is preposterous. The purse to me is completely insignificant; he insisted on buying it for me. And I would have been just as happy on a budget holiday somewhere in Arizona.

"Ana?" He asks.

I stay where I am until he spins me around.

"You're crying?" He asks in horror.

"Of course I am," I breathe. "Every time I air an opinion you completely shut me down. I can't believe you think so low of me Christian. I don't care about purses or 5 star hotels; I care about you and Charlie. If you were somehow to lose every penny you owned tomorrow, I'd still be with you in a tent somewhere."

He has the decency to look guilty but I don't want to listen to his apology right now. I dismiss him and he heads off to pay for Charlie's items before we leave the store.

The rest of the day is quiet. We head back to the villa late afternoon and lounge by the pool for a few hours before heading in to watch a movie. Around seven, Charlie falls asleep exhausted with his head in my lap before Christian carries him upstairs. I head up too, opting to take a long bubble bath to avoid Christian for a while. Whilst I'm in there, I FaceTime Kate and Jose.

"How's Aussie?" Kate grins.

They're both at Kate's gauging on Taco Bell.

"Fabulous. The villa is to die for."

"I'm so jealous, we're freezing down here."

"Tell me about it," Jose mumbles, wrapping himself tightly in a hoodie.

"Any beach sex with Christian yet?" Kate asks. "Oh, or in the ocean."

I shake my head. "Having sex in water is bad for you," I tell her.

"I reckon that's just a myth," Jose scoffs. "To keep us from doing the dirty in the pools."

I can't help but laugh. I stay talking with my friends for another half hour or so before getting out of the bath. Wrapping myself in a fluffy white robe; Christian is waiting in the bedroom lounging while watching TV.

I dry off and slip into a pair of satin shorts and a matching cami. I feel his eyes on me as I dress.

"I'm sorry Ana," he finally says, making me turn around. "I never meant what I said. Sometimes, the words just don't come out right. I know that you don't care about money or material things."

"Then why say it?" I ask. "You hurt my feelings."

"I know," he replies. "I just got defensive I suppose. It rubbed me the wrong way that you disproved of me buying my child nice things. I take care of the people I love.

"Can we let it go?" I sigh, getting into bed. I sink into it; so, comfortable.

"No," he refuses, scooting over close to me. "I upset you and I'm sorry." One of his hands trails down the side of my face.

"Well, I'm sorry too," I huff. "I guess I'm just not used to somebody that literally has so much money. It's overwhelming."

"I understand but I'm not complaining Ana. It allows us to live this life so please just let me spend my money on giving you the very best."

I look at him and he moves in even closer.

"Please?" He whispers. His fingers dance across my belly where the top has ridden up a little.

"Stop trying to seduce me," I murmur.

That elicits laughter from him and his hands ride up my belly now completely, reaching up to gently tweak a nipple. I feel it harden under his touch and try desperately not to moan. He does it again and again and finally I sigh.

"Do you want me Ana?" He whispers, bringing his lips to my neck.

He sucks my skin between his teeth gently before beginning an assault on my throat and chest. I don't reply and he continues.

"I'll stop if you don't say yes," he teases me, momentarily ceasing his actions.

I grab his hand desperately and place it back on my breasts. He then leans in for a kiss and I attack his lips, feeling them move in time with my own. He tastes delicious and I just can't get enough. I pull him closer, morning softly as I feel his weight press against my aching body. I don't want to waste any time now and neither does he. His hands immediately travel down to my shorts where he pulls them off. A delicate finger trails down my folds before plunging into the wetness. I cry out his name into his mouth when he eases in another. His thumb rubs my clit in time with his pumps and his kisses are languid and drawn out.

"God," I whimper.

"There's no god here baby, only me," he says in response.

His lips move from my own now and down to my chest where he sucks in a nipple and sucks hungrily. My fingers knot in his hair as I rock against his hand, urging him to bring me to my release. I close my eyes; enjoying the sensations and then his mouth isn't on my breasts anymore. Looking down, I watch his hair as it tickles beneath my thighs and at the first touch of his tongue I gasp involuntarily. He takes my clit into his mouth, sucking it slowly like a gum drop and I'm done for. I feel my walls clench around his fingers as I come and I urge him back up my body.

It's like wildfire now. I'm turned on to the extreme and I flip him over so that I'm on top. With shaky hands, I pull down his pants and head straight for his rock-hard cock. I play with it slowly first, using my fingers as my aid in stroking and fondling him slowly. I look into his eyes as he clenches, desperately trying to hold back his sounds. Determined to hear them, I bend my head and take him into my waiting mouth, swirling around with my tongue before pulling him in deeper. He moans my name and so I do it repeatedly while he grips the sheets with one hand and my hair with another.

"Faster," he grunts out.

I take him in as deep as I can without choking until he reaches a powerful orgasm. Swallowing every drop, he pulls me back on top of him and kisses my lips, holding my face between the palms of his hands.

"You're a fucking goddess," he grins.

We kiss for a few moments before he's ready again and I slide down onto his shaft with ease, feeling him hitting places deep inside me. I place my hands on his chest, feeling the heat from him burning through my fingertips. He enjoys the view of my breasts bouncing heavily in front of him as I move up and down and he reaches up to play with one between his lips.

I cry out his name when I feel him hit my g spot and he grasps my hips as he moves me harder and faster. He hits it with each stroke and I hold onto one of his arms so hard that my fingernails leave dents in his skin.

"Ah, fuck," I whimper. "Christian don't stop."

He turns me over then so that I'm beneath his hot heavy body and plunges back into me at a pace that has me screaming. One of his hands wraps my thigh around his waist so he can hit all angles while another furiously rubs my clit. My hair is across my face and my body is shaking. This is fucking intense and I feel myself about to come again. Harder and harder he drills into me and I watch him on his knees above me, his face glistening with beads of sweat. When he hits against my g spot, I come with a cry and feel him do the same. His warmth mixes with my own and I fall flat on the pillows, heart racing and body shaking. Christian does the same and together we lie in silence; the only sounds heard are our breaths rising.

Finally, he turns toward me with an enormous smirk.

"Did I mention I was sorry?" He asks.

I pull him toward me, answering with a heavy kiss.

"I love you so much," I whisper against his lips.

"It's the sex talking," he chuckles and I roll on top of him again, never breaking contact with our mouths.

"Maybe," I smirk back, raising an eyebrow. "You sure know how to satisfy a woman."

I watch how his eyes take a second to flashback to another time before quickly returning to the present.

"How many lovers did you have before me?" I whisper, trailing a finger down his flushed body. I know he likes it when I do that.

"Does it matter?"

"No," I shake my head. "I'm just curious."

He sighs. "Around twenty maybe."

I can't completely hide my shock. "That's a lot," I eventually settle on.

He shrugs. "Perhaps."

"Who was your first?"

With a sigh, he rolls me off him and sits up. I follow him, slightly abashed.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I just finish having the most amazing sex with you and you're asking about other women?" He says irritatedly.

"I just want to know about you," I insist. "I want to know your past; you never share with me Christian."

"Yes I do," he says angrily.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I know you do, I mean your past regarding women," I correct myself.

"I just don't get why you care," he replies, flopping down into the pillows. "They're all irrelevant."

"Fine," I sigh, lying back down also.

We're both quiet now. I'm regretting asking about his other partners; perhaps now wasn't the correct time to do so. I've clearly put him in a mood but I can't help my curiosity. After what feels like forever, he finally speaks again quietly.

"You know my history in regards to BDSM," he says unknowingly. "How I met Emma."

I turn to him and nod.

"Well, the truth is that I didn't get into it by myself. I was introduced at a very young age by a woman named Elena. She was my mother's best friend."

I look at him confused. "How old was she?" I ask.

"She was almost thirty at the time. I was fifteen."

Vomit. Actual vomit is coming up in my throat and it takes everything in me to choke it back down.

"Are you serious?" I ask.

He nods.

"So a pedophile got you into BDSM?"

He cringes at the word.

"What the actual fuck Christian," I shout, sitting up in alarm. "That's some serious shit. Why didn't you tell your mother?"

He glares at me. "Why would I have done that? I was being seduced by a hot older woman. It's every boy's fantasy; she taught me everything I know about sex."

"That's disgusting," I retort.

"It's not entirely like that Ana," he says softer now. "I was in a rough place, she helped me out of it. She even loaned me money to start my business."

"That's a nice way to phrase _grooming_ ," I say sarcastically. "How long were you with her?"

"Until I was around 20," he says. "She introduced me to many subs over the years and I went to sex shows a lot to have random sex with women. I'm not proud of my past Ana but there's not much I can do about it."

I gasp in disbelief. "So this is the life you really want, isn't it? Your kinky BDSM shit. When you got bored with married life with Emma you left her. Will you do the same in a few years with me?"

"Fuck no," he shouts. "I'd never…Ana you're different. I still engaged in BDSM with Emma but I don't need that with you. I _love_ you, you're nothing like her or Elena or anybody I've met. You're kind and beautiful and…mine. I adore you."

"Where is she now?" I ask.

Knowing I'm referring to Elena, he sighs again with a shrug.

"We're not in contact Ana."

"Good."

Lying back down, I regret asking him at all. If this is what he's kept from me all these months, what other skeletons are hiding in his closet?

Turning to face him I tell him I don't want any more secrets.

"I promise," he says.

"Pinky promise," I laugh half-heartedly.

He grabs my pinky finger and promises before sealing the deal with the kiss.

* * *

 **I know it's been a hot minute since updating but I've been SUPER busy. Anyways, I'm back and this story hasn't got many chapters left. Hope you enjoyed and as always, please leave a review xxxx**


	26. Chapter 26

The rest of our time in Australia is blissful. Christian and I do not mention Elena of his other submissives during the remainder but the idea of her is still haunting me in the back of my mind. I can't believe what she did to him and even worse, how he seems to even think that it was remotely okay. She raped and abused him. He was a child and therefore in no position to give consent. I want to ask more about the things she did to him, the life she set him up for but for now I refrain. Instead, I opt to enjoy the sunshine and beaches before the tornado storm of my teenage pregnancy hits news back home.

Christmas is a wonderful affair, and extremely different. We start our day with breakfast out on the terrace and then proceed to open Christmas presents underneath the little tree we purchased at target. To nobody's surprise, Christian has spoiled us endlessly and insists he has other gifts waiting for us at home additionally. For Charlie, he buys him an entire assortment of Lego, cars, racing tracks, play army gear, clothes and so forth. Dosed up on sugar and happiness, he's over the moon with everything and appears to be having the best time of his life.

For me, Christian presents me with my first present which is a pair of diamond earrings. I finger over them slowly, not quite believing I'm the new owner of these precious jewels. They're from Cartier and therefore, I can only assume what they cost but I don't think about it. I instead ask Christian to put them in for me and he responds with the biggest grin.

"You like them?" He asks, shifting closer.

"They're beautiful," I say.

He puts them in for me carefully and then kisses the side of my ear.

"They look stunning on you," he breathes.

I kiss him in earnest and hand him my present. I know that the cost will never compare to the things he gets me but it's heartfelt and I put so much time and energy into it during those worrying nights when we had to deal with Emma. He unwraps it slowly and I bite my lip in apprehension.

I've made him a scrapbook, complete with snippets of our memories together so far. Some entries are hand drawn, some are written, some are scrapbooking elements such as pictures, tickets etc.… one of my favorites is from the night we first had sex. I took a picture of us the next morning with messy bed hair and had it printed along with a journal entry on how amazing it was. I also taped the condom packet we used in the corner. It's one of the most personal things I've ever made and giving it to Christian, places all my trust in him. I watch nervously as he flicks through the pages, carefully like it's made of glass. When he's finished, he looks up at me with a look of awe and bewilderment.

"Ana…"

"Do you like it?" I ask quietly.

"It's the most valuable thing I've ever been given, apart from you yourself."

My eyes visibly light up at his words and I throw my arms around his neck, crying as I do so.

"Damn hormones," I mutter into his neck. "I'm just so happy you like it."

"I love it," he insists, pulling back to wipe my eyes. "And I love you my beautiful girl."

He kisses me slowly, pouring out all the love and it mixes with mine, creating our own kind of cocktail nobody could replicate.

* * *

All in all, our time in Australia is everything I could have wanted and more. As we were also away for New Year, we attended a firework show on the beach and it was truly magical. When we step off the plane in Seattle, I'm actually a little sad. Christian senses my mood change and wraps a comforting arm around my waist.

"Don't worry," he says, kissing the top of my head. "It's all exactly where we left it and we can go back anytime."

I smile, knowing that he's absolutely right.

I'm excited to see my friends when I arrive back home. After a day of catching up on some sleep, Christian attends to work needs and Charlie spends a few days with his grandparents. I pack my bag to head to Kate's and Christian kisses me before I leave.

"I'm going to miss you," he says regretfully.

"It's just a few days," I laugh. "But, I'll miss you too," I promise, hugging him tightly.

"Make sure you call me and Taylor will drop you and pick you up. No objections."

"Yes sir," I say.

He squeezes my butt affectionately before letting me go.

Once I'm at Kate's, I'm attacked by my two best friends before I'm even through the door.

"It's been so long Annie," Kate whines. "Come in come in!"

It really has. Before Christian, I used to see my friends almost every day. I need to make a priority to see them more, I realize that now.

"How's Elliot?" I ask once were all chilling out on Kate's lounge floor with blankets and junk food.

"Great," she smiles widely. "We updated our relationship status the other week!"

I congratulate her, knowing how much of a big deal for Kate this is.

"And you Jose?" I ask through a mouthful of ice cream.

"We broke up," he says grimly. "So I'm eating my feelings as a condolence."

"I'm sorry," I say sympathetically, reaching over to squeeze his hand. I know how hard Jose finds relationships. I assure him the right guy will come along soon enough.

"So, how was Australia? How's things with Christian after the whole Emma thing?" Kate asks.

"Australia was amazing, we all had the best time. You need to come next time. As for Emma, we haven't heard about her for a while. She's off the grid and isn't allowed to see Charlie at the moment. it's up to Christian to decide when and if she can see him but either way, she doesn't really seem to care."

"I don't trust her," Jose states.

"Neither do I," I shrug, "but what else can we do? We got full custody, she can't have him. We can't keep waiting for her to pop up in the shadows. We have to live our own lives now."

Kate nods in agreement and we talk about her and Elliot a little more for a while. After a few hours, I'm burning to tell my besties my secret and I just can't wait any longer.

"So, I have something to tell you but do _not_ tell anyone yet. Not a soul," I say, making them pinky promise.

Jose perks up at the idea of gossip.

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out, unable to contain the smile breaking out from my face.

"SHUT UP!" Kate yells.

"You're kidding!" Jose squeals.

I shake my head. "No, I'm like _actually_ pregnant. The baby is due in July."

They practically dive at me and I'm so overwhelmed by their reaction, I unexpectedly tear up.

"Congratulations Ana," Kate says, pulling back and wiping her own tears.

"Aww you're crying," I state.

Looking at Jose, he's crying too and I now laugh because we're all emotional messes.

"It's amazing," he defends himself.

"A _baby_. We're going to have a baby," Kate says. I chuckle because it's true. When baby Grey gets here, they'll never leave my side.

"Who would have thought virgin Ana would be pregnant first?" Jose winks.

"Shut up," I dig him.

"When are you going to tell everyone?" Kate asks, leaning back and taking me all in. She glances at my belly, checking for a bump.

"Well, Christian and I want to host a New Year's party because we were away for the holidays so we're going to have it just a little later. I thought that would probably be the best atmosphere."

"Yes totally," Kate gushes. "Oh Ana this is so exciting. I'm so happy for you."

I grab each of their hands in mine and squeeze. They are truly the best friends in the world.

* * *

I have a great couple of days with Kate and Jose but by the time Taylor picks me up, I'm dying to see Christian and Charlie. He's waiting for me at the penthouse with open arms and I hug him as if I've been gone for a year.

"I missed you," he breathes, cradling my face and bending down for a kiss. "Did you have a nice time?"

"I did," I confirm. "I missed you too." I press my lips harder against his and his hands settle on my hips.

"Is Charlie home yet?" I ask, peeking around him.

"Not yet," he chuckles. "He'll be here in a couple of hours."

"So we have time to…"

But I don't get to finish because I'm already in his arms and heading to the bedroom.

A few nights later, Christian and I host our New Year's party and I'm equally thrilled as well as terrified to announce our news. I want everyone to be as thrilled as Kate and Jose however I know that's probably a long shot.

We decided to tell Charlie first and I look back in fondness at this morning as we told him I was pregnant.

" _Charlie come in here," Christian calls him._

 _We sit close on the couch, hand in hand as he comes into the room holding a toy car._

" _Hi," I say to him. "Come sit here, we've got some really exciting news to tell you."_

 _He sits between both of us, looking slightly confused and slight bored. His puzzled expression makes me laugh._

" _Well, you know that Ana and I are together, now don't you?" Christian asks him. "Just like me and your mom were."_

" _Yes," Charlie nods._

" _Well, Ana and I love each other very much and so we've decided to have a baby."_

" _You're going to be a big brother," I smile._

 _He still looks confused._

" _The baby's here," I say, placing his hand on my belly. "Soon, they'll be born and you'll have a new brother or sister to play with."_

" _The baby is in here?" He says, peering at my belly._

" _Yeah," Christian says, "are you excited?"_

 _He nods with a big smile but then looks back at me._

" _Does that mean you're my mommy now too Ana?" He asks in confusion._

 _I'm thrown for a moment but Christian answers me. "Well, you already have your mommy Charlie," Christian says. "But yes, Ana's going to also be your mom so you'll have two. Isn't that cool?"_

" _Yeah," he says, still obviously a little confused by the whole ordeal._

 _I pull him toward me for a cuddle. Bless his little heart._

" _You know I love you so much right?" I say into his hair._

" _Yeah," he mumbles against me. Christian chuckles._

 _When he pulls back, he looks into my eyes with a big smile._

" _I'm glad you're my mommy now," he says happily._

 _I tear up once again. "So am I honey," I assure him. "So am I."_

As I add the finishing touches to outfit, Christian appears behind me and runs his hands across my belly and hips as I stand in front of the mirror.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He murmurs, tilting my neck to the side and sucking at my pulse point. "Look at yourself," he insists.

I look in the mirror at his request. I'm dressed in a white lacy bodycon dress that hugs all my curves in the right ways. It goes amazingly with my tan I have from our vacation and I must admit, I do look very pretty. My nails are perfectly manicured; my hair is shiny and luscious. Christian regularly sees to all these treatments and I must admit, I truly am grateful.

"Christian, everyone will be coming any minute now," I sigh as his hands come down a little further, brushing across my thigh.

"I want _you_ coming any minute now," he murmurs, sucking at my skin again.

I can't help it. My hormones are like wildfire for Christian right now, I want him all the time and he _lives_ for it. The slightest touch gets me hot and before I have time to protest, his hand slips up the front of my dress and drags my panties to the side. I lean back against him with a gasp as he lazily draws circles over my folds. He bites my neck softly and I groan as he pushes two fingers inside me promptly.

"Christian, they'll be here in- but I'm cut off as he curves them upwards inside me, brushing slightly against my g spot.

 _Fuck_

A few moments later, I indeed come. Right in front of the mirror I watch as he pleasures me and honestly, it's hot as hell. He withdraws his fingers and brings them to his lips which makes my eyes darken with lust. I turn around to face him and grab him, kiss those pretty lips hard.

"I want you," I breathe. And at that moment the fucking door knocks and I've never been so frustrated in my life.

"You did that on purpose," I glare.

He smirks. "We'll have to sneak away during the party," he says suggestively and I jab him in the chest, holding him to that promise.

After fixing my dress and calming down for a few seconds, I head over to the penthouse door to let the first guests in who are of course, Kate and Jose.

"You look spectacular," Kate says to me with a hug. She's dressed in blue and Jose is in a very out there yellow get up.

They both greet Christian and Kate marvels at the penthouse. We had some people in earlier to decorate and it's covered with lights and food and drinks machines. Champagne, mocktails, you name it and it makes it.

"This is so incredible," Jose says.

"Where's Charlie?" Kate asks.

At the mention of his name, Charlie appears out of nowhere. He's dressed in the cutest green suit I picked out today and looks adorable.

"Hi," Kate says to him with a wide smile. "How have you been?"

Whilst they chat, the door knocks again and this time its Christian's family. Grace, Carrick, Mia and Elliot all pile in with several different people I've never seen before in my life.

"Ana you look gorgeous," Mia says with a hug. "Here, let me introduce you to everyone. This is Aunt Tilda and Uncle Joe," she gestures to a tall stern faced looking man who smiles down at me and a bubbly short middle aged woman. "These are our cousins, Pete, Jack and Holly."

The cousins are all young and blonde and look extremely similar. They all appear nice enough and I invite them in with a smile. They head off to mingle with everyone once my parents arrive, I start to feel a little sick. Things are strained; we haven't spoken for a while and it's obvious that things are awkward. I get a glass of water, desperate to calm my nerves and Christian comes over to me. He kisses my hair softly.

"We're fine," he promises. "This is _good_ news honey."

"I know," I say turning to face him.

I take a deep breath. Just considering his eyes calms me down. He's always such a comfort to me. I pull him down for a kiss and whisper how much I love him.

We get into the swing of things shortly after that. I watch Christian as he bonds with his family and has a few too many drinks. Jose is in a corner, laughing and getting tipsy with Jack and I'm with Kate of course. She's been sipping wine and eyeing Elliot all evening.

"Trouble in paradise?" I ask, gesturing to him.

She shrugs. "He's not paying me much attention."

I laugh. "Neither is Christian," I assure her. "Anytime they get together, it's what they're like."

"Well it's annoying," she says dramatically.

I roll my eyes and then I turn my head as I hear the door open once again. In walks a bald man in a suit and a glamorous middle aged blonde lady. I assume they're more of Christian's relatives so I turn back to Kate.

"When are you going to announce the news?" She asks nosily.

I glance over at my parents. They're in the lounge talking with Grace, god knows what about. I decide Kate's right and it is probably time. I get up swiftly and head over to Christian, wrenching him away from Elliot and Pete.

"I think we should tell everyone now," I say.

He smiles and kisses me. "If you want."

"You taste like beer," I complain.

He chuckles and suddenly bangs the side of his glass with his watch and I tense both in anticipation and giddiness. Everyone quietens down and he wraps an arm around me, pulling me tight. I feel myself flush all over as dozens of eyes lock on us.

"So, Ana and I have an announcement to make," he says confidently.

His voice just eludes authority and power and I look up at him in awe. He is _everything_ I could ever want and more.

"We're pregnant!" he finally says. Well, more like shouts and the room erupts in applause.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I'm engulfed in a tight hug by Mia first.

"Congratulations," she says with tears in her eyes.

Grace is by me next and she pulls me forward into a tight embrace. I see tears swimming behind her eyes and I'm startled.

"I'm sorry for whatever impression you first had of me Ana," she says, pulling back. "I see how happy you make my son and grandson and that is truly all I care about. I'm so happy to be welcoming another precious baby to our family."

An enormous weight feels lifted off me and I smile widely, thanking her. Christian grins down at me and squeezes my waist again. My own parents come over next and my dad pulls me forward.

"I'm sorry," he says, kissing my head. "I've been stupid and silly. You know I love you, right?"

I nod, feeling the corners of my eyes tear up.

"We're so happy for you," my mother chimes in. Her eyes are practically a swimming pool and when we breakaway I turn to Christian.

"Everyone is happy for us," I murmur. I just can't wipe the smile off my face.

"So they should be," he says, kissing me lightly on the forehead.

I'm broken out of my blissful moment by the middle aged blonde woman and tall man making their way toward us. I watch as Christian freezes and I look at him in worry.

"Christian, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Oh Elena, so glad you made it," Grace smiles, reaching forward to embrace her friend.

 _Elena._

 _The pedo._

 _The rapist that defiled by beloved precious Christian…_

"She's here?" I ask him.

I look at her truly now. I notice the aging lines hidden by thick foundation. I see her hair, curled to perfection yet damaged with years from bleaching. She's sophisticated and poised, waltzing around _my_ house with absolutely no shame or consideration. My smile fades and I have a sudden urge to throw the glass of water I'm holding right into her stupid smug face.

"Elena what are you doing here?" Christian finally says. His tone is cold.

"Christian don't be rude," Grace chastises. "She's my friend, I invited her of course. Come along Elena, let me introduce you to Tilda."

She disappears with Grace and the man and I turn toward Christian, raging with fury.

"I had no idea," he promises. "I told my parents they could invite family and friends but I never imagined they'd invite her."

"Why not?" I ask. "She's your mothers friend."

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Don't be sorry," I say angrily. "Just get rid of her."

"I can't Ana, it would just cause a huge scene. This is a celebration."

"Fine, I'll get rid of her," I say with finality.

He tries to stop me but I walk over to her. Grace has left her side now and she's drinking a martini by herself, examining the ice sculpture.

She watches me as I walk over and gives me a small smile.

"Congratulations on your pregnancy," she says quietly. "I hope you've both made the right decision."

"Get out of my house," I say bitterly.

She looks at me affronted and goes to speak but I cut her off.

"I said get out. Nobody wants you here, especially Christian and I. I want you to leave and never contact Christian again."

She puts her drink down and stares at me frostily. "And just what are you going to do if I refuse? You can't be what he needs Anastasia, we both know that."

I'm about to reply but Christian is by my side, an arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

"You heard her," he says to Elena. "Get out now."

"Your mother invited me," she says briskly.

"Well, this is _our_ house. Consider yourself uninvited," he says coldly. "I had a talk with you last time but it appears you haven't quite got the message. I could end you Elena. Right here, right now I could expose you."

"But you wouldn't," she bites.

"Oh but I would. I have everything I need right here," he pulls me closely for emphasis and I smile. "You on the other hand have everything to lose. You no longer scare me or intimidate me. You have absolutely no hold on me so I suggest you either get the fuck out or I'll have the police drag you out on multiple rape charges with a minor."

She looks absolutely horrified; inside I'm so proud of him for finally standing up to her. It's clear to see she was always trying to call his bluff. It's clear she thought Christian still harbored feelings for her and would never expose her. She's finally gotten a taste of her own medicine and it tastes super sweet.

"I never want to see you again," he says as she picks up her bag. "And if you contact my mother again, I'll tell her what you did to me. You can be sure she _will_ have you arrested."

"We're done here," I say pointedly to her. "Now get out."

She gives me one last humiliated glare before storming out. When she's gone, I look up at Christian.

"I'm proud of you for truly seeing what she is," I say to him.

"It's all because of you," he says gently, lowering his lips to mine.

I kiss him back with everything I have, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. He's passionate and conveys his love for me through the way his mouth moves against mine. I'm not aware that voices have gone quiet until we hear a around of applause that breaks us apart. Everybody is clapping and I immediately flush all over. Christian just laughs and kisses me again.

* * *

Super long chapter for me. Please review and let me know your thoughts! Not long left of this story guys xx


	27. Chapter 27

It's a few days after the party and announcement now; things have died down but the excitement of my pregnancy remains the same. I'm lounging on the couch reading this afternoon when I receive an unexpected phone call from Grace. I'm hesitant to answer but I know it may be something important.

"Hello?" I answer, a little nervously on the third ring.

"Anastasia? That's you, isn't it?"

"Yes," I clarify. I sit up a little straighter to gather my thoughts.

"If you haven't already eaten, I was wondering if you'd like to go out to lunch with me," she says kindly.

"Today?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes."

"Oh..." I hop off the couch, straightening my shirt quickly. This is completely unexpected.

"Will you?" She presses. "I know that my son is at work and Charlie is at school so how about I pick you up? Say one thirty?"

I check the clock now. It's one which means I'll have half an hour to get ready.

"Okay, sure," I reply hastily.

As soon as we hang up, I'm a flurry of nerves as I dart toward my closet. What on Earth should I wear? Where are we even going? She didn't say, however knowing Christian and his family, I expect it shall be somewhere upmarket. After throwing out heaps of dresses onto the floor, I finally settle on a mid-length ribbed navy blue number, paired with a nude pea coat and a gorgeous pair of nude Louboutin's Christian got me last week. Brushing my hair into submission and applying some quick mascara and lip-gloss, I'm passable. At the last moment, I look outside to see that although sunny, the weather also casts a rather frosty chill so I pop on a scarf.

Grace is here in less than half an hour and knocks on the door promptly. Taylor let's her in and I'm relieved to see that she's also in a dress: a deep plum colored number with pearls and high heels. She kisses my cheeks in greeting.

"You look lovely, are you ready to go?" She asks.

"Yes, thank you," I answer nervously.

I'm not one hundred percent sure what Grace wants with me today but I have a few ideas which are mainly to do with the baby news and my intentions when it comes to her beloved son.

Grace's driver is parked outside and he drives us to an elaborate looking glitzy restaurant just outside of town that serves steak. The driver opens the door for us both as we arrive and Grace leads the way into the glamorous building.

"Reservation for Grey," she smiles politely at the waitress.

As I look around, I notice a few other diners wearing fancy clothes and breathe a sigh of relief I decided to go with the dress.

"Right this way ma'am," she responds, and leads us to a private little booth with a dazzling chandelier hung above our heads.

As I get settled in and remove my coat, I watch as Grace's eyes travel down swiftly toward my belly. I'm not sure showing yet, but I do feel a little constrained around the tummy area in this tight dress. Perhaps she notices.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Our waitress, Becky asks.

"Yes please," Grace answers, glancing briefly down at the drinks menu. "Could I please have a glass of champagne and for you Ana?"

She looks at me and I quickly look over my own menu.

"Uh, I'll have the sparkling strawberry lemonade please."

She gathers up the menus with a smile before heading off. "Right away."

We're quiet for a few moments while she's gone. It's uncomfortable and I'm wishing desperately that Christian was here. I'm grateful when Becky returns swiftly with the drinks; having the icy glass in hand helps to put up a barrier. After choosing our food; steak tenderloin and chargrilled asparagus for Grace, mushroom ravioli for myself, Grace takes a long sip of her drink before leaning forward slightly.

"You're probably wondering why on Earth I've asked you out for lunch," she acknowledges.

"A little," I admit, taking a sip of my own drink. It's super refreshing.

"I think that being as you're about to be my daughter in law, and the mother of my grandchild, I should make a conscious effort to get to know you Anastasia," she says simply.

I'm a little surprised to say the least. After preparing for the worst, this matter of fact news comes as a shock.

"I think that would be a good idea," I finally say.

She nods in agreement. "How is everything going with your pregnancy?" She asks. I can hear the genuine concern in her voice which immediately makes me feel more at ease.

"I feel fine now," I say honestly. "I have another midwife appointment in a few weeks. I've genuinely been feeling okay, just a little more tired than usual."

"That's expected," she agrees. "You should try and take it easy. I trust my son is looking after you well?"

I nod and take another sip of my drink.

"Good. You're so young, I know sometimes Christian may not see that."

I don't quite know how to reply to that.

"How do you mean?" I finally settle on.

"Emma was older than him," she explains. "Christian has always dated women slightly older until you. You're only nineteen years old, I just don't want him treating you like he treated them sometimes."

"He doesn't," I assure her. It's nice to see her motherly concern coming through for me. "He's very patient and understanding. He really is very loving toward me."

She raises a brow and I flush at my double meaning. "I didn't mean, well-" I cut off and to my surprise, she elicits a small chuckle.

"That's great Ana," she smiles. "I'm glad he's good to you."

Soon after, our food comes and it truly is delicious. I'm starving, so I order a strawberry sorbet for dessert which is equally amazing. Grace gets the check later and we get back into the car to drive home.

"Have you moved in officially now?" She asks.

"A lot of my things are still at home but yes," I admit. "Especially since the baby news. I just, I love him and I want to be with him always."

She smiles kindly then. "He's a great man and an even greater father."

"He's wonderful," I agree.

"He told me the other day he's been house hunting?"

"Yeah," I nod with a laugh. "He's so fussy though! Like so fussy. Everything's got a fault, even if it's the doorknob."

She laughs too and shakes her head. "He's a perfectionist. Always has and always will be. When he was young, whenever we'd go shopping, he'd carefully pick which one of the items wed get, even though they were all the same. He insisted there were slight differences, even down to the toothpaste box."

I giggle. That's the Christian I know.

We pull up to the penthouse now and Grace pulls me in for a hug goodbye.

"Take care," she says gently. "Hope to see you soon Ana."

"You too."

Once I'm back in the penthouse, I can't stop smiling. I feel like a milestone has been crossed today, even though it was something so small. Right now, I just want to see Christian and tell him about it. Deciding to pay him a visit, I ask Taylor to drop me to his office. I've been here only a handful of times and the large glossy building with my boyfriend's name plastered over it still intimidates me slightly.

"Does he know you're coming?" Taylor asks, opening my door upon arrival.

"No, I want it to be a surprise," I smile.

"Shall I wait in the car?" He asks.

"I'm pretty sure Christian will take me home, you're free to leave."

He smiles widely and bids me goodbye.

Stepping inside, I hear my heels clicking against the tiles. The blonde receptionist glances up as I approach the desk. She's on the phone and so I wait for a moment.

"Anastasia Steele," I finally say when she hangs up. "I want to see Mr. Grey."

"Do you have an appointment Anastasia?" She asks, quickly looking down and flicking through files.

"No, I'm his girlfriend."

She peers at me closely then.

"He's in a meeting at the moment," she says curtly. "You can wait outside his office though, I'll get someone to show you up."

Another blonde woman then comes over to me and leads me to the elevator that takes us to Christian's office. I don't think I've ever been this far into the building before and I'm a little tense. Everyone here is so professional and stern. Do they never have any fun?

"This is his office," the girl smiles. "He should be finished any minute, and then you can go in."

I nod and take a seat. I'm sat there for ten minutes, getting super bored when finally, a small group of people exit his office. There's a mixture of professional looking men and women; a few of which glance down at me in passing. When the room finally stops exiting and the door swings shut, I knock three times.

"What now?" I hear Christian's disgruntled voice, expecting more business men.

I grin as I swing open the door. When he looks up from his desk, I watch as his eyes turn from tired and annoyed to happy and loving. He makes a beeline for me immediately and I nearly knock over a few things in my hurry toward him. Without talking, he pulls me flush against him, cradling my face in his hands as he bends to kiss me furiously. We kiss until we can't breathe and then he pulls me back to his chair and onto his lap.

"Hi," I whisper.

His fingers are unbuttoning my coat already and he pushes it off, leaving it to fall to the floor.

"I'm so happy to see you," he says, considering my eyes and brushing my hair behind my ear.

I smile and give him a little kiss. "I went to see Grace today," I tell him. "She invited me out for lunch."

"Really?" He asks, a little warily. "How was it?"

"It was good, she wanted to know how I was doing. She was really nice," I admit.

"I'm so glad," he smiles honestly. "I want you to be friends."

I kiss him in response and he's just as enthusiastic. Ruining my fingers through his hair, I realize I'd like much more of Christian right now."

"It's sucks we're in your office," I complain quietly.

"Nobody's allowed in unless I say they may," he whispers, kissing just underneath my ear.

"Christian you're so naughty," I say quietly.

He responds by capturing my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking softly and running his fingers along the inside of my thighs between the fabric of my dress. I gasp when he rubs me through my underwear.

"You're the naughty one," he murmurs, sliding my panties to the side and rubbing my clit softly.

I kiss him to stop myself from crying out loud.

Swiftly, he unbuckles his belt and frees his cock from the constrains of his boxers. He's heard of course and brushes up my dress until it gathers at my waist. Still kissing me, he tears my panties until they're scraps of lace on the floor.

"Christian, I liked those," I complain.

"I'll get you a hundred more."

I'm about to reply but suddenly he's inside of me, filling me completely. My eyes close of their own accord and I lean a forward with a soft cry. My hands close around his neck as I kiss him heatedly while he moves our bodies together at a very fast pace.

Our sex doesn't last very long today, he comes inside me within minutes and I follow shortly afterward with a little help from his expertly crafted fingers. As we finish and our breathing slows, I look at him with haughty eyes.

"That was hot," I say as I bite my lip.

He fixes my dress and positions himself back inside his trousers with a smirk.

"I'm here to please my lovely woman," he responds with a raised eyebrow. "Got to attend to all her needs and such."

"I'm very wet and I have no panties," I whisper, fidgeting against him.

He laughs and reaches in his desk for some tissues.

"Thanks," I flush.

"Not sure what to do about the panty issue," he says apologetically.

I lean forward to kiss him gently. "I love you so much," I murmur.

"You have no idea." He cradles my head against him and I snuggle into his neck while he comforts me.

"Tired?" He asks.

I nod.

I watch as he looks at his watch. It's almost four.

"What time does Charlie finish football?" I ask.

"Five, so we'll leave in about half an hour. I'll just finish up some work here for a bit."

"Shall I move?" I say quietly. I feel so tired right now, I could easily fall asleep.

"No, you're fine," he kisses the top of my head.

I end up falling asleep for the duration and Christian wakes me gently. I slide off his lap dreamily and fix myself before putting my coat back on.

"You're so sweet," he comments, looking at me lovingly.

"Shh," I mumble.

He pulls me in for a hug, resting his hand gently on my belly.

I look up at him with so much love in my eyes. Christian doesn't often get sentimental about much so when he does things like this, it makes my heart melt. He kisses my forehead before gathering his things and making our way down.

As expected, I feel many pairs of eyes on me as we walk hand in hand through the building. Naturally however, I feel amazing. I'm definitely the cat that has got the cream.

When we pick Charlie up, he's extremely happy to see us.

"How was football?" I ask. He's just started once a week after school and seems to enjoy it.

"Great," he says happily. "I'm hungry now though."

"So am I," Christian laughs.

"Me three," I join in, reclining back in my seat.

"I made a new friend in football," Charlie tells me as Christian starts to drive.

"Really? Tell me about them."

"She's called Kiera, she's got Rapunzel hair."

I look over at Christian with a smirk. It appears little Charlie Grey has found his first crush.

"Does she?" I say enthusiastically. "That's amazing, Rapunzel has the best hair."

"She does," he agrees.

"Is she nice?"

"She's _really_ nice," he confirms. "Can she come over to play?"

"I don't see why not," I tell him.

Christian chuckles. "We'll have to speak to her parents first."

"I want to show her all my stuff, I miss the swimming pool daddy."

"I know," Christian responds. "We'll have one very soon though I promise."

"Will we?" I ask.

He nods. "I've found something I think I like."

Finally.

* * *

Our evening is quiet. We have dinner, Charlie plays in his room and Christian finishes up some work in his office while I have a bubble bath and read. After Charlie is in bed, I find Christian in the lounge on the phone.

"Yes. Goodbye," he says, hanging up abruptly.

I approach him and sit down on his lap slowly.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He looks drained. "It was Emma."

I bristle at the mention of her name.

"It's okay, I think. She's back from seeing her family and she wants to see Charlie so she asked for me to meet her for lunch tomorrow to discuss visitations."

I feel cold inside but there's nothing I can do about it. I've known all the while it was wishful thinking that she'd just disappear and leave us alone. However, she's his mother and I can never take that away from her.

"This sucks," I say miserably.

"I know," he agrees.

"Do you have to go out with her alone?" I ask.

"It would be for the best," he says with a grimace.

 _He doesn't want me to come._

I know I'm probably overreacting but I can't help but feel a little out of place and annoyed. I know they have a child together but she ran me over. I tell Christian this and he sighs.

"I know Ana, and I'll never _ever_ forgive her."

"You don't have to let her see Charlie," I say then. "You have full custody."

"I'm doing what I believe is best for Charlie," he responds. "If it were up to me, I would never see her again but she's his mother."

I get up off his lap then, feeling my anger starting to surface. "And I'm the mother of your child _also_ ," I say facing him and resting my hand on my belly. "The mother she almost killed in a fit of rage as she tried to kidnap your other child and take him away from you. She was prepared for Charlie to never see _you_ again, why do you care about her seeing him?"

"Two wrongs never make a right," he says, standing up.

I glower up at him.

"Charlie doesn't want to see her," I tell him. "Can't you see what she's doing? She's trying to cause a rift between us again. Who does she think she is, inviting you out to lunch? I can't believe you're even considering going! Are you out of your mind? _I'm_ your pregnant girlfriend Christian, not her. I don't want you to go."

He holds his hands up in annoyance and defeat. "Okay Ana," he says with a nod. "I won't go. That's that, I'm not going so you can calm down now."

I drop my stance, tears brimming in my eyes. He walks over to me now and pulls me against his chest where I cry freely now, staining his t-shirt. Damn stupid hormones.

"I'm sorry," he says, stroking my hair. "I wasn't thinking clearly; I was just thinking about Charlie."

"I know," I whisper. "I just…hate her."

He lifts my face up and wipes away the tears.

"Don't cry. I love you and _only_ you. You know, that, right?"

I nod.

"I'm not going," he says, kissing my hair. "She can fuck off."

I laugh through my tears at his blunt words.

"Come on," he sweeps me up in his arms making me giggle with surprise. "I've got a few ways to make it up to you."

We walk toward our bedroom where he sets me down and undresses me slowly, peeling off each layer piece by piece.

"I never want to do anything to hurt you," he says, kissing me softly on the lips.

His kisses caress my body with adoration, all the way down, leaving me satisfied and reassured by his admission.

I can only hope he does not prove me wrong.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for your patience and understanding, new chapters coming very soon! Please leave a review telling me your thoughts xxx**


	28. Chapter 28

I wake early this morning. So early that Christian's still asleep, which is a rarity. A wave of nausea hits me and I flop back down with a groan. Christian's eyes open in response and I immediately feel his hand on my belly.

"You okay?" He asks with a hoarse voice.

"I'm okay," I assure him. "Just feel a bit sick."

He props himself up on his elbow, looking down at me and rubbing my belly in soothing motions.

"Do you need anything?"

I shake my head and close my eyes.

"Try and go back to sleep," he says quietly, leaning down to kiss me softly on the cheek. "I'm here."

I hold his hand that is placed over my stomach and entwine my fingers with his. He's so warm and comforting. The last thing I hear is Christian whispering that he loves me before I fall back to sleep.

I wake up again several hours later feeling much better. Christian is still next to me however he's working on his laptop.

"Hi," I whisper.

He looks down at me and closes his laptop.

"How you feeling?" He asks, bringing a water bottle to my lips.

I take a long sip and sit up. "Better than earlier."

He leans in to kiss my lips gently. "Good."

"What's the time?" I ask sleepily. "Why aren't you at work?"

"It's about 10am. I'm going to go in later, I wanted to make sure that you were okay before I went."

I smile at him and mean in for a kiss. "You're the sweetest. I'm okay now."

He gives me a smile and sits up a little further.

"I have something to tell you that you're not going to like," he then says warily.

I could tell something wasn't quite right from the way his mannerisms are. I sit a little higher and brace myself. I have a good feeling that I know exactly what he's going to say and that all revolves around Emma.

"You're going to see her?" I guess.

"Yes, but not like you think. I'm going with my lawyer, Morrison and she's coming with hers. We're going to meet at Morrison's office so no eating or lunch items will be involved."

I nod but choose not to say anything. Deep down, I know it's not my place. Charlie is her son and I'm just going to have to get used to it. However, that certainly does not mean I should like it or play nicely. She certainly didn't play nicely when she tried to run me over.

"Why isn't she in jail?" I respond with. "Why did she receive no punishment for what she did to me? Why is she still swanning around demanding lunch meetings?"

"She did receive punishment Ana," Christian says. "She can no longer practice law here and her driver's license was revoked. Also, she has no custody over Charlie. She avoided jail time as part of a plea deal. They looked favourably on her."

"Of course they did," I say angrily. "She probably offered to blow them in return for the favour."

"Probably," he laughs humourlessly.

We're quiet for a few moments until I speak again.

"Will you allow her visitation?" I finally ask.

"It depends," he shrugs.

"On what?"

"Her intentions. Whether she's genuine or not," he explains. "Also, I'm going to ask Charlie whether he wants to see her or not. He should have an input."

"And how will this work?" I demand. "Will she come over to see him?"

"I doubt that," he disagrees. "No, it would probably be at a public place with a lawyer present. The park or something like that."

"Lovely."

"Stop if Ana," Christian sighs, now getting out of bed. "This isn't my fault."

"I didn't say it was your fault!" I insist. "The whole situation is just crappy."

"It's no walk in the park for me either," he insists.

I stay quiet. I'm too angry right now to keep talking and I don't want to say anything I may regret. I can't stand Emma, she's doing her very best to ruin our lives.

"Come on," Christian says now, offering his hand. "You need some food."

"My appetite has gone," I confess. "When are you seeing her?"

"Around lunch."

I nod.

After a few seconds, I accept his hand and he pulls me out of bed gently. In front of him, a wash of guilt comes over me and I reach up to stroke the side of his face.

"I am angry and annoyed, but not with you Christian. It's with her. I don't want you to think I'm mad at you, I know this isn't your fault. I know you hate this too."

"I do," he nods, staring into my eyes. "I could think of a thousand better things to do rather than sit with that wicked witch but it's just one of those things I have to do. For Charlie."

"I understand," I say, reaching up to kiss him. "I truly do."

I can only just hope that Charlie doesn't want to see Emma.

* * *

Christian leaves for work shortly after and I'm left to mope around all day feeling sorry for myself. After not moving from my bedroom for hours, Gail comes in with a cup of English breakfast tea and a mars bar. I can't help but smile at her.

"Here you go," she says, perching quietly on the end of the bed. "As my mother used to say, there's nothing that can't be solved by a chat, a good cup of tea, and some chocolate."

"Thank you," I say gratefully as I take them from her.

The first bite of chocolate tastes so good it makes my eyes close. I hear Gail chuckle.

"Now, tell me what's got you tangled up in bed all day," she says after I finish.

"Christian's going to see Emma," I sigh, taking a sip of my tea.

She nods. "I can see why that would make you anxious. But just remember dear, Christian loves you and only you. He was never once as happy with Emma as he is with you. I was with them since they got together so I know all about their relationship. They share a mutual child together, nothing more. You have nothing to worry about Anastasia."

I offer her a small smile and she squeezes my hand gently before standing. "Get some rest," she says gently. "And please, don't stress."

After she leaves the room I finish my tea and chocolate before deciding to FaceTime Kate. I rant to her for over half an hour explaining the entire situation as she sits stuffing her face with chips. After I've finished, she looks at me pointedly.

"Ana," she says in her no-nonsense voice. The one I hate. "You can't give Emma so much control. Do not let her get the satisfaction of watching you worry, it's what she wants and you know that."

"But I am worried!" I exclaim. "She's trying to come between us. What if she wants Christian back?"

"Even if she does, it doesn't matter," Kate says, shaking her head. "You and Christian are together now and he loves you."

"I just want her to go away," I grumble.

"You knew what you were getting into," Kate says then, surprising me with her tone. "You couldn't possibly have expected it to be all smooth sailing. Emma was never going to just disappear quietly Ana. You had an affair with a married man while babysitting their son. It was always going to be a mess and now, you just have to suck it up and act like an adult. You're about to be a mother. You can't let people like Emma have so much control over your happiness."

The harsh words leave me feeling surprised, and also a little stung. I know exactly what she says is true but to hear it, especially from my best friend, is a different story. I'm quiet for a few moments until she sighs.

"Look, Ana, you know I'm always on your side. I love you like my sister and I'm just telling you the truth because you need to hear it. Emma's a bitch and the best thing you can do is ignore her and get on with your own life. Please, stop worrying about her."

"I know," I say quietly, staring into my lap. "It's just harder said than done you know?"

She nods. "I know, it's not going to be easy but I'm here for you. Jose and I forever and ever. How about we go shopping?" She suggests, smiling again now.

"I don't think- "

She cuts me off. "I'll be there right away so get dressed! Love you bye!"

She hangs up and I shake my head.

Looks like I'm going shopping.

* * *

Half an hour later, I find myself in a baby boutique store as Kate gushes over bundles of pink stuff.

"We might have a boy you know," I say to her pointedly.

"Yeah but you also might have a girl," she insists.

I roll my eyes. I don't care either way, a healthy baby is all that matters to me.

The independent boutique is lovely with the most beautiful clothes. It's also probably the most expensive place I've ever been to and can't help but question why on earth a newborn needs $75 socks.

"Christian's gave you a card, right?" Kate asks, picking up more things to add to the pile.

"Yes," I say awkwardly. "But I haven't used it."

Christian gave me a card last month when it became apparent I wasn't moving back in with my parents and I no longer had a job. He insisted and that was that.

"Perfect opportunity!" Kate smiles.

"I can't justify the price tag," I say, fingering a tag on one of the dresses Kate has. $145 just seems obscene.

"Christian is a billionaire," she says pointedly. "I don't think you realize exactly what that means."

I glare at her. "Yes, you're right," I say. " _Christian_ is a billionaire. _Christian_ , not _Ana_. I have no right to go about spending all his money."

"You could never spend all of it," she says with a heavy sarcastic eye roll. "And last time I checked, you were his pregnant girlfriend carrying his baby and becoming a step mother to his son. I think that entitles you to his money. You're being ridiculous."

"You're getting on my last nerve today," I warn her. "I'm already in a bad mood."

"Well I hoped this would snap you out of it!" She says dramatically. "What mother to be doesn't like looking at baby clothes?"

I turn away from her with a huff. I'm feeling sick, tired, irritated and most of all, pissed off. To avoid any further confrontation with Kate, I storm out of the shop and head back to the car. I hear her heels clacking behind me once I'm almost there.

"Really?" She shouts. "Quit acting like a kid Ana."

"Don't tell me what to do," I snap. "Stop telling me how to live my life, what to buy my baby, how much of Christian's money I should spend."

"I wasn't telling you to do anything," she says, stopping in front of me. "I was just pointing out a few things."

"I don't need you to point out anything! All you ever do is try and control every single situation but guess what Kate? I don't need you policing my life anymore. I can make my own decisions and they have absolutely nothing to do with you."

She takes a deep breath and I briefly see a flash of hurt in her eyes.

"I'm going to assume this is your hormones talking," she finally says after composing herself. "You're pregnant, you hate Emma, you're angry. I get it. I probably shouldn't have bought you shopping."

"Look," I sigh but she cuts me off.

"Let's just get back," she motions to the car. "I think we've had enough for one day."

I agree.

* * *

The car ride back is quiet and Kate drops me back before leaving. I'm in an even worse mood now than before I left and I just want to scream at something. Instead, I opt for a bath.

In the luxurious tub, I pour copious amounts of expensive bath salts, oils and foams before melting into there in a puff of steamy warmness. It calms me instantly and I take the opportunity to talk to baby Grey.

"Hi," I whisper, peeking down and resting my hand on my belly. It's no longer completely flat, there's a little swell and to see it makes me extremely happy.

"It's mommy," I say, stroking it underneath the bubbles. "I haven't been in a very good mood today," I sigh. "Talking to you helps though."

For a moment, I feel a little mad talking out loud but it feels nice to let some of my emotions out with no judgement.

"The Emma situation has been getting me down a lot lately," I admit. "I know it's irrational and I really need to grow up but I can't help but be jealous that Christian still keeps in contact with her."

I sigh as my body slips further into the water. Although it's terribly frustrating to have these silly feelings, admittedly it feels good to let them out. What I'm jealous of, I'm not exactly sure and Kate is right. I went into this with my eyes wide open and fully aware of the consequences of my actions. However, Christian and Charlie were worth every single second and they still are.

"We'll just have to get through this, won't we?" I mumble to baby Grey, sitting up a little.

"No matter what happens though, mommy loves you more than anything," I whisper. "Nothing will ever come between us. I promise with all my heart."

* * *

After my bath, I take a nap and it's around 7pm when I finally awake. Christian and Charlie's commotion coming through the door disturbs me and I get up quickly.

"Hi Ana," Charlie greets me. His cheeks are flushed and happy.

"Go ahead and take your coat and things off before dinner," Christian says to him. "It's already getting late."

As he runs off, Christian now turns to me.

"How you feeling sleepyhead?" He asks.

"Okay," I say, crossing my arms. "You've been a long time. Charlie finishes school around four. Where have you been?"

"Am I on trial?" He asks, shrugging out of his jacket with a laugh.

"Of course not," I roll my eyes.

He walks away from me into the kitchen and I follow behind. I watch as he sits at the bar and takes a long swig of water. I have no idea how he manages to look so ridiculously hot after a super long day at work but he does. His shirt is undone, hair slightly messy. I can see his muscles flexing beneath the clothes as the Rolex gleams brightly under the lights on his wrist. I can't help but think it should be illegal to look this good.

"I met with Emma," he finally says, meeting my eyes.

 _As I thought._

I sit opposite him with a nod. "How did it go?"

"It was okay actually," he says, putting his glass down. "She wanted me to know that she hasn't been in her right frame of mind since we separated. She's actually on meds, which can explain the lenient sentence."

I wait.

"I genuinely believe she had a breakdown. She says she never intended to harm you, it was just a reflex."

"So what? You want me to be her best friend because she didn't _mean_ to kill me?" I laugh sarcastically.

"Did I say that?" He retorts. "Can you drop the attitude? I'm just telling you what happened."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry."

He sighs before continuing. "I met her at the office along with the lawyers and we agreed she'd see Charlie once a week for a few hours and perhaps increase that in the future. She misses him a lot and as I picked him up from school I asked if he wanted to see her. He did."

"Really?" I ask, cutting him off. "He wanted to see Emma?"

"She is his mother Ana," he says pointedly. "Charlie absolutely adores you of course but it's understandable he still feels some attachment to her."

I nod. I know that's true, even if it stings a little.

"So I thought I'd take him to see her today. We went to a bowling alley and for ice cream. He seemed to have a great time and she was very attentive. She genuinely seems to miss him."

"And then you came back," I say.

He picks back up his glass. "And then we came back."

I try very hard not to picture them all running around the bowling alley as a _family_. I knew they were going to have to keep contact but how much is _too_ much? Flashes of her car coming toward me keep playing across my mind and the word _betrayal_ will not seem to go away. How can he just pretend it never happened? How can he even speak to her?

I watch him as he waits for my reaction. To be honest, I'm not sure of it myself. My hand automatically moves itself to my belly and I instantly feel calmer at the presence of my baby.

I must be strong for my child.

Right now, I feel as though I'm at breaking point. I love Christian with all my heart but am I strong enough to handle this? Having Emma in my life is a constant bad reminder of the accident and I'm not sure if I can do it. She could have _killed_ my baby and to me, that means she'll always pose a threat to us. I'm in a make or break situation all alone. I've bought it on myself and now, I have to make the right decision.

* * *

 **What should Ana do? Is she going to leave or stay? Please leave a review, I love to hear your thoughts xxx**


	29. Chapter 29

I wake up with nausea but I try my best to ignore it. Today is important. Today is important because I've finally decided to leave. As usual, Christian is at work, Charlie is at school and that means I won't be interrupted which is important. This is something I need to do for myself and my own wellbeing.

A stack of suitcases lay in the closet and I choose a plain one which I pack with my belongings. Most of my things are still at home and so I really don't have much. A few new things I've bought over the weeks, my gifts and some clothes is all I have and so the suitcase fits everything perfectly. I dress in jeans and a sweater with my coat before buzzing for Taylor to assist me. He appears from his quarters in moments, dressed in his suit and looking at me curiously.

"I need you to drop me home," I say to him. "I would drive myself but my car isn't here."

I watch as his eyes dart to my suitcase and then back to my own.

"You're leaving?" He asks.

I nod. "I'm going home to my parents. Can you drop me?"

"Of course, but, have you told Christian about this?"

I feel myself bristle but I force myself to remain calm. "I'm a grown adult. I do not answer to Christian, or you for that matter. I want to go home and if you won't drop me than I shall walk."

"No," he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, of course. Right away miss Steele."

I hold my head high as I stride past him and out of the penthouse.

The car drive is silent and awkward. I know he wants to ask me questions but it's not his place. I wonder how long it will take him to inform Christian of my departure after I'm out of the car. As we drive, the seriousness of my decision dawns on me. However, I know it's the right one. With Emma, around, I fear for my safety and I'll do anything to protect my unborn child. It seems as if I'm the only one that truly acknowledges the truth of Emma running me over and I couldn't give a shit what meds she was on. She could have harmed the baby I didn't even know I had and for that, I will never ever forgive her. As for Christian…

I shake my head, not knowing what to even think about us right now. The news of the baby should have bought us closer but I fear it has created distance. There's definitely a shift in the air between the two of us and to hear he was out bowling and laughing with Emma instead of being with me at home is truly devastating. Perhaps he thinks being with me was a mistake. Perhaps he regrets I'm pregnant. Whichever it is, something has changed and I won't put myself through the despair anymore. Emma was just the final straw, not the sole reason for me leaving. From now on though, it's not just about me. I have my child to think about and I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that they're loved and protected, from whatever may harm them.

When we reach my parents, Taylor opens my door for me and fetches my suitcase out of the trunk. My mother spies me coming up the path through the window and immediately runs out to greet me. I'm barely at the door before I'm bundled up in her arms. She's sobbing already which makes me tear up a little also.

"Ana, you're home," she whispers, holding me close.

The warmth of my mother is something that nobody could ever replace and I feel safe and loved in her embrace. Finally pulling back, she ushers me inside and into the living room.

"Sit down honey, let me make you some tea," she says, noticing my tears. She wipes them away with her thumbs and kisses my hair.

Melting into the couch, I kick off my boots and wrap the furry blanket around me. It's freezing and the familiarity of my home is overwhelming. This is exactly where I need to be right now and I'm so pleased with my decision to come. As my mother comes in, she places a steaming mug of tea in front of me on the coffee table and much to my surprise, a white bundle of fur starts to purr around my feet.

"A cat?" I whisper, peeking down. My eyes light up like a child and I pick up the furry little creature.

"A kitten," I confirm as I look into her little blue eyes. "Oh mom, she's lovely," I grin.

"Found her at a shelter all alone," she says, coming to sit down next to me. "I was job hunting and I just had to have her."

As the kitten curls into my lap, my mom holds my hand between hers.

"What happened?" she finally asks, addressing the elephant in the room.

I take a deep breath, a sip of my tea and tell her. I tell her everything from the impact the accident had on me, to Christian becoming distance, Emma coming back, and all the way up to yesterday. She never interrupts, she just listens to me and as I let it all out, I realise that's what I've been needing all along. Just someone to talk to. Someone to listen and not judge me or disagree. When I've finished, she gives my hand a squeeze.

"Seems like a lot has happened," she finally says.

I nod and stroke the kitten as it nuzzles in closer to me. "I don't know what to do mom," I say quietly.

"You have to do what you believe is best for you, and best for my grand-baby," she says, gently resting her hand on my belly. "And if that means spending some time apart from Christian then that's what you have to do."

I nod.

"You have all the time in the world to make your decisions," she then says. "You don't have to rush anything. You just follow your instincts and everything will work out in the end." She then pauses before continuing. "As for what I think, I believe that you need some space to clear your head and gather your thoughts. Being alone in that penthouse all day isn't good for anyone darling, especially when you're pregnant."

"I've felt so lonely," I confirm. "I know Christian has to work but I'm just by myself all the time. I'm not used to that."

"I know honey. You need more company and that's completely understandable. I think you need to be here for a while, let me take care of you."

I give her an appreciative smile.

"I'm sorry for how I've been toward you and dad," I say. "I pushed you away."

"It's okay, you're young. We all make mistakes," she winks.

I giggle a little.

"Now, as for that woman _Emma_ ," mom says seriously then, "I don't want her anywhere near you and mark my words she won't be. If Christian wants to keep contact with her than that's his own stupid decision but she isn't getting within an inch of my daughter. I'll be having words with him."

I grimace. My mom has a lot of fire when she's ready, especially when it comes to protecting me.

"In no way shape or form is it acceptable for him to be seeing her, in any capacity. Charlie should be having supervised visits without Christian. I get he doesn't want to harm his son but he made that choice when he divorced her and got with you."

I stroke the cat mindlessly, trying to picture my mom having a stand-off with Christian.

"Now, I want you to drink your tea and relax. I'll go and sort your room out, you just rest yourself and stop worrying okay."

"I'll try."

"I'm always here," she confirms. "Never forget that."

I snuggle down back into the couch with the kitten and close my eyes for a few seconds. The feeling of peacefulness immediately makes me sleep and I happily surrender.

* * *

I wake up in a daze to shouting and loud banging. I sit up with a start and the kitten leaps off me from the abruptness. The sky is a little darker but it isn't night yet. How long have I been asleep?

"Mom?" I call.

And then I hear Christian's voice coming from the hallway. I hurry there quickly to see my mother and him having a stand-off.

"Ana," Christian shouts as he spots me.

He's out of breath and frantic.

"She doesn't want to see you right now," my mom says angrily.

"Mom," I say gently, standing beside her. "It's okay."

She gives me a pained look. "Are you sure? You don't have to do this?"

"I'm sure," I nod.

She gives me a gentle hug before heading back in and now I'm face to face with Christian. I've bought the blanket with me and I wrap it around me a little more, shielding myself from the cold air rushing through the door.

"Ana," he breathes. "Come on. Come back home."

"I am home," I reply simply.

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and grabs hold of the door frame.

"I'm sorry about Emma," he says with a sigh. "I didn't think. I never fucking think but it didn't mean _anything_ Ana, you know that."

"I don't care, "I shrug. "I've given you so many free passes. Maybe it's time you started to think Christian, and not just about yourself or Charlie. I get how much you love him, I do too, but sometimes I think you forget about me. I know I'll always be second place, but to disregard me completely by getting together with your ex is just too much for me."

"You're not second best," he says seriously. "I'm still learning and I keep making mistakes I know that but please…" he pauses, gathering his thoughts. "I love you more than anything. I'll never see her again. I'll move country if I have to."

I wait as I watch him speak. He's all hurried and flushed and usually, I would cave but I just can't right now. I'm finding it hard to trust him at all.

"Actions speak louder than words," I finally murmur.

He looks deeply into my eyes before tearing them away again.

"What are you saying?" He finally asks. "I don't know what more I can do but apologise."

"That's just it," I whisper. "There's nothing you can do and right now, I need to just be alone for a while."

"You're breaking up with me?" He says quietly.

I can see how hard he's trying not to cry and its hard. It truly is but for once, I need to think about myself and what is best for me and my unborn child.

"Don't put words in my mouth," I sigh. "Look Christian, it's complicated. Emma is a part of your life because of Charlie and I get that. But I can't let her be a part of mine, _or_ my child's." I place my hand over my belly and his eyes glance down.

"It's my child too," he says seriously, bringing his steely gaze back to me. "I would never put you in harm's way Ana, you know that."

"But you do," I say adamantly. "By having Emma around you do. Christian, I don't think you realise the seriousness of the situation. She tried to _kill_ me. I could be dead and so could our baby and you just go bowling with her without a second thought."

Angry tears spring and I wipe them away fiercely. He goes to speak but I silence him. "No," I shout. "You don't get to speak. You went and met her, you had fucking ice cream with the woman who tried to kill us because of some bullshit medication excuse. I didn't want to give you an ultimatum but I will now. It's me or her."

"Ana, of course it's you," he pleads. "That's not even debatable."

"Actions Christian!" I shout again. "Fucking actions! You say shit but you never do it. Until you decide what's more important, I'm done. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you."

I edge back and hold the door. He's clearly in surprise and so am I. I guess a mother's instinct now overrides everything because I'll do anything to protect my child, even if it means giving up the man I love and adore.

"How do I tell Charlie you're gone?" He finally asks quietly.

"Since he loves his real mom so much, you can take him to Emma's," I respond bitterly. I know it's a low blow, that he's a child, but right now I don't care. I'm fired up and angry. "After all, you all had such a good time together last night. Maybe you can invite her over for a sleepover."

Tears fall from his face now. My response is to slam the door in his face and head back into the lounge, without a backward glance.

* * *

 **I know it's short but I wanted to get something out for your guys as I realised I left it on a pretty intense cliffy! New chapter very soon and if you're interested there will also be a CPOV over on the blog of the night with Emma/Charlie. Let me know if you would like that in the comments and as always, let me know your thoughts. Thank you so much for the endless support I appreciate you all so much – Elizabeth xx**


	30. Chapter 30

17th January 2017

I spend the next few days in hibernation. It's nice, having my mom take care of me; I hadn't realised how much I'd missed her. Of course, Christian has messaged but he needs to understand that I need to spend time alone. Over the weekend, I bond with the kitten and name her Snow White. She's my newest best friend after Kate decided to be a bitch. It's Sunday afternoon now and I'm in the lounge with my parents watching some lame TV show. Somehow, I find it comforting.

"Want anything to eat Ana? Ray?" My mom asks, sipping her green tea.

She's made sure to keep asking me if I need anything all weekend which has been sweet, albeit a little annoying. After I tell her I'm okay, I receive a text. I roll my eyes internally. _Of_ _course,_ it's Christian. He seems to not understand the words 'leave me alone.' With a glance, I read the short message.

 _I understand you don't want to talk to me right now, even if it kills me inside. However, Charlie's been asking where you are all weekend and this morning, he woke up crying for you. He rarely cries so it's a pretty big deal. Is it okay if he comes to see you this afternoon? I can get Taylor to drop him off. Please let me know. Once again, I'm so sorry. I love you. C xx_

The text makes me tear up unexpectedly. The fact that Charlie cried for me is heart-breaking, but I can't be guilt-tripped into going back to Christian for that sake. I quickly reply.

 _Of course he can come. Drop him anytime – A x_

I tell my parents that he's coming and my dad doesn't exactly look very happy.

"Is this bribery?" He asks, looking up from the TV. "Sending his kid to wear you down? Talk you into going back to him?"

I sigh. "Perhaps that is Christian's motivation but I genuinely believe that Charlie does want to see me and I'm not going to say no."

"What's he gonna do here?" Ray asks.

"I'll take him somewhere," I say, standing up now and stretching. "We can go swimming or something."

"I'm making my lasagne today," my mom says then with a smile. "He can come back for dinner."

With a nod, I make my way upstairs to get ready. As I brush my hair, I examine myself in the mirror. There's a fading love bite just behind my ear and I close my eyes as I remember the night Christian gave it to me. We used handcuffs that evening, the sensation was so much more intense due to the fact I couldn't move. His tongue tended to the love bite repeatedly to the brink of orgasm. I didn't even know that I could come from neck sucking but with Christian, it seemed that anything was possible. The attraction I feel towards him is borderline inhumane. Everything about his face, his body, his voice appeals to me and I can't help it. The past few days have been hard, especially due to my damn pregnancy hormones. I'm in sexual overdrive and I need satisfying desperately.

 _Damn it Ana,_ I chastise myself. This is not the time to be thinking about sex _or_ Christian so I hurry myself up, throw on jeans and a sweater and rush downstairs. I'm just in time to see Taylor approaching through the window view and Charlie walking ahead of him. He's in a red coat and hat due to the cold weather and my mother immediately darts to the door as they knock. She opens it with a beaming smile and Charlie's cheeks are a little flushed.

"You must be Charlie," she grins.

I bypass her and he wraps his arms around my waist. I give Taylor a nod and he retreats.

"Come in honey, it's cold," I say to Charlie as I take his hand.

Once we're inside, Carla pounces on him in a millisecond not even giving him a chance to breathe.

"Hi Charlie, I'm Carla, Ana's mommy but you can call me Aunty Carla." She then leads him into the living room and over to Ray. "This is uncle Ray."

"Hello Uncle Ray," he says with a wide smile. He's so damn cute it hurts and even my dad softens at the sound of his voice.

"Hi there Charlie," he says. "It's great to meet you."

"You're Ana's dad," he acknowledges.

"I am."

"Ready to go swimming?" I ask, before we start talking about dads. "Did you bring your stuff?"

His face lights up. "Yeah, daddy packed my swimming bag."

"Have fun kiddo," Ray says.

"We'll come back for dinner later," I assure Carla again as I put my coat on and grab my keys. "Don't worry."

I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and set off, hand in hand with my precious little boy.

We both have a great good time at the swimming pools. It reminds me of when I first started babysitting Charlie and we'd swim together at the old house all the time. There's a ton of slides and waterfalls here and so we're drowned rats and freezing cold by the time we get out. As I blow-dry his hair for him in the changing room, he relaxes back against me.

"Miss you Ana," he says quietly.

I feel my heart break a little bit. Leaning forward, I press a kiss against his soft hair.

"I miss you too honey."

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know," I tell him honestly. I hate to tell him this truth but it would be awful to lie to him. I hate to see the sadness in his eyes and I can only guess that he might see me as he sees Emma. Moms who keep disappearing.

"I'll never leave you though Charlie, you know that right?" I ask.

Turning him around I look into his eyes and brush his freshly shampooed hair back from his face.

"I want you to know that," I tell him seriously. "No matter what happens, I'm always going to be here for you. Okay?"

"Okay," he says, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"I promise, honey" I whisper, hugging him close. "I promise."

* * *

Carla's lasagne is the first scent that hits us as we walk through the front door. It transports me back to childhood instantly.

"Dinner's almost ready," my mom calls from the kitchen.

"You hungry?" I ask Charlie as I hang up his coat.

He nods.

"Good thing," Carla calls from the kitchen. "I think I made too much."

Charlie laughs and follows me into the kitchen where my mom has the table set. She's gone all out for our pint-sized visitor, there's even a centrepiece of wild flowers. As we sit down, she places the salad bowl down and Charlie pulls a slight face which makes me giggle.

"That's not dinner," I tell him.

A second later the lasagne is put on the table and Charlie visibly relaxes, relieved he no longer has to eat a giant bowl of veggies.

Dinner is nice. It feels good to have Charlie here with me; I've missed him a lot and I'm finding that I don't fancy giving him back quite yet. My mother asks him a hundred and one questions of course, from his favourite colour to what he wants to be when he grows up. My dad asks him what he thinks about his new baby brother or sister coming along.

"It's in Ana's belly," he says proudly, as if it's only him that knows the secret.

"Yeah it is," says Ray in a strained voice.

I know he's having a hard time getting use to the fact his little girl is pregnant and I understand that. What's important is that he's working on it and that is the most important thing to me.

"What are you hoping for?" Mom says, finishing off her last bite. "Do you want a girl or a boy?"

"A boy would be really cool because we could play," he responds.

"Yeah but you can play with a sister too," I remind him.

"I suppose," he sighs, which makes us all laugh out loud.

After dinner, we have cake. Store bought of course because while my mom may excel at the odd few dishes, she's definitely no baker. We're chilling in the living room watching a kid's movie when Christian calls. Charlie doesn't even notice, he's way too busy playing with Snow.

"Hey," I answer.

"Ana," he says warmly. I haven't heard his voice in a few days and I take a deep breath, bracing myself. "How was your day?"

"It was great," I tell him.

"Good, I'm glad. How's Charlie?"

"He's fine. He's fed and everything; he's busy playing with my mom's new cat.

He chuckles softly and I feel myself clench. His laughter is something I've sorely missed. After a few silent seconds he speaks again.

"Should I pick him up now? I don't want it to get too late as he's got school tomorrow."

"Sure," I sigh.

"Ana, honey, I miss…"

I cut him off because I don't want to hear him say those words. If I hear those words, I'll crumble and probably go running straight back into his arms which would do us both no favours. Christian has not learned his lesson, he lied to me and while Emma's still around, I can't be.

"I'll get him ready," I say quickly. "Goodbye."

I hang up and feel my heart split just a little bit more.

* * *

22nd January 2017

Days pass slowly. Although my heart yearns for Christian and Charlie, my mind feels more at peace than it has in a while. I feel calmer, safer...healthier. Having my mom around 24/7 can be grating but it's much better than been locked up all alone in the penthouse like Rapunzel. Christian hasn't messaged for a while and I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. My mom insists that it's a good thing. It will give us both time to reflect and learn to be apart.

To add to the gloomy atmosphere, the clouds have decided to cry their eyes out with a terrible rainstorm. I've been stuck inside for what feels like forever and I'm dying to go for a walk. To make matters worse, tomorrow I've been scheduled for a midwife appointment which in the chaos of things, I'd admittedly forgotten about. My mother offers to come with me but I can't help but feel upset. It should be Christian and I.

I've been away from him now for over a week and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him greatly. However, I must stick to my guns. I have to keep my baby safe from any harm and anywhere Emma is, trouble undoubtedly follows.

Last night, I Face Timed with Charlie. He wanted to see me again but with the weather being so awful, that was out of the cards. I did tell him that he could have a sleepover with me tomorrow night instead which he's extremely excited about. I miss seeing his little face every day and so I'm looking forward to it.

It's late afternoon now and still raining. My dad is at work and Carla is scrolling through websites looking for jobs.

"It's harder than I thought," she finally sighs, placing it down on the coffee table. "You don't realize how unqualified you are until the time comes when you have to stand on your own two feet."

I look at her sympathetically. "You're a great asset mom. Anyone would be lucky to hire you."

She gives me a small smile. "My daughter, forever the kindest angel."

"Are you back with dad officially now?" I ask.

I've asked her this several times before but she always seems to skate around the subject. My mom hasn't got the greatest track record when it comes to relationships so I can understand why.

"I don't want to be too optimistic," she says quietly. "We've both been through a lot."

"I think you should be together," I finally say. "He's so much happier with you here mom and so are you."

"You really think?" She asks with bright eyes.

I nod.

After a few moments, she asks me about Christian.

"He should go with you tomorrow Ana," she says softly. "I know you'll regret it if you don't let him."

I know she's right but I also know that if I see him again I'll come undone. I can't be that whimpering teenager anymore that shatters beneath him every-time he looks into my eyes. I need to be a strong independent woman now. A mother. A fighter.

"You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for," she says, as if reading my mind. "If you weren't, you wouldn't have left him. But loving someone doesn't mean you're weak Ana. Actually, it's one of the bravest things you can do."

I consider her words and I realize that she may just be right. And despite our differences and disagreements, I do love Christian, and I know I always will.

* * *

23rd January 2017

Today is appointment day and I've got an hour until I need to be at the hospital. As usual, I overslept and so I rush quickly to throw on an old sweater and yoga pants with a ponytail and fresh face. It takes a few seconds of being in my clothes however to realize that they're a tiny bit more snug than usual and I peek down. My bump has definitely made its little appearance and I feel warm and giddy all over. Feeling my boobs, I also notice that they have indeed gotten a lot rounder and fuller. It's no surprise they've been feeling sensitive more so than usual.

Carla makes me some toast before I get going and she insists that Christian will be at the hospital, even though I haven't called him or anything.

"What if he doesn't remember?" I ask as I head on over to the door to slip on my shoes.

"Of course he'll remember. It's your baby appointment Ana, there's nothing more important."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" I ask, feeling a tiny bit of doubt.

"No," she shakes her head. "He's going to be there because he loves you. He loves you and he loves his child."

"What if he's not?" I whisper.

She gives me a big hug in response and kisses my forehead. "He will. Now go."

The drive to the hospital is tense but at least it's stopped thunder-storming. It's still freezing and damp, but I can see where I'm going now. When I reach the car park, I can't help but scan the area to see if I see any of Christian's cars but I don't and I feel my heart sink. What if he truly doesn't show up? What if I've pushed him away for good?

I shake my head and make my way inside. At the reception, I tell them my name and as I look around the waiting room, I can see how busy it is.

"You should be seen in approximately forty-five minutes Miss Steele," the receptionist says in a clipped voice.

"My appointment is at ten," I tell her.

"As you can see, were quite busy this morning," she responds.

"Her appointment is at ten o clock I believe you heard her say," a voice behind me says. "It was made by myself, under the name Grey. I apologize, I was in a rush, it should have been in Anastasia's name."

The woman looks a little star-struck.

"Right away Mr Grey, apologies Miss Steele - head on in right away."

His voice is smooth and comforting. I'm too scared to turn around but he does it for me.

Today, he's wearing a sweater, coat and jeans and his hair is damp from the rain. In his hand, he's carrying the most gorgeous violet roses. Wordlessly, he takes my hand and pulls me forward toward the room. The heat from his touch sends little sparks through me and when he rubs over my knuckles with his fingers, I can't help but feel a little weak. _Damn it_.

"Miss Steele, Mr Grey," the midwife says as we walk in. "I'm so sorry about the commotion, please take a seat. Ana, if you'll pop up on here for me please."

Christian goes to sit down while I get onto the high thing and remove my coat before lying down.

"Apologies once again for the trouble," she says again. Her name tag says Becca. "We absolutely had you down for ten under the joint names of Steele and Grey. Sometimes our receptionists can be a little inefficient."

"No worries," Christian says.

"Okay Ana honey, we're just going to pop this up okay and this gel is going to feel quite cold."

As she makes work on my belly, Christian moves closer to me and reaches for my hand which I accept eagerly.

When she puts the wand over, we both glance up at the screen in awe. The last time, there was just a little shadow but now, there's a tiny little baby in there and I'm immediately in floods of tears.

"There we are," Becca smiles. "Oh wonderful. Baby's heartbeat is absolutely perfect and we can see they're growing just fine."

"Amazing," I hear Christian murmur.

"Were just over five months and so we can actually tell the baby's gender," Becca announces. "Would you like to know?"

Both our eyes lock together in excitement but Christian shakes his head.

"I'm planning a gender reveal party for us," he announces. "So, do you mind putting it in an envelope?"

"Certainly," Becca grins.

"What gender reveal party?" I ask Christian, confused.

"Well, it was a surprise," he says. "It's in a few weeks from now, that's if you're okay with that," he adds, looking down at the ground.

"I'm okay with that," I whisper.

The appointment is soon over and Becca prints out pictures for us which I can't wait to show everybody. She also hands Christian the envelope which I'm dying to open. We walk to the car park in silence and I'm surprised when he follows me to mine.

"Do you mind if I drive?" He asks, gesturing to the keys in my hand.

"Where's your car?" I ask.

"Taylor dropped me."

"Oh, um, okay. Sure," I finally settle on.

Getting in the passenger seat, he hands me the roses and inside, I see a little note containing two words.

I'm sorry.

I place them at my side, wiping my eyes a little as I feel Christian's gaze on me.

"Will you let me take you somewhere?" He asks softly. "It won't be long I promise. I just want to show you something."

His eyes are earnest and I consider them for a long moment. Finally, I relent and lean back, as I let him drive me to wherever.

The journey is long. It's almost an hour before we reach the destination and it's been a very quiet journey. We drive through lush greenery and sparkling sideways; the beautiful areas of Seattle. None of us have spoken much. When Christian decides to finally slow down, it's in front of an enormous wrought gate which he enters a number in to so that it opens. We then drive down a long gateway until we finally reach a cobbled path where Christian parks.

I'm speechless as I stare at the enormous house in front of me. It's white and pristine, like something out of a Disney movie. There's construction works going on all over but it's still perfect. Christian breaks me out of my trance as he opens my door and holds out his hand.

"Come on," he insists, pulling me gently.

Once I'm outside, he caresses my back and presses his lips to my hair.

"Welcome home Ana," he murmurs.

* * *

 **A/N Hi guys, just wanted to say a massive thank you for all of you who read CPOV on the blog last week and commented! For all those that did, I'm going to send an exclusive outtake of Emma's POV after meeting with Charlie! This is so exciting, as I've never wrote another POV before apart from Ana of Christian. For those of you that don't follow the blog, please do! There's lots of full length CPOV chapters over there that you can't get here and also sneak peaks of upcoming chapters. Also, there's Eyes Closed stuff too! (which will be updated VERY soon) Hope to see you there x**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review and tell me your thoughts! Also, what do you think is going to happen next when Christian takes Ana on a tour? I love to hear your thoughts! Love, Elizabeth xx**


	31. Chapter 31

23rd January 2017

Inside the house is even more beautiful than its surroundings. It's messy, there's a few workmen in there doing jobs but I can see that the outlines are perfection. There's a reception area that's all smooth Italian wood and winding staircases that lead to beautiful bedrooms and bathrooms.

"There's two bedrooms and two offices on this floor," Christian tells me. "We can both have an office each and this," he opens a beautiful heavy door and I gasp. "Is the master bedroom."

"It's beautiful," I whisper.

The bed is pride and centre, a king size with a fairytale headboard. The carpet is plush cream and covered in wrapping for the moment. Taking a step into the walk-in closet, I realise it's bigger than my whole room at home.

"This is all for you," Christian says, standing behind me.

"I'm speechless," I finally say.

He chuckles and pulls me forward, showing me the en-suite bathroom. Everything is marble and gold with matching his and her sinks and the most glorious bath tub.

"I had this shipped from Rome for you," he tells me proudly.

Turning around to face him, I look up at him in disbelief.

"This is...I don't know what to say," I breathe. "I'm overwhelmed."

"We're far away from everyone," he tells me. "The gate requires a security code and soon I'll get voice activation. You'll be completely safe here."

"You did this for me?"

"I did this for us," he confirms.

"It's amazing," I say, walking back into the bedroom.

There's no bedding on yet but the mattress looks so inviting that I just have to lie down.

"What kind of bed is this?" I ask him. "Oh my god, this is the comfiest thing in the world."

Christian joins and flops down next to me.

"It's a very expensive one," he laughs. "You need to be as comfortable as possible. You're carrying our baby."

The way he says our makes me feel a surge of love wash over us. He's right. It's our baby and despite whatever happens, that is one thing which will always remain.

I'm surprised suddenly when I feel my sweater being lifted until I feel Christian's warm lips pressed just above my belly button. The sight makes me want to cry.

"I love you so much little one," he whispers there. "And I love your mommy too. More than anything. I promise that I'll always protect you. With me, you'll always be safe."

He then looks up at me. We both have tears in our eyes.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "For everything. For being such an idiot, putting you in harm's way, taking you for granted. You're the most precious thing in my life and to know I almost lost you kills me inside every single day. Since the accident, I haven't been myself. I've put the world at a distance because I've been so scared to let myself feel too much, to be so in love with you because when you were hurt I realized how easy it would be to lose you."

My tears are freely falling now; I have to keep wiping them away.

"But I can't do that anymore. I love you Anastasia Steele. I love you so so much and I would give up everything I own just to spend one day with you next to me. So, this is your haven. You're safe here, with me, with Charlie. Emma will be seeing Charlie once a week for a few hours, supervised by Taylor. I have no contact with her, you will never have to see her again."

"Thank you," I finally whisper.

"So, are you going to live here with me?" He asks, almost nervously.

I decide to bait him. "I'll have to think about it," I finally say and his eyes narrow playfully.

"Pour my heart out to you for you to think about it?" He grins, kissing his way up my body.

He tickles my sides and I burst out laughing, squirming away from him.

"Okay, okay," I relent.

"Didn't hear you," he insists, never ceasing."

"I'll move in with you!" I shout and he relaxes, pulling me flush against him.

His eyes are so pretty as they stare into mine and without permission his hand unclasps my ponytail so that my hair pools around us. His fingers run through it a couple of times before tracing my bottom lip. Phase one has begun of me being turned on and it doesn't take much for him to achieve that. He knows this and smirks slightly.

I raise my hands in the air immediately and he slowly peels my sweater off. My bra is plain and not very fancy but my breasts are spilling out of it.

"Think I need a size up," I murmur, biting my lip.

He eyeballs them appreciatively as they move up and down, rising in time with my breaths.

"I think you do," he agrees, looking back up at me again.

We stare at each other for what seems like forever but it's a few seconds. And then the spell is broken and we attack.

Our kisses are wet and fiery but that's okay because they match our hands that paw at one another with an almost inhuman speed. I rip his jumper off; he does the same with my bra. While his lips are on my rosy pink nipples, his hands are on my yoga pants, yanking them down fiercely. Once I'm naked, I flip him over and pull off his jeans as I watch his eyes devour my body. One hand grips my thigh and kneads and the other explores my ass.

"Fuck," he mutters. "Ana, you're gorgeous."

Knowing he's referring to my weight gain, I smile appreciatively, happy he finds it sexy.

"I want you on my face," he growls and pulls me forward unexpectedly.

His lips waste no time in connecting with my centre and I sigh, placing my hands against the headboard for support as I grind on his mouth. He eats me out like he's starving, bringing his fingers up to join the party also. I orgasm quickly and when he slides me down his face, my eyes widen at just how wet I am. The evidence is all over him and I flush. Christian however, is in his absolute element and I don't think I've ever seen him quite this horny. It's electrifying and so I kiss him, tasting myself on his tongue and knot my fingers into his hair pulling hard. His hands grip my hips, firmly yet carefully as our tongues play a game of tennis and I whimper into his mouth repeatedly, grinding myself onto his rock-hard length.

"I want to try something," he whispers. "You'll enjoy it baby I promise."

At this point, I'd be willing to do anything and so I nod eagerly, excited at whatever he's planning to do with me.

His fingers drag sexily down to my ass where he squeezes and cups over and over again before telling me to get on my knees. I oblige instantly though I do feel the loss of kissing him. He plays with me again and mutters a lot of profanities as he takes in all my glory and spreads me open. I feel so exposed but it's amazing.

Lips caress my cheeks before finding my centre again and I brace myself as I cry his name out. We haven't done this before and its so damn erotic. There's something animalistic about it that sets me wild. I feel him open me wider and wider and I'm shaking, unsure if I can stay steady. And then I feel his fingers somewhere else, somewhere foreign, pushing and pulling. It's so tight but it's so good.

"Christian," I whimper.

His thumb rubs my clit and his finger goes deeper until I think I might collapse. At this moment, he pulls me up so that my back is against his chest while he kisses my neck languidly. His finger still continues to move and I finally realise _just_ where it is.

"Does it feel good?" He asks slowly.

I nod, unable to speak.

"Touch yourself for me, you're close honey. Touch yourself."

My fingers find my entrance and they glide in effortlessly. I finger myself over and over again and Christian's free hand comes to join me, rubbing my clit reverently.

After that, I'm done for. I come with an earth-shattering cry and Christian coaxes every last drop from my body. His fingers are still wet as they dance tenderly across my belly and I breathe heavily as I descend back down from my incredible high. He kindly gives me a few moments to recover before turning me around in his lap and pushing himself inside of me with ease. His lips find my own and we kiss softly as he moves me up and down over his hardness, supporting me and holding me close. Christian's cock hits my g spot with each stroke as he pushes me to my absolute limit. My fingers scrape against his neck as my breasts sit flush against his chest, bouncing with each movement. His grunting loudly in my ear is euphoric and sets me off again. I urge him to go harder and he happily does just that until I feel him come heavily inside of me with a soft moan that could quite possibly summon the angels themselves.

* * *

I lay on his chest, breathless and sleepy as my hair spills around him. We're quiet, our hearts are the only things talking right now. Part of me feels like I gave in too soon but my body feels differently. Pregnancy hormones rush through me and what am I to do when the sexiest guy in the world confesses his love for me and pulls off my sweater? Sex is the answer. It was the only thing on my mind and I had to have it with the man I love the most.

"Ana," Christian says, breaking the silence.

"Hmm," I answer absentmindedly. My mind is too occupied with staring at his perfect skin.

"I want to take you to Paris."

This catches my attention and I lift my head slowly to look at him.

"Next weekend," he continues. "I want to take you. Just you and me, a week in Paris. What do you think?"

My eyes light up like a child's. "Really?"

He nods. "I want to take you away," he murmurs, stroking my hair behind my ear softly. "You deserve the world."

"Am I in a dream?" I whisper, contemplating it for a second. "First the house, now Paris..."

He chuckles gently. "I'm afraid not. You're stuck in the real world with me."

I grin at him and lean up to capture his lips between mine.

"Paris?" I ask again.

"Yeah. We can go to the louvre, Eiffel Tower, Disney land. Wherever you want. You can have whatever your heart desires."

"Mr Grey, you're not trying to buy my affection, are you?" I whisper.

"Maybe a little."

I bite his ear playfully before he pulls me in for another deep kiss.

"Is that a yes then?" He pushes.

I nod before asking about Charlie.

"He'll stay with his grandparents and Mia," he explains.

Looking into his eyes, I can see that they're remorseful but I know that we still have a long way to go that unfortunately can't be fixed by Paris and mind blowing sex.

Rolling off him, I start to redress and he sits up with me. Once we're done, I turn toward him.

"Christian, I still don't trust Emma," I say. "I just...I don't think she's sincere. I'm not sure she should be around Charlie."

"He won't be alone," he assures. "I'm sending Taylor."

"But what if this is just to get back to you?" I ask. "And the fact we're going away to Paris..."

"Ana, it doesn't matter what she's trying. She'll never ever have me and as for Paris, everything's going to be fine. Charlie will be at my parents' house with Elliot and Mia and I'll send security for precaution."

I push my hair back from my face with a sigh.

"Okay," I relent.

"Ana," his hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me forward onto his lap. "You're safe, Charlie is safe, we're all safe. Nothing or no-one is getting close to us."

He kisses just underneath my lips in earnest.

"You are my everything," he says gently. "I won't fail you again."

"It's not you I'm worried about."

"Shh," he presses his finger against my lips. "Emma's getting nowhere near you or me."

Abruptly standing, he pulls me with him and takes my hand. We walk up the stairs toward the third floor and down the hallway until we reach a door. Printed on there in gold doors reads 'Ana's wonderland," and I immediately go to open it. My shock is evident when I find it closed.

"Christian," I turn to look up at him pleading.

"You can't see it until it's finished," he smiles. "There's a lot more to be done."

"What's in there?" I run my fingers over the gold lettering, admiring its beauty.

"You're going to love it," he grins. "I'm trying to make all your dreams come true."

"Ana's wonderland," I murmur. "Sounds magical."

His arms wrap around my waist, placing both hands on my belly from behind. I lean back against his chest and he inhales my hair.

"So Paris?" He murmurs softly.

"Paris," I whisper.

* * *

 **Time for a bit of fluff I think, Hope you enjoyed :) Please comment telling me your thoughts! Love, Elizabeth x**


	32. Chapter 32

Upon arriving back home, my mother quizzes me endlessly about how everything went and whether Christian came.

"He was there," I say, shrugging out of my coat. "He um...took me on a drive to a new house which he's bought for us."

My mom's eyes widen just as much as mine did upon first entering.

"What?" She asks, even though I know she's heard.

"Yeah," I can't help but smile. "It's amazing."

"So you're moving back in with him?" I notice her expression of sadness as we both sit down and Snow runs towards my feet.

"Well, not yet," I say to her. "The house isn't completely finished."

"But when it is?"

With a sigh, I nod. "Probably mom," I say regretfully. "We're going to have a baby together and I need him. Also, there's Charlie to think about. Remember, I didn't break up with him per say. I just needed to be safe from Emma."

"You're safe here," she implores.

"I know," I assure her. "I am, but Christian's made sure it's safe for me there too. It's gated security and far out. She won't be able to get near."

She nods once and I can't help but feel regretful. I make my way over to her, enveloping us both in a big hug.

"You know you'll always have me right mom?" I whisper. "I'm not going anywhere; you can come and visit us all the time. I'll be here often too and besides; you have dad now."

I waggle my eyebrows as I pull back and she gets embarrassed.

"You're back together for good?" I ask, making sure she won't go running for the hills again.

She nods. "All these years, I've been looking for love everywhere I could, in all the wrong places. Failed relationships and marriages time and time again. I couldn't see that it was always meant to be Ray. I promise, I'm not leaving again Ana."

With a big smile, I hug her close again, so happy that she's finally decided to come home for good.

* * *

Everyone is extremely jealous upon hearing that Christian is taking me to Paris, especially Mia I've been told.

"She kept asking to come," Christian chuckles as we cruise along the highway toward the airport. It's early morning, Dawn is breaking and the sky is the most gorgeous shades of oranges and pinks. Taylor is driving us and I couldn't be more excited.

"I told her it was a lover's week and she wasn't welcome," he continues, pulling me in for a kiss.

"Is it?" I ask, playing coy.

"Of course. You should see the room were in and the things I've planned. I'm going all out."

"You always do."

He takes my hand and links our fingers together. Mine are so small in his own large ones yet they fit together like two missing puzzles.

"I like these," he comments absentmindedly, fingering one of my nails.

They're a pale pink; I went to have them done with Kate and Jose earlier this week.

"I got them so I could play with you," I whisper, reaching up to gently scrape them across his neck.

He laughs and winks wildly at me. "Well, I do intend for this weekend to be one of passion."

I return to him my own wink before snuggling into his side where his arm wraps around me tightly and before I know it, I'm been shaken awake gently.

"We're here honey," he murmurs into my hair.

I shift groggily. I've been so tired these days, the midwife told me to expect that as my pregnancy moves along further but I had no idea just how sleepy I'd be.

Christian chuckles at my reluctance. My eyes are still closed and I feel him stroke the side of my face with his fingertip.

"You can sleep on the plane," he tells me. "It's a long flight."

"How long?" I ask

"Like, ten hours I believe. We're arriving in London because I wanted to take you there first for the day. We're then catching another flight to Paris which is just a few hours."

"We're going to London?" I ask, waking up now.

"Yeah."

"Can we go on the London eye?"

"We can," he chuckles, clearly enjoying my enthusiasm.

"Harrods?"

"I'll buy you the store."

I narrow my eyes at him but we both end up laughing.

When we arrive at the airport, Christian's bodyguard Sawyer opens my door for me with a nod of his head.

"Are you coming with us?" I ask curiously. He's holding a suitcase in one hand.

"Yes ma'am."

"We'll be meeting another security guard when we land also," Christian says, lifting my own suitcases out of the trunk.

"Guess you can't be too careful," I mumble under my breath.

Nothing says romantic weekend away then including two big burly men following you everywhere.

"Everything will still be perfect Ana," he says, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Nothing is more important to me than your safety."

Christian holds my luggage for me as we make our way to the airport, one arm firmly placed on me at all times. I fit snuggly beside him, protected in his warm hold.

"Sawyer, please can you go and get Ana an English breakfast tea," Christian says as he guides me to a comfy looking seat.

"No problem," he replies, walking off quickly.

As we wait, I do a spot of people watching. Morning-goers at the airport are always super busy. Rushing toward terminals with overflowing coffee cups and clattering suitcases. I see a young couple; the man pulls all the suitcases and the woman has a baby nestled on her hip snuggly which instantly makes me smile. In a few months, that will be Christian and I with Charlie running ahead and I couldn't be happier about that.

Sawyer brings my tea over now and I thank him before we head over to the terminal, ready to board our flight all the way to London.

* * *

The plane journey is very long, made bearable by our luxurious quarters and Christian's company. We have a breakfast of eggs, bacon and bagels and I have a long nap before waking at around noon. Christian's busy tapping away on his computer and so I watch two long movies back to back before we finally arrive almost ten hours later. Due to the time difference, London is five hours ahead which brings us to almost 10pm upon landing. It's dark out and even colder than I'd anticipated.

At Gatwick airport, Sawyer is having a heated conversation on the phone while I sit with a crappy cup of coffee from a nearby vendor.

"What's happening?" I ask Christian, glancing around.

It's surprisingly still quite busy at this time of night and the airport is enormous and very shiny.

"Think there's a problem with the driver," he responds angrily. "He's running late for whatever reason."

Christian absolutely hates when anything goes wrong or people aren't respectful toward him. I'd hate to be the unfortunate driver on the receiving end of his temper tantrum. When Sawyer hangs up and comes over, Christian is fuming.

"How the fuck can you be running late at 10pm?" He growls to Sawyer.

"It's a Saturday night boss," he says calmly. "It's London. Everywhere's busy."

"I don't give a fuck. He should have left earlier. I'm Christian Grey, I don't hang around at airports waiting."

I can't help but roll my eyes a little. He's so dramatic at times. Maybe the British haven't got the full rundown of just exactly how impatient Christian Grey is but after tonight, they'll surely know."

Our driver arrives twenty minutes later and Christian doesn't utter a single word to him as he apologizes profusely repeatedly.

"Just get me to the hotel," he says abruptly.

When we pull up to The Dorchester hotel, I can't help but feel in awe. We're in the Belgravia Suite for the night and I can't actually believe I'm here in the nose exquisite parts of England. The staff here fawn all over Christian and I so much I can't help but feeling pampered. Once we get to out room, I flop onto the plush king size bed and marvel at the vintage decor. It looks like something straight out of a Jane Austen novel and I'm in love.

Finally, relaxed, Christian unbuttons his shirt, kicking his shoes off and coming over to join me.

"You hungry?" He asks, picking up a menu from the living room.

I nod. "I want dessert. Something chocolatey and messy and gooey."

He smiles and fifteen minutes later the door knocks. Delivered to me is a hot chocolate fudge brownie dripping in chocolate sauce, whipped cream and topped with chocolate and peanut butter ice cream.

"I think I've just died and gone to heaven," I say, staring down at the plate in my lap.

Crawling on the bed next to me, Christian lifts the spoon, gathering a bit of everything onto it.

"Open your mouth," he says smoothly.

I do as instructed and the sensations that fill my mouth almost blow my mind. Without a doubt, it's the best dessert I've ever tasted and together, Christian and I devour it.

When it's almost finished, I scoop some of the melted chocolate onto my fingers and stick them into Christian's mouth. His eyes darken a little and I take things further by smearing to down the front of my top where my cleavage is poking through.

"Oops. I'm a mess," I say lustily.

Discarding the messy plate, he lurches forward pinning my body to the bed and placing his lips on my skin.

It's much later now. Christian is taking his turn in the shower and I'm lounging in bed watching this British soap I've found that I'm really getting into. I've warm and cozy, dressed in one of Christian's oversized sweaters and fuzzy socks feeling lush.

I hear him getting out of the shower just as his phone buzzes and catches my attention. Looking over on his nightstand, I see that Taylor has messaged and so I take a quick glance, wondering if it's about Charlie.

 _Update is that Leila Williams is in town looking for you. She stopped by your office, said she knew you personally but Andrea told her you were out of town. She left her a message to give you saying she'd like to see you over coffee. Thoughts? – Taylor_

He comes in just as I've finished and I quickly lean back into bed as he towel dries his hair and grins sexily at me.

"You've got a message," I tell him. It feels like there's a lump in my throat but I have no idea why. For all I know, Leila could be a long-lost family relative but for some reason, that thought isn't quite sitting with me.

He comes beside me and looks down at his phone before shrugging it off like it's no big deal.

"You tired," he asks, crawling in next to me.

I shake my head no and turn to face him.

"You shouldn't ignore Taylor's message," I insist.

He gives me a funny look in response and I just decide to say it.

"What did we say about no more secrets?" I say, trying my best to keep my rising temperature at bay. "We said we weren't going to have any, in case you've forgotten about that."

He drops the towel and has the decency to look ashamed.

"Who's Leila Williams?" I ask furiously. "And don't you dare tell me it's no-one. It clearly is otherwise Taylor wouldn't be messaging you. I'm not having anymore secrets and lies Christian, I mean it."

"Ana, I don't want that either," he pleads, holding his hand in mine. "Actually, that's one of the reasons I bought you here."

"What reason?" I ask, confused.

"To come clean. I want to tell you absolutely everything about my life and I mean _everything_. You need to know about my life before you choose to spend the rest of yours with me and I want to share that with you Ana."

"Are you just saying that because I saw the message?" I ask skeptically.

"No!" He promises. "Hold on."

I watch as he reaches for his phone and opens his 'notes folder.' An entry a few days ago is equipped with a to-do-list during our Paris vacation.

 _Activities:_

 _-London for the day_

 _\- Harrods, Selfridges, Lunch in Covent garden, London Eye, Hyde Parke, Dinner, Dessert_

 _\- Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Shopping for baby & Ana etc…_

 _\- Disney Land etc…_

 _Personal:_

 _-Tell Ana everything about life (including past relationships) no more secrets._

 _-Buy Disney merch for Charlie & baby_

 _-Send Mia gender reveal prep_

I stop reading now, so as not to spoil the rest of the surprises he has on there. My anger melts away as I climb into his lap and rest my fingers softly against his hair.

"Sorry," I whisper, kissing underneath his jaw. "I should have believed you."

"I've given you every reason not to in the past," he replies, kissing my forehead.

I kiss his lips gently and his arms hold my waist tightly before he lets me down and gets off the bed to start pacing.

"I'm going to tell you now," he announces with a nod, reassuring himself. "It's better to get this all out the way before we start our vacation properly."

I hug a pillow to my chest, suddenly feeling nervous. I don't really know what he's going to tell me and the apprehension is scary.

He takes a deep breath before looking me in the eye. "We'll start with Leila Williams…"

* * *

 **Duh duh duh. Don't hate me. Update really soon (in a couple of days!) let me know your thoughts as always, I love reading your comments. Love, Elizabeth xx**


	33. Chapter 33

"I met Leila a few years before I met Emma. I was 21, just starting out with my business and Elena found her for me. Her husband was starting to get suspicious about her affair and we decided it was best to stop. She found Leila at one of the sex shows she attended and thought she'd make the perfect sub for me. After she introduced us, I decided I wanted her. She was a natural."

He notices my uncomfortableness at his words and hangs his head a little. Hearing the man you love speak about his past intimate relationships with other women is never very pleasing.

"I won't go into any details but she was what I needed at the time. Before she decided she wanted more that is."

"More than sex?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah. She started telling me that she's caught feelings. She wanted to sleep in the same bed as me, go on dates, have a real relationship but there was no way in hell that was going to happen."

"Why?" I wonder.

"I was a completely different person back then Ana," he explains. "BDSM is all I knew and all I cared about. I didn't want a girlfriend or dates or any of that shit. I wanted kinky sex on my terms with a woman who did exactly as I said."

I absorb this and nod. "So what happened?" I ask, not sure if I really want to know.

He starts pacing again before continuing. "I ended the contract. She wasn't adhering to it by begging for more and so I let her go. A month later though, she showed up claiming that she was pregnant with my child."

My mouth opens wide and my heart starts beating rapidly. It's pounding in my chest; I feel like I can't breathe.

"Ana, it wasn't mine," he says, coming over to me at once.

He takes my hand in his and his words immediately make my heart rate slow somewhat.

"She used it to get me back but I wanted DNA tests immediately. It turns out it was some other guy's but she miscarriaged a few weeks later."

I'm quiet. I'm not sure I want to know anymore, for some reason I feel a little overwhelmed.

"After that, she disappeared for a while but when I started dating Emma she resurfaced. She stalked her for a while, it got to the point we had to get a restraining order because she was threatening."

"She threatened Emma?"

"Yeah," he nods.

"So basically you're trying to tell me that a crazy dangerous girl that's obsessed with you is back in town."

"It's nothing to worry about Ana," he says, grabbing my hand. "Nobody can get within in an inch of you."

"Why is everyone out to get me?" I say with a whisper, suddenly exhausted with everything.

Tears fall steadily down my cheeks and Christian gathers me in his arms immediately.

"I'm so sorry Ana," he says softly, kissing my hair and holding me tightly against him. "It's not you, it's me. They can't stand to see me happy and in love but I'm going to get rid of them all I promise. My lawyers will be on it pronto but in the meantime, you're completely safe."

He lifts my face up, resting it between the palms of his hands and wipes my tears with his thumbs.

"I'd die before I let anyone hurt you," he says confidently. "You are my life."

"I just want us to be together as a family," I say. "With nobody trying to tear us as apart."

"We are family," he insists. "You are my family. Nobody's going to tear us apart okay? No matter how hard they try. I need you to believe me."

"You're a coveted man," I say, an attempt at creating an essence of humor even through my tears."

I stroke my finger down the side of his beautiful face, brushing delicately across the two-day old stubble.

"I won't pretend to not understand why everyone wants you. You're so beautiful-" I trail off, still captured by his beauty.

Even though it hurts, I knew what I signed up for when I got involved with a married man and a very dramatic past. I solely made that decision and feel as though I'll be reaping those consequences forever.

He shakes his head with a slight smile. "You're beautiful in a way I'll never be. Both inside and out. I may have a pretty exterior but that's where it ends."

I frown at him and sit up higher on his lap. "Don't say that, it's not true. I know you like to pretend you don't have a heart Christian Grey but I see it and feel it every single day."

I place my hand in the middle of his chest and he looks down at it.

"I know it's cheesy but what I think we have is rare. That one in a million, against all odds type of thing."

He chuckles and rests his forehead against mine.

"As long as you tell me everything, as long as there's no more secrets, we can overcome anything," I say fervently. "Once I already know the truth from you, nothing Emma or Leila can say will affect me."

"I know," he nods. "Which is why I needed to tell you and why I promise to tell you everything from now on. I want you to know every part of me Ana, good or bad."

I take his face in my hands and kiss him. "And I'll love them all equally," I whisper.

I kiss him again, harder, pushing him back down onto the bed as I do so.

* * *

I wake at 7am to neck kisses from Christian and I smile sleepily as he covers me with love.

"I'm taking you for breakfast before we start the day," he whispers. "You hungry?"

My belly rumbles at the mention of food and he chuckles.

His kisses leave my neck, regaining touch again at my bump.

"Hi," he whispers into my belly button. "You're growing big. I'm excited to meet you."

"I'm dying to know what we're having," I say longingly.

"You'll know soon."

We ended up taking the envelope that revealed the gender home where Christian banished it away somewhere in his office.

"Do you know already?" I ask. "I bet you've peeked."

He was supposed to wait until after Paris but I just know he hasn't. His response is a chuckle and I shove him on his back where I straddle him. I'm wearing just his t-shirt with no underwear; my center is in direct contact with his cock and he gasps a little at the sudden intimacy.

"Tell me," I challenge.

He shakes his head. "You have to wait until the party."

I shift against him and he closes his eyes with a groan.

"Don't torture me," he pleads, playing the victim. "I'm planning you the most amazing party."

I decide to take pity on him and lean down, kissing his lips as he slips inside my waiting body effortlessly. We both sigh at the feeling and I open for him, letting his length fill me completely. It's a feeling I don't think I'll ever tire of.

* * *

Breakfast is amazing. After dressing in a cozy pair of jeans and an oversized cashmere sweater and fluffy coat, we head to convent garden where I have eggs Benedict and two cups of the best tea I've ever drank. Christian has a full English breakfast which I also help myself to a little. Next, our bodyguards drive us around all the hotspots where I get to capture tons of pictures of the Big Ben, Buckingham palace, Hyde park and the Thames. Stopping for lunch at Harrods's, we share a pizza and salad before shopping around. The store is enormous and everything is just so damn expensive but Christian insists I pick whatever my heart desires. For himself, he picks out a Balmain sweater he insists he needs for Paris and a Stella McCartney underwear set consisting of a lacy barely there thong and a black push-up bra. I raise my brows as he adds them to his cart and he shrugs.

"You said you needed a new bra size remember?"

I laugh and take his hand as we head over to the baby isle. Desperately trying to guess the gender I finger and hold up the girliest things and ask him whether I should get this. He just eye rolls me.

"If you want to," he says nonchalantly.

Instead, he decided to purchase me a black Givenchy baby changing bag he says I'll need.

"Look, it's got all the necessary compartments," he says, trying to justify the outrageous price tag. "And it's sleek enough to go with all your outfits."

I decide to let him have his fun and so we shop through Harrods with minimal complaining. For myself, I get my parents and, friends, Charlie and baby Grey each souvenir tokens I'll think they'll enjoy. For my baby, I decide on the most gorgeous large Harrods souvenir teddy bear that will look absolutely perfect in the nursery. For my dad, I get a Harrods engraved watch and my mother an umbrella. Kate, a handbag and Jose a coffee cup. At last for Charlie I buy a miniature English bus and London eye figurine collectible set.

"You're the sweetest," Christian says, as I place it in the cart. "He'll love those."

Placing an affectionate kiss against my temple, I watch as two young girls around my age walk past and swoon at the gesture.

"That's the kind of relationship I want," one says to her friend and I flush while Christian of course chuckles.

When we finally exit Harrods, I'm dying to go onto the London eye and that's exactly what we do. We ride slowly and I don't sit down once. Christian holds my waist as I stare out of the window, constantly kissing my hair and neck and rubbing my bump.

"You're so affectionate today," I say, turning in his arms.

He responds by kissing my lips. "I love you," he says simply. "I want you to know that. I love being with you, talking to you, going out with you." He kisses the side of my ear and my eyes flutter closed. "laughing with you, exploring the world with you, arguing with you, making love to you... everything about you is perfect to me."

He's been so romantic and starry eyed on this trip that it's making myself swoon. Christian is typically quite reserved in his emotions and so it's a lovely experience.

"Told you this was a lover's week," he says. "I've borrowed all my lines from the greats, including Shakespeare. Feel free to stop me from being cheesy anytime."

"Never," I giggle.

After a dinner of steak in a hibachi restaurant and chocolate exploding lava cake, I'm officially exhausted. I fall asleep on the drive back to the hotel and wake up again to Christian placing me softly onto the bed.

"You carried me?" I murmur.

He nods while removing my shoes and jeans. I lay still, watching him sleepily as he does so. After he's finished he strips down himself and climbs in next to me, gathering me into his arms where I nestle myself into the crook of his neck.

"I had the best day today," I whisper.

He plays with the bottom strands of my hair. "Me too."

His heartbeat moves in time with my own and I drift off to sleep once more to the comforting sounds of his gentle breaths.

* * *

By noon the next day we're checking into our next hotel in Paris. To my delightful surprise, Christian has chosen a more quaint place to stay with a balcony that's filled with winter flowers and overlooks the cobbled streets and cozy cafes of Paris. Our bedroom boats Parisian artwork and each morning they bring fresh coffee to us.

The first day is spent at the Louvre museum and exploring all the little side street shops where I gather lots more souvenirs and pictures. We stay up so late we end up missing all the good restaurants and order Chinese back at our hotel.

On the second day, we go to Disney Land. Between touring Cinderella's castle and eating lunch with Minnie Mouse, I have the most magical day. It's like an icy wintery wonderland and I never want to leave. We go on all the best rides and Christian buys me matching Minnie and Mickie mouse teddies from the Disney store shop. As evening draws in, we see the day off with a firework display alongside tinkerbell and Christian kisses me hard in the crowd as streams of starlight rain down on us.

* * *

The next morning, I sleep in and Christian goes out to fetch me hot chocolate and croissants to eat in bed. He also comes back with a package for me which I open one handedly while simultaneously devouring the croissants I've become obsessed with. Inside, I make out the deep blue silk fabric. The weight of the material is heavy and I put down my food, admiring the beauty of it.

"What's it for?" I ask, getting out of bed and pulling it free from the bag.

"Do you like it?" He asks.

"It's wonderful," I nod. And it is. It's a long dress with a gorgeous sweetheart neckline and drapes elegantly everywhere. "It's like a princess dress," I say admiringly, stroking it delicately.

Christian just smiles and produces another little box from his pocket. Inside, are deep blue sapphire earrings that complement the dress beautifully.

"Christian," I murmur.

He's in front of me now, replacing my diamond studs with the stunning sapphires.

"We're going somewhere special," he says. "It's for you to wear tonight."

I lean up toward him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. He holds my hips firmly between his palms and I stare into his eyes, a mixture of love and desire shimmering beneath them.

"Let's take a shower together," I suggest, taking his hand and pulling him toward the bathroom. "I want to say thank you."

Today is relaxing. We spend the morning lazily around the hotel and late afternoon we venture out to a tiny little restaurant for an abundance of French bread and cheese. Later, I start to get ready, all the while anticipating where Christian is taking me. I take my time curling my hair and putting on my makeup before finally putting on my dress. Of course, it fits like a glove and I'm in awe at how beautiful it makes me look. The fabric molds to all my curves in just the right way without clinging or straining and the neckline is gorgeous. A hint of cleavage is showing and it makes me feel so sophisticated and regal. Stepping into my heels, I exit the dressing room and watch as Christian's eyes roam over every inch of me. He's in a black suit looking like sex on legs and I've truly never seen a more handsome specimen.

"I'm speechless," he finally says, inching closer to me. "You look phenomenal."

"You're not so bad yourself," I tease.

He winks and helps me into my coat. Tonight, I'm in white faux fur feeling like I'm a member of the royal family.

Sawyer drives us to our destination which turns out to be a boat ride across the river seine at dusk.

The lengths Christian continues to go to truly does astound me and it's safe to say he's officially won me over. The boat is decent sized and it's just us, the bodyguards lingering at the back and the driver. It's covered in lights and littered with roses and I'm served sparkling juices as we cruise along, overlooking the beautiful Parisian city as twilight settles over the bustling days events.

Despite the time of the year, I'm not feeling the cold much but that's probably due to the heat system of the boat. I look up over the twinkling river as the sky casts over it vivid shimmering hues of pearly pink and sunset orange. The fading light plays on the top of the water, dancing in time with the gentle waves and following us as we head closer toward being in perfect view of the Eiffel Tower.

When Christian clears his throat, and catches my gaze I feel my heart start to beat heavily as he stands. I feel as though I know what's coming and my belly is tight with nerves and anticipation.

"You know I love you," he finally says. "I truly do Ana and I know I'm not perfect. I fuck up repeatedly and I say the wrong thing but the way I feel about you will never change. As soon as I saw you I wanted you and I knew it wasn't right but I didn't care. You're just the most beautiful thing in the world you know? You really are this little light that's just been switched on in my mostly dark world as corny as that sounds." He takes a deep breath. "I've never been very good with expressing myself as you know but I want to marry you Anastasia Steele. Will you be my wife?"

I'm shaking as he slips a ring onto my wedding finger. I wipe my eyes with my hand as tears ruin my mascara and laugh a little.

"God, I have to blubber like a baby," I curse.

He chuckles and pulls me up to him.

"Will you marry me?" He says again determinedly.

"Of course I will," I cry.

He then pulls me in for a kiss as the stars rain down on us, the promise of love and hope forever etched onto our lips.

* * *

 **A/N Hi guys, sorry for the long wait (also in regards to eyes closed) I've started back at uni, my final year and also I've had writers block having to write so many different things & essays at once but my creativity is thankfully flowing again and regular updates will hopefully be back in full swing. I'm really proud of this chapter, I hope you enjoyed and please review I love to know your thoughts. xxxx**


	34. Chapter 34

March 2017

Looking out the window, I watch closely as a bird flutters past and lands on the pretty tree. It perches, looking upward at the sun, resting before taking off to whatever new destination awaits him. Spring has come in a flurry of blossoming flowers and chilly sunny mornings and my baby is just under two months from her delivery date. I recall the joyous moment I found out that I was having a little _girl_.

A week after Paris, and after Christian had asked me to marry him, he threw me the world's most lavish gender reveal party. I found out via an airplane that swirled loopy pink writing across the puffy white clouds as we stepped out of the venue and looked up. I had cried of course and then we cut the cake in which violet and rose candied hearts spilled out in a flurry.

That was two months ago and now I only have the same amount of time to go before I met her.

After the gender reveal, I moved into our new home and balanced my days between preparing for our baby and finishing my book. I'm proud to say it's not completed and I'm making revisions. Christian took me out to dinner for celebrations and I loved the fact that he was so supportive.

With time away to reflect and be myself in such beautiful surroundings, my writing had flourished and I'd been able to finish the tale of Penny and Austen. I'd fleshed out their lives from the beginning and wrote them the epic happy ending they deserved. The main thing I loved about writing was that I got to do just that. Create my own story and give the characters all the things I wanted them to have and hoped I would too. If I only I could write my own happy ending, I'd forever be content but life just isn't that easy.

The fiasco with Leila Williams blew over like a bad storm and I never even got to meet her. A couple of weeks after we were back and settled into the new house, I received an email from her asking to meet over coffee. When I refused, she sent me almost a page of hateful words, telling me that Christian didn't love me and he was a sadist. I deleted her emails, Christian had a restraining order put on her and suddenly she found herself fired from the new part time waitressing job she'd acquired here, forcing her to go back to Olympia with her parents. Emma was furious, as expected, to have her plan backfire and she too had disappeared though I had no qualms that she'd be back soon. Either way, I was enjoying her absence while it lasted and Charlie didn't seem to be too fussed either. After asking about her a few times, he hadn't mentioned her again and neither had we. We'd all been too excited watching my belly grow.

"You're so big," I coo to my bump.

I feel her kick in response which leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Christian was with me when she did it the first time, it was such a beautiful moment.

My baby shower is in a few days and I'm so excited. We're having it here at my request for it to be small and intimate. For guests, I've only invited Kate, Jose, Carla, Mia and a few of our friends from school, Lila and Ashley and Jose's sister, Selena. Christian is taking the opportunity to spend some time with Carrick, Elliot and Charlie having 'boys' day' doing various enthralling activities.

Today is a Monday and Christian is due home from work with Charlie anytime soon. I've made my lasagne, knowing how much they love it. Gail was happy to have the evening off and I was happy to be of use. Returning to the kitchen, the room is heavily scented with the aroma of fresh food as I take it out and cut it into pieces. I'm busy tasting my creations when I hear them come in. Charlie runs to me, giving me a quick hug before he sprints upstairs. Christian is slower in his approach, coming up behind me and winding his arms around my waist, palms against my bump. He kisses my neck slowly and whispers "smells amazing."

"I made it for you." I turn in his arms bringing the fork to his lips and he closes his eyes in satisfaction as he takes a bite.

"God you know how to satisfy a man," he groans.

I laugh. "How was work?"

"Okay," he smiles. "How's my fiancé?"

He taps my nose playfully with his finger before I can answer and I giggle.

"You're the cutest thing in the world, do you know that?" He breathes, running a finger across my cheek and I flush under his intense scrutiny.

"Dinners ready," I say, turning back to the food. "Will you take the salad out the fridge?"

* * *

Dinner is lovely. We all sit and eat at the comfy table in the family room while Charlie tells me all about his day.

"I had to paint a picture of my family today," he announces through bites. "It's not finished yet though."

"Oh? I'm excited to see it," I say.

"I painted me daddy and you Ana and the baby."

I'm touched. Truly. Looking over at Christian, I can see he's smiling thoughtfully.

"That's lovely honey," I say honestly. "We'll hang it in the living room okay?"

He nods proudly.

"Are you excited for your sister?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's been ages."

Both Christian and I laugh.

"She's got to take time to grow," I explain.

Charlie wanted to help with the nursery. We let him help paint and he created a beautiful painting of himself holding his sister which we framed and hung in there. The nursery is my new favourite room in the whole house. Pastel lilac and baby blues adorn the walls and there's the plushest cosiest cushions and chairs in there. The bookcase is a vintage wooden one with all the best fairy tales and classic stories for us to read to her. The walk-in wardrobe boasts hundreds of the cutest baby outfits; Christian's own doing. It's beautiful and I can't wait for my baby.

After dinner, Charlie heads up to his playroom and Christian and I head to the living room to lounge. He makes me tea and we talk about our days and it's lovely.

"I'll miss you on Wednesday," I tell him.

"I'll miss you too. Save me some cake?"

I smile over at him.

"Are you, truly excited Christian?" I say, finally giving voice to my inner fears. "About the baby," I clarify.

His brows furrow in confusion.

"Of course I am. Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know," I confess, keeping my eyes glued to the beautiful diamond on my finger. "You've been through this once, and... I know we haven't been together that long at all. I just don't know if you think it's too soon."

He's quiet for a moment before looking up at me.

"Ana, you've bought me joy like I could never imagine," he says seriously, staring deeply into my eyes. "I never thought I'd find someone as amazing as you. Someone that I could love in the way I love you. You're my fiancé, but you're also my best friend. The baby, our baby, is such an unexpected surprise but one I'm so thankful for. Yes, I've had Charlie, but I love him more than anything. Just as I love you and just as I'll love my daughter."

He takes my hand, watching as my eyes silently fill with tears. "It doesn't matter how long we've been together. None of that matters. Despite everything we've gone through, I'm still the happiest man alive because of you. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat."

"I'm sorry," I cry. "I'm sorry, I know. I'm emotional-" I cut off, a blubbering whirl of hormones, insecurity and angst.

"Never doubt how I feel about you," he says seriously, tilting my chin with his finger. "Whatever else you may think, never doubt that."

As the evening wears on, I decide to immerse myself in a hot bath while Christian gets Charlie ready for bed. By the time he's done, I'm out and in m silk robe as I dry my hair at my vanity in our bedroom.

"You smell like roses," he murmurs, pressing his nose and mouth into my freshly washed hair. He gathers it to the side and pulls at my earlobe with his tongue, making me shudder.

"Christian," I say, in gentle warning.

He retreats, shoulders sagging as he bounces off back onto the bed. I readjust my slightly fallen robe and stand from my chair.

"I'm sorry," I say, the guilt written all over my face.

He sighs. "You don't have to apologise Ana," he says. "If you're not in the mood you don't have to be. However," he sits up now, running his hands through his hair. "I don't quite understand. Are you sure it's just that you're not feeling it or is it something else?"

"What else would it be?" I snap defensively, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

He raises an eyebrow as if we're both in on some seedy little secret. "Last night, in the shower. I heard you Ana, you were - frustrated."

My face is burning now. He just would hear that.

"What is it?" He asks softly, crawling forward to the foot of the bed, closer to me. "You can tell me anything."

I look everywhere but at him before finally speaking.

"I... there's stretch marks on my legs," I say quietly. "I'm heavy and fat and I feel...undesirable." I gesture toward him with my hands. "You're so perfect."

He looks at me in utter disbelief, not understanding. Finally, he says "I'm not perfect."

I scoff and he pulls me gently by the hand before him. "Firstly," he states, "I don't care how many god damn stretch marks you have. They in no way shape or form make you any less beautiful to me. Secondly, you are not heavy and you're certainly not fat. The word you're looking for is pregnant. Beautiful and pregnant and healthy. Lastly," he brushes my hair behind my ear, trailing it down my arm. "You could never ever be undesirable to me. You're even more beautiful now than the day I met you."

And the way he's looking at me makes me believe every word he's saying. The smoulder, the lust and desire prominent in his eyes is a wild fire.

"Please don't ever feel insecure with me," he pleads. "You're the most gorgeous woman in my world. Don't hide yourself away."

And my own eyes are now smouldering also. I lace my fingertips through his and lean forward, kissing him softly. "I love you so much," I breathe.

He whispers it back before pulling away, taking my face between his palms.

"Can I see you?" He asks quietly.

We both know what he means. I nod without hesitancy and he pushes my robe gently back with his fingers. I feel it brush against my thighs before it falls to the ground. I'm completely bare before him now and I bite my lip, hesitant and waiting.

He stares at my breast as he brings one hand up to stroke the underside, the other brushing delicately across my butt, pulling me closer. Finally, he looks up at me; my heart beats wildly in response. He pulls me flush against him, bringing his mouth to my chest, kissing me right between my breasts. He then runs his tongue over the kiss and I shudder before he takes my aching breast in his mouth and sucks, still keeping his gaze locked with my own. It's so erotic, my thighs clench together of their own accord. The action doesn't go unnoticed and Christian's hand trails down, over my bump, across my hips and thighs. The feeling of my sensitive skin under his powerful hands makes me moan. His fingers dip between my parted legs now, finding my wetness where he touches and teases. I lean forward, holding on to his shoulders as he continues dragging his fingers across my clit. He gently eases two fingers inside of me, scanning my face for every trace of pleasure. My mouth parts as I let out a soft cry. He catches it for me, biting my lip in earnest as his fingers move deeper, in time with my breaths and our messy kisses. He brings me to a swift release before bringing me on to his lap fully and kissing his way down my throat. My hands fly to his jeans, unbuttoning and pulling them down quickly. He shifts, kicking them off the rest of the way. There's no warning before he buries himself inside me, filling me wholly and completely.

"Christian," I breathe, gripping my hands in his hair. The softness feels amazing, all the sensations rippling through my body are too much to handle. His kisses, the heat of our bodies pressed together, the deep and fulfilling feeling of him inside me.

His hand on my ass guides me, my hair tangles up between us and we're so frantic that he falls back onto the bed, still inside me. He watches as I ride him now, my hands pressed against his chest. I'm truly in ecstasy, my body craving his touch.

"Do you see how fucking beautiful you are," he growls, sitting back up to kiss me.

His fingers come between us, rubbing furiously and my shattered cries are drowned out by his tongue, warm and wet against mine. Christian comes heavily inside me with a groan and continues to chase my second orgasm with his fingers.

"I love you Christian," I whisper as we both drown in our ecstasy together.

He considers my eyes, grabbing my face between his hands.

* * *

Today is the day of my baby shower. Kate stayed the night so she could set up this morning. I'm dressed in a rose gold Victoria Secret matching cropped jumper with joggers (the dress code I chose for today). Cosy but comfy is the motto. My hair is delicately curled and my nails are pretty and pink. Christian and Charlie left early and I'm now just applying some lip-gloss when I hear the door ring. Kate answers and I make out Jose's loud party mode voice before I even step foot outside my bedroom.

"ANA," he shouts.

I descend the stairs slowly and he grins at me from the bottom. He's wearing a blue version of my outfit.

"There's my girl," he coos, taking me all in. His hand presses against my visible bump softly. "You look beautiful."

I smile at him before noticing his sister, Selena.

"Ana," she smiles, giving me a hug. "It's been too long. You look amazing."

"So do you," I lean back, taking a look at her. She's a class A hotty with long black hair and tan skin. She's wearing a purple version of my co-ord. Kate's is of course, scarlet red.

"This house is unreal," she comments, looking around.

I look myself and find that Kate has gone all out. There's rose gold balloons and lettering that reads Ana's baby shower and another reading it's a girl. Soft pink and dusty rose cushions compliment the room perfectly, matching pink and white flowers adorning every surface. Present bags I have no idea who from are stacked on the dining table.

"Gail's preparing food in the kitchen," Kate says as I stare.

"This is amazing Kate, honestly," I whisper, grabbing her hands. "Thank you so much. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

Her cheeks tinge pink in reply.

Ashley and Lila come next, both looking a little nervous and small in my enormous house. At school, the five of us were always a close group but since they went to college we hadn't seen them much. I hug them both tightly, happy that they've came back for me. My mom comes next, dressed in a green version and Mia of course is last. Her VS co-ord is sapphire blue and much to my surprise, Grace is behind her. She's not in a VS outfit, but she is in jeans and a sweater, much more casual than I've ever seen her. To say I'm surprised is the understatement of the century.

"Hello," she says with a smile, looking at my bump. "I hope you don't mind me popping by," she holds up a glistening gold present bag. "I got you something."

"Of course I don't," I pull her into a hug. "Thank you so much for coming."

"My niece!" Mia squeals, pressing both hands against me. "Oh Ana, you're glowing."

"Okay, time to open presents," Kate announces loudly. "Come on, this way."

We're all seated around the plush cushions as I open my first present. It's from Kate and she's so excited I wonder if she wants to open it for me. Ripping off the paper, I see the most gorgeous baby pink ballet flats. Peering closer, I see that they're FENDI.

"Kate," I gush.

"Aren't they adorable?" She grins. "I saw them and had to get them."

From Jose, he's bought a tiny lavender t-shirt reading 'best uncle ever,' and a matching toy teddy. Selena got me a lilac fuzzy baby blanket and Ashley and Lila both give me a joint gift of a giant hamper which includes all sorts of cute pink baby things from a toy rabbit to pacifiers to socks.

"Guys, everything's so cute," I say, holding back a tear. Just looking at all the baby things around me suddenly makes everything so much more real.

"Mine next," Mia says, practically clapping her hands together in glee.

Hers is wrapped in a huge Gucci bag which is just as I expected. She's leaning forward, eyes bright as I open a fluffy white coat in bewilderment.

"Mia, it's gorgeous," I tell her. "But she'll be born in Summer."

"And six months later it will be winter," she says, rolling her eyes. "She'll need a coat. I've bought it in a bigger size don't worry. Look, there's more."

Mia is definitely one of a kind and I can't help but laugh. Further inside the bag there is a little pair of booties which are just the cutest thing in the world. I hold them both against my chest with a sigh.

"Mia, they're gorgeous," I say honestly.

She grins.

From Carla, she gifts my little girl a homemade knitted blanket that looks as though she's spent hours on it. The thought makes me tear up a little and lastly, Grace gives me the most elaborate baby scrapbook, decorated with Swarovski crystals and gold lettering.

"To record all her precious little moments," she says with a smile.

"This is so perfect," I whisper, fingering the edges of the heavy paper, imagining the first page filled with my baby's gorgeous face.

"Guys," I finally say, looking up with tears in my eyes. "Thank you so much."

Kate launches at me, crying herself and wrapping me in a tight hug. "We love you Ana banana. And baby Grey."

After presents are exchanged, we eat and drink. Kate's on her third glass of wine and is very tipsy as I sip my mocktail.

"How's things with Elliot?" I whisper as we stand by the food table and devour pink frosted cupcakes.

"Things are going good," he says. "I'm going over to dinner with Grace and Carrick next week which is why she keeps looking over at me."

"You'll be fine," I tell her. "She gets better."

Kate laughs at that before starting to gossip about Ashley's hair.

* * *

At some point in the late afternoon, the boys return. Drunk on wine, Kate flies into Elliot's arms with an undignified kiss and Grace envelopes her grandson as he giggles, trying to get away. My eyes of course are only for Christian but his seem to be concentrated on a cupcake.

I shake my head with a laugh as he stuffs it in his mouth before coming over to me. His arms wrap around my waist, swaying.

"Ana," he murmurs, lips finding my neck.

"Can't hear you with your mouth full," I complain.

"Can it be full of you instead?" He whispers.

"Dirty," I push him.

Helping himself to a large glass of champagne, he brings me down to his lap on the couch.

The celebrations continue all the way into the evening. At eight, Christian orders pizzas for and pretty much everyone except me of course are tipsy. Even Ray comes around later.

"Your kisses taste like champagne," I tell Christian. "Better wipe your mouth."

"I'll pour champagne on you," he says.

I flush between bites of pizza.

As I look around, I feel as though I'm on cloud nine. On the couch opposite, Charlie is fast asleep curled against Grace and Carrick. Kate is on Elliot's lap and my mom and dad are entwined.

"Happy?" Christian asks, hand splaying across my belly.

"Perfectly happy," I murmur, finding his lips. "Perfectly happy."

* * *

 **A/N Hi guys. It's been so long I know! RL has been sooo hectic but hey ho it's Christmas now and I'm back home which means back to writing. There's one chapter left of colours and an epilogue. I'm so sad but I'm also so happy because whenever I finish a story and share it with you guys, I feel such an accomplishment. That been said, I also received some super nasty reviews which were super personal (anonymous of course) which I need to get around to deleting. They kind of disheartened me a little at first but after reading all the love from my real fans and my true readers, I didn't care at all anymore. I love you all! Also, Eyes Closed will be updated finally this week and stay tuned for my new Christian/Ana short fluffy Christmas story over the next few days! There's a lot coming your way! Hope you all have a lovely day and please leave a review xoxo**


	35. Chapter 35

May 30th

Today is a glorious day, and not just because I'm having a weekend alone with my gorgeous fiancé. The sun is shining, illuminating every inch of his perfect face as we lay side by side on soft blankets, soaking up the blossoming summer sun.

"Who knew our backyard could feel like vacation?" Christian sighs, content.

"When it's the size of ours, it's pretty easy," I disagree, sitting up gently. He sits with me, cradling my bump with an attentiveness I'd find annoying if it wasn't for how sweet and concerned he was for my wellbeing.

Today is Saturday. Charlie is with Grace and Carrick for the weekend while Christian and I spend some alone time together before the baby comes. She's due later this week and I'm so excited to meet her. My bump is pretty big now and it's getting much more difficult to manoeuvre around. Christian definitely helps me though, he truly has been amazing throughout my whole pregnancy.

Looking down where his hand rests, he smiles gently.

"Are you scared?" He asks.

"About which part?" I murmur.

"Giving birth," he clarifies, looking into my eyes. "You don't have to worry about being a mother. You're going to be the best mother any child could hope for."

I smile at him, entwining his fingers with mine. "I'm scared of the pain," I admit. "Everyone says it's pretty bad."

He nods in understanding. "I'll be there with you the whole time."

I squeeze his hand. "I know."

Later in the day, Gail comes out with a picnic basket for us. Inside, there's cheese, fruit and little sandwiches.

"This is so cute," I say, helping myself to a grape.

Christian takes it from me with a kiss and I giggle.

"Thief," I accuse.

"I stole your virtue and now I shall steal your grapes."

I burst out laughing at the seriousness on his face. Before he can say anything else I shove a sandwich into his mouth.

"I hope we don't grow grumpy and cranky," I say quietly then. "When the baby comes. I want us to still have fun. To still be _us_."

"I'd never let that happen," he promises, popping another grape into my mouth. " _Ever_."

I kiss him, believing him wholeheartedly. I don't doubt him for a second anymore.

* * *

As evening falls, we relax outside in the hot tub. If feels glorious against all my achy parts. Christian notices my twinges as I try to relax. The pain in my lower back has been on and off for a few days now.

"You okay?" Christian asks, opposite me.

He's sipping a glass of champagne, looking delectable as always.

"I'm fine," I say, dismissing him. I want to enjoy the rest of the night. I will my pain to go away.

"Will you be working Monday?" I ask, trying to concentrate purely on him.

He shakes his head. "No. I want to be here with you just in case. Nothing's more important."

I look at him with loving eyes. His response is to stare at my boobs. I don't even know why I've bothered to wear a bikini, they're spilling out entirely. I've gone up 2 cup sizes since I got pregnant and Christian has loved every moment of it.

"I better still get my turn when our daughter arrives," he says with a raised brow.

"Depends," I bite back. I then think about the fact that I'll have milk.

"If you suck them, milks probably going to come out," I say, only just now considering the idea.

"Good think I like milk then," he winks.

I splash water at him.

"Can I?" He pesters, not dropping the subject.

"If you want," I laugh. His kinkiness never fails to amaze me.

He nods in satisfaction, leaning back again.

We sit in the hot tub until we're completely prune-like. Christian lifts me out and we take a hot shower together before bed. As I lie down, he massages my achy parts which seem to be getting worse instead of better.

"How about you try sleeping honey?"' He suggests.

And I do, but it's futile. I just can't get comfortable, groaning in frustration. Christian fetches me a heated pillow, settling it against my back which soothes it for a while. After midnight, I finally fall asleep but I'm awakened not long after by a sharp pain between my hips. Christian wakes with me, startled. I can just make out his messy hair in the dark.

"Ana?"

That's when I feel it. The wetness between my legs. I'm mortified thinking I've wet myself and then Christian feels it too because he gets out of bed and switches on the light.

"Your waters," he says quietly.

"I have four days to go," I groan.

He just stands, staring at me until I snap. "Do something then!"

"Yes, what do you want me to do?" He asks frantically, running around but not really doing anything.

I'm about to answer when another sharp pain hits. It hurts so bad I sit up with a gasp. He's at my side immediately.

"Shit, Ana," he cries helplessly.

"I need to go to the hospital," I shout.

"Yes, hospital. Of course." He then attempts to help me stand but another contraction stops him in his tracks.

It's even more painful than the last and I let out a cry.

"Christian, I can't move" I cut off, not really able to speak.

The pain is intense and feels as though it's exploded out of nowhere.

"Oh God," I hear him murmuring, trying his best to think of what to do.

"I feel like I need to push," I groan, my head flopping back into the pillows.

The overwhelming sensation in my lower body to push is creeping upon me faster and faster with each moment. I can't believe this is happening right now, I'm completely not mentally prepared but I guess the baby doesn't care about that fact.

"Christian, I'm scared," I murmur, shutting my eyes tightly.

My admission seems to kick him into overdrive. I feel him beside me now, propping me up on my pillows and brushing my hair back from my face.

"You're gonna be okay honey," he promises. "Breathe with me okay? In, and out. Slowly. I'm going to phone the ambulance okay?"

I nod, breathing with him deeply like he tells me to.

On the phone, a woman answers straight away.

"My fiancé is in labour. I think the babies coming now," Christian says to her, trying his best to keep calm.

"Okay, sir, I'm gonna need you to stay nice and calm for me and for mom to be okay? I'll be dispatching paramedics immediately."

Christian nods as though she can see him. Another contraction hits and I scream.

"I'm going to need you to make sure she's in a comfortable position," she continues. "Have her waters broke?"

"Yes, he says quickly. I think she's having contractions."

"You need to see how far dilated she is sir, can you do that for me?"

I close my eyes, breathing deeply, trying to concentrate on the words and not the immense pain I'm feeling but it's hard. I knew giving birth would hurt but I think I may have underestimated it.

"I don't think I can do this," I whisper.

"Ma'am, you're doing fine okay?" She replies, having heard me. "Listen to your body sweetheart. Sir, did you hear me? I need you to see how far dilated she is."

"How do I do that?" He asks, frustrated

"I need you to insert your fingers into the vagina," she says promptly. "Very slowly and gently. I need you to tell me how many fingers you can get in. You're going to need to push up toward the cervix."

 _"Shit."_ He curses. I'm thinking the exact same. The thought of any kind of probing down there is making me cringe.

A rush of pain sweeps over my body once again and I can feel the sweat dripping from my forehead.

"Christian," I whimper.

Immediately, he starts removing my shorts and panties, bringing my knees up and parting them. I make out a blur of his hair as his head disappears between my legs.

"Sir? Are you with me?" The woman on the phone asks.

"Yes," he replies. "I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't. Go slowly and gently. Ma'am, I need you to tell him to stop if it hurts okay?"

"Yes," I cry, gritting my teeth.

And then I feel his fingers pushing inside of me and I clench.

"Ana, baby, try to relax," Christian says softly.

"You try doing this," I say bitterly, frustrated.

Eventually, I manage to do so but I just want him away from my vagina. I feel so full and tight and everything hurts. I'm really not sure I can do this. I don't want to give birth anymore and I tell him so. The baby can come another day.

"All my fingers are fitting without resistance," Christian finally says to the woman, ignoring me.

"Okay, that's great. That's fantastic Ana," the woman says. "Now, when the next contraction hits, if you feel as though you should push, I want you to push down hard okay? And with each contraction that comes that's what I want you to do. Sir, I need you to stay where you are so you can tell me what you see okay?"

Christian reaches up for my hand which I take gratefully. On the next contraction, I think I might have broken a finger or two from the way I'm gripping him as I push down.

"That's it Ana, you're doing so well," she encourages. Sir, do you see anything yet?"

"No."

My whole body clenches. I've never experienced such pain in my life. In this moment, I decide that one baby is enough. We have Charlie and our daughter, there's no need for any more.

The next contraction comes in full force and I squeeze Christian's hand even harder.

"Deep breaths," he says, looking up into my eyes and stroking my leg. "I'm right here."

I meet his gaze, following his breaths. _In, out, in, out_. We follow a meditation sequence, meant to calm me but pushing down with each contraction is getting harder and harder. Finally, a shout from Christian.

"I can see her head," he cries.

I barely register the words. The pain is too strong.

He mumbles some other things back and forth with the woman while I zone out, lost to nothing put pain and pushing. The final contraction is the worst. I push with everything I am, screaming through it all and then the most wondrous thing happens.

A loud cry pierces the room just as the pain leaves my body and I flop back onto the pillows, fatigued.

"Christian," I cry, holding my hands out weakly.

"She's here," he cries. "Oh Ana, she's so beautiful."

He places my baby in my arms and the tears fall freely. I feel so exhausted but all I can see, hear, breathe and smell is the most amazing little breathing baby in my arms. Christian tenderly cuts the cord and places a blanket over the baby. Skin to skin contact is vital, I splay her on my chest as her cries quieten.

"Ana? Can you see if you can try nursing her?" The woman on the phone says. I'd almost forgotten she was there.

"Yeah," I murmur, sitting back up slightly.

I cradle my daughter like she's a china doll as I position her against my chest properly. Christian and I went to a lot of parenting classes together over the past few months so I'm sure I've got the hang of it.

As she latches on, I see the delicate flutter of her eyelashes. Pearly pink skin, light hair and the tiniest little snub of a nose. She sucks and it's the strangest sensation ever. I don't even realise I'm crying buckets until a tear lands on her forehead and I wipe it away delicately.

"So beautiful," I murmur, stroking her full little cheek with the back of my finger.

"How long will the paramedics be?" Christian asks, "she's still bleeding. Is that normal?"

His words are so distant. I can only just make them out.

"Five minutes sir. We're coming as fast as we can. How much blood?"

"Not a lot," he confirms. "Just a little."

I don't even care about me right now. All I care about is the angel on my chest.

"Ana," Christian says softly, coming beside me. His finger joins me in stroking our daughter and risking a glance at him, I see he's crying also. We're both blubbery messes, looking down at the perfect face of our princess.

"She's really ours," I whisper, taking her tiny hand. She wraps it around my finger and I nearly combust.

"She's perfect," Christian murmurs. I then feel his soft lips kiss my cheek.

"You were amazing," he says quietly. "I'm so proud of you."

We remain in our perfect bliss until a bunch of paramedics arrive and disturb us. Were then taken to the hospital to make sure everything's okay. They check me and my baby over, congratulating Christian on being so successful at delivery. He basks in the praise, feeling smug while he messages all our family and friends. A glance at the clock on the wall tells me it's just past two in the morning so I doubt anyone will be awake.

"Where's my baby?" I ask, moving around in the crisp cold hospital bed.

"Here we go," a blonde smiley nurse says, bundling her back up and handing her to me. "She's a lovely healthy little girl. All ten fingers and toes and a sturdy 8lbs 3."

I hold out my hands eagerly, gathering her up when she gives her back.

Her eyes flutter open, yawning and I can just make out the blue of her eyes.

"I love you so much," I whisper to her, kissing her cheeks.

"Does she have a name?" The nurse asks.

Christian's head pops up at this as he sits down carefully next to me.

"We had a few we like, didn't we?" He says, looking at me adoringly.

I nod. "Rosie," I whisper, never taking my eyes off her.

And her cheeks are just that. Flushed and rosy. I've truly never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

"Rosie Grey," Christian says, testing it out on his tongue.

It sounds beautiful.

Just like him.

Just like her.

Just like us.

And in this moment, my entire being seems to just snap into place. Christian, Charlie, Rosie... for the first time, the _only_ thing I feel is bliss. I know that it's just for a while, and life will be difficult again at some point and we'll have problems because that's just the cost of living. But for now, for right now, I would pay any price to have just this second of pure serenity. Love. Hope.

I look toward my lover with a smile, beckoning his head down with my finger. Our lips brush together for just a moment as we whisper I love you's into each-others mouths.

And then Rosie cries and we both pull away with a giggle.

 _Fin._

* * *

A/N Guys! It's been a crazy year and I'm so proud to finally have finished it. There will be an epilogue at some point but now that I'm here, I just don't want to let it go! Thoughts of a sequel have been floating around but I'm not sure what route to take. Would you guys like to see an immediate continuation e.g. how Ana deals with being a mother to Rosie, Rosie being a baby, Ana's book being published etc.… or a much later sequel that focuses mainly on the kids and their school lives etc.… I'm not sure! Also, is anyone even interested in one at all or shall I just do the epilogue and call it a day? Let me know and either way, I'm so glad for finishing the story and thank you so much to everyone who read and supported me. Please leave a comment, lots of love – Elizabeth xxx


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